A Moment Of Honesty: I'm Tired.
2020 was supposed to be my year. I turn 30, and like many, I had a lot of goals to accomplish before the big day.
My personal and professional goals felt attainable, like I could master the art of adulting. After years of unemployment and experiencing under-employment, I had finally advanced into a meaningful career. I went from driving Uber and Lyft, putting thousands of miles on my car, to managing the global social media channels for an international development company. As a mom of one, I prided myself on my ability to pivot and use every opportunity to advance my skills and grow my network. Anything that I focused on materialized in the physical world.
I understood that it was not enough to write my visions down - I had to take action. For every job rejection, moments of losing hope, and tears in the shower, I continued to move forward. My conversations with God were my saving grace, offering me refuge when I got in my way. Then the pandemic happened, and my anxiety settled in. What would become of this year? Would I make it through gainfully employed? More importantly, alive and well? I wasn't prepared for this change. I'm tired.
I'm tired of fighting an uphill battle. I'm tired of being the primary caregiver. I'm tired of always trying to be the best version of myself. I'm tired of homeschooling. I'm tired of the news. I'm tired of hearing about death. I'm tired of reports predicting when the quarantine is over. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough. I'm tired, period.
I'm not OK, but I'll be all right. The more I'm truthful I am with myself, the easier it is for me to heal.
Many of us have been conditioned to avoid our emotions. Sugarcoating our emotions only promotes avoidance and denial; this does nothing to help us resolve those feelings. Emotional stress, like that from blocked emotions, has not only been linked to mental illness but also physical problems like heart disease, intestinal problems, headaches, insomnia and autoimmune disorders. When we take ownership of our emotions, we strengthen our ability to respond to them, wisely and effectively. By not doing so, we leave ourselves open to imploding under pressure. When we treat all of our emotions with compassion, then we give ourselves grace; this gives us the kindness we often deserve.
As a life coach, I find writing down my feelings helpful. 1) It allows me to understand them more clearly. 2) It helps me get the thoughts out of my head. These actions can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health. When processing how you feel, start from within to make sure you're OK. If you're not, that's fine too. Pay homage to your feelings and then release them. If you're tired, like I am, try the following affirmations to lift your spirits:
- I am on the path of expansion, always learning. I respect the process even when I do not understand it.
- I let go of defensiveness and choose to fill my world with joy and kindness instead.
- I am letting go of all my worries and fears.
- I am supported and loved during this process.
- I am willing to be easy on myself.
- I deserve a peaceful and loving life.
- I know that peace is possible.
- I am healthy, happy and radiant.
- Peaceful energy is radiating out from around me.
- Today I choose joy.
The truth is, we don't know when this pandemic will end; this could be our new normal. While I'm sad this may not be the year that I planned, I know bigger and better things are on the way. What we do know is that we'll be more resilient than ever. Globally, we've already adapted the way we move, work, and play. Instead of focusing on what we lack from being outdoors, let's put the focus on healing ourselves. We must do whatever we need to do to thrive.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Ayana Iman is a certified life coach, professional speaker, and mama of one based in New Jersey. She's also known for her love of big hair, travel, and cooking. Find her across social @AyanaIman.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Tyler James Williams Explains Why His And Quinta Brunson 'Abbott Elementary' Characters Should Remain Friends
While Abbott Elementary fans are hoping that Janine and Gregory end up together, the show’s star has another take. Tyler James Williams plays Gregory on the Emmy award-winning sitcom, and he recently stopped by The Jennifer Hudson Show to share his point of view on his storyline with Janine, which Quinta Brunson plays.
“I hate to say it. I know that everybody’s always mad at me for this. I don’t necessarily want to see them together,” he revealed. “It’s partially an actor’s choice, but also somebody who, like, I read a lot of scripts all the time. I watch a lot of TV, a lot of film. I don’t think that we see displays of platonic love between two people often. I think it’s really easy to go right to they have feelings for each other, therefore they should be together. I like this dynamic of exploring withholding that and just actively loving each other where they are. That I like to see more.”
If you recall, they were co-workers who became friends but were secretly crushing on each other. They’ve had many awkward run-ins during and after school, like the unforgettable club scene where they were dancing nervously with each other in season one, and in season two, they finally kiss. However, it only made things even more awkward, and they decided to just be friends. Tyler further explained why he thinks it’s important to showcase that type of relationship on screen.
“I think it’s time for that. I think TV allows people to see things that could be their lives for the first time, and I think seeing a healthy friendship that is deeply caring about one another in a work atmosphere needs to be shown more than the relationship,” he concluded.
Abbott Elementary comes on every Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.
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Feature image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images