Let’s face it, growing older is inevitable, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. With age comes maturity, strength, and wisdom, and it should be embraced, not seen as a hindrance or a part of our lives to be ashamed of. While we can’t stop the natural process of life, we can be proactive about the proper skincare products, tools, and lifestyle choices we can practice to promote healthy and natural aging that allows us to age gracefully with beautiful, healthy skin.
Prior to my 30s, I relied on my melanin-rich skin with minimal effort because, as the saying goes, “Black doesn’t crack.” However, I’ve learned that there’s more to maintaining glowing skin than relying on purely genetics. Preventative measures are crucial in combating the skin's aging process. Fine lines, wrinkles, loose dry skin, hyperpigmentation, and other noticeable forms of aging begin long before you see them, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. Recently, I noticed a change in my skin's texture around my neck that never went away. Slowly panicked once I realized what was happening, the first sign of aging had arrived, and I had no idea what to do or how to reverse it.
From product ingredients to lifestyle choices, there are many factors in how one’s complexion and skin health progresses over time. If you’re reading this, you more than likely have a facial routine or know to at least wash and moisturize your face daily, however, there are simple additions that we can incorporate into our everyday routines.
To provide tips, I’ve enlisted the help of skincare experts to provide the best and most effective products, ingredients, and even foods to achieve your best-looking skin yet.
Meet the Experts
Courtesy of Jordan Karim
Jordan Karim, Founder/Owner of Flora & Noor
Flora & Noor is the first and only halal-certified skincare brand in America with a mission to provide beyond-clean skincare that yields efficacious, fast-acting, and non-irritating results for underrepresented consumers with chronic skin conditions and melanin-rich skin. Inspired and formulated with botanicals and versatile fruits from African and Middle Eastern traditions, their products are clinically effective with clean ingredients that are backed by science and powered by botanicals.
Courtesy of Mona Bahraini
Mona Bahraini, Owner of PPBody
PPBody is skincare simplified with formulas that are true to nature, using the power of cacti to heal. Mona Bahraini, the founder, grew up in Arizona, where they used prickly pear, aka nopales, for everything from eating to topical benefits. As an adult, she discovered the power of the cactus fruit; not only is it a superfood, but the oil extracted from the seed is incredible for your skin. Prickly pear seed oil contains a plethora of vitamins, minerals, plant acids, and fatty acids that provide antioxidant and anti-inflammatory benefits.
1. Do less.
The common notion that less is more is true indeed for most of what we do in life, and skincare is no exception. When becoming more aware of proper ingredients that work well for your skin type, it could all be incredibly simple when achieving and maintaining tight yet supple, youthful-looking skin. “The skin industry has convinced the people that we need to have 4-5 daily products applied on the skin, and our skin is screaming at us 'do less,'” states Mona Bahraini. “You only need one or two powerful natural ingredients on your facial skin to make a significant difference."
2. Don't forget to exfoliate.
As mentioned, our skin naturally sheds and regenerates new skin cells; however, nonabrasive exfoliation is an amazing process that can instantly refresh our complexion by speeding up the natural process with noticeably instant results. “Exfoliating not only eliminates the buildup of dead skin cells but also helps encourage your skin to quicken its cell turnover rate to reveal the healthy skin cells below,” Jordan Karim explains.
However, Bahraini has a slightly different take. “Exfoliation is a tricky subject as the skin industry has convinced us that we need to disrupt and exfoliate constantly with scrubs, masks, cleansers, and the list goes on. Our skin also has a natural process of shedding cells and regeneration that we actually prevent and disrupt by doing everything that is trendy.”
"Our skin also has a natural process of shedding cells and regeneration that we actually prevent and disrupt by doing everything that is trendy.”
She continues, “Most exfoliants strip your skin of the natural oils it needs to help natural skin tissue regeneration and dries out your skin which then means you need to add more product to your face to lubricate it after you strip it, it does not make sense to the body at all, but it sure makes sense to the pockets of big box skin industry.” When it comes to exfoliation, Bahraini suggests going the natural route without stripping the skin of essential oils.
3. Maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Do you notice people who live well past their 80s and 90s typically have one thing in common? Healthy lifestyle habits go a long way, quite literally. Easier said than done, one way to ensure ageless skin is by practicing a lifestyle of self-care from the inside out. “Reduce the amount of alcohol intake and drink more water. Use sunscreen. Have a couple days a week where you do not make healthy food choices, but most days of the week, you should be incorporating walnuts, avocados, blueberries, honey, olive oil, lemon, red onions, fish, deep leafy greens like kale, spinach, and arugula,” Bahraini advises. Easier said than done for most, eliminating alcohol is a long-term solution for achieving ageless skin.
4. Don't forget your neck.
For most women, the first signs of aging begin to appear at both the hands and neck, caused by various environmental stressors. With noticeably dry, thin skin beginning to appear in both of these areas, I frantically began my search for anti-aging ingredients that would tighten and brighten my newfound problem areas. “Vitamin C and Gotu Kola are great ingredients to look for in anti-aging products," Karim shares. "Flora & Noor's Vitamin C Collection will give you tighter, brighter, and hydrated skin which includes a 4-step regimen to promote healthy collagen production using our Boost and Brighten Cleanser, Vitamin C Resurfacing Toner, Bright Side Serum, and the Super Glow Moisturizer."
Courtesy of Flora & Noor
Flora & Noor doesn't use retinol since it's not halal. However, the company created a plant-based alternative. Karim continues, "Gotu kola, a plant-based retinol alternative which, is another great ingredient for anti-aging. Gotu kola's benefits concerning skincare include decreasing aging signs, promoting tighter and firmer skin, and it is anti-inflammatory using nutritional elements, including beta carotene, amino and fatty acids, and phytochemicals to fight aging signs from setting into the skin."
5. Wash with a gentle cleanser.
Using cleansers with harsh and/or toxic ingredients can do more harm than good to our skin, especially as we age. Recently, I discovered an app called Yuka that helps consumers choose healthier products. Yuka scans a range of products from our favorite brands assessing the health benefits with a rating of harmfulness while recommending healthier alternatives. This is a great option for those who want to get a comprehensive breakdown of harmful ingredients that may be in our favorite cleansers.
Courtesy
In addition to Yuka, to avoid products that may do more damage to our delicate skin, Bahraini suggests going back to the basics. "At night, if you wore makeup, use a natural baby shampoo to lightly remove makeup. Most cleansers that remove makeup strip your skin of everything good, which makes your skin's job much harder."
She recommends washing your face with water only, especially if you do not wear makeup, and applying a morning and night oil with only a couple of drops to balance out natural oil production, even with oily skin.
6. Moisturize every day.
Dry skin can significantly advance the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, which is why moisturizing every day is essential to slowing down premature aging. We’ve learned that cleansing can strip our skin of vital oils and nutrients, so following up with a moisturizer traps water in our skin, giving it a more luscious youthful appearance. This should become a routine habit within our skincare regime. However, Bahraini explains it takes more effort than using just any moisturizing product.
Bahraini suggests PPBody’s night and morning formulas reduce wrinkles formation, tighten existing wrinkles, lighten dark spots, minimize bags under the eyes, and provide deep hydration for an ultimate natural glow. “Cream-base moisturizers do not penetrate skin the way oil does as most are stuffed with fluff ingredients and water. Another key ingredient, prickly pear seed oil, is non-comedogenic, which means it does not block pores and fully penetrates all skin types with a plethora of vitamins, minerals, plant acids, and fatty acids that provide antioxidant and anti-inflammatory benefits.”
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Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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