
What You Need To Know About Shea, Mango, Kokum & Other Body Butters

Nashville's weather is so fickle. Take this week, for instance. Monday, it was in the late 80s, and then Tuesday, the high had the nerve to be in the low 60s. That’s why I try my best to take the advice of one of my late great-grandmothers who used to say that you should dress for the season, not the weather (and won’t that preach?). And so, while I ran a couple of errands on Tuesday, I had on a sweatshirt, some jeans, and a pair of flip-flops (hey, they were comfortable).
Now, I must admit that my feet “told on me a bit” because they were dry dry — which is what traditionally happens to them whenever the weather gets cooler. And since I don’t use lotion and “sealing my skin” with my current favorite oil (plum oil) typically isn’t enough, this is the time of year when I adore body butters the most.
Aside from the fact that body butters are great because they’re extracted from natural things like nuts, seeds, and beans, and because there is no water in them, body butters are also thicker than lotions and other popular body creams. Know what else? Body butters are really good for your skin because they come with all sorts of nutrients (including various vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, proteins, and antioxidants) sans any chemicals.
So, since we’re pretty deep into autumn at this point, if you are looking for a way to keep your skin soft, smooth, hella hydrated, and even glowing, here are 10 different types of butters that can give you exactly what you need — head to toe too.
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1. Shea Butter
Aside from the classic cocoa butter (which I will get to before this is over, for sure), probably the most popular body butter on this list is shea butter. Shea butter is actually a type of “fat” that comes from the nut that hangs off of shea trees (in West Africa).
Because it’s loaded with antioxidants, it contains antifungal properties along with ones that help to boost collagen production; it works well as a natural sunscreen; it helps to fade skin discoloration, stretch marks, and acne marks; it soothes eczema and psoriasis; it reduces the inflammation that is associated with arthritis; it definitely deeply moisturizes your skin, and it even treats dandruff (and reduces hair breakage) — how could you not have at least one tub of shea butter in your possession?
Anyway, because shea butter is so commercialized at this point, if you want to make sure that you are getting the kind that is as raw and unrefined as possible, there are some purchasing tips that you should check out here.
2. Hemp Seed Butter
So, hemp seeds are seeds that literally come from — yep, you guessed it, the Cannabis sativa, which is a hemp plant. That said, if you’re low-key wondering if they can get you high, they only contain an itty-bitty amount of THC, so…probably not. Anyway, hemp butter is good for your skin because the fatty acids in it are known to soothe eczema, reduce overall itchiness and irritation, and, yes, really quench dry skin. And since the properties in hemp seeds can also help to reduce PMS and menopause-related symptoms, you definitely should cop you some.
This particular body butter you can find on sites like Etsyhere. Or, if you’d prefer to make some from scratch, check out this recipehere.
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3. Mango Butter
A type of body butter that I can 1000 percent vouch for is mango butter. This kind of butter is made from mango seeds. Between the antibacterial and antimicrobial along with the antioxidants that it contains, mango butter will help to heal damaged skin cells, and moisturize your skin, and the salicylic acid in it will help to protect your skin from UV rays (which are around whenever the sun is out, regardless of what time of year it is).
Since mango butter is the type of body butter that won’t clog your pores or leave a greasy residue, you can use it even if you’ve got acne-prone skin. As a bonus, if you’re looking for a butter that will also hydrate your hair, mango butter can do that, too, while also serving as an all-natural heat protectant before using a blow dryer or flat iron. Awesome, indeed. Some places to purchase raw mango butter include here, here, and here.
4. Tucuma Butter
Tucuma seeds come from the tucuma palm tree that is in South America. It’s a type of fruit that has a ton of fatty acids in it along with antioxidants. The cool thing about this particular butter is it’s so good in the hydration department that a lot of people use it on their hair in order to smooth their cuticles and reduce frizzing.
And since it’s great for your hair, at the very least, consider applying it to your scalp once a week or even using it on the driest parts of your body (like the heels of your feet, your hands, elbows, and legs) after getting out of the bath or shower in order to properly “seal” your skin. You can get some raw tucuma butter here and here.
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5. Almond Butter
I already know. Some of y’all just read this one and thought it was a typo because, usually when the topic of almond butter comes up, it’s in edible form. Okay, but here’s the thing — did you know that almonds are really good for your skin?One reason is because of all of the magnesium and vitamin E that’s in it.
Another is because it contains properties that can protect your skin from UV damage, environmental pollution, and other things that can cause damage to your skin cells. Another cool thing about almonds is all of the vitamin E in them can help to prevent and/or reduce hyperpigmentation as the linoleic acid in it can help to hydrate, especially the skin of women who are going through perimenopause or are in postmenopausal. Another perk of almonds is they can help to prevent and/or reduce the appearance of stretch marks.
That said, a great (and easy) recipe for this type of body butter is to gohere to make raw almond butter; then add rosewater and some manuka honey (add as much as you want to get the consistency that you’d prefer).Rosewater contains antioxidants, reduces skin irritation, and hydrates. And, as far as manuka honey goes, well, check out “Manuka Honey Is The Ultimate Beauty Find” when you get a chance. It’s just what the title says that it is.
6. Babassu Butter
The babassu palm tree also hails from South America and actually, when it comes to the skin, it’s mostly used in oil form. What it’s best known for is speeding up the healing process of minor cuts and skin wounds as well as reducing the vaginal discharge that is associated with hormonal imbalances. Anyway, the potent amount of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties, as well as all of the fatty acids in babassu oil help to moisturize your skin without leaving any greasy residue.
Something else that’s pretty dope about it is that studies say that babassu oil can leave your skin feeling soft and smooth without leading to any breakouts. There is a word of caution with this one, though. Some health professionals say that there hasn’t been enough research conducted to say that it’s completely safe for pregnant or breastfeeding women to use, so definitely speak with your healthcare provider if you happen to fit into either category.
For everyone else, you can purchase some babassu butter here, or if you’d prefer to go the DIY route, you can get the oil here, and a quick two-ingredient recipe is here.
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7. Cocoa Butter
As I said earlier, cocoa butter is probably the most popular body butter of them all — and with just cause. The saturated/fatty fats in the butter do everything from repairing the barrier of your skin and deeply moisturizing it to improving the elasticity of your skin and smoothing the appearance of scars and stretch marks.
Another thing to keep in mind about cocoa butter is if you happen to struggle with rashes from eczema or dermatitis, it can speed up the healing process of those as well. The vitamin E that’s in cocoa butter can make it a great all-natural lip balm on those cold and windy days, too. Cocoa butter is pretty easy to find. If you want it in its rawest form, though, some places include here and here.
8. Kokum Butter
Kokum comes from the seeds of the fruit of the kokum tree. Thanks to its anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidants, as well as the vitamins B and E, magnesium, and manganese that it contains, kokum is able to treat issues that are related to inflammation from dermatitis. Not only that, but when it’s turned into butter form, kokum is a popular skincare ingredient thanks to its ability to deeply hydrate the skin without clogging your pores in the process. And, since it has so much Vitamin E in it, you can also use it to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, fade scars, and soothe any itching that may come from having really dry skin.
Places like Amazon sell kokum butter in its rawest form. One merchant can be found here.
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9. Coconut Butter
Something that you’ve heard me mention several times throughout this article is fatty acids. The reality is if you want your skin to get and remain in peak condition, it needs those in order to add elasticity, deeply hydrate, speed up the healing process of surface wounds, help to prevent breakouts and slow down the aging process of your skin from top to bottom. Well, something that contains several different types of fatty acids is a coconut.
Aside from the other benefits that I just mentioned, another thing that is bomb about using coconut in the form of body butter is it also has properties that help to keep skin-related infections like athlete’s foot and cellulitis (a pretty serious skin infection that’s caused by bacteria) from becoming a real issue. Another wonderful thing about this fruit is it is an all-natural soother if eczema is something that you happen to deal with. Coconut butter can be purchased in its raw form at places like Amazon here.
10. Sal Seed (Tree) Butter
Yeah, don’t even get me started on the fact that it was hard to find a lot of scientific articles on this last type of butter. SMDH. That’s because, while the West likes to pump medication down our throats, natural approaches to our health are something that isn’t explored and/or shared en masse nearly enough (because it doesn’t make the same kind of money, and yet, I digress). And you know what? All that does is make me want to share uncommon natural things, even more, chile — like Sal seed butter.
