5 Signs He's Dating Other Women
Springtime is here, so are budding new relationships. In terms of dating, this can be a source of great happiness and anxiety, at the same time. Navigating the road to exclusivity is one we tend to tread lightly. Unless you're mature enough to have "the talk" to determine whether or not you two are an official couple, lines can become blurred, leaving you to your own devices to conclude your relationship status. You may also be wondering to yourself, if the guy you're seeing is dating other women.
This is not an all-inclusive list, nor should you end a committed relationship if your partner portrays one or two of these signs, however, you should examine your relationship and speak with your partner to gain insight and clarity on whether or not the two of you are exclusive. If you notice any of these signs, they might be indicators that he is seeing someone other than you.
Usually, sudden/drastic changes in behavior can tip you off that something, some dynamic/element has changed, shifted. And while this isn't always the case (because stress is a factor that also causes change), certain things shouldn't be overlooked.
1.Suddenly He's Always Busy.
When you first started dating, you spent lots of time together, now it seems that he barely has time for you. You couldn't get enough of each other, now you've lost count of how many days it's been since you last saw each other in person or spent quality time together.
2.He Puts His Phone Face Down.
Or better yet, he puts it on silent/DND when he's with you. He'll tell you it's because he wants to give you his undivided attention, but if it's a night at home and not a special occasion or night out on the town, then what gives? I remember calling my ex one regular night we were at home together, that's when I found out he was putting it on DND. It's OK, in my opinion, to have a night of uninterrupted QT with your S.O., but if your man is super protective of his cellular at all times, then that could be a red flag.
3.There's A Change In His Pattern.
Let's be honest, most men are creatures of habit, which means that once they get in a routine, they're pretty predictable. If you've been with your guy for a decent amount of time, I'll bet he probably texts you at the same time every morning and you can probably guess what he's having for lunch. But once their daily habits start to change, specifically, their communication patterns, this coud be a cause for concern. If your man starts working later hours or becomes more concerned with how he looks or smells before he goes to work (it's the bottle of cologne in the car for me), then he may indeed be working OT, but in a whole different capacity.
4.You Catch Him In An Obvious Lie.
This may sound obvious but there's more to it than that. Catching someone in a lie is a general rule of disloyalty, but it's not so much that you catch them in a lie but more so about how they react to you addressing them about it. In a previous relationship, I called my guy one evening and he rushed me off the phone claiming that he was at an event with his daughter (you know, because men can always use their kids as an excuse with no rebuttal).
While it must have slipped his mind that he told me two days prior that the two of them had already visited the annual event, had he not reacted in the manner that he did, I might not have second-guessed his excuse. But the fact that he did, gave me a reason to be suspicious.
5.He Is Protective Of His Space.
First things first, there's nothing wrong with being protective of a space that you maintain and pay the bills in. But when you're in a committed relationship with a man, the least you should be able to leave at his house is a toothbrush and a few self-care items. I'm not suggesting you stock the man's bathroom with feminine hygiene products, but maybe a few essential items on a shelf. If you want to try this theory out, I suggest you try and subtly leave behind a piece of jewelry or toiletry at his home. This could also apply to household gifts you give him, such as a framed picture or sentimental item you make for him. If it's there upon your return, then you may have a keeper. This theory isn't foolproof, though. However, typically, if you can "leave your mark" behind, it means either he didn't notice or no one else has been there to notice it, either.
There's a popular saying of "where there is smoke, there is a fire." Although these indicators are not absolute in predicting an unfaithful mate, they are tell-tale signs that warrant caution. I want to be clear that these rules are intended to be put in place for couples who are committed and exclusive, rather than just dating.
Dating, in my opinion, is intended for the purpose of getting to know people and who may be a good match for you. But no one wants to waste time with a man who is clearly still entertaining other women. And that's on Mary had a little lamb.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Why He Won't Ever Commit To You - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- Signs He Wants You To Break Up With Him - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Dating Mistakes You Need To Stop Making Immediately - xoNecole ... ›
- What Happens After The Third Date - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- 5 Signs You're In Love & He's Not - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- 6 Things To Consider Before "Seriously Casually Dating" Someone ... ›
Also known as The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw for her relentless love of shoes and emotionally unavailable men, DeJa K. Johnson is unapologetic in her pursuits to find love, happiness, and orgasms. A graduate of UA Little Rock, DeJa earned a Master's degree in Applied Communication with an emphasis on Interpersonal & Romantic relationships. She is also the founder of TheBreakupSpace.com, a safe space for men and women who need help getting over the loss of a romantic relationship. To connect, you can find her on all social media @TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw or send her an email to love@TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com.
Take Our 2-Minute Wellness Quiz To Up Your Self-Care Game!
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
Want to discover where you are on your wellness journey? You don't have to look far. In partnership with European Wax Center, we're bringing you a customized wellness quiz to help you up your wellness game. Answer our short series of questions to figure out which type of wellness lover you are, what you need to bring more balance into your life, and then go deeper by shopping products geared towards clearing your mind, healing your body, and soothing your spirit.
Ready to get whole? Take our quiz now!
Sabrina Dhowre Elba Admits To Not Initially Knowing Who Idris Elba Was When They Met
Model and entrepreneur Sabrina Elba recently recalled the intimate moments surrounding the fateful day she first encountered her husband, Idris Elba.
