
Resolving To Kick Your Product Junkie Habit? Here's Your Game Plan For 2024.

You’ve probably heard that the beauty industry is a staggering $90 billion one (that’s annually). However, what you may not know is, reportedly, folks spend close to $750 a year on their products. I mean, based on your own budget, that might not be much to you yet as someone who knows that preparing for retirement is closer now than my college days were at this point, that’s pretty steep to me, especially since I know that, easily half of what I currently have on the skincare and hair care tip, I barely even use.
Me? Aside from the products that I try in order to create content (that’s free stuff and also why I have so much of it), I gave up being a product junkie years ago. It was hard, yet it was also hella liberating. It freed up space. It freed up money. And it helped me to focus on what I know my skin and hair need as opposed to what the industry tries to cram down my throat.
So, why is my mission what it is today? If the beauty world is making billions, of course, they’re gonna try and sell you everything under the sun. Yet if you want to only purchase what will be truly effective for you this year so that you can keep some space and some coins, here are some tips that fully freed me from the bondage of always digging underneath my bathroom sink and knocking stuff over, only to be pissed as I cleaned it up (if ya know, ya know).
1.Learn Your Actual Skin and Hair Texture
The benefit of being in the information age with internet access to boot is there is so much intel that’s readily at your disposal (which is why I don’t get how so many debates about opinions happen on social media when you can just open up a browser and find the facts). The challenge is sometimes there’s so much stuff to learn about that it can become super overwhelming. And honestly, I think that’s how a lot of us end up becoming product junkies in the first place. There’s one influencer on IG who says her skin is bomb due to one product, while someone on TikTok guarantees a totally different product will give you the same outcome.
And don’t even get me started on how many debates naturalistas have on YouTube about what works well on their hair vs. what doesn’t. If you try and take everyone’s opinion into account, you can easily look up and have two cabinets that are filled with stuff that you either don’t use or don’t like. *le sigh*
What’s my suggestion? Well, something that I did that helped me to get some of my cabinet space back was really figuring out what my own skin and hair texture was before making another purchase — and that alone totally changed the game. Because the reality is, someone can say that a particular product gave them flawless skin, yet if their skin type is dry and yours is oily, it could end up doing your own skin more harm than good.
So, what if you have no clue what your skin or hair type actually is? Sites like Skin Type Solutions (quiz is here), Ask the Scientists (quiz is here), and even Sephora (quiz is here) have online tests that you can take as far as your skin goes. YouTubers like Angela C. Styles (here) and Daye La Soul (here) can help you learn more about your hair type and texture. I super appreciate LaToya Ebony Hair’s channel for explaining the difference between 4b and 4c hair (here). Also, Naturally Curly (quiz is here) and Carol’s Daughter (quiz is here) can help you figure out what your hair type and texture are as well.
That way, as you’re moving through a sea of recommendations and suggestions, you can better narrow down what will prove to be the most effective for your hair strands personally. Knowledge is power. This includes when it comes to your skin and hair.
2.Acknowledge That Hair Products Actually Do Expire
Did y’all know that both skin and hair products expire? Yep. When it comes to skin ones, if they’ve got more oil than water in them, they tend to have a longer shelf life; although most skincare experts say that if you’ve got something that didn’t come with an expiration date but you’ve been holding onto it for 2-3 years, it’s time to toss it. As far as your hair goes, if a bottle of, say shampoo or conditioner has been opened, you shouldn’t keep it around for more than 12 months after you first used it.
And what if you’re not sure what to do? A solid rule is to pay attention to if the appearance or texture of a skin or hair product has changed. If that is indeed the case, go ahead and toss it. No sense in keeping something around if it’s not going to be effective — and if it doesn’t look or feel like it did when you first purchased it…chances are, it won’t be.
3.Toss Out What You Don’t Use on a Weekly Basis
Okay, while this rule isn’t 100 percent, I would say that it’s probably around 70 percent accurate. What I mean by that is that there’s a good chance that you don’t wash your hair, like clockwork, every seven days. And so, the main point here is, if something is not in consistent rotation, all it’s really doing is taking up space.
For instance, I’ve got a couple of bottles of braid-out and edge control products that absolutely need to get up and out from underneath my bathroom sink before 2024 because all they do is leave a white residue and a frizz-like hold (I won’t say no names but some products out here charge way too much money for the chaos that they create). Why haven’t I done it? It’s honestly because there is a part of me that thinks that, perhaps if I blend those items with something else, they will be useful.
However, since I haven’t tried that yet and also since other products are serving me just fine, I need to let that “fantasy” go and put them in the trash. Clutter is clutter, no matter what lie I might tell myself. Words to live by, sis. Words to freakin’ live by.
4.Make Sure Products Are Seasonal Not Emotional
Something that some people don’t take into consideration is the fact that your skin and hair oftentimes need different products based on the season that they are in. For instance, since winter is the time when we’re in dry indoor heat quite a bit, it would make sense to use a thicker moisturizer and hair conditioner than in the summer season; that’s what I mean by getting a “seasonal product.”
So, what do I mean by an emotional product? Just like you can have a bad hair day, you can have a “bad product reaction” sometimes. For instance, one of my absolute favorite braid-out creams, sometimes we work seamlessly together — sometimes we don’t. A bit of trial and error has revealed that on the wash days, when I use a heavy protein treatment, the product doesn’t take too well to it (go figure).
Anyway, what I used to do in times past was go out and buy 2-3 other popular braid-out products. Now, I just add a bit more patience in how I apply the one that I have.
Emotions are about feelings. When you want to stop being a product junkie, you’ve got to bring some logic and common sense into play. So yeah, when you’re out here doing your thing on your skin and hair, seasonal shifts in your products make sense; hinging everything on emotion (how you “feel” about your hair at the time) is unnecessary and costly. Literally.
5.Stop “Stress Shopping”
I can’t believe that at my big age, sometimes I will still get random breakouts — and, of course, they happen at the most unexpected and inopportune times. Although I know that oftentimes, like a cold, I just need to let it all run its course…I also know that I’ve got a solid skincare routine, and I just need to leave things be. Still, sometimes the stress of a perfectly (or imperfectly, depending on how you look at it) placed zit will have me out here looking for any and everything that says it will zap it in 24 hours or less.
And that, my friends, is what I call “stress shopping.” Even a pimple patch (which is actually pretty bomb when you want to reduce the swelling of a zit) is not going to make your skin look like a pimple was never there in a day. So, if you’re out here wasting money because you’re looking for a quick fix, accept that 9.5 times out of 10, there is no such thing, and so, all you’re gonna do by purchasing more stuff is spend more money, which now stresses your bank account out — which profits (pun intended) you nothing.
6.Who Cares If It’s Popular. Does It Work? FOR YOU?
And finally, this point right here can apply in so many ways and on so many levels. Thankfully, I’ve never been the kind of person (not as an adult anyway) who really cared to do something because it was “popular” — and it has served me well. Skincare and hair care products are not exempt because — and again, I won’t say no names — I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that I’m crazy for not literally buying into a brand (or product from a brand), I got a test sample and either I was less than impressed, or my scalp or skin got irritated from it.
Personally, some of the best items that have worked for me are homemade products on Etsy’s site. The ingredients are natural, and the prices are fair. That’s just me…what works for me. Just make sure that if you are starting 2024 by promising yourself that you won’t be a product junkie anymore that you will really ponder what works for you and stick with that. It’ll save you time, money, and unnecessary drama. And won’t your skin and hair be thankful for that, chile.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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