If you’re someone who spends even a lil’ bit of time on TikTok (and you’ve got beauty content that shows up in your algorithm), you’ve probably seen at least one video this year that talks about how wonderful batana oil is — and it is.
One of the reasons why I’m so sold on it is — how many times do I have to say that long hair isn’t based on ethnicity? Speed of growth (meaning, whether your hair grows “1/2 or ¼” a month) tends to deal with genetics and the fact that some people’s hair produces more sebum that coats from scalp to tip more than others, that can result in less breakage which can lead to more length retention.
That said, still, whether you’ve got B-type hair or some level of 4, if long locks are what you are after, with some consistent nurturing and patience, you can have exactly what you desire — and batana oil just might be able to help you out…on a few levels.
Since banana oil is also an all-natural oil that can make your skin glow naturally, I wanted to take a moment or two to share with you why the next time you see a post about batana oil, you shouldn’t ignore it; invest in a bottle or jar and see why so many of us adore it just that much.
Batana Oil: What Is It?
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If you were to ask a group of Batana oil users what the oil smells like, most of them would probably say something like smoky coffee. Well, interestingly enough, the oil originates from nuts that come from a certain type of palm tree in Honduras. Although it’s thicker than, say, coconut oil, something that it has in common with it is the fact that it will solidify in cooler temperatures and melt into oil in warmer ones.
Anyway, a part of the reason why batana oil is becoming such a fan favorite within the Black community is because it is thicker and “richer” in its texture, that makes it a wonderful complement for hair textures that are curler or coarser. And since it’s also full of antioxidants, fatty acids, and vitamins A and E, it is something that can both restore and maintain the health of your skin as well as your hair.
And just how is it able to do this?
Batana Oil Benefits for Hair, Skin & More
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Batana Oil Benefits: Deeply Moisturizes Your Skin
One thing that batana oil is able to do is work as an emollient on your skin. What this basically means is it’s the kind of moisturizer that can help to hydrate and even soothe your skin. Another cool thing about emollients is they are automatically able to “seal your skin” with a protective layer of hydration.
So, if like me, you’re someone who likes to apply an oil to your skin after getting out of the bath or shower in order to maintain moisture for a longer period of time, batana oil is one of the best types of oil to apply.
Batana Oil Benefits: Fights Off Free Radicals
If, whenever you read a skincare article, it says something about free radicals and you’re wondering why you should even care about those, probably the quickest explanation that I can give you is they can cause oxidative stress, which can ultimately accelerate the aging process of your skin. So yes, you want to do all that you can to keep them “off of you.” Something that is able to do that? Yep, batana oil.
Because it contains the kind of antioxidants that help to keep UV damage from impacting your skin on a significant level, that is another reason to consider adding it to your skincare beauty regimen. Just make sure that you don’t substitute it for sunscreen. You will definitely need that as well.
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Batana Oil Benefits: Great for Scalp Health
Okay, so one of the things that turned me into a superfan of batana oil is how well it moisturizes my scalp. Dry scalp is something that I deal with pretty often, and since that not only can lead to itchiness and irritation, it can also have my hair looking dry and brittle, I want it to be lubricated on a consistent basis. Batana oil is able to do that, in part, thanks to the carotenoids that are in it.
Carotenoids are pigments that convert to vitamin A. This is great, as far as your scalp is concerned, because it helps your scalp to naturally produce sebum, protects your hair follicles, and ultimately encourages hair growth.
Indeed, a healthy scalp is the foundation for healthy hair (check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.,” “10 Things Your Scalp Has BEEN Waiting For You To Do” and “Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend”).
Batana Oil Benefits: Helps to Prevent Hair Breakage and Reduces Frizz
As I already mentioned, something else that batana oil has in it is vitamin E. That makes it good for your skin because it contains anti-inflammatory properties along with compounds that help to protect and even repair your skin’s cells. As far as your hair goes, vitamin E increases blood circulation to your scalp so that your hair follicles are able to get even more of the nutrients that it needs (in order to improve the quality of your hair strands); plus, vitamin E add shine to your hair.