The couple, who have been together since 2017, met at a jazz bar in Vancouver when Idris was working on his film Mountain Between Us. Years later, in April 2019, following a whirlwind romance, Sabrina and Idris would tie the knot in Morocco.
Since then, the pair's love story has become "couple goals" among many for various reasons. The list includes the numerous times Sabrina and Idris have showcased their love on social media. Another factor contributing to the duo's likability is that Sabrina and Idris have displayed over the years that being with the right partner can elevate one's career or passion in life.
Sabrina and Idris have collaborated professionally in several businesses, including their Coupledom podcast and skincare brand S'Able Labs. In a June interview on Jemele Hill's Unbothered podcast, the 34-year-old opened up about the events leading up to when she met Idris and how she initially didn't know who he was.
Sabrina on Meeting Idris
Sabrina, who was living in Vancouver at the time, said that the same night Idris was in town, she went out to a jazz bar for an event called Slow Jam Sunday for a friend’s birthday.
Around that time, the model was getting over a breakup and claimed she wasn't interested in a relationship because of how badly her previous one ended. In a past interview, Idris revealed that he, too, just went through a breakup before meeting Sabrina.
"This is so funny. I [had] just gotten out of a really bad relationship, so I was not this person. I was like 'men are trash. They suck.' I'm literally ready to switch it on up or something because I was so over it," she said. "I come to this party with a night off at work that I prebooked because I was working literally every weekend. But it was my girlfriend's birthday party, so I was there kind of by chance."
Sabrina also revealed that, coincidently, the night she took off for her friend's birthday celebration was the same night Idris had the day off and was convinced by his stunt double to attend Slow Jam Sunday.
"Slow Jam Sundays is an amazing night in Vancouver. It's the one night I would probably go to, but you wouldn't see me out often because I was a weekend worker. I was working at restaurants and service industry, your weekends are taken up," she stated.
"Idris was filming this film in Vancouver and had one night off in Vancouver because most of it was filmed sort of up north in the mountains. His stunt double convinced him to go to Slow Jam Sundays. By chance, we were both there."
Further into the interview, Sabrina disclosed that her friend was interested in Idris at first and went to flirt with him. However, the Daddy's Little Girls star dismissed the friend's advances because Sabrina had caught his eye.
When Sabrina's friend informed her about what happened, she admitted that although she tried to put up a front for her friend's sake, the S'Able Labs CEO was happy because she thought he was also attractive. Following the discussion, Sabrina and her friend went to the section where Idris was, and the couple realized how much they had in common, from the music choices to their background.
"So I go over, and we have like one of those conversations that you just feel like you've known this person for ten years because we're singing the same songs. When a song comes on that I love, he's like, 'I love this song.' I'm like, 'what?' Like I just had this like cultural connection. He's African. I'm like,' Where are you from?'" she said.
Sabrina On Not Knowing Who Idris Was After Meeting Him
As the topic shifted to Idris' celebrity status, Sabrina explained that she didn't know who he was until after it was brought to her attention by a few people she met outside of the bar.
"When I went outside, I realized because there's a group of people there, they're like, 'Oh, you're talking to Idris Elba,'" she stated.
When asked about how well-known the actor was when they met, Sabrina shared that Idris was widely famous in America but not so much in Canada and that the one film she saw him in was the 2009 thriller Obsessed.
Sabrina would add that even after being told who Idris was, she couldn't recollect where she knew him from until her friends mentioned the movie.
"Well, so the film that I had seen was Obsessed... I feel Idris Elba now he gets recognized so much. In that moment, unless you were kind of in that zeitgeist, he was definitely a lot more popular in America," she said. "I don't think I would've known it even when they said that was him. I was trying to remember, like, my friends were like, 'yeah, he's from Obsessed.' We're like, 'Oh, yeah.'"
After figuring out who Idris was, Sabrina shared that when she re-entered the venue, she doubted a relationship would form between them given his occupation, the short timeline he would be there to shoot his movie, and the constant temptation that could flock around him due to his status. But despite Sabrina's uncertainty, they would exchange numbers before she left.
"So I went back inside, we started chatting some more, and he was like, 'Let me take your number.' I was like, 'Alright,' and then I left," she stated.
The model explained the reason why she left the event was that her friend, whose birthday she was celebrating, wanted to check out other spots. When the night was coming to an end, Sabrina hailed a taxi to go home when she received a phone call from Idris. The entrepreneur revealed that the Takers star stopped her from entering the cab and urged her to get in the car he was driving, and they spent the whole night talking until 8 a.m.
"I got in his car, and we spoke till like 8 a.m. easy. It was probably like 2 [a.m.] at that time. We just had the most intense, amazing conversation," she said. "It was the first time I ever connected with someone to the point where I was like, I went home the next day called my friends, I was like, 'I think I found my soulmate.'"
Sabrina revealed that from that fateful night, she and Idris became inseparable. The couple would be long-distance for a brief stint of their union until they acknowledged how difficult it was to maintain that type of relationship. Sabrina ultimately decided to move in with Idris although she was skeptical at first, she claimed it was one of the best decisions she's made because she found her "soulmate."
Sabrina Elba's First Night with Idris Elba Sounds Like a Romance MovieModel and philanthropist Sabrina Elba joins Jemele to discuss her marriage to actor Idris Elba, and their heartwarming, love at first sight origin story.SUBS...
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Dave Benett/Getty Images for Space NK