I always say my power is my voice and my words inspire. And they do. I believe in the power of my voice to no end. But I didn't always have the courage and strength to use my voice. I wasn't always this outspoken. I wasn't always so quick to offer my two cents either. This part of me was suppressed for most of my life. Even when I didn't know my voice is the very essence of all that I am. Finding my voice was something that took time to do. I had to unlearn conditioned behaviors I learned as a child and as an adolescent. Like, don't ask questions or speak only when spoken to. I'm a Sagittarius y'all – it's only natural for me to be inquisitive by nature. I yearn for knowledge. I am opinionated AF. And I love to talk.
Imagine finding your voice, giving it power, and then feeling like you cannot speak. This was me. Recently, after a severe anxiety attack, I had to make a difficult decision to take down my Medium page. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but in this situation, protecting my peace and space is everything to me. In making this decision, I felt like my voice was taken from me. I felt like my voice was blocked and stripped. I had struggled for so long to be able to speak my truth. And what I didn't know was that sharing my truth could inadvertently cause me harm.
Now, there was a lump stuck in the base of my throat. A few days later, my ears started to hurt and my throat was sore. Mind you, throughout this whole pandemic, I have yet to be sick. I ended up with a whole-ass sinus infection. Most would have attributed this to the pollen count or allergy season. But nah, not this time.
Throat Chakra Healing: How To Clear A Blocked Throat Chakra
Now, that I am spiritually aligned, I know this was physically and energetically connected. Remember, the mind, body, and soul work as one. Your body will give you the answers you seek. I became so anxious I made myself sick. And I knew my throat chakra was blocked. It took me a while to feel like I could speak again, but after my physical symptoms went away, I was able to speak my truth once more. And now, I'm back on.
If you're struggling with communicating or using your voice, here is how to know if your throat chakra is blocked.
A Word About The Throat Chakra
The throat chakra is the fifth chakra of seven chakras in the body. It is the chakra of personal power and is related to our self-esteem and self-confidence. It is responsible for communication, creativity, self-expression, and the ability to speak your inner truth. When your throat chakra is imbalanced or blocked you may have a hard time communicating effectively. So, what causes blockages in the throat chakra? It's hard to say. We are all individuals, and our life experiences vary. But you must look inward for the answer to face your truth and remove the blockages.
Your Body Hurts
When your throat chakra is blocked, the flow of energy through this chakra is disrupted. And when that happens, you may experience any of the following physical symptoms below:
- Hoarseness
- Chronic sore throat
- Mouth ulcers
- Thyroid problems
- Neck pain
- Gum disease
- Laryngitis
Your Emotional Well-Being Is Affected
Blocked throat chakras can show up as nonphysical symptoms too. Remember, I said the mind, body, and soul are interconnected. What shows up in the body will manifest mentally and emotionally too. Emotional signs of a blocked throat chakra include the following:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Shyness
- Low self-esteem
- Fear of speaking your truth
- Inability to express thoughts
- Inhibited creativity
- Inconsistency in speech and actions
5 Ways to Open Up and Heal Your Throat Chakra
Getty Images
If your throat chakra is blocked, you need to clear it. This means learning to let go and trust your inner voice. You must work through and release negative emotions to restore the energy balance in the throat chakra. Inner work is never easy, it requires you to face yourself. Be prepared to deal with what you find.
1. Learn How To Journal
For me, journaling is how I started writing. But journaling can help you express your feelings when you're not able to vocalize them. It's a transformative practice that can help in different areas of your life. So, take time during your day or week to write down thoughts or feelings. It's not about spelling or grammar. It's about taking the time to acknowledge what you feel and be honest about it.
2. Put Some Blue In Your Life
The color blue helps free the natural energy that resides in your throat chakra. This could look like buying blue flowers, a blue candle, blue curtains, or adding blue bedsheets to your bedroom. Consider wearing blue jewelry or blue clothing too. This can also look like spending time outside under clear blue skies.
3. Get You Some Crystals Sis
Crystals for the throat chakra includes lapis lazuli, amazonite, turquoise, or aquamarine. You can keep these crystals under your pillow, by your nightstand, or use them as home decor. But my favorite way to use crystals is to carry them in my backpack or asjewelry. You can find crystals for the throat chakra at any metaphysical store in your local area.
4. Use Affirmations
Mantras or affirmations are another way to help heal the throat chakra. These can be used as a reminder, part of your journaling practice, or in daily meditation. And the beauty of it is, you can use any affirmation you want. You can say something like, "My voice is heard," "I claim and honor my true voice," "I speak my truth freely and openly," or "I'm not scared to speak my mind."
5. Book A Reiki Session
I really can't say enough about the power of reiki. Reiki is a spiritual healing art that stems from Japan. It is the life energy that flows through all living things. This healing practice can clear bad energy from the body, remove energy blockages, and rebalance the flow of energy. I typically do a reiki session a few times a year to balance my chakras and energy. After a reiki session, I feel so much lighter and renewed.
So, how do you know that your throat chakra is healing? Well, when your throat chakra begins to open, you become more aware of your own self and the people around you. You become calm and relaxed. You also start to feel confident in expressing your thoughts and ideas. How you communicate is clear and consistent.
I would also say listen to your intuition; you'll know when your throat chakra is no longer blocked because energy does not lie. Your voice is a gift. It is one of the greatest gifts next to life itself. It's what makes us original, authentic, and different.
I encourage you to find your voice, and then speak from your heart and your core.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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Featured image by Bob Thomas/Getty Images