
Love is beautiful and social media is a wonderful way to showcase and spread it. However, many times it's the content with a bit of controversy or drama tied to it that gets all the double taps. But as my father once told me, "It's fine to seek drama in your art and interests, but love should make you happy and feel peace." When he said that, it stuck with me. For a long time, I think I sought out excitement in my relationships and that can lead to a lot of unhappiness or unhealthy situations.
Now, I'm working to see things differently. In fact, when I think about a few of my favorite celebrity couples, I realize they're kind of lowkey. While their names ring bells professionally, their personal lives seem somewhat normal and peaceful. They're just unproblematic, in love, and successful, and I think it's OK to say, "That's goals."
Check out these Black celebrity couples that keep the intimate details of their relationship to themselves but still made our list of faves.
Sabrina Dhowre and Idris Elba
I still remember when the news dropped that actor and musician Idris Elba was married. It was like Black women around the world were a little heartbroken. But that changed when we got introduced to his wife, TV host, model, and former Miss Vancouver, Sabrina Dhowre Elba.
On an episode of The Sip, Sabrina mentioned the couple met in a jazz bar where she chatted with the Luther star in plans of connecting him with a friend. But apparently, Mr. Elba read the situation wrong because he was very much into her. So after Sabrina got her friend's approval, they continued talking and the magic happened.
Clearly, that worked out, because years later they're still going strong. And although the pair seems to value their privacy, when they do share, it puts us in our feelings and makes it super hard to be a hater. Sabrina told The Sip:
"Early on Idris told me, 'Do not read what people say, the internet is a toxic place.' I took that on, and I started living for myself and not feeling like I have to justify my relationship. It's not for other people."
"I know what we have is amazing and I cherish it," she continued. "But at the same time we're trying to get used to exploring it openly and that's one of the reasons we started our podcast, Coupledom."
Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict
Tia Mowry is one of those celebrities we've admired for decades. Her work on timeless classics like Sister, Sister, and The Game have entertained and inspired so many, so it always feels good to support celebrities who not only share positivity through their work but through their personal lives as well. And one way she and her husband, actor Cory Hardrict, do that is through their beautiful display of love and marriage.
When reflecting on how they met, The Chi actor told Global Grind, "I was waiting at a bus stop after I shot my first film. She and her sister drove by, they saw me waiting, and asked to give me a ride. I was so embarrassed."
He continued, "But, they gave me a ride and we have been friends ever since." Today, they are both successful actors and very much in love after 13 years of marriage.
Eudoxie and Chris "Ludacris" Bridges
As an Atlanta transplant, I have to start this by saying we don't give Ludacris enough credit for a lot of things. But one area I think definitely isn't discussed enough is his happy marriage to the influencer, author, and philanthropist Eudoxie. The couple met in 2008 at "Luda Day Weekend," an annual celebrity celebration focused on service. They quickly developed a friendship. Fast-forward to six years later: they tied the knot in a baecation ceremony at a secret location.
Since that time, the rapper has gained dual citizenship in Gabon, showing a true interest in his wife's heritage.
About a year ago, the couple has shared a major hardship. Eudoxie wrote an emotional Instagram post, which read:
"I had a miscarriage and needed to have surgery. It was very easy to complain and self-pity but I refused to let the enemy win. I stayed faithful and prayed up. I spent hours focusing on the many ways the Lord has blessed me. How could I complain when God has blessed me with the opportunity to already experience motherhood? I'm sharing this with you all to remind you to live in gratitude."
She continued, " Thank you God for your favor over my life. Thank you for my beautiful family and friends who have been so supportive. Thank you for another year!" The couple has recently welcomed their second child together and is excited about the launch of Karma's World, a children's series created by Ludricis, dedicated to his oldest daughter Karma, now streaming on Netflix.
Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin
Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin were very open about their courtship and their decision to be celibate before getting married. However, more recently, they've kept their marriage details pretty close to the chest. When they do share with us, it seems pretty clear that these two are very much in love.
In their book The Wait, the couple shared that they met years ago but reconnected on the set of the 2011 film, Jumping the Broom.
On Oprah's Super Soul Sunday Meagan reflected on meeting DeVon saying, "I remember thinking, wow, that's the kind of guy I wish I could marry. I thought he was out of my league because of how amazing he was."
DeVon expressed that he thought she was too much of a celebrity and out of his league as well. But thanks to their commitment to each other and their faith they ended up together a little over a year later.
Keith Powers and Ryan Destiny
Both of these actors have a loyal following of admirers so it was quite a story when these two hit the scene together. I mean when they drop a picture, it only takes a few seconds for the post to be full of comments and emojis. The actors told Teen Vogue that they met at the mag's 2015 party. As soon as Keith Powers saw Ryan Destiny, he walked over and introduced himself, sparking a beautiful friendship. Then, thanks to social media and a genuine bond, the relationship grew from there.
Powers told Teen Vogue, "I realized I was in love when I knew my life would be extremely affected negatively if Ryan wasn't in it."
"Loving someone is a very natural feeling that just happens," he added. "You can't just wake up and say, 'I love this person.' You feel it. You realize like, 'Wow, this person is a piece of me,' and regardless, you don't ever want that person out of your life."
Still, we don't see the couple in the mix too much. And the reason why may surprise you. In an interview with The Jed Foundation, Keith revealed his battles with anxiety and depression and that he can sometimes become uncomfortable with the attention that his relationship receives. He recalled a dark time, adding, "People speaking on my relationship and having opinions on it really hurt me. I'd have mornings where I'd literally dread the fact that I had to get up for the day. The anxiety of getting on social media was really getting to me."
Featured image via Getty Images/Gregg DeGuire
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024









