It's Time You Got Your Feelings Validated (More) In Your Relationships
While pretty much everything that I write is able to hit home for me on some level, this is the kind of article that is super personal because I'm someone who spent a lot of years having my feelings totally invalidated. It's a book unto itself, just why that was the case; however, I think the best way to narrow it down is I was a part of a generational curse of people who can totally relate. When you come from abuse—any kind of abuse, even neglect—your feelings have been invalidated. When you state your needs and they go ignored, your feelings are being invalidated. When you believe that you feel one way and someone tries to either manipulate or gaslight you into feeling something else, guess what—your feelings have just been invalidated.
This reality is problematic as all get out because, as you'll see in just a sec, feelings serve a purpose. It's one of the things that makes us human. We really can't process, gain clarity or evolve without them. So, if you happen to be someone who has gotten this far in this write-up and you already feel like you might tear up, please make the time to finish it all the way through. As someone who suffered for many years in this lane, I want to share with you some of what brought me to a place of pure freedom. Yes, in my feelings and in my relationships as it relates to feeling them.
Emotions. The Function of Feelings (in Relationships)
OK. Before we get into how you can get your feelings validated, let's first discuss what the purpose of having feelings actually is, to begin with. As far as feelings go, many therapists say that we all have seven basic feelings—joy, surprise, fear, disgust, anger, contempt, and sadness. Anything other than these is still tied to them on some level. Keeping this in mind, regardless of what we feel at any given time, all of our feelings basically exist in order to 1) protect us; 2) motivate us to make a decision; 3) manage stress; 4) help us to better understand other people, and/or 5) help others to understand us.
So, say for instance that one of your friends hurt your feelings (or pissed you off) because they violated your trust by sharing one of your secrets. Whether you are sad or angry, based on why we have feelings, those emotions transpired in order to protect you and help your friend to better understand you once you state where you are coming from.
Another example. Say that your boo came home with your favorite meal and a dozen roses. If you felt joy and surprise, that may motivate you to do something nice for him up the road. On the other hand, if you felt disgusted, perhaps you're protecting yourself on some level because he has a track record of only doing nice things when he's totally fumbled the ball in some way.
The reason why it's important to understand what our core feelings are and why they exist is so we can get a better grasp on what to do when a particular feeling comes over us instead of just remaining in the space without any real knowledge of how to move forward. Another reason why understanding our own feelings is so essential is because it helps us to recognize when they are being validated—or invalidated. This brings me to the next point.
What Does It Mean to Validate Someone's Feelings?
It's pretty common that when a couple goes to therapy, one of the issues that come up is poor communication. Because this is the case, something that a therapist/counselor/coach will oftentimes do is have one person verbally express a thought and then have the other person repeat back what they heard their partner say. This is an example of validating someone's feelings because validation is all about confirming something and one of my favorite definitions of confirm is "to acknowledge with definite assurance". When someone is validating another person's feelings, they are acknowledging that they definitely get—or are working to get—where the other person is coming from.
One of the biggest problems in a lot of relationships—any kind of relationship too—is people tend to spend more time either trying to get their own feelings validated that they end up ignoring the other person, or they are flippant and dismissive as hell about how someone else is feeling at any given time. Aside from either being disrespected as all get out, when you don't feel validated, how in the world can you even feel safe with that individual? This is why validating feelings is critical to the health and well-being of any relationship. Without it, there will always be some level of profound dysfunction.
Did Your Parents Validate Your Feelings in Your Childhood and Adolescence?
Now that there is some clarity on what it means to have your feelings validated, think back to your own childhood and adolescent years. Did your parents validate your feelings? I'll raise my hand in this class and say that most of my relatives did not. Even with the abuse that I experienced, oftentimes, their denial or ego mania tried to gaslight me into thinking that what happened to me "wasn't so bad" or that my memories were muddled. When you grow up that way, it can cause you to get into relationships with other people who also treat you in the same fashion. After all, your childhood is your foundation.
