I think we all know what it feels like to have our favorite sex toy fail us in one way or another, particularly the conundrum of having it die mid-use. But even then, there has never been a part of me that considered using random objects around my house. Instinctively, I was aware that stimulating my coochie with a makeshift dildo would not be the answer to my problem. But, instead, further exacerbate an already frustrating situation…making it…uncomfortable, to say the least.
However, this doesn’t acknowledge the sexually ambitious and curious kinksters who seek out the thrill because there are no doubt those who go for the kill with no reasoning. Still, I don’t have to remind you what curiosity did to the cat, so caution is still best. And, unless your goal is to be on an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER, then I urge you to refrain from masturbating with these…things…often found in your home. Yes, I’m tabling (no pun intended) a few items but I’m certain there are some safety measures you might be able to take when improvising for whatever reason. So instead of just giving you a list of 16 items found around the home and whether or not they’re safe to masturbate with, I'm also giving a few pointers on how to make them safe for the curious and kinky.
Of note, each expert varies in their views as to what is considered 'safe' and 'unsafe' based on their niche and so much more. In fact, Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexologist and sexual strategist at Velvet Lips Sex Education points out, “A lot of the things that I would suggest would typically be associated with kink, but anything in general (in the vanilla world), you really just don't want to masturbate with anything that would be harmful to you in any way and that would vary from person-to-person.”
As for the more 'vanilla' side of things, we spoke with WHNP-BC Sexual Health Expert and Pelvic Floor Specialist Jenna Perkins, to provide a brief list of common household items that range from a hard "no" to somewhere in the gray area.
Go for It: Household Items That Can Double As Sex ToysGiphy
- Showerhead (externally);
- Electric toothbrush (externally!);
- Ice to be rubbed externally on the vulva and clitoris;
- Sit on a washer on spin or dryer for vibration and movement (Bonus: add a shoe to the dryer for a more intense sensation);
- Body massager.
Proceed With Caution: Household Items You Should Use a Condom With
- Phallic-shaped foods are used with a condom to avoid bacteria or fungus;
- Brush handle;
- Plastic bottle.
Perkins adds that “anything inserted should be covered with a condom to protect from bacteria. Lube should always be incorporated into penetrative play.” You are able to use the following for lubrication: “Vaseline, coconut, or olive oil applied externally [but keep in mind] oils can degrade condoms and are not recommended for penetration when latex condoms are being used.”
Big No-Go's: Household Items You Should Never Use As Sex ToysGiphy
- Textured items like the bristles on a brush that can scratch or damage tissue;
- Sharp item(s) or item(s) able to poke, like utensils (fork, knife, surprisingly vacuum cleaners, etc);
- Any soft or porous objects (cucumber, zucchini, brush handle) for penetration WITHOUT a condom;
- Lotions and soap that contain fragrances and/or a long list of ingredients.
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Featured image by Getty Images