

Health is wealth. We've all heard it before and, as someone who is oh so well in her 40s at this point, I most certainly believe it. When it comes to food specifically, I am well aware that my mother's clean diet while carrying me played a huge role in why I am so healthy now. I also know that when I eat right, I feel so much different than when I go through some drive-thru line.
We as women are some amazing creatures. At the same time, our bodies are so intricately designed that it's important that we provide our system with the kind of fuel that will keep us thriving for years to come. That's why I thought it would be a good idea to share 12 foods that can help specific parts of the female body. If you add these to your diet on a regular basis, I'm confident that you will feel so much better for it. Ready?
1. Portabella mushrooms as a superfood are high in anti-inflammatories which helps your immune system.
I'm not a vegetarian or a vegan but there are times when I'll take a break from eating meat. One food that is a cool meat-textured substitute is the portabella mushroom. In fact, it contains about 20 percent of the protein that your body needs on a daily basis. As far as health benefits go, for starters, portabella mushrooms contain a good amount of selenium, potassium, vitamins B2 and B3, and copper.
This is the kind of mushroom that has conjugated linoleic acids (CLA) in it which is cool because those help to inhibit the growth of cancer cells. Not only that, but portabella mushrooms are high in antioxidants and anti-inflammatories which definitely makes them something that will help to keep your immune system in check in the absolute best way possible.
2. Eating the superfood asparagus supports brain health and keeps your heart strong.
A veggie that contains a good amount of vitamins A, B6, and B12, C, E, K, folate, iron, calcium, antioxidants, and protein is asparagus. If you're looking for something that will help you to lose weight, because asparagus is low in fat and calories, it's a food that can help you to do just that. Because it contains the amino acid asparagine, this vegetable can help to prevent UTIs. The Vitamin E that it contains will fight off free radicals, and there are even studies to support the fact that asparagus can help your body to overcome a hangover (buck, right?). As far as your brain and heart go, since it's loaded with Vitamin B12 and folate, asparagus can keep your brain in great shape and the potassium in it helps to keep your heart strong.
3. Citrus fruit can be a great superfood for breast health.
Oranges. Grapefruit. Lemons. Limes. Tangerines. These are all considered to be citrus fruit which basically means that they are "sour fruits". Since they are high in Vitamin C and C is a great antioxidant, it's important to eat this fruit to keep cold and flu bugs from getting you sick. Citrus fruit is high in fiber to keep you regular, water to keep you hydrated, flavonoids to strengthen your heart and potassium to help prevent kidney stones and strokes. Also, since Vitamin C can increase collagen production, citrus fruit is great at reducing signs of aging too.
The reason why peeling an orange or slicing a grapefruit on a weekly basis is such a good idea is because citrus fruit has a phytochemical limonoid in it which has antitumor, antiproliferative and anti-inflammatory properties. Since breast cancer in Black women has a lower incidence but higher mortality rate, it's definitely something to eat more often.
4. Greek yogurt is a superfood that supports gut health.
Ever wonder what the difference is between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt? At the end of the day, Greek yogurt is strained while regular yogurt isn't which means that Greek yogurt has more nutrients in it. It's the kind of food that is a wonderful source of protein and probiotics. It also has a good amount of vitamin B12, potassium, calcium, and iodine (which keeps your thyroid in good shape). If you're looking for a healthy snack that can replenish some of what you've lost after working out, Greek yogurt has totally got you in that way too. Plus, since it's a fermented food that is loaded with healthy bacteria cultures, it's also a food that can keep your gut in great health; that's a blessing because 80 percent of your immune system is located there.
5. For hormonal balance, quinoa is a good superfood for reducing bodily inflammation.
Quinoa is the kind of food that has grown on me over time. A part of what helped me to keep rocking with it was all of the health benefits that it contains. There is definitely no way around the fact that it is indeed a superfood. First, quinoa is one of the very few plants that is considered to be a complete protein (great news for vegetarians and vegans). It's also high in fiber, iron, magnesium, manganese and zinc. If you're someone who prefers foods that are gluten-free, quinoa totally has your back in that way too. Quinoa is good for your gut, helps to reduce bodily inflammation, and is even able to assist in lowering your cholesterol levels. And since it's a food that helps to keep androgen levels on point (including testosterone which women contain a certain amount of), it's also a really good nutrient to help keep your hormones balanced out.
6. Among other things, the superfood sesame seeds can balance estrogen levels.
Speaking of hormones, if you want to add another food to your diet that will help you out in this area, sesame seeds are perfect. Not only are they a wonderful source of virtually all B vitamins, but these seeds are also a good source of plant protein, fiber, and antioxidants. Many nutritionists dig them because they support thyroid health, control blood sugar levels, encourage bone health, help to reduce bodily inflammation, and can even decrease arthritic discomfort that may be specifically in your knees.
