I'll tell you what, if there was such a thing has high porosity skin (you know, like high porosity hair), I would have it. Whenever this time of year rolls around, it seems that, no matter what I do, my skin can't seem to get enough moisture. I can literally get out of the shower, put on some coconut oil or (my personal favorite) sweet almond oil and, two hours later, I can basically write "dry" on my arm. I did a little research into why cold weather seems to create so much dry skin drama. Apparently, it's due to a combination of humidity levels dropping outside (which causes a lack of moisture in the air) and us turning up our central air indoors (which zaps water from the environment).
Now that I know what some of the main culprits are, I decided that this is gonna be the last year that my skin has me out here lookin' like I don't know what lotion—or my preferred alternative—is. If you can relate and you too want to get your skin feeling super soft right on through Valentine's Day and beyond, here are some all-natural ways to make your skin feel like holiday season velvet (relatively speaking).
1. Get Some Omega-3 into Your System
As women, something that all of us need in our system, on a regular basis, is omega-3 fatty acids. It helps to relieve anxiety; improves eye health; reduces the risk of heart disease; fights inflammation and the risk autoimmune diseases; improves bone and joint health; soothes menstrual pain and yes, it definitely does wonders for our skin. A part of the reason why is because omega-3 fatty acids contain two different acids— docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA). DHA is what keeps our brains working well while EPA provides our skin with the nutrients that it needs in order to regulate oil production while slowing down the aging process.
In order to get omega-3 into your system, you can take a daily supplement. Or, you can eat some salmon, chia seeds, spinach, anchovies or walnuts to get some of it into your body too.
2. Drink Lots of Herbal Tea
Aight. I'm gonna assume that you already know that herbal teas are good for you. Not only do they keep you hydrated but, based on the kind of herbal tea that you consume, it can do wonders for your health as well.
Since we're exploring how to keep your skin super soft this season (and the next), there are some specific teas that you should get. Rooibos tea contains antioxidants, zinc and alpha-hydroxy acids that not only keep your skin looking young, they also trigger collagen production; that can help your skin to appear soft and supple. White tea contains rejuvenating properties to slow down the breakdown of collagen and elastin. Spearmint tea has an anti-androgenic effect that reduces the production of sebum in your system so that your skin is soft without being oily or greasy. If the "softness" that you're looking for is to have an even skin texture due to less pimples or acne scars, chamomile tea has flavonoids and coumarin to reduce flare-ups and lesions. Finally, a multivitamin kind of tea is hibiscus; it's got vitamins A, B1, B2, C, zinc, natural alpha hydroxy acids, omega-3 fatty acids and iron—all of which your skin needs to look and feel its best.
3. Bathe in Warm Water (with Colloidal Oatmeal)
One skin mistake that a lot of us make during the fall and winter seasons is spending way too much time in the shower. Adding to that, we tend to opt for water temperatures that are way too hot. As far as the time limit goes, anything over a 10-15 minute shower (or bath) can start to strip the natural oils out of your skin. On the temperature tip, no matter how good "the hotter the better" may feel, lukewarm is best.
Oh, and if you're going to take a bath, make a point to put some fresh colloidal oatmeal in the water every once in a while. Oatmeal has the ability to seal in moisture while protecting your skin in the process. The properties in this type of oatmeal is also great for relieving itchiness that may stem from dry skin, eczema, psoriasis or dermatitis. You can get some colloidal oatmeal here.
4. DIY an Exfoliant Scrub
OK, so let it sink in for just a moment that every 60 seconds, your body sheds somewhere between 30,000-40,000 skin cells. Y'all, if that ain't enough of a reason to change your bedding at least once a week, what is? This also should inspire you to want to exfoliate your skin on a regular basis too.
Not only does exfoliating help to keep dead skin cells from clogging up your pores, it softens your skin, evens your skin tone, reduces pimples and acne-related scarring, brings upon the appearance of new skin cells and makes it easier for your make-up to be applied.
One way to exfoliate is to dry brush. Another way is to make your own exfoliant scrub. One of my favorite uses brown sugar as its main ingredient. You can learn how to make it by going here.
5. Create a Homemade Hyaluronic Acid Skin Serum
I'm pretty sure you've seen skincare commercials that try and get you to buy a product that contains hyaluronic acid. There is some merit to that because not only is it a type of acid that our bodies naturally produce, it also contains properties that support collagen and elastic production while also leaving your skin feeling really moisturized.
You don't have to run to any store to cop a cream, though. You can actually buy hyaluronic acid on sites like Amazon and then make your own serum at home. You can get some of the acid in powder form here. And, as far as a DIY serum goes, a really easy recipe is located right here.
6. DIY a “Lip Blend”
I don't care how much your skin glows, if your lips are all chapped, it's gonna totally kill your vibe. Since the skin that is on your lips is way more fragile, take the pampering up a notch this time of year. If chapping or feathering is what you're trying to avoid, a little honey mixed with a dab or brown sugar and olive oil will get rid of both. For extra stubborn spots, massage the solution with a damp toothbrush. Something that naturally softens lips is shea butter. You can put some shea butter on before turning in at night or use it as a base underneath your lipstick. If you want to even out the color of your lips, do this. Put two teaspoons of organic coconut oil and four fresh raspberries into a pot on low heat. Mash the berries as the oil liquefies. Take it off of the burner, let the solution cool a bit and then apply it to your lips. After about a week of doing this daily, you should see a more even and brighter-looking lips.