Also, since vitamin E can literally help to rebuild the structure of your hair too, that’s why many users say that batana oil has caused them to gain more inches as far as lock length is concerned. Oh, and since vitamin E also helps to smooth out hair cuticles (which is the result of hair dryness, too,) that can decrease the amount of frizz that you have, which can reduce breakage while defining your natural curls so much better in the process.
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Batana Oil Benefits: Enhances Dark Hair Color Hues
Although batana oil cannot “dye” your hair (because it doesn’t contain deep pigments or chemicals), if you’re looking for an all-natural way to enhance the appearance of your dark hair, it may be able to do that too. Thanks to the dark tint that batana oil has (which is one way to test the integrity of the oil, by the way), it’s been known to bring about the best in darker hues — which will make the color look even richer thanks to the sheen that it also provides.
Batana Oil Benefits: It's an Excellent “Product Enhancement”
I’m someone who applies the oil to my scalp, straight out of the jar that I purchased it in. However, if you’re someone who wants to “ease into” the batana oil or you simply would like it to complement some of your other skin or hair products, it also works well in that way. Some people use it as an addition to their overnight skin moisturizer, pre-poo treatment on wash days, and/or as an additional ingredient in their leave-in conditioner or their hair mask recipes.
Also, if you’re on a mission to get some length retention, it absolutely cannot hurt to apply a bit of the oil to your ends before turning in at night (since your ends are the oldest parts of your hair).
BONUS: How to Know You’re Getting “Real” Batana Oil
Y’all know how it goes — when something magnificent makes its way onto the scene, there are going to be folks out here who try to scam you with a weak-ass imitation of it. Unfortunately, batana oil is no different. That’s why, I decided to close this out with a video from the YouTube channel Karen of Curl House (who has some pretty solid content, in general). If you watch it all the way to the end, you will get the intel that you know in order to feel confident about purchasing the kind of batana oil that will give you the best results of all. (Oh, and for the record, a Black-owned company that brands itself as selling 100 percent vegan batana oil is located here.)
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There is a lot of stuff to choose from in these beauty-enhancing streets, no doubt about that. However, I can vouch that batana oil will not disappoint. Give it a shot (unless you have a nut allergy; it's made from nuts, after all). Your skin and hair will thank you abundantly, chile.
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Now if you’re married (or planning on getting married) and you’re wondering how often you “should” be sleeping with your partner (check out “Married Folks: Ever Wonder If Your Sex Life Is 'Normal'?”), research says that (at least) once a week (or four times a month because…you know…life) falls into the category of being a “healthy marriage.” Why? Because at least this often shows that you are prioritizing intimacy, quality time, and even pleasure with (and for) your partner.
So, you know what that means, right? If it’s less than this, it could be a telling sign that you’re doing quite the opposite — and y’all, when sex is suffering in a long-term relationship, it’s only a matter of time before other areas do as well…because if there is no intimacy, quality time or pleasure transpiring, does that sound like a happy place for spouses to you?
And although (and oddly), a sexless marriage isn’t blatantly listed as being a formal cause for why couples divorce, the reality is that many folks will end their marriage under the grounds of “irreconcilable differences” when really, what they are saying, is the intimacy is lacking — and they’ve had enough. Case in point: I once read an article that said that out of 18,000 people who were surveyed, 13.5 percent of married people hadn’t had sex in five years or more. FIVE. DAMN. YEARS. Y’all, that’s not thriving or even living in a relationship — that is barely existing.
That said, because things like different sleep schedules, shifts in sex drives, and even boredom or laziness can cause spouses to put sex on the back burner, if you just read all of this and thought, “Yeah, this sounds a lot like my marriage right now” — before you do anything else, read how the following 10 married couples got through their own season(s) of a sexless marriage. It could help you to figure out what needs to be done in order to get your own relationship out of its current sex rut…for the sake of your intimacy needs and your marriage.
