
How I Risked It All And Moved To Atlanta 3 Times To Jump Start My Career As An Actress

Whenever I share my story I always tell people that taking a leap of faith is not easy, but it's worth it.
I started my journey when I was about 20-years-old. Growing up I always knew in my heart that I wanted to be a star and to be in the entertainment industry. I've always been passionate about modeling and acting, and I was willing to take whatever risks necessary to make my dream happen.
Right before I turned 21, I left my hometown of Milwaukee, WI for the first time and went to Atlanta to attend a two-day acting workshop taught by celebrity actress Tasha Smith. I had the opportunity to speak with her after writing her on Twitter back in August 2012, and she told me that Atlanta was one of the best places for me to be at that time due to it being one of the top filmmaking cities in the country. So instead of returning home, I decided to stay with my cousin and her boyfriend. I didn't know anything about the city, nor did I know anyone who lived there. I didn't have a car and I was unfamiliar with the public transportation system, but I continued to be brave and walked into the unfamiliar. However, I couldn't get a job and was running out of money, and after a month or two of living with my cousin and her intimidating boyfriend, I left and went back to Milwaukee to come up with a different plan to get back to Atlanta in hopes of furthering my career.
After about a year, I saved up some money and made my second attempt at relocating. I worked two, sometimes three, retail jobs in the mall, and I saved my tax return, so before the year was up I left again! Again my money ran low and I couldn't find a decent paying job, and I was tired of living with people and not having my own, so once again I headed back to my hometown, only this time I had no idea how I was going to attempt this again.
Feeling hurt, defeated, and embarrassed I found myself back in the city I hated and desperately wanted to get out of. Milwaukee isn't the kind of place you're proud to say you're from. I've always wanted to get out. I almost had a baby when I was 19, but miscarried three months in. I knew that if I didn't get out I'd either be dead or become a baby mama, which just wasn't in the cards for me.
I remember the day before I miscarried I was working at Red Lobster at the time, and when I went home America's Next Top Model was on. I look up to Tyra Banks so much--she has always been a role model for me. I wanted to be on that show so bad I could taste it. I even tried out a few times. On this day I was watching the show and sitting in bed and tears just started falling down my face, and I prayed and said, “God this is not the life I imagined. I can not handle a baby right now. I really want to live my dreams." The very next day I went in to work and after a few hours into my shift I started feeling sick and was having stomach pains so they let me leave work early. I got home and told my mom I had been spotting, so she drove me to the hospital. They did an ultra sound and I had tests done, but they could not find my baby's heartbeat. About six hours or so later, two doctors walked in to tell my mom and I that the baby didn't make it. That was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with and I went through it without the father of my child, but that was a defining moment for me. I knew that the prayer I said the day before reached Him. It took me about a year to fully come to terms with the loss, but as I grew older I realized God gave me a second chance. He heard my prayer and at that moment I became a woman with a much higher purpose; I wouldn't make that same mistake again.
After returning home for the second time I was mentally drained, but I had a friend who I met on my first attempt to Atlanta at an audition for MTV's My super sweet 21 with LA' Reid's son, Aaron Reid, who was casting models to work his party. She, too, was an aspiring model and actress looking to find her way, and she reminded me so much of myself. From that moment on we became friends. She was the first friend I had made in Atlanta and was a source of encouragement even after I moved back home. She would call me and pray with me over the phone, and one day she told me four words that I will never forget.
“STEP OUT ON FAITH."
With Emmy award-winning casting director Robi Reed
With that in mind I made a third attempt at relocating, and I told myself if it doesn't work this time then it's just not meant to be. I jumped on the Greyhound and took the ride was 22 hour ride back to Atlanta, and the whole way I kept telling myself, “God I trust you." I had a few hundred bucks, no place to stay and no job. How the heck was I going to pull this off?
Once I got to Atlanta, my friend and her mom picked me up from the bus station and we headed to Lenox Mall. I had about 100 resumes printed and ready to go, and by the grace of God I was offered a job that day. After getting settled, months later I signed up with a casting agency who would send me small roles and auditions and some background work since I had never acted before. Over the last four years I have been taking classes, auditing workshops, and trying to stay involved in the industry. My first role I booked was with Vampire Diaries, where I played a waitress in a diner scene. I didn't have any lines, but I was excited about it!
On the set of "Sleepless Night" with Jamie Foxx
Shortly after I was booked for a few episodes of Tyler Perry's The Have and The Have Nots, as well as the film SELMA. I had the pleasure of working with director and producer Ava Duvernay every day for a month. She was so friendly. and although I didn't have a huge role, she made everyone feel equally important to the film and our history.
This past summer I was also blessed to work Jamie Foxx, who was so humble and funny.
I never thought that just from having a mustard seed of faith it would bring me to work with all these amazing directors and actors that I grew up watching my entire life.
Despite all the adversity I faced losing my baby at three months, being evicted from my home due to hard times between auditioning, and having to work jobs that just weren't paying enough to make it on my own, I AM STILL STANDING.
Stepping out on faith changed my life. I've done so many things I am proud of, even things I am scared of with the little that I was given due to those four strong powerful words.
[Tweet "Don't be afraid to trust God with your little, because he can turn your little into a lot!"]
I hope that this will encourage and inspire others to go chase their dreams. You will never save the money you'd like, and it will never be the perfect time, you just have to go for it. It's by far the best thing I have ever done in my life, so start where you are!
Have you ever took a step of faith that paid off? Share below!
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock