
What You Need To Know About Shea, Mango, Kokum & Other Body Butters

Nashville's weather is so fickle. Take this week, for instance. Monday, it was in the late 80s, and then Tuesday, the high had the nerve to be in the low 60s. That’s why I try my best to take the advice of one of my late great-grandmothers who used to say that you should dress for the season, not the weather (and won’t that preach?). And so, while I ran a couple of errands on Tuesday, I had on a sweatshirt, some jeans, and a pair of flip-flops (hey, they were comfortable).
Now, I must admit that my feet “told on me a bit” because they were dry dry — which is what traditionally happens to them whenever the weather gets cooler. And since I don’t use lotion and “sealing my skin” with my current favorite oil (plum oil) typically isn’t enough, this is the time of year when I adore body butters the most.
Aside from the fact that body butters are great because they’re extracted from natural things like nuts, seeds, and beans, and because there is no water in them, body butters are also thicker than lotions and other popular body creams. Know what else? Body butters are really good for your skin because they come with all sorts of nutrients (including various vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, proteins, and antioxidants) sans any chemicals.
So, since we’re pretty deep into autumn at this point, if you are looking for a way to keep your skin soft, smooth, hella hydrated, and even glowing, here are 10 different types of butters that can give you exactly what you need — head to toe too.
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1. Shea Butter
Aside from the classic cocoa butter (which I will get to before this is over, for sure), probably the most popular body butter on this list is shea butter. Shea butter is actually a type of “fat” that comes from the nut that hangs off of shea trees (in West Africa).
Because it’s loaded with antioxidants, it contains antifungal properties along with ones that help to boost collagen production; it works well as a natural sunscreen; it helps to fade skin discoloration, stretch marks, and acne marks; it soothes eczema and psoriasis; it reduces the inflammation that is associated with arthritis; it definitely deeply moisturizes your skin, and it even treats dandruff (and reduces hair breakage) — how could you not have at least one tub of shea butter in your possession?
Anyway, because shea butter is so commercialized at this point, if you want to make sure that you are getting the kind that is as raw and unrefined as possible, there are some purchasing tips that you should check out here.
2. Hemp Seed Butter
So, hemp seeds are seeds that literally come from — yep, you guessed it, the Cannabis sativa, which is a hemp plant. That said, if you’re low-key wondering if they can get you high, they only contain an itty-bitty amount of THC, so…probably not. Anyway, hemp butter is good for your skin because the fatty acids in it are known to soothe eczema, reduce overall itchiness and irritation, and, yes, really quench dry skin. And since the properties in hemp seeds can also help to reduce PMS and menopause-related symptoms, you definitely should cop you some.
This particular body butter you can find on sites like Etsyhere. Or, if you’d prefer to make some from scratch, check out this recipehere.
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3. Mango Butter
A type of body butter that I can 1000 percent vouch for is mango butter. This kind of butter is made from mango seeds. Between the antibacterial and antimicrobial along with the antioxidants that it contains, mango butter will help to heal damaged skin cells, and moisturize your skin, and the salicylic acid in it will help to protect your skin from UV rays (which are around whenever the sun is out, regardless of what time of year it is).
Since mango butter is the type of body butter that won’t clog your pores or leave a greasy residue, you can use it even if you’ve got acne-prone skin. As a bonus, if you’re looking for a butter that will also hydrate your hair, mango butter can do that, too, while also serving as an all-natural heat protectant before using a blow dryer or flat iron. Awesome, indeed. Some places to purchase raw mango butter include here, here, and here.
4. Tucuma Butter
Tucuma seeds come from the tucuma palm tree that is in South America. It’s a type of fruit that has a ton of fatty acids in it along with antioxidants. The cool thing about this particular butter is it’s so good in the hydration department that a lot of people use it on their hair in order to smooth their cuticles and reduce frizzing.
And since it’s great for your hair, at the very least, consider applying it to your scalp once a week or even using it on the driest parts of your body (like the heels of your feet, your hands, elbows, and legs) after getting out of the bath or shower in order to properly “seal” your skin. You can get some raw tucuma butter here and here.
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5. Almond Butter
I already know. Some of y’all just read this one and thought it was a typo because, usually when the topic of almond butter comes up, it’s in edible form. Okay, but here’s the thing — did you know that almonds are really good for your skin?One reason is because of all of the magnesium and vitamin E that’s in it.
