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8 Affirmations That Remind Us To Slow Down
I'm so here for what many are calling a "women empowerment movement." We are conquering and taking over the world (as we've been doing for centuries) and achieving monumental success in so many ways. We are mothers, wives, sisters, friends, daughters, and caretakers. We are professionals, teachers, doctors, lawyers, leaders, artists, writers, entrepreneurs, activists, coders, CEOs, and everything in between.
As easy as it is to list our titles and accomplishments, I've noticed at times how difficult it is for us, as Black women, to admit when we're tired or worn out from everything that we're doing. We're making a lot of things work so we can do it all and have it all, but are we carving out enough time to slow down and rest when we need to?
If you're like me, and at times, you find yourself feeling a bit overwhelmed, or feeling as if you're doing the most or putting too much pressure on yourself, here are some affirmations to remind you, as well as myself, to slow down and give yourself some grace.
8 Affirmations For Slowing Down
1."My peace is more important than having a packed schedule."
You never have to chase or force what's meant to be. "Your gifts will make room for you (Proverbs 18:16)." There's a difference between being strategic and desperately seeking opportunities. The most authentic relationships, connections, careers, and opportunities usually happen by choice, not force. Hence, you don't have to beg people for an opportunity and you don't have to always be on the scene at every event trying to force something to happen.
When we stretch ourselves too thin, we end up sharing a piece of ourselves with too many people, and then we wonder why we don't have peace in our lives.
2."It’s okay to ask for help."
Whatever "help" looks like for you, don't be afraid to ask for it when you need it. I've learned firsthand that being the so-called "strong friend" also means being vulnerable and courageous enough to admit when you're not okay. As LeToya Luckett once stated: "God placed angels to create support systems."
3."Rest is required."
Clearly my body can't do it like I used to when I was in my early twenties and when I was in college. Some people say "I'll sleep when I'm dead," but clearly someone missed the memo that sleep and rest is essential to our health. Listen to your body. Rest, reset, and refresh when you need to.
4."I can’t be everything to everyone."
If I'm not good to myself, then I won't be good to anyone else. Sometimes you have to take a step back and ask, "If I'm pouring everything into everyone else, then who is pouring into me?" You can't pour from an empty cup, and like they say, "Self-care is the best care."
5."My husband is my helpmate, so I will let him help me."
I once heard a bride-to-be (@caranellbell via @yvonneorji) state in her wedding vows: "My greatest blessing in this life is to finally be able to take off my superwoman cape and let you carry it…" In other words, I like being an independent woman, but I also love being able to depend on my man.
It really hit home for me as well when Erica Campbell once shared at the Black Love Summit how she felt after having her first child. "I was so nervous and overwhelmed about everything and trying to figure it out. Warryn wanted to help but I didn't always allow him to. My mother had to remind me that if you try to do everything, then your husband won't be able to do anything to help you."
Simply put, stop trying to be a superwoman all the time and let your man be your Superman. Let him help you.
6."I’m only human. I will not put unnecessary pressure on myself."
I remember when I first got married, I put so much pressure on myself to be a "perfect wife." When I told my husband, he was so confused because he never asked or put that pressure on me, nor did he expect me to be perfect. Turns out, I had put all of this pressure on myself because that's what I thought I was supposed to do.
Despite the #RelationshipGoals, #FitGoals, #WifeyGoals, #CareerGoals, and #MomGoals…there is no such thing as a perfect wife, perfect body, perfect mother, perfect girlfriend, or a perfect friend. Moreover, there's a difference between inspiration and imitation. So, what may work for someone else, their relationship, or their lifestyle, may not work for you. You have to do what works for you.
Tell yourself: If I want to truly receive what God has for me, then I have to embrace my authenticity.
7."My 'no' can be powerful and polite at the same time."
I used to struggle with saying the word "no", but then I'd wonder why I felt so drained and so overwhelmed with anxiety; why I was doing things that I dreaded or didn't enjoy; why I was supporting so many people who weren't willing to do the same for me; or why I found myself surrounded by people who drained my energy.
Now, I realize how liberating it is to say things like, "No, I don't have time. No, I don't want to do it. No, we can't hang out. No, we can't be friends. No, unfortunately, I can't make it." Sometimes, a "no" to everyone else is a "yes" to yourself…and that's more than okay. It's necessary.
8."My timeline is not everyone else’s timeline."
People love to constantly quote: "We all have the same 24 hours in a day" to justify why we should be doing more of whatever. However, I loved when Kiah McBride tweeted: "You don't have the same 24 hours as XYZ celebrity. XYZ celebrity has a team, assistants, chefs, trainers, etc. at their fingertips. They're not doing everything alone or by themselves, so they have more time to focus on their primary tasks."
Even the mere fact that I'm a woman who doesn't have kids is another example of how my 24 hours are drastically different from a woman who has children.
Nothing happens overnight. Don't let Instagram trick you into thinking you're going to have insta-success, an insta-bae, or an insta-career or -business. Things take time, and we're not always privy to the sacrifices that come before the success, or the growth that comes before the glow-up.
Trust the process, and trust the timing and the fact that what is meant to be will happen when it's meant to be.
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images
Originally published on August 25, 2019
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Tubi has been gaining popularity due to its free sign-up and a vast selection of series and films. According to Deadline, the FAST (free ad-streaming television) service has seen a 14.7% growth from May and now has similar numbers to Disney+. So while many people have joked about Tubi having low-budget movies, the numbers don't lie.
In fact, I was one of those people who didn't get the appeal of Tubi, but the more I watched it, the more I enjoyed the content. They have some of our favorite TV series, such as Scandal and Star, as well as big films like the Fast and Furious franchise and cult classic Love & Basketball.
Tubi even has its own original movies and series that are just as entertaining. But while Tubi is on the come up, some of the low-budget movies and hood movies are still a must-watch. From Tubi originals to the hood movies, we've put together a list of shows and movies to add to your watchlist.
Cinnamon
Cinnamon is an original Tubi movie that stars Hailey Kilgore (Juke from Power Book III: Raising Kanan), Damon Wayans, and Pam Grier. It's a love story gone awry after a robbery turns deadly, and a young couple faces many challenges to make it out alive.
The Dirty D
The Dirty D is one of the first things I watched on Tubi, as many people highly recommended it. It's a series set in a Detroit club, and it has all the drama you can think of. Murder, drug dealing, cheating, greed, and more.
Black Men Don't Cheat
In this film, a young woman grapples with the death of her husband while also discovering his secret life, which puts her in danger.
Mother May I
This movie fully captivates the overbearing mother. However, the ending will shock you as she goes a little too far.
The Stepdaughter
When a young girl moves in with her dad and his new wife, a series of unfortunate events occurs. This Tubi original will keep your attention with every turn.
These Men For Everybody
These Men For Everybody is a film that highlights the tangled web of friendships and relationships and how you can't trust anybody.
Best Friend
What happens when your best friend is obsessed with you? This movie, which stars Serayah and Marques Houston, answers this very question and takes us on a ride in the process.
What's Done After Dark
What's Done After Dark shows us that everything isn't always what it seems. The twist at the end is a real doozy.
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