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Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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Y’all, if you want to see how fast time is moving and also how much you are progressing, look at children or go back and read some of your journal entries from back in the day. As far as the journals go, that can be a really solid practice if you’re ever feeling stagnant or stuck because, believe you me, if you are intentional about evolution and transformation, reading who and where you were once upon and time vs. where and who you are now will showcase it for you, live and in living color. And honestly, that is what the sequel to my first book has done for me.
After I completed it, I realized that it was the best birthday present — both to me and for me.
Because so many of you have been kind enough to contact me to see when I am penning another book, that’s why I’ve written this article — Inside of Me 2.0. My Story. With a 20-Year Lens.is officially available as of this month. That was definitely on purpose because I was going to either release it on my birthday (June) or during Rosh Hashanah (the new year that I observe, which was October 2-4 this year) and preferably in the month of October, which is my late father’s birthday month (if/when you read the book, it’ll all make sense). This year, it all played out perfectly.
Twenty years wasn’t yesterday by any stretch of the imagination (listen…). And so, if you’re not familiar with my work as an author and you’re curious before purchasing my latest read, I totally get it. Here are a few things about Inside of Me and Inside of Me 2.0 that, hopefully, will get you to make a $12.99 or $7 e-book investment. C’mon. Mama needs a new set of Pumas. #wink
Inside Of Me...20 Years Ago.
'Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption'
Twenty damn years ago. To give you some perspective, the movie The Notebookcame out in 2004. Usher’s LPConfessions came out in 2004 (“Superstar” definitely should’ve been an official single, and “That’s What It’s Made For” is low-key one of the most sexually irresponsible songs to date, chile). The online review site Yelp (that is pure chaos, by the way — LOL) made its debut in 2004. Bill Clinton’s autobiographyMy Lifecame out in 2004 — and it just happened to be the same month (and year) that my first book (which was also an autobiography of sorts) did.
Oh,Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption. Some fun facts include the fact that:
*My brother actually chose the name (well, the “Inside of Me” part).
*Although I had no hand in the design (although it did turn out to be pretty stellar, if I do say so myself), a friend of mine by the name of Cole Warren (no relation) took the cover shot (the design team overlooked giving her photo credit, so there ya go, Cole).
*One of the best vocalists of our time (if you’ve been to a live show of hers, you know that I’m not exaggerating), India.Arie penned the foreword because we happened to be each other’s first “official” celebrity interview (I still have a copy of her demo from her debut LP somewhere): me as the journalist and her as the feature. We stayed in touch via email for a few years after that. There are typos in the foreword because she sent it handwritten right when we were about to literally go to press, and there was no time to edit it without it costing thousands of dollars more (real talk).
*I call the first Inside of Me my “sexual autobiography” because, although it wasn’t exactly planned to play out this way, a lot of what was consuming me in my 20s was sex and relationships. Hmph. I guess that’s why when Karrine Steffans’s (who now goes by Elisabeth Ovesen) first book, Confessions of a Video Vixen (which came out in 2005), was released, some folks said that I was the “Christian Superhead” (chile). Yeah, not even close, although I do get the comparison in the sense that both books were pretty candid — in some ways, mine even more so, since I was a Christian (at the time), and yet I was so open about my sex life and the consequences that came from it. Yeah, that was pretty taboo back then.
*Who published the book is a former publishing company that also produces the Christian pop culture magazineRelevant. I used to be a columnist for it. Kyle Chowning, Cara Baker (I think she’s married with a different name now), and yes, even Cameron Strang were really good to me there; thank you.
*People often ask me how to get a publishing deal; I’m not sure what to tell them because all of the deals that I’ve gotten (which are two; my third book, I took a different route…more on that in a sec) were offered to me.
*Every book that I’ve written has taken about six weeks to do it from start to finish (don’t ask me why; it just always plays out that way).
*Although my immediate family came and celebrated at my book signing party that I hosted at an art gallery here in Nashville when my book was released, while I was actually penning it, my mother didn’t speak to me for six months because she wasn’t supportive of the content that I was writing. I had a lot of fear back then, so if you ask me, it was a pretty tame version of everything that I went through. I am pretty fearless now (do with that what you will).
*Also, the “main men” in the book were not blindsided; I made sure that the fathers of my aborted children heard their specific chapters prior to publishing — not because I needed their approval but because I know what being caught totally off guard feels like, and I didn’t want to do that to them. They all said that they were fine with my perspective even if it wasn’t 100 percent their own (understood).
*I had a publicist who did a pretty good job promoting the book. I even had an Oprah (show) invite, although I turned it down because they wanted me to spend a considerable amount of the interview discussing something that wasn’t difficult for me, yet I knew it would be for someone close to me, so I declined. I have no regrets.
*I didn’t plan to pen a sequel at the time of releasing the first book, and certainly not one 20 years later. Not back then. Yet there is something about 20 biblically representing “perfection in waiting” and my also processing who I was as a woman at 29 (when I wrote my first book) and who I, well, now, was as a woman at 49 (when I wrote most of the follow-up) that made it all seem like the right time and occasion.
Inside of Me...Now.