Another is because it contains properties that can protect your skin from UV damage, environmental pollution, and other things that can cause damage to your skin cells. Another cool thing about almonds is all of the vitamin E in them can help to prevent and/or reduce hyperpigmentation as the linoleic acid in it can help to hydrate, especially the skin of women who are going through perimenopause or are in postmenopausal. Another perk of almonds is they can help to prevent and/or reduce the appearance of stretch marks.
That said, a great (and easy) recipe for this type of body butter is to gohere to make raw almond butter; then add rosewater and some manuka honey (add as much as you want to get the consistency that you’d prefer).Rosewater contains antioxidants, reduces skin irritation, and hydrates. And, as far as manuka honey goes, well, check out “Manuka Honey Is The Ultimate Beauty Find” when you get a chance. It’s just what the title says that it is.
6. Babassu Butter
The babassu palm tree also hails from South America and actually, when it comes to the skin, it’s mostly used in oil form. What it’s best known for is speeding up the healing process of minor cuts and skin wounds as well as reducing the vaginal discharge that is associated with hormonal imbalances. Anyway, the potent amount of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties, as well as all of the fatty acids in babassu oil help to moisturize your skin without leaving any greasy residue.
Something else that’s pretty dope about it is that studies say that babassu oil can leave your skin feeling soft and smooth without leading to any breakouts. There is a word of caution with this one, though. Some health professionals say that there hasn’t been enough research conducted to say that it’s completely safe for pregnant or breastfeeding women to use, so definitely speak with your healthcare provider if you happen to fit into either category.
For everyone else, you can purchase some babassu butter here, or if you’d prefer to go the DIY route, you can get the oil here, and a quick two-ingredient recipe is here.
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7. Cocoa Butter
As I said earlier, cocoa butter is probably the most popular body butter of them all — and with just cause. The saturated/fatty fats in the butter do everything from repairing the barrier of your skin and deeply moisturizing it to improving the elasticity of your skin and smoothing the appearance of scars and stretch marks.
Another thing to keep in mind about cocoa butter is if you happen to struggle with rashes from eczema or dermatitis, it can speed up the healing process of those as well. The vitamin E that’s in cocoa butter can make it a great all-natural lip balm on those cold and windy days, too. Cocoa butter is pretty easy to find. If you want it in its rawest form, though, some places include here and here.
8. Kokum Butter
Kokum comes from the seeds of the fruit of the kokum tree. Thanks to its anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidants, as well as the vitamins B and E, magnesium, and manganese that it contains, kokum is able to treat issues that are related to inflammation from dermatitis. Not only that, but when it’s turned into butter form, kokum is a popular skincare ingredient thanks to its ability to deeply hydrate the skin without clogging your pores in the process. And, since it has so much Vitamin E in it, you can also use it to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, fade scars, and soothe any itching that may come from having really dry skin.
Places like Amazon sell kokum butter in its rawest form. One merchant can be found here.
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9. Coconut Butter
Something that you’ve heard me mention several times throughout this article is fatty acids. The reality is if you want your skin to get and remain in peak condition, it needs those in order to add elasticity, deeply hydrate, speed up the healing process of surface wounds, help to prevent breakouts and slow down the aging process of your skin from top to bottom. Well, something that contains several different types of fatty acids is a coconut.
Aside from the other benefits that I just mentioned, another thing that is bomb about using coconut in the form of body butter is it also has properties that help to keep skin-related infections like athlete’s foot and cellulitis (a pretty serious skin infection that’s caused by bacteria) from becoming a real issue. Another wonderful thing about this fruit is it is an all-natural soother if eczema is something that you happen to deal with. Coconut butter can be purchased in its raw form at places like Amazon here.
10. Sal Seed (Tree) Butter
Yeah, don’t even get me started on the fact that it was hard to find a lot of scientific articles on this last type of butter. SMDH. That’s because, while the West likes to pump medication down our throats, natural approaches to our health are something that isn’t explored and/or shared en masse nearly enough (because it doesn’t make the same kind of money, and yet, I digress). And you know what? All that does is make me want to share uncommon natural things, even more, chile — like Sal seed butter.
A tree in India produces the seed, and it’s great for your skin because it is also rich in fatty acids — the kind that soothes super dry skin, helps to slow down the appearance of aging in your skin, and even brings relief to achy muscles. Matter of fact, after doing some extra digging, I discovered that many cosmetic companies like to use Sal seed as one of their ingredients (well, looka there). If you’d like to give this particular body butter a shot, especially as something to massage yourself with, you can purchase some here, here, or here.
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Okay, so if you clicked on some of the links of the various body butters and thought to yourself, “They don’t have the consistency that I’m looking for,” that’s probably because you’ve got whipped body butter in mind. No problem. After buying the raw butter, all you need is an electric mixer, some of your favorite carrier oils (to make the butter super smooth), essential oils (for fragrance), and a container (with a lid), and you’re good to go.