A tree in India produces the seed, and it’s great for your skin because it is also rich in fatty acids — the kind that soothes super dry skin, helps to slow down the appearance of aging in your skin, and even brings relief to achy muscles. Matter of fact, after doing some extra digging, I discovered that many cosmetic companies like to use Sal seed as one of their ingredients (well, looka there). If you’d like to give this particular body butter a shot, especially as something to massage yourself with, you can purchase some here, here, or here.
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Okay, so if you clicked on some of the links of the various body butters and thought to yourself, “They don’t have the consistency that I’m looking for,” that’s probably because you’ve got whipped body butter in mind. No problem. After buying the raw butter, all you need is an electric mixer, some of your favorite carrier oils (to make the butter super smooth), essential oils (for fragrance), and a container (with a lid), and you’re good to go.
You can go here for a DIY whipped body butter recipe that you can read or you can check out a YouTube video on how to make your own whipped body butter here. When stored in a cool, dark, dry place, homemade body butter can last anywhere from 3-6 months — if you make some now, that can take you well into late winter/early spring.
So…what are you waiting for? Between the cold weather that’s steadily coming outside and the HVAC unit’s dry heat indoors, your skin needs the TLC of some body butter — and now, you know just the kind to indulge it with. Enjoy!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Vaginas. When it comes to the act of sex, have you ever really stopped to think about all that it goes through? Just think about it — when you’re not having sex, your vagina is just minding its business while in a relatively state of perfect peace. When you are having sex, though, suddenly it’s getting penetrated, at different levels of pressure and speeds, for minutes on end. And based on how the night is going — wink, wink — it might experience that over…and over…and over again.
I’m not saying that your vagina doesn’t like it. I’m simply saying that it goes through a lot during those moments of copulation — and sometimes, it’s without the pre- (check out “15 Pre-Sex Rituals That Could Make Sex A LOT More Pleasurable”) and post-care that it not only needs but truly deserves.
So, in honor of all that our vagina’s go through during coitus, I wanted to shout out four things that you should do for “her” before you have sex and four other things that you should do once the get down is over — things that will make her (and ultimately you) feel so much better about what transpires…during.
Before Sex Tip #1: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Shave
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My waxer and I are going to come to low-key blows in a minute if she doesn’t keep trying to take more and more hair away from my pubic mound. LOL. Me? I’m someone who likes my bikini line to be cleaned up; however, I prefer to not go completely bald. If you’re someone who is on the fence, something that may sway you over to my side of things is the fact that there is plenty of data out here that says pubic hair can help to decrease your chances of contracting an STI/STD.
One reason is that hair (everywhere) helps to protect you. Another is because, if you happen to shave or wax and then have sex 12-24 hours later, and your partner does have an STI/STD, there could be mild abrasions or cuts that could make it easier for what they have to be transmitted to you.
Listen, I’m all about a well-manicured treasure box happening — just make sure that you “handle that” a couple of days before sex…not mere hours before.
Before Sex Tip #2: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Avoid Washing Your Hands
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It’s kind of hard to have sex without using your hands. That said, if fingers are gonna be all up and around “her,” they need to be as clean as possible, so that bacteria doesn’t end up pissing her off. This means that if your nails are long, you need to use a nail brush to dig up underneath them. This means that if he goes to the bathroom right before coming into the bedroom, he should wash his hands.
This also means that if you like to be on the adventurous side and bring “sex condiments” into the picture during foreplay (check out “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), and there is stuff all over your fingers, hands should be washed then too. The main reason for the last one is food has a way of throwing off your vagina’s pH balance — and, whenever that happens, it can lead to an infection. And who the hell wants that, chile?
Before Sex Tip #3: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Drink Too Much
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When you get a chance, do your vagina a favor and check out “Turns Out Sober Sex Might Be The Underrated Secret To Better Orgasms.” When you’ve got too much alcohol in your system, not only could it potentially cloud your judgment, but it can also tank your libido, decrease how much natural lubricant your body produces, and it can make it harder for you to climax as well.