*I always use middle names in pieces like these, so that people can speak freely*
1. David and Chrystiana. Married 11 Years.
GiphyDavid: “People like to make this complicated when it’s pretty simple: what you prioritize, you’ll do. The reason why so many single people have a lot of sex isn’t because they don’t have lives and aren’t busy; it’s because they prioritize it. When you’re married, it’s easy to take sex for granted since your partner is in the bed with you every night. Before you know it, a week [of no sex] has turned into three. But just like food, sleep and your favorite streaming show matters to you, you can find a way to make sex happen. My wife and I had to choose to see it this way — then things started to change for the better.”
Chrystiana: “He’s right. When you’re single, especially when you live alone, you plan sex. When you’re married, so many other plans get in the way that you can forget to plan sex. It’s not that you don’t like it, want it, or miss it — it’s just that there is only so much time in the day. Some people frown on a sex schedule; it’s worked great for us. Every Sunday and Wednesday, we have sex, and because it’s on the schedule, the rest of the days give me time to get ready for it, so that it doesn’t just ‘happen’; it’s an event.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, Here's How To Make (More) Time For Sex” and “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day.”
2. Benson and Denyse. Married for 16 Years.
GiphyBenson: “We weren’t each other’s first but we did wait until marriage to have sex with each other. We should’ve talked about sex more before marriage because I assumed that we were on the same page — and we weren’t. [My wife] is very affectionate but she can kind of take or leave sex, so that meant that I had to up the foreplay. It’s not that I wasn’t someone who didn’t ‘warm up the engine’ in the past; it’s just that she needs way more than even 30 minutes, so I’ve come up with creative ways to make that happen. That has made her more interested in intercourse which has made sex more consistent over time. Talk about sex prior to jumping brooms. You and your spouse could end up riding some if you don’t!”
Denyse: “I’ve always been more affectionate than sexual, so I have always liked to cuddle, even naked, more than the act of intercourse. What I had to accept is, when you’re married, it’s not just about your preferences and what you want. I think that’s why a lot of folks don’t go the distance: they are selfish and only care about their own needs. You asked about sex, so I’ll stay focused. If you’re like me and you like sex but you love intimacy outside of sex, tap in with your spouse to see what their needs are. My husband is fine having sex a few times a month and so I make sure that he gets it. Sometimes people are in a sexless marriage because they don’t see what their partner wants and their partner doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up all of the time. That’s fair [for them to feel that way]. You need to initiate sexual conversations.”
Shellie here: Check out “These Tips Will Keep Foreplay From Becoming Boring AF (No Pun Intended)” and “Want Your Man To Be Better In Bed? Give Him A Book.”
3. Nassir and Payten. Married for Seven Years.
GiphyNassir: “My wife will probably tell you that it was shaky at first because sex was something that she would use to get me to do things — or not do them. After a while, I got tired of that and I resorted to masturbation because it was less drama to deal with. You don’t want to be the solution, though, because you can easily look up and it’s been weeks without sex. Whatever is wrong, talk about it. Don’t use sex to hint around about other issues.”
Payten: “I hate to admit it but I’m not alone — my girlfriends tell me so. Back when I was single, I used to use sex as a weapon. Not that I don’t like sex — I like it A LOT. I’m saying that when a man would piss me off, I would withhold sex and when you’re married, it can’t work that way. You can’t expect a man to promise you faithfulness and you turn around and not give him any whenever he doesn’t clean the kitchen. It’s childish but it also creates a wedge. During the first 16 months or so of our marriage, I was being a ‘sex brat’ and it was really causing my husband to resent me. Then we went on a marriage retreat where I learned that weaponizing is what I was doing. Now I’ve learned how to communicate my frustration instead of withholding sex. It corrects the issue quicker and it keeps walls from going up in our relationship.”
Shellie here: Check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why.”
