
Throughout the better part of my life, I've heard the saying: “Ask and ye shall receive."
The idea that whatever we desire is just waiting for us to claim it through the words out of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts has been a welcome companion in good and bad times alike. However, like most simple steps, it was the hardest one to commit to—the total reliance on faith, God, and energy. So, I first took my semi-commitment to social media because, as we all know by this point, social media is where we go to say the things that our close friends are tired of hearing.
I started to be upfront with the “world" about my desires with hopes that the Universe would respond to me and let me know I was on the right track. So I'd tweet this:
I half-believed it and half-expected it to happen about five to ten years from now.
Fast forward three years and I am here: a working actress, a writer, well-traveled, and a boyfriend who—you guessed it—loves loves art and hip-hop. We're holding off on the kids for a while, but I have it; I have what I asked for. Now what? Oftentimes, we arrive at our proverbial destination and have no idea what to do in order to keep climbing. We either become workhorses who have no time to enjoy the blessings we prayed for or we become complacent and forget that our dreams must be fed consistently.
So here are seven answers to the question, “Now what?"
1.Get Specific
Now that you've laid the foundation, it's time to build on it. Generalizing your dreams is not enough. You want to write a book? What kind? Do you want it to be a NYT bestseller? You want to own a business? Where? For how long? Do you want to be on the cover of Forbes when it's all said and done? Details will save you energy in the long run because you'll know what to focus on every step of the way. Distractions and wasted time are like poison for dreamers.
2.Be Bold

This is not the time to be bashful. You fought to be here, don't make light of your journey, and don't be afraid to share what you've learned. This also applies to tip one, ask God for exactly what you want. He knows your heart anyway, so why hold back for fear that you won't get it? Courage is such a huge part of success!
3.Stop Comparing
If you're worried about competing with the person next to you, you'll have less time to build your own empire. And trust me, they're just as concerned about tomorrow as you are. That's human nature. Your dreams, your story, your cornbread…it's yours. No one can take it from you. And the opposite is true: you cannot receive another person's blessings. If they have it, it's theirs, and it wouldn't fit you anyway.
4.Take Away the Ceiling

One of my favorite teachers would tell us to never aim for an A because, "Once you get that A, you'll feel like there's nothing left to learn." If you tell yourself that there is a goal you want to reach and make that goal the ceiling for your dreams—you'll miss out on your ability to keep growing.
5.Make a New List of Goals
This may seem like an obvious step, but I'm always shocked by how many people never think to keep dreaming bigger. Chances are, if you're traveling, researching, meeting new people, and learning all there is to know about your particular field, you'll discover new talents—use them.
6.Sleep

