Love is love, but we all know that sometimes, black love just hits a lil' different, and Ryan Destiny and Keith Powers are one celebrity couple that we just can't get enough of. The usually tight-lipped couple recently sat down with We The Urban to give us all the details on their modern-day, melanated fairytale and our hearts cannot take it.
Ryan and Keith's love story began in 2015 at a Teen Vogue party, where Ryan's one-day Prince Charming said that he was so smitten by her beauty that he was too nervous to ask her out. Over the course of the next year, the two communicated via social media and found themselves crossing paths more frequently than ever. Eventually, the couple's casual friendship evolved into a whirlwind romance that we can't get enough of. In their interview with We The Urban, the couple revealed that while it may not have been love at first sight, the chemistry between them was undeniable since the beginning. Ryan explained:
"I had shamefully liked Keith since we met though. We were just friends for a minute. So when we let things naturally happen, if you let it, love falls in naturally too."
As two wildly popular stars in the public eye, their relationship hasn't been easy, but both of these boo'd-up celebrities say that having the opportunity to love one another makes the struggle for privacy more than worth it. Keith told We The Urban that it didn't take long for him to realize that Ryan was the one:
"I realized I was in love when I knew my life would be extremely affected in a negative way if Ryan wasn't in it. Loving someone is a very natural feeling that just happens. You can't just wake up and SAY I love this person, you FEEL it. You realize like wow, this person is a piece of me and regardless you don't ever want that person out of your life."
The couple made their relationship official in October of 2016 and they are still going strong. Ryan and Keith may be young, but they are ready to be a positive example of black love and we are here for all of it. In their interview, they dropped some major gems about maintaining a healthy relationship in this digital day and age. Here were the highlights:
Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy
Keith explained that being in a relationship inspired him to change as a man, but we all know that real change is never easy. The New Edition Story actor says his relationship with Ryan hasn't been easy, but nothing worth having comes without doing the work first:
"It taught me how much I love myself, it taught me about my insecurities, it taught me how to be more of a man. I'm still learning about myself. I think relationships really help you as a human. You have to be a student in a relationship as well, you have to be willing to learn. It also shows me that it's going to be work regardless. It'll never be perfect and you have to be willing to put in the work. It's not easy but anything worth having isn't."
Privacy Is Key
Minding your own damn business has become a foreign concept in the digital age, making relationships much harder for the people that are in them. Keith and Ryan are the masters of keeping things low-key and shared that privacy has been one of the most important factors in keeping their relationship as strong as Teflon. Keith said:
"The more you keep private the happier you'll be. It's not easy being in a public relationship, so you try to keep as much as you can private. Control your own narrative, don't give people too much because they make up stuff from the outside looking in. It's also very important to communicate and let each other know how you feel."
Ryan said that initially, they tried to hide their relationship for a number of reasons, but now, although things don't seem to get any easier, they fight to find a balance that works best for them:
"It's not easy, not going to lie. For a minute we tried to hide it for numerous reasons.. but as human beings sometimes you want to just shout to the world 'I love this person and I'm happy!' We try to find a balance. I'm already a private person and very career driven so reminding people that I am my own person is important. Luckily, for the most part, people recognize that."
If You're Not Growing Together, You're Growing Apart
I'm not the same person I was six months ago, and I'm for damn sure not the same person I was six years ago, and that's okay. The only thing consistent in life is change, so it's important to have a partner that you can grow with because if you're not growing together, you're growing apart. At only 24- and 26-years-old, Ryan and Keith are both in the process of building a legacy and growth is crucial to reaching their maximum potential. While some people may see their age as a downside to their relationship, the former STAR actress says that finding love at a young age is truly a blessing:
"I think there's a sense of freedom you feel at this age. I'm endless. I can do anything. Go anywhere. Create myself. Make mistakes. Learn. Make some more of them. Just grow in general. I think growing with someone at this age is interesting. It's beautiful to look back and see who a person was when you met them vs. now. We evolve every year. And… I don't think that ever stops no matter what age you are. I love that."
Keith says that because change is so consistent in our lives, we have to always be willing to learn something new. He explained:
"It's always great to grow with someone. You got more time for your love to get stronger. You get to make mistakes and learn, you also grow as a human. I believe love teaches. You get to be active in love young and you also get through obstacles you don't have to worry about when you get older."
Love Can Get Messy…
To us, it may seem like Ryan and Keith's relationship is all sexy selfies and butterflies, but in reality, they deal with relationship problems just like the rest of us. To Ryan, the key to overcoming these hard times is changing your paradigm:
"There have been many moments in our relationship that made my heart feel heavy. In a good way and sometimes not so good way. In those moments, whatever they may be... the way I would think and feel wouldn't feel surface anymore. You see things differently. Want to be different. The best you for yourself. The best you for your other. Knowing things will get-if anything more difficult but knowing you both are IN it. Once I realized that, and then some, it was a rush."
So Make Sure To Love Yourself First.
You should never be with someone who makes you feel hard to love, and yes, that includes yourself, sis. Before you explore your relationship options, you have to take the time to really get to know yourself, and that's exactly what Ryan Destiny did before meeting her current boo. She explained:
"How much I love myself. I got out of a relationship years ago because I needed time to work on that. Now around this time of my life, I've learned to see how much I do. There's a quote from a writer I love, 'Do not attach your happiness to anyone without checking in with yourself first.' I've always known the importance of that. Getting to that place is the challenge. Once you're there, you feel the difference. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually different and it is wildly beneficial for both people."
Read the full interview here!
Featured image via Instagram
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Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
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Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
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Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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