
Over 80% Of Women Are Wearing The Wrong Bra Size. This Is How To Tell If You Are One Of Them.

My favorite bra died, and that's sad.
It carried me through hot dates when I was single, and supported my lactating ta-ta's through a portion of my pregnancy. We were like besties, that bra and I. As I mourned its loss, I realized that it wasn't that deep for me to be mourning the loss of a bra anyway. For starters, my chi-chi's had outgrown it. I also realized that while I was grieving over my deceased bra in my commando steez, I wasn't having any back aches and my attitude was much more pleasant without it. Had I been so attached to my bra that I did not realize that my bad bra was actually oppressing my tits?
The answer is yes. In fact, more than 80 percent of women are wearing their bras incorrectly. I also found out that a woman changes bra sizes more than six times in her life due to lifestyle, changes in weight, and pregnancy. Knowing this made me realize that I should have buried that contraption a long time ago. The death of my bra was a sign that it was time to step up my game and dress my fun bags in a bra that fits.
I spoke to several bra specialists and they said that there are several ways to tell if you're wearing a bad bra. For example:
- Can you see your boobs falling out of the side of your bra?
- Are your boobs pushed together and looking sexy, yet you aren't wearing a push-up bra?
- Are those straps digging into your shoulders?
- Does the material from your bra stick out so far that it looks like you're wearing cannons under your shirt?
- Are you constantly adjusting it?
- Is your bra so uncomfortable that it feels like you're wearing patriarchal oppression strapped to your chest?
Fortunately, the bra fitting specialists I spoke with told me exactly how a bra should be worn. Whether you're a career woman on the go, in the military on deployment, or on bed rest, these instructions will show you how you're supposed to be fitted for a bra, and it will save you a lot of future bra and back aches.
1. FIRST, GO TO A PROFESSIONAL BRA FITTER
You may think that you know what you're doing when you select a bra, but again, the statistics say otherwise. To make sure you're getting the best bang for your buck, it's best that you see a professional bra fitter to get fitted for the correct size. Not just any bra fitter, you need an OG.
Elyssa Alfieri is a bra specialist at Zoe & Company Professional Bra Fitters store in Concord, N.H. She recommended that you see an expert bra fitter at a store that carries a wide variety of sizes and styles.
We always recommend seeing an expert Professional Bra Fitter in person in a store that carries a wide variety of sizes and styles. Simply put, using a measuring tape is just a small part of finding the right size and fit, and if you aren't in the right size bra already, your measurements may be very misleading! Professional bra fitters have the expertise to take into account the many factors which measuring won't help with—breast tissue density, for example. Or how to accommodate two different sized breasts, which is very common.
2. THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT (WITHOUT A PROFESSIONAL BRA FITTER)
Let's say you're in a position where you can't get to a professional bra fitter. For example, maybe you're deployed to an area that has no malls. Or perhaps you're taking care of a sick or elderly family member who needs a new bra, but can't get out of the house to get fitted. According to Chez Johnson of byChez Designer Lingerie Boutique, there is a way you can do a proper bra fitting at home. First you need to wear a comfortable bra that provides full coverage.
Next, you measure your band size.
Place the tape measure directly under the bust and across your ribcage. All band sizes come in even numbers, so if you're measurements show an odd number, round up to the nearest even number (e.g., from 35 1/2 to 36). You can double-check this by measuring the bottom of your band. Again, if you get an odd number, round up to the nearest even number.Hanes.com
Next, measure the bust by bringing the tape measure underneath the arms, across the middle of the chest.
When you're done, write down those numbers!
If this seems like too much work, keep in mind that some businesses, like Zoe & Company, have the ability to send a bra fitter to your home. Elyssia says,
Depending on the circumstances...we recommend calling around to different stores in your area that offer professional bra fitting to see if they will come to you. We are willing to travel to customers in extenuating circumstances, and likely there are stores in other areas willing to do so.
Elyssia also says that some stores will keep your size on file for you, which will make it much easier to buy and stock up on bras without having to second guess your size if you forget.
3. HOW TO DETERMINE YOUR CUP SIZE
Determining your cup size can be tricky, especially if you get it wrong. Every store has a different way of calculating your cup size, so if you buy your bras online, be sure to check their cup calculator before you purchase your items. You can also use a general cup calculator using your bust and band size measurements on calculator.net.
If you don't have access to the website, you can use a little math to figure out your cup size. Chez says,
Take your band measurement and subtract that from your cup measurement. Each inch represents a cup size. So let's say your band measurement is 34 inches, and your cup measurement is 36 inches, a di erence of two inches. This means your cup size is a B, making you a 34B.
4. MAKE SURE THE BRA FITS
Even though you've take your measurements, and used math to determine your cup size, you still need to make sure it fits. Here are a few things you can do to make sure that your bra is going to give you the coverage that you need, according to realsimple.com
Bend forward at the waist, then slip on the bra and hook it. This ensures your breasts are completely in the cups.
- Adjust the band. The back of the bra should be level with the front.
- Make sure the bra is not too loose. You should be able to slide only one finger underneath the band.
- Fix falling straps. First, tighten the band, then shorten the straps.
- Put on a close-fitting shirt over the bra. If the cups pucker or your breasts bulge, you're not wearing the correct size.
- Look at yourself sideways in a mirror. Your breasts should sit midway between your shoulders and elbows. If not, you need a more supportive and better-fitting bra.
- If you need to go down a cup size for fit, go up one band size, and vice versa. For example, if a 34C is too big for you, move to a 36B.
- Choose a bra that fits perfectly when secured on the outermost hook. As the bra loosens over time, make the band taut by moving toward the tightest hook.
There's a lot of ground to cover when it comes to selecting the correct bra size. Check back for part two of this series, where we get into how your band is supposed to sit on your back, and the best sports bras for small, and heavy chested women.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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