Love is love, but we all know that sometimes, black love just hits a lil' different, and Ryan Destiny and Keith Powers are one celebrity couple that we just can't get enough of. The usually tight-lipped couple recently sat down with We The Urban to give us all the details on their modern-day, melanated fairytale and our hearts cannot take it.
Ryan and Keith's love story began in 2015 at a Teen Vogue party, where Ryan's one-day Prince Charming said that he was so smitten by her beauty that he was too nervous to ask her out. Over the course of the next year, the two communicated via social media and found themselves crossing paths more frequently than ever. Eventually, the couple's casual friendship evolved into a whirlwind romance that we can't get enough of. In their interview with We The Urban, the couple revealed that while it may not have been love at first sight, the chemistry between them was undeniable since the beginning. Ryan explained:
"I had shamefully liked Keith since we met though. We were just friends for a minute. So when we let things naturally happen, if you let it, love falls in naturally too."
As two wildly popular stars in the public eye, their relationship hasn't been easy, but both of these boo'd-up celebrities say that having the opportunity to love one another makes the struggle for privacy more than worth it. Keith told We The Urban that it didn't take long for him to realize that Ryan was the one:
"I realized I was in love when I knew my life would be extremely affected in a negative way if Ryan wasn't in it. Loving someone is a very natural feeling that just happens. You can't just wake up and SAY I love this person, you FEEL it. You realize like wow, this person is a piece of me and regardless you don't ever want that person out of your life."
The couple made their relationship official in October of 2016 and they are still going strong. Ryan and Keith may be young, but they are ready to be a positive example of black love and we are here for all of it. In their interview, they dropped some major gems about maintaining a healthy relationship in this digital day and age. Here were the highlights:
Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy
Keith explained that being in a relationship inspired him to change as a man, but we all know that real change is never easy. The New Edition Story actor says his relationship with Ryan hasn't been easy, but nothing worth having comes without doing the work first:
"It taught me how much I love myself, it taught me about my insecurities, it taught me how to be more of a man. I'm still learning about myself. I think relationships really help you as a human. You have to be a student in a relationship as well, you have to be willing to learn. It also shows me that it's going to be work regardless. It'll never be perfect and you have to be willing to put in the work. It's not easy but anything worth having isn't."
Privacy Is Key
Minding your own damn business has become a foreign concept in the digital age, making relationships much harder for the people that are in them. Keith and Ryan are the masters of keeping things low-key and shared that privacy has been one of the most important factors in keeping their relationship as strong as Teflon. Keith said:
"The more you keep private the happier you'll be. It's not easy being in a public relationship, so you try to keep as much as you can private. Control your own narrative, don't give people too much because they make up stuff from the outside looking in. It's also very important to communicate and let each other know how you feel."
Ryan said that initially, they tried to hide their relationship for a number of reasons, but now, although things don't seem to get any easier, they fight to find a balance that works best for them:
"It's not easy, not going to lie. For a minute we tried to hide it for numerous reasons.. but as human beings sometimes you want to just shout to the world 'I love this person and I'm happy!' We try to find a balance. I'm already a private person and very career driven so reminding people that I am my own person is important. Luckily, for the most part, people recognize that."
If You're Not Growing Together, You're Growing Apart
I'm not the same person I was six months ago, and I'm for damn sure not the same person I was six years ago, and that's okay. The only thing consistent in life is change, so it's important to have a partner that you can grow with because if you're not growing together, you're growing apart. At only 24- and 26-years-old, Ryan and Keith are both in the process of building a legacy and growth is crucial to reaching their maximum potential. While some people may see their age as a downside to their relationship, the former STAR actress says that finding love at a young age is truly a blessing:
"I think there's a sense of freedom you feel at this age. I'm endless. I can do anything. Go anywhere. Create myself. Make mistakes. Learn. Make some more of them. Just grow in general. I think growing with someone at this age is interesting. It's beautiful to look back and see who a person was when you met them vs. now. We evolve every year. And… I don't think that ever stops no matter what age you are. I love that."
Keith says that because change is so consistent in our lives, we have to always be willing to learn something new. He explained:
"It's always great to grow with someone. You got more time for your love to get stronger. You get to make mistakes and learn, you also grow as a human. I believe love teaches. You get to be active in love young and you also get through obstacles you don't have to worry about when you get older."
Love Can Get Messy…
To us, it may seem like Ryan and Keith's relationship is all sexy selfies and butterflies, but in reality, they deal with relationship problems just like the rest of us. To Ryan, the key to overcoming these hard times is changing your paradigm:
"There have been many moments in our relationship that made my heart feel heavy. In a good way and sometimes not so good way. In those moments, whatever they may be... the way I would think and feel wouldn't feel surface anymore. You see things differently. Want to be different. The best you for yourself. The best you for your other. Knowing things will get-if anything more difficult but knowing you both are IN it. Once I realized that, and then some, it was a rush."
So Make Sure To Love Yourself First.
You should never be with someone who makes you feel hard to love, and yes, that includes yourself, sis. Before you explore your relationship options, you have to take the time to really get to know yourself, and that's exactly what Ryan Destiny did before meeting her current boo. She explained:
"How much I love myself. I got out of a relationship years ago because I needed time to work on that. Now around this time of my life, I've learned to see how much I do. There's a quote from a writer I love, 'Do not attach your happiness to anyone without checking in with yourself first.' I've always known the importance of that. Getting to that place is the challenge. Once you're there, you feel the difference. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually different and it is wildly beneficial for both people."
Read the full interview here!
Featured image via Instagram
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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