So, now that the cat is out of the bag...I guess I can finally start talking about all the things I've been through in the last 3+ months. Pregnancy in itself is a blessing, you're bringing new life into this world, starting a family, entering into a new chapter in your life...blah blah blah all the pretty storybook sh-t, right? Right!
But what they DON'T TELL YOUR ASS is all that comes along with that beautiful bundle of joy baking in your oven. But I'll tell y'all and you know I keeps it all the way real! So, for my ladies who are looking to become moms, for those in their first few weeks, for the nosy folks that just wanna know what happens, and for mamas that want a laugh with a little trip down memory lane, I'm gonna walk your through what you can expect, and what's been going down over here!
In no particular order of f-ckery:
1.Breast and Back Acne
Never in my entire life have I ever "struggled" with acne. Of course, in college, I had the typical bump that would appear on my nose or cheek at the perfectly WRONG time and I would be embarrassed beyond belief.
But this pregnancy acne y'all, is no joke and in the most awkward places. I swear I woke up one day covered in bumps, across my shoulders, down my cleavage, up my back. It has since cleared up but for a good month, I felt like a Braille map smh.
2.Automatic Gag Reflexes
So, I know that depending on the person, gag reflexes are just a thing. It can appear when at the dentist and getting work done on back teeth, or even while at the doctor when they are trying to test if you have strep throat...normal things. But NOT when you are just trying to brush your teeth, walk outside, or into a restaurant!
When I tell you it was a legit struggle just to complete normal oral hygiene. I recall a day that I walked outside and could smell the harbor water that is close to my job, and almost tossed my cookies right then and there. Oh, and don't get me started on trying to walk into Chick-Fil-A (which I have not been able to enjoy since I've been pregnant) or Mission BBQ. I literally have to stop once I walk in the door and gather myself.
3.Itching Boobs
You will never know awkward until you are sitting at work, minding your business at your desk and BOOM, out of nowhere not only do your boobs feel like they are on fire, but you MUST scratch them.
I got out of my seat so damn quick and ran to the bathroom, just so I could scratch my boobs in peace. Then, calmly walked back to my seat like nothing ever happened.
4.Hot Flashes
Yup, hot flashes are not just for your 55 and older club anymore.
My AC in my house is set at a constant 68 degrees and I have a fan at my desk, while most people are cranking up their heaters because they claim the office is too cold.
5.Hating Your Partner
This one was honestly the worst for me. The entire first trimester, between feeling sick, uncomfortable, irritable, and downright emotional. I really just didn't want to be bothered by anyone and that included my bae.
By nature, I am a very lovey dovey person and I think my bae had gotten used to that in our time together, so when I all of a sudden stopped hugging, kissing, snuggling, and in general didn't want to be touched, I'm sure it threw him for a loop.
To sum it up, I was annoyed and he was annoying (he's really not though), which was cray because as soon as he would leave, I would want him to come back. Poor boo.
6.Sensitivity To Every Damn Thing
Bring on the tears!
Want to know the craziest thing I cried over so far? Bae made me noodles and the consistency of the sauce wasn't thick enough, so I cried. Moving on.
7.The Brown Tummy Line
To my shock, in the second month of pregnancy, there it was creeping up along my lower abdomen. While it's quite light right now, just seeing it start to appear made me think: Wow...I'm really pregnant.
8.Juicy Cooch
LMAO.
So yeah, due to the increased blood flow and uh, I'm sure a whole bunch of other biological things that are important for the baby, a side effect of being pregnant is an extra juicy cooch. It's a positive for dad if you ever let him touch you in the first trimester, possibly an annoyance for you. I'm sure this all comes in handy in the second trimester when your sex drive goes back up.
9.Huge Areolas
-___-
10. You'll Be Nauseous When You're Hungry
But then you're hungry because you're nauseous. This never-ending cycle has plagued my first few months. My body literally would get to a point where I was SO hungry (because I was not eating due to morning sickness) that it would force me into feeling sick even more! It's dumb, just dumb!
Biggest lesson here is, try to eat ladies, at least something.
11. Your Faves Ain't Your Faves
Y'all... As previously stated, I used to love Chick-Fil-A chicken, like really love. You could pretty much say that we were in a committed relationship.
But ever since baby has been on board (I hate that phrase by the way), I have not been able to eat any type of chicken unless it's cut up in teeny tiny pieces. Even worse, I'm having a super hard time with fried meat in general. So, I've been neglecting my nuggets and can't even stomach the idea of biting into a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. *cries*
What has this world come to?
12. Gas
At any given moment, I am so gassy that it hurts.
I've had to abandon the whole "girls don't fart" thing and bae has been getting courtside seats to every sound and smell. Completely embarrassing. At first, I would run to the other room or wait till he was sleep but at this point, I've given up all hope. Oh, especially when we are in the car because the pain is unbearable -- I do kindly roll down the window and motion my hands in the direction so air will flow out. Sidebar-- if you ever see me with a bump, it's probably just gas right now.
13. Heartburn
I had never had heartburn before, I was not even convinced that I would get it because I had never had it.
WRONG! That ish comes with a vengeance!! Biggest tip, don't eat and lay down. But even still, you may not be able to avoid it.
14. Memory Loss
Ask me any question and I promise you boo, I either won't be able to answer or will have a pretty hard time delivering the answer in a timely fashion.
I can't believe this early on I'm having issues with memory recall. No matter if it's normal conversation or even if I'm just going to type something into Google, I often find my mind completely blank when trying to think of what something is called or what I was about to look up. Sometimes I feel straight up dumb. Hopefully, I don't have to give any presentations at work anytime soon.
Pregnancy is a struggle y'all! I had no clue what to expect when I found out but never in a million years would I have ever thought all theses changes would come so soon.
The craziest thing though is that I'm completely ready for all the other unknown changes to sprout up, because that means I'm getting close to seeing my little one.
In the comments below, let me know if you are expecting or if you're already a momma, did you experience any of these changes? Which ones were your least fave? Did I miss anything you went through? And if you're not a mom yet, let me know yur thoughts on all these crazy changes. Are you ready?
This story was originally published on ThePrettyGirlsGuide.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023