'Inside of Me 2.0. My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'
Although it might sound like a shameless plug, if you haven’t read the first book, you might want to before copping the second one: Inside of Me 2.0. My Story. With a 20-Year Lens. I think the second offering will make a lot of sense even if you don’t…I’m just saying if you want some real context, the first is a great reference point.
So, what’s different about this book? I mean, for starters, I am 20 years older.
As far as the book itself goes, I decided to self-publish and also create an imprint to create more books moving forward. Listen, I’ve been published before, twice, and although the bragging rights (and advance) can be (initially) cool, if you want to make some real money, you’d need to be a bestseller. Not to mention the fact that self-publishing comes with so many options now; I mean, the distribution for this book is as vast as my previous other ones (Pure Heart: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Integrityis the second book; I’m not as emotionally attached to it, though). Plus, the book industry isn’t what it used to be, and neither are bookstores, for that matter (SMDH).
Another reason why I decided to self-publish is I wanted complete control from the design to the content, and this route gave me that. The book is green because I like what green represents (health, growth, balance, wisdom, and renewal, for starters). I put my picture on the back because I got the affirmation that my self-esteem needed at the time via my picture being on the front with the first book (I’m good).
I didn’t want anyone to write the foreword or reviews for the cover because, well, it’s my story — I don’t really need anyone to validate my own experience. I also didn’t want an editing team that would constantly ask me, “Are you sure you want to say that like that?” — all of these are traditional routes for books, and traditional, I am not.
The content. Well…not a ton of sex has been had over the past 20 years (which is wild to even hear myself say), and so, a sexual autobiography, again, this is not. Looking back on both books, I get that the first one was about a lot of what I did while my second covers a lot of ground concerning why I did it. As far as the ground that I chose to cover, I’ve been asked what surprised, even me, and I’d have to say that it’s got a heavy narcissism theme to it. I grew up in a religious home, and a child of an entertainment industry leader, and narcissism abounds in both of those realms. I do quite a bit of unpacking regarding all of that.
There is also quite a bit of closure in this book — closure that includes the explanation(s) of why. The tone is pretty unapologetic because, as I said earlier, I still had some fear while writing my first book. Now I love myself more (love casts out fear), and so the fear is virtually nonexistent. That’s why this book is more along the lines of, “I mean, if you didn’t want me to write about it, why did you do it?” along with some “And you still should be grateful that some mercy was factored in” sprinkled throughout.
Yeah, Inside of Me 2.0 consists of a lot of what one chapter addresses in its title — learning the differences between who PTSD Shellie was and who the Real Shellie now is. Just like a lot of the content that is featured on this platform, there is no shortage of spiritual and biblical references to emphasize some points; however, it’s not a Christian book by any stretch because I wouldn’t consider myself to be a Christian — anymore. I like how John 8:31-32 is where Christ said that his followers were his disciples. I also like that his disciples were pretty unconventional and off the chain (re-read about Peter sometime). All of that tracks for me.
Something else? I didn’t expect Inside of Me 2.0 to be longer than Inside of Me — it’s around 30 pages more, though. I guess it’s that way because I explain, in detail, where I stand spiritually, where I am when it comes to my family (chile), and the resolves that I now have as it relates to relationships — romantic, platonic, and otherwise. I don’t talk a lot about sex because there isn’t a lot to say on the personal front (#Elmoshrug). If you come to this site, I’m never short of ideas on the topic, though…so…there’s that.
Press. I keep getting asked about that. I dunno, y’all. I haven’t had any social media for what, 15 years now, and I still don’t want (or miss) it. I am in the process of building a website along a theme that I am passionate about (more on that to come). I am also open to doing some interviews as they come, and I think I might hop on a podcast platform, just so people can hear the tree fall in the forest (if you catch my drift); however, I didn’t write this book for attention or fame.
I wrote it because A) I’m a writer; it’s like breathing; B) Inside of Me needed some documented resolution, and now it has that; C) my dad never had a voice for his pain, and I wanted to be his mouthpiece now that he is no longer here; D) there are certain questions that I get asked fairly often that I felt a book could answer all in one sitting, and E) it was time. Twenty years — perfection in waiting — says so.
Photo Credit: Sam Simpkins
Welp. That’s about it, y’all. Oh, one more thing because some people have already asked me this too. What is my arm tat about? Feathers symbolize spiritual evolution, honor, wisdom, power, and femininity. I have five stars that represent my four aborted children and Perez (check the dedication for an explanation about him). Moon and stars symbolize the balance of masculine and feminine energy. The Hebrew letters spell out Perez, which means “breakthrough” in Hebrew.
You know, back in the late 90s, there were some Jamaican women who came to a church that I visited who did an altar call for anyone who wanted clarity. As one of them walked past me, she came back and said, “Books! Books! Lots of books!” I guess I’m just out here confirming what she spoke over me. Following the flow of it all.
If you’re willing to support that, I’d 1000 percent appreciate it.
From the inside (pun intended)…out.
Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens is now available on platforms includingAmazon,Barnes & Noble, Ingram, etc., and will be available on e-book sites including Apple iBookstore, Google Play, Nook, and others by the end of October 2024.
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Featured image by Sam Simpkins