Women experience loss on a more intimate level than any other creature on Earth. We've all mourned the death of a loved one, relationship, or even the loss of our own identities. Loss is inevitable, but nothing could be more traumatic than the death of someone who's life was conceived within your womb.
It's estimated that anywhere between 10-20 percent of pregnancies in the U.S. result in miscarriage, but the actual rate may be much higher because many happen before a woman knows that she's pregnant. Most miscarriages occur within the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, but 1 out of 5 pregnancies result in miscarriage in the second trimester. Since black women normally have higher risk factors, we have a higher chance of pregnancy loss - including miscarriages, stillbirths, and preterm births.
Yesterday, Ludacris and his wife Eudoxie celebrated Eudoxie's 32nd birthday with family and friends. The two were engaged after five years of dating, and married the same day in 2014. The couple announced last December that their New Year's Resolution was to have a baby boy in 2018, but yesterday, Eudoxie made a bold confession that inspired us all by showing gratitude despite surviving a heartbreaking experience.
She wrote on Instagram:
"This year didn't necessarily start off right for us. I had a miscarriage and needed to have surgery. It was very easy to complain and self pity but I refused to let the enemy win."
Born in West Central Africa, Gabonese Eudoxie endured physical and sexual abuse and came to America knowing only three words. If there's anybody who deserves a break, it's definitely Eudoxie, but she learned to focus on faith and count her blessings instead:
"I stayed faithful and prayed up. I spent hours focusing on the many ways the Lord has blessed me. How could I complain when God has blessed me with the opportunity to already experience motherhood?"
The couple are parents to a 2-year-old Cadence, the rapper's daughters from past relationships, Cai, 5, and Karma, 16, and also raise Eudoxie's younger sister from Gabon. Although they have a big happy family, only a mother who's loved and lost a child knows that the pain never diminishes.
NPR reported that black women are much more vulnerable to losing their babies, warranting some serious analysis. The numbers don't lie, and the numbers reveal that there are a multitude of women of color that deal with prenatal and postnatal loss every year. Although no hole can fill the loss of a child, Eudoxie says that she used gratitude to help her navigate through her emotional turmoil.
She continued in the post:
"I'm sharing this with you all to remind you to live in gratitude. When the enemy tries to knock you down, get even closer to your faith. My faith has been tested many times throughout my life but I'm only getting stronger. Life will not always go as planned and keeping a positive and grateful attitude will only bring more and bigger blessings."
Her strength to publicly confront her loss is admirable, and it teaches us a valuable lesson:
Your test will always result in a testimony.
Whatever your religion, you have to understand that there is an enemy that will kick you when you're down; but staying down is a choice. Eudoxie's brave confession teaches us that pain is inevitable but suffering is an option. There comes a time when your faith will be tested, but Eudoxie proves that if we keep our faith and our intentions aligned, we have infinite power.
Featured image by C Flanigan/Getty Images