Without getting too deep into my own past—because you don't have the time and I don't have the energy…trust me—I think a really common example of invalidating a child's feelings is spanking them and then telling them not to cry. WTF? Let someone hit you multiple times and see how you feel. Pain hurts. Crying is a natural response. Telling a child that they cannot feel what they feel is invalidating them. And that is abusive.
So yeah, if you feel like you are currently in a cul-de-sac where either your feelings are constantly overlooked and/or, quite frankly, you don't know how to feel, reflect on when you were a kid and when you were a teenager. Did your parents and the other people around you honor you as an individual by letting you (respectfully) express your feelings? Did they acknowledge them without manipulation or unnecessary judgment? If so, consider yourself blessed. Those are the kind of individuals who end up being very self-aware; they tend to have healthy boundaries in their relationships too. Let's keep going.Do You Express Your Feelings and Your “Big Girl Emotions”, Now?
Some of you may have caught an article that I wrote for the platform a few years back entitled, "What GROWN Women Consider Great Sex To Be". A part of the reason why I wrote it is that, hopefully, as we age, we also mature. So yes, the way that we process sex in our 20s should be very different once we hit our 40s (whether we are married or not). Well, the same thing applies to our emotions. When my almost-two-year-old goddaughter is aggravated, she's gonna cry, yell and/or attempt to throw something. She's not old enough to understand that there are other ways to convey emotions. It's awesome that her parents are mature enough in their own development that they get that because there is nothing worse than seeing a child at a grocery store throwing a temper tantrum as their parents do the same in return. The child and the parent should be responding very differently because one should be way more self-aware than the other.
The same thing applies to how we express our feelings as adults, regardless of the person we're expressing our emotions to. Matter of fact, wisdom teaches that as we continue to evolve, we should definitely know the difference between having feelings and being an overly emotional kind of person.
I'll give you an example. One of my former clients? She used to wear me all the way out because whenever someone disappointed her, she would spend a lot of her time cussing and yelling at me as if I was the source of her disdain. When I would ask her if she shared her feelings with the actual cause of her issue, her answer was either that she acted like nothing was wrong or she simply cut them off (check out "Why I Don't "Cut People Off" Anymore, I Release Them Instead"). As I dug deeper, I realized that she was so emotionally stunted and used to her feelings being disregarded that she didn't even know how to go about getting her feelings validated. She would rather just run through relationships than do the work to establish healthy connections.
This is one example of what it means to be overly emotional. When you don't understand feelings, their purpose, and how to express them in a productive kind of way, you end up being all over the place and oftentimes, ultimately, alone.
How Good Are You at Validating the Feelings of Others?
Something that I am a huge believer in is the importance of "taking inventory" in friendships. The reality is that just like married people grow and change over time, friends do too. That's why it's poor form to assume that needs and expectations will always remain the same. Matter of fact, one of my closest friends and I had a chat about this very thing not too long ago. She semi-recently signed a deal that is going to take a lot more of her time which means we both have to make adjustments in order to still engage one another. We used to talk constantly, so I've had to be intentional about paying close attention when she shares how tired she is or how she needs time to herself. Even when she says that she's fine being on the phone for an hour, I've had to "love her enough" to sense when she's beat and initiate getting off of the phone myself—whether she says she's good with staying on longer or not.
Honestly, 10 years ago, I probably wouldn't even think this deeply. It goes back to my childhood angst because when folks are invalidating your emotions, you don't really care all that much about validating theirs. Yet the more I heal, the more important it is to definitely acknowledge where others are coming from. Trust me, the more you tap into other people's emotional needs, the more inclined they are to return the favor.
5 Steps Towards REQUIRING That Your Feelings Get Validated More Often
I know this was kind of a lot. I do hope that it helped to provide a few ah-ha moments, though, if you happen to be someone who wonders why your feelings don't get validated (acknowledged) as much as they probably should. That said, I think it would be pretty irresponsible of me to break all of this down and not offer up a few tips for how you can start getting your feelings validated in your relationships more often, moving forward.