What particularly caught my attention about them, though, is sesame seeds are also an awesome source of phytoestrogens; that's good to know because our estrogen levels tend to be lower during our menstrual cycle and also when we're going through menopause.
7. Orange and yellow vegetables are great superfoods for the skin.
Flavonoids. Vitamins A, C, and K. Potassium. Magnesium. These are some of the nutrients that are in orange and yellow vegetables. Thanks to the high amount of these vitamins that are in them, they are the kind of veggies that fight off free radicals, lower blood pressure, maintain oral health, promote healthy joints, keep your pH balanced, boost your immunity, and lower your cholesterol levels. The reason why veggies like corn, yellow and orange peppers, and carrots are great for your skin is that the beta-carotene (vitamin A) that's in them will help to improve the texture of your skin as well as protect your skin from damaging UV rays.
8. As a superfood, berries can help keep your scalp and hair health on point.
Berries are a low-calorie fruit that's full of water and high in antioxidants and fiber. That alone should be enough of a reason to want to eat them more often, I would think. If you're looking for a sweet way to lower your cholesterol levels, improve your blood sugar levels, fight off free radicals, strengthen your body's arteries, boost brain power, and even decrease your chances of being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, a fresh bowl of berries can totally make that happen.
Also, if healthy hair is what you're after, the flavonoid anthocyanin in berries like blueberries will help your body to produce the collagen that your hair needs to stay strong. Plus, the vitamin C in berries will feed your hair follicles while increasing blood circulation to your scalp. The vitamin B in berries will give your follicles more oxygen in order to keep your scalp and hair in good shape.
9. Stinging nettle helps lower blood pressure and keep heart disease at bay.
If you're not familiar with what stinging nettle is, it's basically an herb that has antimicrobial, anti-ulcer, astringent, and analgesic properties. It's full of antioxidants too. If you're someone who is looking for a way to naturally treat a bladder infection, relieve joint pain, reduce hay fever-related symptoms or even make eczema symptoms more bearable, stinging nettle has totally got your back.
I decided to include it in this article, though, because of what it can do for your blood. Because stinging nettle is also an herb that is high in vitamin C and iron, if you consume it a couple of times a week, it can help your body produce more red blood cells which can prevent you from becoming anemic. It's also got the flavonoids quercetin and kaempferol in it which is awesome because those help to lower your blood pressure and keep heart disease at bay.
10. For the libido, dark chocolate is a great superfood to add to your diet.
It's kind of crazy that something as delicious as dark chocolate would be as nutritious as it is. There is a ton of iron, fiber, magnesium, zinc, omega-6 fatty acids, and copper, along with antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties that makes it well worth your time to have a 60-percent-of-cocoa-in-it piece a few times a week. Dark chocolate is also good for you because it can help to boost your mood, improve your blood sugar levels, reduce cancer cell growth, lower your (bad) cholesterol levels, reduce the chances of strokes and heart attacks, protect your skin from sun damage, and even suppress your coughs.
Plus, if you want to get in the mood (or get your partner in the mood), the compound phenylethylamine that's also in dark chocolate, along with the properties that in it can help to boost your libido and increases blood flow to your genital region so that you can enjoy sexual pleasure more.
11. Aged cheese is a superfood that is great for fertility.
Uh-huh. I bet you didn't see this one coming, did you? Before getting into how aged cheeses can help you to conceive, let's first break down some of the cheeses that can easily go onto this list. Some include Fontina, Gruyere, Manchego Curado, Dry Monterey Jack, Parmesan, Piccante Provolone, and Sharp-Aged Cheddar because they are all cheeses that have gone through the aging process for six months or more (you can check out a pretty comprehensive list of other aged cheeses on Kosher's site here).
A few of the reasons why aged cheese is good for your overall health and well-being is because it's high in calcium, zinc, phosphorus, enzymes, and protein, along with vitamins A, B12, and K. If you're someone who happens to be lactose-intolerant, there's a pretty good chance that you can still enjoy aged cheese because the processing of aged cheese means that very little (if any) lactose is in it. Aged cheese is also a probiotic food which also makes it good for your gut health.
As far as your fertility goes, these cheeses contain polyamines; they are proteins that help to keep eggs and sperm healthy. Now how dope is that? Oh! I almost forgot that aged cheeses have also been shown to increase longevity. Grilled cheese sandwich, anyone?