4. Vernon and Evelyn. Married for 20 Years.
GiphyVernon: “I think that every couple goes through a sexless period; the red flag is why that’s happening. Is it due to illness or scheduling or is it because there’s a lack of connection in the marriage. Since we’ve been married, we’ve probably gone without sex at least a dozen times but it’s three or four that I can think of that caused us to go to counseling. That’s my advice: figure out why the two of you aren’t having sex and then seek a professional if you need help getting back on track.”
Evelyn: “People talk about menopause when they need to be talking about perimenopause. The last two years before my period stopped, completely, my hormones were all over the place. The bloating made me not feel very attractive, my vagina wasn’t responding like it used to and for a minute there, I thought my orgasms had completely disappeared. He’s right, see a therapist for the emotional stuff but all women should see their doctor to get their hormone levels checked once they enter their mid-40s.”
Shellie here: Check out "The 'Seasons Of Sex' That Married People Go Through" and “Sex And Menopause. What You Should Know."
5. Christopher and Jenavieve. Married for Nine Years.
GiphyChristopher: “Sex is what keeps you from seeing your spouse as a roommate — and that’s easy to do if you’re not careful. I’ll let [wife’s first name] tell you how long we went without it one time, but it was a long while. We weren’t mad at each other — we just started to act more like best friends and less like lovers. I don’t talk about this a lot but the few people who do know ask if either of us cheated. I mostly watched porn which creates its own issues. Bottom line, your spouse shouldn’t become ‘just a friend.’ Prioritize sex so that never happens. Your marriage is in some serious trouble if you do.”
Jenavieve: “For about three years of our marriage, we basically went without sex. The worst part about it to me is when I brought it up to some of my girlfriends, they acted like it was no big deal due to not having sex with their husbands either and that just made it easier to keep going. Since we weren’t really fighting and there was still some affection, we let it slide longer than we should have. Eventually, he got into pornography and I had an emotional affair — both are no better than [physically] cheating, in my book and both happened because we weren’t having sex. If you’re married, have sex to protect your marriage.”
Shellie here: Check out “5 Signs You're In An Emotional Affair And Don't Even Know It."
6. Paul and Apryl. Married for 11 Years.
GiphyPaul: “I see sexless marriages differently. Even if you’re having sex regularly, if your needs shift or one or both of you aren’t really enjoying it, having sex on a technicality shouldn’t count. There have been a couple of times when we’ve gone sexless because of that. The first time, we didn’t talk about it and that made us both resentful. The second time, my wife brought it up and we talked through it. Never think that what worked on your wedding night or fifth anniversary will work in the moment. People change and sexual needs can too.”
Apryl: “I agree. Does sex count, fully, if body parts come together but no one is really satisfied? After about our seventh year, we started taking sexcations, buying books and listening to podcasts about sex, and, thanks to you, creating bucket lists every year. It can be easy to have a ‘If it worked before, it should work now’ approach to sex when you’re married and that’s what can drive a wedge in between you. Never assume that your partner is satisfied. Ask.”
Shellie here: Check out “8 ‘Kinds Of Sex’ All Married Couples Should Put Into Rotation” and “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!”
7. Davis and Ireland. Married for Four Years.
GiphyDavis: “I don’t know how many men read your articles but some of us have wives whose sex drives we totally underestimated. Sh-t, for the first year or so, I felt damn near emasculated because I thought that my drive was high but [my wife] has me all the way beat! For us, while we’ve never really had what you would say is a ‘sexless marriage’, we did have trouble in our sex life because I wasn’t always in the mood when she was and that was bothering her. I know you say that a sexless marriage is sex that’s only 10 times a year, but I think there’s also the kind where your partner needs more than you are giving. Couples need to find compromise with that. It can cause problems later on too.”
Ireland: “If you are like me and you want sex more than your man does, it’s important to remember that it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with either one of you. Society makes us think that all men think about is sex all of the time and that’s just not true. What I had to learn is he’s the one who needs more foreplay and ‘warming up’; his system calls for it. And, when he’s not in the mood, that doesn’t mean that he’s not attracted to me or doesn’t enjoy sex with me when we do have it. Do talk about those things before marriage, though. It totally threw me for a loop at first because we didn’t.”