Step 1: Make sure YOU know how YOU feel first.
It's next level maturity to be able to control yourself enough that when you feel certain emotions (like anger or disgust), you take a moment (or 10) to get a hold on why you feel that way and what that feeling is give you a heads up on. For instance, if your boss has you wanting to throw something straight at their head, why is that? Did they not keep their word? Do you feel taken for granted? Are they dismissive of your requests? Remember that feelings can help to protect us and get people to better understand us. Knowing why you feel what you do and the purpose that it serves can help you to communicate your emotions better.
Step 2: Express your feelings in the way that you would like them to be expressed to you.
I've said it before and I'm sure I will say it a million more times before I transition on—I can't stand to see men or women put their hands on someone. I also think it's ridiculous to hear men or women yelling at each other. Regardless of how you feel at any given time, remember that feelings are to bring about a level of understanding. No one is trying to get what you're saying, sympathize or empathize with you or even make a real connection with you if you are wilin' out here.
It's always important to remember the Golden Rule in the sense that the way that you want someone to express their feelings to you is the way that you should express your feelings to them.
Step 3: REQUIRE that your feelings be validated.
Some people struggle with requiring things of others because they feel like it comes off as being a demand. Shoot, I don't because a requirement is a need and if someone isn't willing to meet your basic needs, why are they in a close proximity when it comes to your life in the first place? Another example. There is someone from my past who constantly reached out whenever they were upset with someone else or, in hindsight, needed their ego stroked. Because I was still wounded from having my own feelings invalidated, I kept rising to the occasion. Yet whenever I would bring to their attention something that they did (or didn't do) that hurt me, they would literally act like I said nothing at all.
I took this for years until one day, I wrote them about the pattern and how I wasn't going to tolerate it anymore. In true "them" fashion, they didn't respond and when I ran into them months later, they acted like I never said anything. "Old Shellie" would've probably cussed them out right there in the mall. "New Shellie" greeted them, had small talk and walked away knowing that they didn't deserve for me to be a close friend to them; casual acquaintances is more than fine. The same thing can apply to you. Your need for folks to acknowledge where you are coming from isn't asking too much. If they are don't want to meet the need, make adjustments in your interaction with them. For your own protection and well-being.
Step 4: Avoid over-indulging your feelings.
You know how sometimes a child will continue to scream until either you give them what they want or they wear themselves out? A lot of adults are the same way. It's a harsh reality but you can't make people do anything that they don't want to do. Once you're in touch with your feelings and the purpose behind them and you share that with someone else, it's up to them to validate you—or not.
If they couldn't, say, care less that you are sad, staying sad changes nothing. All it does it make you feel worse. Be intentional about honoring your emotions and working through them rather than wallowing in them. Again, already being sad and then getting sadder because someone doesn't choose to see you is futile. Besides, you deserve better.
See things for what they are and then move on to my final suggestion.
Step 5: Be solutions-oriented.
You know something else that self-aware people do? They find a way to validate their own feelings while working towards how they can find a solution within them. Folks who lack self-awareness will just stay in their feelings with no plan or goal for shoot…ever, if they can. It took me a long time to break the cycle that I grew up in and was surrounded by. But man, I don't have one relationship now where I am not able to express my feelings and not feel heard/validated. I try and make sure that everyone in my world—personally and professionally—can say the same thing about me. Because when the "problem" of me feeling some type of way comes up, my peeps and I work together to find a solution—even if it's just to understand where I'm coming from.
Bottom line, you have feelings for a purpose and they deserve to be validated. Settle for nothing less, sis. No relationship works, in a healthy way, when you settle. Straight up. I would know.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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These 11 Married Couples Share Their Keys To Long-Term Marital Success
The late actor Audrey Hepburn once said something that I think a lot of married couples who have at least 10 years under their belt will agree with: “If I get married, I want to be very married.” In my mind, this means very committed, very complementary, and very willing to go the distance — otherwise, what’s the point?
Really, what’s the point?
Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
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1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
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4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
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7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
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9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
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Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
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