12. As a superfood, raw honey reduces stress, regulates blood sugar, and fights off free radicals.
One of the best things to ever happen to any of us is honey. The reason why I say that is it really is criminal that it can taste so good and offer so many health benefits at the same time. If you opt for consuming raw honey (which is honey that isn't processed and has as many health benefits as possible), it contains enzymes, amino acids, B vitamins, Vitamin C, antioxidants, and several minerals too. Eating honey can help to fight allergies (because it contains allergens that cause it to act much like a natural antibiotic); fights off free radicals; contains antibacterial properties to fight off salmonella and E. coli (for starters); promotes oral health, regulates blood sugar; reduces oxidative stress, and is a great hair and skin moisturizer (honey helps to heal pimples and fade acne marks too).
Even with all of this, I'm actually closing out with honey because certain properties in honey are able to offer a calming effect and reduce anxiety. Just take a teaspoon of raw honey at night before turning in and you'll sleep more soundly and feel more relaxed so that you can better handle whatever is coming the next day. Yep, definitely a superfood in every way. Enjoy!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 10 Superfoods Every Woman Needs In Their Diet - xoNecole ... ›
- 12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- 12 Foods That Legitimately Reduce Signs Of Aging - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
It was the great Sade who once sang that it’s never as good as the first time (if ya know, ya know). And while, truly is a great notion in theory, the reality is, when it comes to having sex for the first time, sometimes we’re so anxious, so nervous, so not-sure-what-to-expect that we end up putting far too much pressure on ourselves and/or our partner and/or the experience overall that we can sabotage it — in some ways, before anything even happens.
Let’s try and prevent that from ever happening again, y’all. One way to do that is to check out 12 hacks that are centered around how to be calmer, feel sexier, and become more present during your (next) first-time copulation — so that you can look back on it with all smiles and not one regret.
Getty Images
1. Put Some Essential Oil on the Bedding
Doing things, beforehand, that will create the desired mood can already help to calm your nerves; that’s because it reminds you that you are not doing something flippantly or without giving it all some real thought — that what is about to transpire is intentional because you are choosing for it to be and that can be empowering in its own way. That said, if you’ve ever wondered if aromatherapy is more of a myth than anything else, there is science to support that when you take in certain scents, the part of your brain that regulates emotion is alerted and that creates certain responses.
In this case, since you want to decrease stress, it’s a good idea to apply essential oils like lavender, rose, patchouli, jasmine, cedarwood, mandarin, or ylang-ylang to your bedding. They all have a reputation for providing a relaxing effect.
2. Light Some Scented Soy Candles
If you’re thinking, “You sure do shout-out soy candles a lot” — you would be absolutely correct. When they are scented, they smell amazing and, because they are soy, they burn cleaner and longer. Plus, candlelight is soothing and romantic. Definitely, a perfect way to cultivate ambiance is with the help of some candles. By the way, vanilla, cinnamon, sandalwood, pumpkin, and ginger-scented ones are considered to be aphrodisiac ones…and you already know what that means. #wink
3. Pour Some Pure Fruit Juice into Some Wine Glasses
If you were thinking about taking a couple of shots of Casamigos in order to take some of the “edge” off, while it might give you a temporary liquid courage fix and could temporarily increase your sex drive, quite a bit of research states that alcohol can also put you on a bit of a roller coaster ride when it comes to being able to maintain natural lubrication and even being able to orgasm. That’s why you might want to go with some fruit juice instead.
Chuckle if you want to but orange juice increases blood circulation (which can intensify your orgasms), pomegranate juice raises testosterone levels in both men and women and apple juice is a phytoestrogen drink that can help increase lubrication — and you know what they say: the wetter, the better!
Getty Images
4. Try a Teaspoon of Honey (or Chocolate)
For the record, when it comes to this tip, I’m not talking about those honey packets that are all over social media (check out “Those (Sex) Honey Packets Have A Lot Of Hype. Here’s The Truth About ‘Em.”). I mean, the kind of honey that you get at the grocery store — like the one that is in teddy bear bottles by the jellies (the real ones know). And although I personally think that honey can — eh hem — make the night go better on a few different levels (check out “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), my recommendation for taking in a teaspoon before anything gets started has nothing to do with your libido. Well, not exactly.
You might be surprised to know that honey contains compounds that can help to calm your nervous system as it helps to reduce your anxiety levels. Come to think of it, the flavonoids in dark chocolate can have a similar effect. So, if you want a sweet way to reduce the butterflies, honey and dark chocolate are scientifically proven methods.
5. Watch a Comedy
Sex for the first time is a serious decision — yes. But does the entire evening need to be serious? Absolutely not. In fact, it might surprise you to know that laughter not only reduces anxiety levels, but research also reveals that people who are able to take a joke, can laugh at themselves and like to have fun during intimacy, they end up having far more satisfying sex lives than those who don’t.
So, if what you need is a bit of an icebreaker, watch a funny movie or television show. It can definitely help to take some of the edge off and make you both feel more comfortable with getting even more comfortable in each other’s space later on.
