Ah, the waiting season - the season in our lives we all may dread in the moment, but when we look back, we can be thankful for the way this season has shaped us. I’m certainly in my waiting season. How do I know? I’ve tried to pursue things on my own, and it either 1) doesn’t meet my expectations or 2) doesn’t even happen. So I’m left to wait. While in this season, I’ve learned there is power in reframing. I now identify this season as my preparation season because, yes, I’m waiting for the next chapter to begin. However, I’m not stagnant - I'm preparing.
Preparing for the best that is yet to come keeps the waiting/ preparation season thrilling yet peaceful. You’re not forcing situations and simply receiving the goodness life has to offer at the divine time it’s supposed to come. While living life to the fullest in my waiting/ preparation season, I continue to do these five things that keep my spark and hope alive for what’s to come next.
5 Things you can do while in your waiting/ preparation season:
Keep your heart fixed on your desire
Whatever you do, don’t lose sight of what you’re believing in and preparing for. Consider this your North Star that may feel so close, but so far. Through the trials you may experience, reflect on how these situations shaped your character. Ask yourself questions like “What did I learn about myself?” “Have I gained new ideals?” “How will what I learn help me get closer to my desire?” I like to meditate and achieve stillness while asking myself these questions to truly hear my heart. In a world where there's so much noise and chatter, it’s important to stay fixed on what you want for yourself.
Strengthen your faith
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This season in your life may come with heightened vulnerability. The important thing to remember is to not let anything break you. It’s necessary to strengthen your faith and believe that what you want is more than capable of manifesting in your life. Strengthen your faith in every way! This can be through hearing other people’s testimonies, watching uplifting content, repeating your affirmations, and/or reading books focused on positivity. My favorites are The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Think and Grow Rich, and The Power of Positive Thinking. Overall, waiting can be hard, but strengthening your faith can make waiting more enjoyable than frustrating.
Reflect on poor choices and character traits
There’s beauty in the waiting season because it allows you to prepare for the best that is yet to come. A key part of preparing is shedding the old to create space to embrace the new. During this time, I encourage you to reflect on poor decisions or choices you’ve made that didn’t reflect the good person you are. We’re all human, and we are bound to make mistakes. That’s not the issue. Once we make a mistake, it’s wise to learn from it and do better. Find quiet time to reflect on decisions you made, get to the root of why you made them, and how you can do better next time. The decision could be as small as eating cookies when you know fruit is the better option and can get you closer to your health goals. The beautiful thing about life is the opportunity to grow, and reflecting on poor choices/ poor character traits are the catalyst to self-growth in your waiting season. Be sure to focus on the areas of life you can control instead of wasting time on the things you can’t.
Spend time with people who bring you joy
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Sometimes, the waiting season may mirror a season of isolation, but it doesn’t have to be lonely. We all need social interactions through every season of our lives, and leaning into our community can provide that. Your dear friends can pray over you and speak words of hope to you. I encourage you to identify those friends and spend quality time with them while in your waiting season.
Fill your days with activities that help you grow as a person
Lastly, spend time doing things that nourish your soul. Activities that allow you to grow and that bring you joy are so crucial. A few activities I recommend getting involved in are therapy, which is a great way to spend your time as you heal and grow, yoga because it allows you to be patient with yourself and find moments of stillness, and journaling is beneficial to document the ebbs and flows you may experience during this season.
Trust me, everything you’re doing is worth it and is working for your greater good. I encourage you to revisit these tips as you live your life to the fullest in your waiting/ preparation season! Whatever you do, don’t give up.
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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