7. Use More Essential Oils than Perfumes
Personally, I can't tell you the last time that I bought a bottle of perfume. For the past 6-7 years or so, I've totally been hooked on essential oils; not just due to their aromatherapy benefits but because their scents tend to last longer too.
Even if you are more of a perfume or cologne kind of gal, this is still the time of year when it's a good idea to add some essential oils to your arsenal. Because they don't have alcohol in them, you won't have to worry about them drying your skin out (like perfume and cologne can); especially if you mix them with a carrier oil like jojoba, grapeseed, sweet almond, avocado or rosehip oil.
8. Turn on a Humidifier
I live in two-level home. Anyone who does knows that can automatically become irritating, heat-wise, during colder months. Why? Because heat rises which means that while it's cooler downstairs, it can almost burn up upstairs, if you're not careful. Then, if you add to that the fact that dry heat is coming out of your vents, it could totally take the moisture out of your skin. One way to remedy that is to keep your thermostat between 68-72 degrees; it's good for your skin and your electricity bills. Another is to invest in a humidifier; that will help to keep moisture in the air as you sleep. If money is tight, you can also fill up a pot of water and place it in front of one of your vents in the bedroom. For the most part, that provides the same effect as a humidifier does.
9. Invest in Some Wool Socks and Cotton Gloves
If you want to keep your feet warm this fall and winter, cotton socks ain't gonna cut it. Go with wool instead; they have a better way of insulating your feet. Also, since our feet and hands (and elbows and knees) are the parts of our body that typically lose moisture the quickest, pamper your feet at night by applying a mixture of carrot seed oil (it's got moisturizing antioxidants) and jasmine oil (it has antibacterial and anti-viral properties) and then putting a pair of wool socks on. It will "trap in the oil" so that your feet will be baby soft by morning. If you want your hands to be silky smooth too, do the same for them while you're watching your favorite television show. You'll be thrilled by how deeply the oils penetrate after about an hour or so.
10. Apply Some Frankincense and Myrrh
I know, right? Could it be more fitting that another all-natural way to keep your skin feeling great is to pick up some frankincense and myrrh oil? Not only does this sweet 'n spicy combo relieve stress and anxiety, contain analgesic and anti-inflammatory properties to bring about pain relief, act as a respiratory aid and promote sound sleep—frankincense and myrrh is also really good to your skin too. It nourishes your skin, evens out your skin tone, and has even been known to heal eczema flare-ups. No wonder the three wise men brought it as a gift to Christ. And could there be a better endorsement for a product than that…weeks out from Christmas? Exactly.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (firstname.lastname@example.org) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Amber Riley Is In Her Element
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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Summer Walker's 'Caresha Please' Interview Shows Why Yung Miami Is The Ultimate Girl's Girl
As one-half of the City Girls, Yung Miami (born Caresha Brownlee) has always used her voice to empower women, whether it’s telling them to boss up or leave a relationship that’s no longer serving them. And with her Revolt podcast, “Caresha Please,” Miami continues to uplift other women but in a more intimate setting.
The “Act Up” rapper’s latest interview with Summer Walker proves that she not only raps about it but she practices what she preaches. The interview covered everything from the “Unloyal” singer’s dating life to being a mother to her music career. When the conversation shifted to Summer’s anxiety, Miami used the moment to praise the Billboard music award winner’s qualities and talent.
Summer has been vocal about her anxiety in the past and explained that it sometimes affects her when she’s performing. While talking to Miami, she also shared that she struggles with being herself in public because she fears being judged.
“They be judging ratchet b--hes, like they really be judging ratchet b--hes,” the “Pull Up” singer said. “People be like, ‘oh, she look dirty, she look dusty, she’s ghetto, like dadada…so I be tryna just keep it together, and then I know it’s also hard for people to like understand the concept of multifaceted people like people that have different sides of them, like it’s not just one way, and it be confusing people, and they be like, ‘well, how she sing about this but she act like this.”
Summer continued by saying that that’s why she is generally quiet on stage because she doesn’t want to say anything “stupid.”
Miami quickly chimed in to let Summer know that it’s okay to be herself, and that’s why people love her. “Anybody that knows me know like I’m a big Summer Walker fan, and I feel like when it comes to R&B artists, we don’t have a R&B artist that’s showing their personality or showing a different side,” she said.
“When we see R&B artists, we just see like their music and just the reserved them, so I kinda feel like to have a new R&B artist that’s ratchet, that’s themselves, that’s what we need. That’s what’s missing, and that’s what make you, you, and that’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with you because when I found out who Summer Walker was, it was “Girls Need Love,” and then I remember, I saw like a twerking video of you on the pole, and I’m like, ‘I love this b--h.’”
She continued, “Like I never saw that from a R&B singer, and I feel like from one artist to another, I don’t feel like you should bury your personality or not be true to yourself because of perspective.” The “Jobs” artist ended her response by saying that people love others who are authentic.
Summer admitted that everything Miami said was true and that she never thought of it like that. “People just be in their head for no reason,” she said.
We love seeing women give other women their flowers and provide safe spaces. At the end of the interview, both Summer and Miami expressed how much they like each other and how they should hang out more.
Miami’s interview with Summer is the true definition of sisterhood.
Summer Walker Talks Realizing Her Self-Worth, London On Da Track, Lil Meech & More | Caresha Pleasewww.youtube.com
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