As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where women are given a platform to tell their stories in the first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Arleevia Lyles's story, as told to London Alexaundria.
So we actually visited Morocco last year in September for about eight days for our honeymoon. We were visiting these three different cities, Tangier, Marrakesh, and Chefchaouen, and while we were here, my husband was kind of giggling to himself and was like, what would you say about us possibly moving here? He was joking about it, but I was like, yeah, no, I would definitely move here. And he didn't think that I was serious about it or that I would be on board for that.
But we were kind of toying with the idea of moving here, and so from that point on, when we came back to the US, we were like, you know what, let's actually make the move. Like, why not? We were weighing the pros and cons of moving abroad, and the pros outweighed the cons. We don't have any property in the US. At the time, we didn't have any kids.
We both worked remotely, so there was nothing really keeping us tied to the US in any way outside of family, obviously. That was the only real con. We were going to miss church as well since Morocco is a Muslim country and we're Christian. So those were the two things that were like, okay, we're going to miss it, but, we can operate without it for a while.
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So after we weighed the pros and cons, we started aligning everything in terms of logistics, like booking the flights, talking to our places of employment as well, because I did have to have a conversation with them to make sure that I could work outside of the US, and they were okay with it.
By the time we booked our ticket, we were not pregnant. Then, when we were in the process of moving from Nashville to Las Vegas because we did have to move back to my hometown to drop off some valuable stuff, that was when we found out that we were pregnant.
When we initially told our family that we were going to move abroad, it was like the beginning of 2024. So, one, we knew the election was looming, so we're like, you know what, this may be a good time to go. And our family was in support of it. When we found out that we were pregnant, there was a little bit of hesitancy and some pushback from a few relatives saying, maybe wait a little bit. Just have the baby in the States, and then once the child is one or two, then go abroad and all that stuff.
We were like, 'Hey, y'all, we're gonna still do this,' and so they were still supportive. And now that we're here, they're like, 'Oh yeah, you guys made the right move, for sure,' especially post-election day. We have been here two months [and] oh, man, it has been very relaxing.
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I thought it was going to be a stressful move. I think, in a way, we kind of overthought it. We were like, oh my goodness, I don't know. Our lives are just going to be turned upside down because we're in a different country, but that wasn't the case.
I feel like moving here has been even beneficial for me being pregnant because this country moves at such a slower pace, and there's a lot more leisure time, and they actually value spending time with one another and going slower, but still getting work done. And I think that that's helped me being able to have a stress-free pregnancy, which I value as a Black woman because I know there's a lot of different things that can factor in stress for us.
It's been a very eye-opening experience as well because we're just being exposed to a different culture. It's not entirely different. I don't think it's too much of a culture shock, but with it again, being a very Muslim country, there's different values that they have here, that the US doesn't particularly [such as] valuing family.
You'll see a lot of fathers with their children. In the US, you usually see a mom out with the baby, or the moms out with the kids. Here, it's like the fathers are taking care of the kids. They're playing with them. It's very, very different to see that.
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The food quality has been better to where I don't feel bloated or nauseous all the time after I eat, which has been very, very good for the baby. I'm eating a lot healthier. I don't feel like the food is tainted with all this GMO and all these different things, and also, it's just inexpensive as well.
We have eaten out every single day. We haven't cooked at all since we've moved, but, the food is so good to where I don't feel like I've eaten out. It's quality food, and the dollar has just gone a lot further here. Since we still do have our US jobs, we're earning US money. But for every dollar, there's 10 dirham (Moroccan money). So I feel like even that factor of finance has been stress-free, not thinking about inflation as much.
Overall, though, this experience has been great, and I think even for my husband, too; him working in finance and also having his US job. I think that there's been more balance for the both of us in making sure that we're not overworking ourselves versus in the US. [In the US,] there's kind of the grind culture; the grind don't stop.
But here they're like, no, we want you guys to work, but make sure that you're taking time for leisure. Make sure you're taking time for rest. And so we're doing just that, and I feel like we've both been more balanced in our work-life.
I feel like it's been really easy to get to know people here. We had a couple of people that we met the first time we traveled here during our honeymoon, including my cousin. So we were able to ask them for help or for different insights before we moved from the US here, but since being here, I feel like we've been able to get to know people through frequenting places. There's certain restaurants that we'll go to weekly, and they kind of know us, we know them, we'll chat. So that's been nice.
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I guess an issue is the language barrier because there are four different languages that they speak here. They speak French, Spanish, Arabic, and English. So it's difficult to have a full-on, in-depth dialog with people because they don't speak English that well.
But I think just the friendliness of the environment is still something that we're able to connect to. The lady that we're renting this apartment from, she went out of her way and made a Moroccan couscous, and we're thinking she's just going to bring it, knock on the door, and like, Here you go. Enjoy it in private. But she came in and sat with us and ate a meal with us. Just the warmth of this country and the people in general has just been exceptional, and it's so different than what we've experienced in the US.
[Regarding giving birth,] we were considering having the baby here because, one, it's inexpensive healthcare here. It wouldn't have been as much. It would have been, maybe, a couple of thousand [dollars]. But I have free healthcare in the US, and so my family's like, free is better than having to pay for something. Also, they want to be there to support during that birthing process in the first few months of the baby's life too.
That's our first child, my parents' first grandchild. So I was like, let me have the baby in the US so that we're closer to them, but we definitely considered having the child here. We're gonna go back in early January, and then we'll come back in the summer, around June. After she's had her shots and has her passport and everything, we'll move back here permanently.
For this first leg of the move, it was kind of just exploring the housing market, seeing what apartments looked like; houses, checking out the pricing and everything like that, and kind of just familiarizing ourselves. Hopefully, by the end of this trip, we can have a home to come back to when we do return to Morocco.
We don't necessarily have a set date or a set amount of years that we want to be in Morocco. I do know I don't want to move again for at least three to five years, ideally, because we literally have spent our entire marriage moving. Whether it be from a different apartment or to a new city, and so we kind of want to settle in and have stability, especially for when the baby comes. So ideally, it would be nice to stay here for three to five years.
If we were to move out of Morocco, we would probably move to a different country altogether. But I don't know that we want to necessarily return to the US permanently. Not yet, at least.
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