

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Specifically, sex during pregnancy and the sex positions that are safe for pregnant women. Finding the best sex position can be stressful enough with your partner. Now, try doing that with a bun in the oven. It’s bad enough that you could be uncomfortable and exhausted, or your sex drive is through the roof due to hormonal changes. So often, many parents are afraid of “hurting the baby/babies” or not being able to perform as they did before pregnancy. But understand that a baby stops nothing, especially keeping those sparks alive in the bedroom.
But what are the best sex positions for pregnant women, and do those positions only cater to people in specific trimesters? Luckily, birthing expert, teacher, and founder of Empowered Black Doula, Keshia Lockett, is here to answer some of our most pressing questions about the best sex positions for pregnant women, including women who may not be able to engage physically. Keshia explains that the task may not be the easiest, but it’s very doable and worth it, no matter what trimester you’re in.
Here are Keshia’s tips and tricks for having sex safely while pregnant.
What To Know About Sex During Pregnancy
"The best advice I can give is that it will not hurt you when you have sex while pregnant. The biggest thing to understand is that your baby is protected. Your baby is in the uterus. Your baby is surrounded by amniotic fluid, and there is no way for your partner to get that far up to harm your baby.
"And there is another barrier protecting your baby from that [which] is your cervix. Your cervix is down extremely low into your pelvis, another way you’re protected. So you can cross that off [your list of concerns] because there is no way to reach the baby. And you should be able to enjoy it as much as you want to enjoy it."
Sex During Pregnancy: The First 3 Months
"Before your belly grows, you have a free for all. You can pretty much do the same sex positions you were doing before pre-pregnancy. Everyone is different; some people’s [belly] start showing much earlier than others."
After the First Trimester: The Best Pregnant Sex Positions
1. Reverse cowgirl
Qori B./xoNecole
"When you’re on top but facing the opposite of your partner. That’s a very comfortable position, and you’ll have more control. You can control everything while also being more comfortable. Your belly isn’t on them too much, and they’re also comfortable."
2. Spooning
Qori B./xoNecole
"[For spooning,] you’ll want to lay the leg you’re lying on straight and your other leg up. And [you can] rest the raised leg on your partner for additional support."
3. Cowgirl
Qori B./xoNecole
"Another one where you’re on top and in control. [Control in terms of the level of penetration and motion of straddle.]"
4. Edge of the bed (table top)
Qori B./xoNecole
"[In this position,] your body is at the edge of the bed but not too much on your back. There are blood vessels in your back, and laying on your back while pregnant can cause breathing issues with the placenta, you, and the baby. So, I would suggest tilting to the side."
5. Doggy style
Qori B./xoNecole
"Everyone loves this one, and it’s the easiest one, too, because your belly isn’t in the way of this position."
How to Use Sex Toys During Pregnancy Safely
Qori B./xoNecole
"[During pregnancy], you can enjoy [sex] toys as much as you want to. And for many women, towards the end of their pregnancy, sex is uncomfortable. Sex toys provide you and your partner options when penetration isn’t as comfortable.
"Sex releases oxytocin, the primary hormone that makes you go into labor. I have had clients call me to tell me they were in labor and had sex the night before. So, therefore, using sex toys can release those hormones and put your body in labor.
"Sex can be achievable and pleasurable for everyone. Even rough sex is okay unless a woman is diagnosed with a short cervix. Then she has to avoid rough sex, or else she can go into preterm labor. And sometimes, their doctor will prohibit sex altogether and want their patient to stay away from an orgasm. If that is the case, she and her partner can focus on clitoris-stimulating toys, which is another reason sex toys are great.
"Unfortunately, Black women are more at risk for developing a short cervix, and having it can stop you from doing many things you enjoyed before pregnancy."
In addition to all of the insightful information Keshia provided, she also wants women to know that if they're at a stage of their pregnancy where they do not want sex as much or at all, there are other options for intimacy – dates, foot massages, baths together, etc.
Lastly, couples should listen to each other, listen to their bodies, and not be afraid to ask their doula or medical provider questions. That is what they are there for.
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Feature image by Jana Ritcher/ Getty Images
- The Journey To Motherhood Is The Best-Kept Secret, Let Me Tell You Why ›
- The Best Way To "Ease Into Sex" After Having A Baby ›
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
'When You Build It, They Can’t Tell You You Can’t Sit': DJ Miss Milan, Marsai Martin & More Talk Confidence
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit wasn’t just another branded panel event—it was an inspiring, sometimes emotional, and always honest look at what it really takes to rise, thrive, and stay at the top. From Olympians to entrepreneurs, artists to execs, the room was full of powerful women sharing the real stories behind their highlight reels. I walked away moved by their vulnerability, strength, and refusal to dim their light.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play