As far as the lube part goes, the issue with that is alcohol dehydrates you, and let me tell you, there are few things worse than trying to have great sex with a dry va-jay-jay. All of that friction damn near feels like broken glass (not exactly but…close). Ugh. So, a glass of wine or a shot of Casamigos? Cool. Throwin’ back an entire bottle? Yeah, let’s not.
Before Sex Tip #4: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t "Forget" to Use Condoms
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If you want to significantly decrease your chances of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy or an STI/STD, you need to use a condom — not sometimes, not partly during sex…each and every time and from start to finish when it comes to copulation. To this day, when used flawlessly, condoms continue to be 98 percent effective (around 87 percent effective otherwise). Not only that but if you are having sex with a new partner for the first time, his sperm/semen has the potential to throw your vagina’s pH off and that could lead to itchiness, irritation and/or some type of infection.
Look, I don’t know one person on this planet who thinks that wearing a condom feels better than “going raw.” Still, unless you want to get pregnant or you want to do a crap shoot with your health (at a time when STIs/STDs are on the rise, by the way), do you and your vagina a favor and bring condoms into the mix. Speaking of condoms (and your vagina), check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer,” so that using them can be as pleasant of an experience as possible.
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After Sex Tip #1: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t “Mingle” with Sex Toys
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Okay, so when it comes to “after sex,” I think that pretty much all of us can vouch for the fact that sometimes sex doesn’t stop so much as it…pauses. And during that refractory period, it can be common for one or both partners to do things that will help to keep the juices flowing (umm, so to speak). Thing is, if your sex toys have been moving around from place to place, this means that bacteria, fungi, or even viruses can be transmitted.
So, after the first sex romp, please wash your sex toys before inserting them, umm, elsewhere. Then, once you’re completely done, thoroughly clean and dry them and put them away. For tips on how to do this, based on the material that they are made out of, check out Self’s “How to Clean Your Sex Toys So You Can Use Them Safely.”
After Sex Tip #2: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Hold Your Pee In
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Although I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor, when I stepped onto my college’s campus for the first time, I was pretty green about a lot of things when it came to sex. That’s why it threw me off when my freshman year suite mates were trying to convince me that holding urine in during sex intensifies orgasms. Chile…if y’all are out here doing that, that explains why there seems to be an uptick in squirting (some of y’all will catch that later — LOL).
Anyway, what I do know, as far as pee goes, is you should definitely release it after intercourse. According to science, making sure to use the bathroom after sex can help to push out germs and bacteria that may try to get caught up in your urethra, ones that could ultimately lead to a urinary tract infection (UTI).
After Sex Tip #3: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Use Harsh Cleansing Products
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It can never be said enough that vaginas are self-cleaning — this means that, even after sex, yours does not need the assistance of douching or you attempting to “clean it out” with some sort of over-the-top body wash or heavily fragranced soap. All that will do is disrupt the pH of your vagina. As far as your vulva — the outer part of your vagina — goes, even that doesn’t need you to go overboard.
Some warm water and a mild, unscented soap are really all that you need, especially since you may have some mild abrasions due to the friction of the sexual experience. Oh, and if you are doing the most, thinking that you can get sperm/semen out of you — that’s not how it works. Once it enters your body, it’s gotta leave in its own time (which tends to be no longer than 5-7 days).
After Sex Tip #4: Your Vagina Wishes You Wouldn’t Put Panties (Back) On
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Even though men have told me that they feel more comfortable with putting a pair of drawers on after having sex, that doesn’t mean that you should automatically follow suit. I mean, unless you plan on getting right into the shower (and fully drying off afterwards), there is probably sweat and other fluids that could be a breeding ground for an infection if you decide to immediately put on panties, lingerie, or some other type of tight-fitting clothing on.
So, stay naked — at least from the bottom down. It’ll give your vagina (and vulva) some time to catch its breath and actually breathe. Yes, literally.
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Without your vagina, sex would suck. LOL. And so, the least you could do is implement these eight tips as a way to show your appreciation. They’re simple things that can make a big difference in how your vagina feels — about sex and you before, during and after it. #wink
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