You can go here for a DIY whipped body butter recipe that you can read or you can check out a YouTube video on how to make your own whipped body butter here. When stored in a cool, dark, dry place, homemade body butter can last anywhere from 3-6 months — if you make some now, that can take you well into late winter/early spring.
So…what are you waiting for? Between the cold weather that’s steadily coming outside and the HVAC unit’s dry heat indoors, your skin needs the TLC of some body butter — and now, you know just the kind to indulge it with. Enjoy!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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As Told To: 'I Spent $10K On A Dating Coach & Now I’m Married To The Love Of My Life'
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Shirley Williams' story as told to Sheriden Chanel.
When I decided to become the CEO of my love life, it cost me over $10K.
Trust, sharing that choice online came with a lot of opinions I didn’t ask for. $10K on a dating coach? Yeah, I did that. And less than two years later, I’m married to the man I prayed for. So if you’re wondering about the ROI... let’s just say it paid off in full.
But before all that, let me take you back to how this journey really began.
When I resolved to walk away from my 13-year relationship, admittedly, I wasn’t thinking about dating at all. My ex was a good man. He was kind, he was cool, but I knew he wasn’t my man. God knew that, too, even before I did.
We had reached a fork in the road: I was growing deeper in my faith, wanting to center God in every part of my life, including my purpose. He was walking a different path, and we were no longer aligned. Turns out, you can spend 13 years with someone and still be emotionally malnourished.
As our relationship came to its end, I learned that longevity isn’t proof of alignment. I learned that a man being “good” isn’t enough. A man can be kind but not called to walk beside you in your purpose. That being unclear about your values will always cost you time.
And delaying your desires in the name of comfort? That’ll cost you even more. I knew I never wanted to make that mistake again.
Still, even knowing it was right to let him go, walking away felt like mourning a death. I dated casually after that: flings and situationships here and there. But they took more than they gave. I was left depleted more than fulfilled, so I made a conscious decision to stop dating altogether.
Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with a brain injury that left her unable to form short-term memories. My sister and I became her caregivers along with my dad. But just as I got her stabilized, my father was diagnosed with blood cancer. At one point, he was bedridden.
So no, I wasn’t thinking about love. I was thinking about survival.
For two years, I didn’t give out my number. Didn’t go on a single date. I was tired, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But not just from dating. From everything.
Those two years weren’t about fear, they were about focus. I was caregiving, grieving, and building a startup from the ground up. I had nothing left to give romantically. So when my birthday came around in September 2023, I knew I needed stillness to replenish what I had lost.
I went to Joshua Tree alone, I booked a tiny home in the middle of the desert, and I told myself: “I’m going to be still.” For five days, I read, prayed, fasted, and listened to jazz and classical music. No distractions.
Courtesy of Shirley Vernae
On the drive back to LAX, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t unsee it: I had invested in every other area of my life, except my love life. I realized then that my love life deserved a strategy, too.
So, I did what I always do when I want to grow in an area: I found someone wiser. I found an expert who could guide me in the form of a dating coach, and I hired him. Because love is too sacred to leave to chance. And I was finally ready to build it on purpose.
To some, hiring a dating coach might’ve looked like desperation. But desperation doesn’t look like pausing for two years, it looks like settling for crumbs and calling it a meal. You’ll mistake attention for affection, and chaos for chemistry. Desperation doesn’t discern. It just consumes.
That wasn’t me. Not only was I not desperate, but I was a little too comfortable being single.
I didn’t invest $10K+ in a dating coach because I was desperate. I invested because I was done repeating old patterns. Strategy is getting honest about your desire and then building a pathway toward it with clarity, with guidance, and with God.
I had invested in every other area of my life, my business, my health, and my growth. Why would my love life be the one place I left to chance?
So no, I wasn’t desperate. I was ready. Ready to stop guessing. Ready to stop wasting time. Ready to become the kind of woman who could receive the kind of love I prayed for.
But before I could become her, I had to face the parts of me still holding on to old beliefs.
When I walked away from that relationship and got into therapy, everything shifted. My therapist helped me unpack my wounds, my conditioning, and the patterns I couldn’t see on my own. And when the fog cleared, I was 100% sure: God had given me this desire. And I was not going to let doubt, distraction, or misalignment steal it from me.
This wasn’t just about having a plan, it was about being in divine alignment.