Shellie here: Check out “If Your Husband's The One With The Lower Libido, Do This.,” “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?” and “Fast Or Slow Sex: Which Does Science Say Is Better? (Girrrl...).”
8. Frederick and Dannika. Married for Six Years.
GiphyFrederick: “Go to premarital counseling. If your counselor doesn’t spend a good portion of time talking about sex, find another one. I’ll let my wife take it from here.”
Dannika: “We’ve never told anyone that the first year of our marriage, we barely had sex after our wedding night. Even though we weren’t virgins when we got married, we didn’t have sex with each other and because we were so focused on not doing it, we didn’t talk about sex much because we thought that it would tempt us into doing it. That was a huge mistake because we both had totally different expectations. I’m more of the romance/rom-com kind of sex person and he is, I’ll just say more adventurous. It took us about three years to find a way to meet in the middle.”
Shellie here: Check out “Tonight's The Night For A More Romantic Sexual Experience With Your Partner,” “What 5 Men Had To Say About Married Sex” and “10 Wives Tell Me What They Wish They Knew About 'Married Sex.'”
9. Goran and Kaia. Married for 15 Years.
GiphyGoran: “I travel a lot for work — probably around 35 percent of the time. Then when I’m back home, it’s catch-up time with kids and bills and stuff to do around the house. By the time it’s time for bed, all we want to do is go to sleep. The thing that you have to be careful of is, even if you are ‘too busy for sex,’ if you go without it too long and then the urge hits you, that’s when you can put yourself in some vulnerable positions. About five years into our marriage, we set a precedent that we would never go longer than 10 days without sex, no matter what. It’s one of the best decisions that we ever made.”
Kaia: “My husband traveled a lot before we got married, so I knew what I was getting myself into. What I wasn’t prepared for was getting so much into my own groove while he was gone that he damn near was ‘wrecking my flow’ of things whenever he got back. Sometimes, he would want to have sex immediately and I would need a day to get used to him being back in the [house] space. My primary love language is words of affirmation, so sexting was a type of foreplay that helped to get me ready for his arrival. It’s one of my favorite types of foreplay to this day.”
Shellie here. Check out “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” and “Let's Talk About Sext: 30 Sexts You Can Send To Bae Right Now.”
10. Radford and Orla. Married for 26 Years.
GiphyRadford: “I’ve got enough years in my marriage to tell you that if you have sex for the same reasons as a married person that you did as a single person, not only will you go through sexless moments often, you will probably end up divorced. Sex, in marriage, isn’t just about recreation. Sex is a sacred experience that connects you with your spouse in a way like nothing else. I can say this because years ago, we would have months when we would go without sex. It took maturing about it on a mental, emotional and spiritual level to learn that it’s not just about ‘getting off’; sex is about tapping into your spouse and bonding with them in a potent way that way. Look at sex like that and you will do your damnedest not to end up sexless. Your marriage won’t survive it.”
Orla: “If you’ve heard somewhere that sex gets better with time in a marriage, that’s true. If you had sex before getting married, the first few years of your marriage, you can go in with the same surface mindset about it — have sex, get an orgasm, end of story. Go through some things, see that your husband isn’t going anywhere, and the intimacy of sex goes way deeper and is more satisfying. And when you’re grateful for that kind of love, you want to express it with your husband as much as possible.”
Shellie here: Check out “10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important.”
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Author Sheila Wray Gregoire once said, “Sex is not just about me; it’s about me knowing you and building us.” Goodness y’all, if all married couples took this quote literally and seriously, imagine how much less sexless marriages would be an issue.
Are sexless marriages common? Hmph, common enough. Can they be prevented? 8.5 times outta 10, absolutely. These 20 married people provide some wonderful insights into how. I hope you will take their great wisdom to heart — in and out of your bedroom.
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