6. (Slow) Dance Together
Listen, any time that I can reference some '90s R&B, I’m gonna do it without any kind of hesitation or apology and, when it comes to this tip, the song that immediately came to mind was Tony! Toni! Toné!’s “Slow Wine.” Dancing close to someone who you’re attracted to while listening to songs that are your fave? That’s automatically a comforting thought (and action). And yes, there is scientific evidence to support that dancing can help to reduce stress while giving you a boost of the feel-good hormone dopamine. So…where’s your slow jam playlist?
Getty Images
7. Do Some Reflexology or Give Each Other a Hand Massage
If dancing isn’t really your thing, another option is to get into some novice-level reflexology (foot therapy) or to give each other a hand massage. By touching certain parts of the feet, you can reduce anxiety and increase energy levels. One way that this works is reflexology helps to stimulate the production of endorphins so that you can feel less stressed. Same goes with hand massages.
If you’d like to give either of these a shot, warm up a mixture of the essential oil that you used for your bedding with a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) and then take turns rubbing each other’s feet and/or hands. For tips on how to give a good foot massage, go here. A hand massage? Look here.
8. Implement the ‘333 Rule’…with a Twist
If your mind only seems to race, no matter what you do, you can always try what is known as the “333 Rule.” All you need to do is look around and identify three objects, then three sounds, and then move three body parts. Although the method to the madness is still being figured out, it is believed that by taking the focus off of your feelings and briefly placing them onto other things, that can help you to feel less anxious. Hey…you never know until/unless you try. Right?
9. Talk It Out
I’m gonna be really real with you: if you’re too uncomfortable to tell your partner that you’re nervous about having sex with them — why are you planning to have sex with them in the first place? After all, no matter how vulnerable you may feel, nothing tops getting naked with someone and allowing them to enter into your body (just sayin’). That’s why, it’s more than pkay to be open, honest, and genuine about what’s going through your mind before anything ever happens (so long as you are also kind, tactful, and speaking to them in the way that you would like to be spoken to).
In fact, if you need some help “breaking the ice” in this way, consider asking — and answering — the following questions:
- What are you the most concerned or nervous about?
- Do you feel comfortable in this environment?
- What’s your favorite part about foreplay and sex?
- What are your erogenous zones?
- Do you have any particular expectations?
- What’s your biggest turn-on and sex-related pet peeve?
- Is there something new that you’d like to try?
- Should we come up with a safe word?
- Are you a cuddler or nah?
- Do you believe that we’re ready?
Remember, sex is a form of communication, so it’s encouraged to communicate about sex before it transpires. That’s because, the more you know about each other mentally, the easier it will be to enjoy each other…physically/sexually.
Getty Images
10. Have No Agenda
If you’re going into the evening on some, “And I’m going to be the best that he ever had” or “I already know that this is going to be the best night ever” — no wonder you’re so stressed out. Putting high expectations onto anything, including sex, is a surefire way to end up thinking too hard, trying too hard, or ending up super disappointed. Hmph. Off-topic yet not, I still can’t believe that the people who played on-again-off-again lovebirds Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) and Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty) on the original Beverly Hills, 90210 are no longer with us.
Yet as I was thinking about this tip, something that Dylan said before their first time came to mind: “We’re not going to be judging each other up there. We’re going to be enjoying each other.” And y’all, that is exactly the mindset to have before having sex with someone, in real life, for the first time. If that is not the resolve that the two of you are able to come to? Red flag.
11. Kiss. A LOT.
When it comes to the topic of kissing, there are two things that I’m gonna be quick to say. One is, you can’t just be out here sharing your mouth with any and everybody (check out “Can You Actually Get An STI/STD From Kissing? Yes. And No.”). The second is a kiss? A really good, long, and passionate kiss? Chile, while doing that…bad nerves…where (check out “This Valentine's Day, Get Into Some Really Sexy 'Erotic Kissing'”)???
You can thank science for that too because kissing stimulates the bonding hormone oxytocin, it helps you to decide if you are sexually compatible with someone (no joke and also check out “What Exactly Does It Mean To Be Sexually Compatible?”) and it also produces endorphins that help you to relax and feel really good at the same time.
12. Stay in the Moment
Author Eckhart Tolle once said, “Wherever you are, be there totally.” When it comes to having sex with someone for the first time, if you’re overthinking, you can’t be totally with them. If you’re turning sex into a “performance” instead of an opportunity to simply enjoy the presence of the person you are with, you can’t be totally with them. If you’re worried about the ending before anything has even begun, you can’t be totally with them.
So yes, above all of the other hacks that I’ve mentioned here, determine in your mind to embrace the moment and stay there. If you and your partner go into the experience with this intention, each shared minute of time, taken as they come, can be special, calming, and memorable — just the way a first time should be.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images