Between 2023 and now, I’ve invested close to $12,000 in coaching. I joined Anwar White’s Get Your Guy program in October 2023. The program was $7,500 over six months—that’s $1,250 a month, less than some people spend on luxury items they’ll outgrow. And for me? It made perfect sense.
After starting the program, I met my now-husband that December. We became official in spring 2024, and he proposed in January 2025.
But the real shift wasn’t him. It was me. I no longer chased anything—not men, not clients, not friendships. I stopped striving and started trusting. I started existing, and I let what was aligned come to me.
And when he came, he came steady. Consistent. Intentional. Reliable. Joyful. He was deeply committed to my happiness before anything else. He doesn’t move unless it’s with care for my heart.
With him, there is no performance. No eggshells. No pressure. Just alignment.
We walk together, in purpose. I now have a partner who is in service to me, not in competition with me. A partner who lightens my load. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He helps me think. Helps me build. Helps me breathe. He makes my life easier, and that is something I had never experienced before.
I still reinvest in my love life by continuing to work with Anwar. His programs have taken me from dating, to courting, to exclusivity, to engaged, and now to being married. Because each of those phases required a new version of me. Because I had never been here before.
@shirleyvernae I hadn’t been on a single date in 2 years. Met my fiancé last year and got engaged 2 months ago. You’re the CEO of your love life. It’s time to act like it ❤️ # CEO ##Fiancé##Engaged##Relationships##Dating##Engagement
Through Anwar’s program, I was gifted the most pivotal mindset shift of them all:
That love doesn’t have to feel like a struggle. And that’s my new standard.
One of the most powerful things Anwar said to me was, “You can’t do the wrong thing to the right guy.” And that truth set me free.
Before working with him, I thought love had to be proved. Performed. Earned. I thought I had to be perfect. Healed. Small enough to fit into someone else’s version of love. But that was never true.
There are men who are devoted to creating ease in your life. Men who see your softness as strength and your boundaries as beauty.
My now-husband, Ty, is one of them. He is steady. He is consistent. And no matter how much I struggled, no matter how I tried to self-sabotage, he stayed anchored in one mission: to bring ease, to bring peace, to bring safety.
So the shift? I stopped performing. I started discerning. I raised my standards. I stopped doubting. And I let myself be held.
Yeah, the biggest shift was realizing I am worthy of love that doesn’t come with chaos. Love that’s safe. Love that’s solid. Love that’s soft.
That’s what happens when you stop settling and start showing up with faith, clarity, and strategy. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of your love life.
Being the CEO of my love life meant I stopped outsourcing it to luck, fate, or vibes. I no longer left it up to chance or timing, or wishful thinking. Just like I build businesses with vision, strategy, and intentional partnerships, I built a love life that reflects those same values.
A good CEO doesn’t try to do it all alone. A good CEO casts vision, brings the right experts to the table, delegates with wisdom, and trusts the process. That’s exactly how I approached love. I partnered with God. I partnered with mentors. I aligned my actions with my desires. That’s not control, that’s stewardship. And that’s what changed everything.
I knew sharing my journey online was going to stir something up. And it did. Some people were inspired. Some were uncomfortable. But their discomfort wasn’t about me. It was about what my story confronted in them: scarcity, shame, old beliefs about what’s “worth it” and what’s not.
And I’m okay with that. I’m not here to be liked. I’m here to be aligned. That’s my assignment.
To the woman who’s feeling discouraged, let me say this: Time is a tool, don’t let it become your tormentor. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not disqualified. Your desire for love is not shameful, it’s sacred.
Don’t let what society says, what the media projects, or what a non-believer has spoken over you define what’s possible. The only thing that’s true is what God has said. And God has said, “All things are possible to him that believes.”
If you’re feeling stuck, let that be your invitation to do something different. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Get support. Find a coach, a mentor, a couple you admire—not the shiny ones on social media, but the ones who’ve walked through fire and still chose each other.
Date with intention. Choose love on purpose. Marriage is a gift from God, and it is never too late to receive it. There is strength in being seen, supported, and walking in purpose together.
And for my Black women especially, softness is your superpower. Discernment is your birthright. You are the prizeand the picker. Dating with intention isn’t about being aggressive, it’s about being aligned.
We are not desperate. We are divine. Even in your healing, even in your becoming, know this: you can never do the wrong thing to the right guy.
And the right guy? He’ll meet you right there: in your wholeness, and in your work-in-progress.
To keep up with Shirley Vernae Williams and her journey as a storyteller, producer, and love life CEO, follow her on Instagram @shirleyvernae and learn more about her work at williebstudios.com.
Featured image courtesy of Shirley Vernae