Listen, nothing will feed your dreams better than a well-rested mind. Don't believe the "they sleep, we grind" narrative; running your body into the ground in the name of your dreams won't get you there any quicker. What it will do is slow down your progress. Sleep deprivation directly affects your central nervous system, aka the place where your ideas come from.
7.Live
No, really. You must find time to live. Take some risks. Break some ties. Form some new relationships. Read some books. Spend one too many hours on Tumblr. Go to a museum. Post that selfie you were going to post, but then thought it was too much. Do absolutely nothing for an entire day. Whatever makes you feel alive, do it. Do not become so stifled by success that taking a step away from your work riddles you with fear of being left behind. This is very important for all of you creatives out there—the best thing you can do for your art is to be a well-rounded person with life experiences.
Cut yourself some slack. Enjoy what you have right now and keep going!
Featured image by Getty Images
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This article is in partnership with Lexus.
Luxury is often defined by someone else’s standards. But what if the finer things in life looked different through the lens of those crafting and shaping Black culture?
In Redefining Excellence, a two-episode short-form video series presented by Will Packer Media in collaboration with Lexus, we dare to broaden how we think about luxury. Here, it’s not just about the price tag. Luxury is a practice.
At its core, Redefining Excellence is a celebration of intention woven into every detail of how we live: our joy, our spaces, our craft, but also our rituals of care. These are the Black creators who not only give the best to themselves in what they build, but also pay it forward to the communities around them.
Through their vision, they embody the same precision and artistry that Lexus embraces when in pursuit of a higher standard, the Standard of Amazing.
In Episode 1, “Ingredients of Success,” the series follows chef, restaurateur, and Lexus Culinary Master Kwame Onwuachi, whose artistry is imbued with rich cultural storytelling. We see him wander purposefully through a garden, gently testing the ripeness of fresh fruits and vegetables. “Luxury isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about being intentional with your choices and craft,” he says.
The article continues after the video.
“Now, because of my work and the ingredients I use, luxury means something different. I am boldly setting a new standard of amazing and innovation.”
As he chops vegetables, plates vibrant dishes, and loads the finished product into the sleek Lexus LC Convertible, he continues, “For me, luxury means ingredients that carry memory… dining experiences and locations that honor the stories that raised me and feel like us.”
In Episode 2, “The Texture of Luxury,” the lens turns to founder and CEO of CurlyCon LA Ava Pearl, whose ingredients take a different form. As the trunk of her Lexus LX 700h lifts, she says, “When I think of luxury, it isn’t expensive, it’s expansive.” The scene shifts, and we watch Ava lay down a bouquet of fresh flowers upon entering her home before using aloe vera leaves to prepare gel by hand.
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“When I was younger, I thought luxury was something you bought. Now I know it’s about living up to a higher standard… Black women have always defined what’s next, setting the standard for beauty, luxury, and excellence.”
Like Kwame, she builds with intention, pouring care into the details, believing, like Lexus, that “luxury isn’t just a finish, it’s a standard. One that’s built to amaze.”
Through these stories, Redefining Excellence serves as a reminder that the journey is not just about the destination, but also the ingredients you choose along the way.
Watch both episodes now and learn more about how Kwame and Ava set their own standard of amazing.
Featured image by xoNecole/Will Packer Media
Cree Summer Opens Up About Her Sex Evolution: From Performance To Presence
Cree Summer is considered by many to be the voice of our generation. Beyond her iconic turn as Freddie Brooks on the cultural staple A Different World, she's managed to breathe life into countless animated characters throughout the decades, adding soul and technicolor to our collective Black girl childhoods.
These days, the decorated entertainer has been using that same voice to speak openly about intimacy and reminding us that our sexuality only grows richer with age.
On a recent episode of the rewatch podcast, ReLiving Single, hosted by former series co-stars Erika Alexander and Kim Coles, Cree got candid about how her relationship with sex has evolved in recent years. And according to the Ironheart actress, the sex has never been better.
Cree Summer On Her Sexual Evolution
"I'm having better sex now than I've ever had in my life," she said on the podcast. "I think I enjoyed sex when I was younger but it was performative many times. Something had to get me loose or to set me free. And at this age, everything is where it is...I breastfed two babies. And I've been through some shit, and nothing--it doesn't look like it used to, but it feels better because I don't have the ability to put on a performance.
"I don't have the ability to pretend. You get the honor to be alive for this long. Who the fuck wants to do all that?"
Menopause As A Turning Point
When Kim asked what flipped that switch for her, Cree shouted out menopause as the real MVP in her sexual evolution. "Honestly it's going to sound crazy. I think it was when I went into menopause because my body became out of my control... When your body starts behaving in a way that you have no control over then you don't have that 20-year-old control where it's like, 'Oh I'm going to pose like this,' and 'I'm going to moan like this.' And it's all just a 'Hollywood handjob' in the end.
"But now I think it's just delighting in how present I am... I feel like I want to try all kinds of things and I'm becoming less shy. I used to be quite shy."
This isn't the first time the 56-year-old has talked about the liberation that comes with sex after menopause. In her appearance on Shannon Boodram's podcast Lovers By Shan earlier this year, she also reflected on how her relationship with intimacy has deepened with age. "Now in my 50s, I just don't care anymore. I'm feeling things I've never felt before and trying things I've never felt before," she shared with Shannon in the April 29 episode.
Intimacy Beyond Performance
"There's a freedom now that I never had, not even in my 40s." She even revealed some of her newly discovered turn-ons like taking things slow, maintaining eye contact, and in her words, "I like to be choked a little bit."
Hearing her speak so openly and lovingly about how menopause has "freed" her sexually offers a reframe we don't hear often enough.
Because in a world where hot flashes and vaginal dryness are often the loudest parts of the menopause narrative, Cree's POV is as refreshing as it is potent in reminding us that this chapter doesn't have to be an end for pleasure and feeling good in our bodies. For many women, it can also be an awakening to parts of yourself you didn't know were waiting to be explored.
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