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'Mythic Quest'’s Imani Hakim Wants To Remind Us To Take Care & Take A Beat
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
I remember waking up and turning on my TV to catch a new episode of Everybody Hates Chris in high school. If you would have told me that I would be interviewing Imani Hakim, who played Tonya, the little sister of Chris on the show, I wouldn't have believed you. Now in 2021, Imani Hakim is a grown woman and is making her mark in the TV/film industry. Since the show, Imani has landed roles such as portraying Olympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas in Lifetime's award winning TV movie, The Gabby DouglasStory and a role in 2017 film Burning Sands.
Currently, you can watch her on the AppleTV+ series Mythic Quest. A series that explores life at a top video game company within a set of an overworked and determined team of programmers and coders. Being a person that is interested in gaming herself, Imani couldn't have been more thrilled when casted for the role on Mythic Quest. Imani is proudly showing representation and bringing much-needed awareness to Black women entering the video and STEM world unapologetically.
Now, I can talk all day about Imani's amazing career growth and her contributions to society. But what I wanted to know more about was how she is taking care of herself on a daily basis. We are all human, after all. And as humans, we need certain things to keep moving, to keep grinding, and to keep our inner peace.
Courtesy of Ruben Badua
When I was able to chat with Ms. Hakim, we couldn't have been more aligned with understanding the importance of prioritizing self-care. As Imani has navigated through the industry since being a child actor, she has learned to always show up as herself authentically. Part of that is to pour back into yourself when it is necessary. We can get lost in the day to day sometimes and we should remember to take a beat.
After my chat with Imani, she expressed, "I really love that I had the opportunity to reflect. I think that it's important because actors and entertainers are put on a pedestal. People forget that we are still human. So when you are asking the deep questions, it reminds people that life is happening to and for us as well. We also have to find moments of self-care."
In this installment of Finding Balance, we talk to Imani Hakim about being authentically yourself, love languages, and the importance of taking a break.
xoNecole: Since your role in 'Everybody Hates Chris', how has it been navigating through the television and filming industry as a Black woman?
Imani Hakim: Well, the industry was different when I first got started. I think I was very lucky with kicking off my career the way that I did. I booked Everyone Hates Chris within three months after moving to Los Angeles and that is not a common thing. So my view of what the industry was like was skewed compared to what it actually was. As I was transitioning from that role and getting older, I was faced with some challenges like colorism and seeing a role I auditioned for being given to someone who is white. I really had to check-in with myself because it does something to your confidence. You try to make yourself more palatable for the industry, but I learned that I ultimately had to show up to the table authentically and not as someone else. It was a bumpy ride, but it was a necessary ride I had to go through.
With your current role as Dana in the AppleTV+ series 'Mythic Quest', what has it taught you about the importance of black women in the STEM field?
Imani: Fun fact about me is that I consider myself a nerd (laughs). I write myself and one of the first pilot scripts I have ever written was about a female gamer. So when Mythic Quest came, I was like WOW, this is perfect (smiles). To be able to play a role like Dana, who is a black female gamer, is so vital and important. Representation in the STEM field matters. There are plenty of young girls and boys who watch this show and can say to themselves, "I can be that!" I didn't have that kind of representation growing up and I feel honored to be that representation for others.
What piece of advice would you give other black women who are pursuing the acting world that you wish someone told when you were starting out?
Imani: Be yourself. Do not feel like you have to water yourself down for anyone. Authenticity is your superpower and be unapologetic about it. One thing that I've learned as I got older is that once you do that, it will get you further than you think.
At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
Imani: It is so important to me to press pause. A few years ago, I had that moment of 'this isn't everything'. I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship. I realized that I put my focus on my relationship and I made myself available for my career. I didn't take breaks, I missed out on events with friends and family, etc. I was burnt out. I told myself that I had to find some sort of balance. I made a commitment to myself to allow myself to live my life and still be successful. I can have it all! When I am able to take those breaks and communicate that to my partner or my team, I am a better person and I am a better actor because of it.
"As I was transitioning from that role and getting older, I was faced with some challenges like colorism and seeing a role I auditioned for being given to someone who is white. I really had to check-in with myself because it does something to your confidence. You try to make yourself more palatable for the industry, but I learned that I ultimately had to show up to the table authentically and not as someone else."
Courtesy of Ruben Badua
What are your mornings like?
Imani: So a typical morning for me is I wake up and I do not touch my phone. I make sure I give myself time to stretch and move my body. I give gratitude to my body and I am intentional about being present. After that, I brush my teeth, grab some coffee, do some reading, and then I work out. If I have time to include meditation, then I do that as well.
How do you wind down at night?
Imani: With literal wine (laughs). I like to watch anime with my partner or a movie we haven't seen. I also like to play chess if I'm feeling frisky (laughs).
Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
Imani: My favorite type of self-care practices are things like skincare or moisturizing my hair. I really make a thing out of it. I will light some candles, pour some wine, change the lighting, and really set the mood. I take my time with it and it's such a good vibe.
"I made a commitment to myself to allow myself to live my life and still be successful. I can have it all! When I am able to take those breaks and communicate that to my partner or my team, I am a better person and I am a better actor because of it."
Courtesy of Ruben Badua
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Imani: When my friends talk, I listen. It starts there. I think sometimes when we are with the people that we love, we don't give them our undivided attention. So I try to be intentional about that. I also make sure I book out, so I am able to show up for my friends and attend different events with them.
Love/Relationships?
Imani: One of my favorite things is knowing about your love languages. Once you figure out how to show them love through that, it is really easy to fit those moments into your life. What my partner and I do is communicate how the other wants to be loved. My top love language is physical touch and his is acts of service. So without saying a word, I will clean the apartment or cook him a meal to let him know that I care. I think for any relationship, whether it is romantic or platonic, you should discover the love languages for the people in your life.
Exercise?
Imani: During the pandemic, I really got into walking because it was really hard to find the motivation to be active. As I kept walking, one mile turned into miles. Then three miles of walking turned into four miles. I think people underestimate the benefits of walking, I know I did. We really need that Vitamin D. Walking feels really good on my body and for my mental as well. It's a time to just be with myself, sweat a little bit, move my limbs, and listen to a podcast or something.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
Imani: The way that I tend to handle those moments is I take a moment. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I really practice asking myself, "What do I need right now?" If I can't find the answer and I am too in my head about it, then I give myself a break to gain some clarity. I also like to talk to my partner and vent about how I am feeling to him. At the end of the day, it's about taking a beat. I think sometimes when we are feeling uncertain or feeling doubtful, we have a tendency to jump into action. When in actuality you need to breathe into it. Sometimes, do nothing and the answer will come to you.
"I think sometimes when we are feeling uncertain or feeling doubtful, we have a tendency to jump into action. When in actuality you need to breathe into it. When in actuality you need to breathe into it. Sometimes, do nothing and the answer will come to you."
Courtesy of Ruben Badua
And honestly, what does success and happiness mean to you?
Imani: Success means to me stability, joy, and passion. If I am stable and I am able to give myself the essentials, then that is success. Happiness is peace and acceptance of what is.
To learn more about Imani Hakim, follow her on Instagram here.
Featured image courtesy of Ruben Badua
'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
'Dear Black Girls': How A'ja Wilson Is Helping Black Girls Heal & Bloom With Confidence
In recent years, books written by Black women, such as Viola Davis, Michelle Obama, and Taraji P. Henson, have adorned our shelves and shown the great trials and tribulations one has had to endure to become the woman we see today. Though their narratives show great accomplishments, they explain in detail the price that had to be paid to achieve their monumental success. Often, this price came at the cost of having to endure unspeakable tragedy. The world was being carried on their shoulders and backs, and they had to learn to balance the weight of it all. Despite the odds, they managed to grow and become exceptionally talented women with limited support or, most of the time, alone.
However, in A'ja Wilson's recently published book, Dear Black Girls, this narrative is changing for the better. The memoir shows that WNBA superstar, and growing legend, A'ja Wilson isn't just a force to reckon with on the court, racking up championships, MVP awards, Olympic gold, and season-record-breaking accomplishments. Her impact transcends the game, reaching into the hearts of young Black women and girls, who like me might have once felt a pang of otherness for embracing their inner tomboy.
Wilson's recently published book offered a powerful remedy, a story that mirrored my own experiences and gently soothed the wounds of not always fitting in. This collection of honest stories is not just about Wilson's journey, it's also a book that holds the potential to heal and inspire countless other Black girls who deserve to see themselves reflected in the pages of a champion.
Although Wilson discusses the tribulations she had to overcome, she didn't have to do them alone and often had more than one support system installed to ensure her success. This book ultimately shows the beauty that grows when Black girls are raised with nourishment, intentionality, and understanding rather than the unrelenting grief and sadness that many believe are necessary to raise Black girls.
In Dear Black Girls: How to Be True to You, the two-time MVP shows us that love, rather than unending tragedy, can be the source of success for all Black girls--past, present, and future. Wilson also shows us how love can occasionally come from an unexpected source--a stranger who only has compassion, empathy, and understanding to offer.
Living While Black
There comes a point in time, in every Black girl's life, where they learn that they are not just a girl, but a Black girl. For me, it was on the playground of my elementary school, where a white girl--who I thought was my friend--called me the n-word when I refused to join her in a fight against a mutual friend. For A'ja Wilson, it was when her "friend" refused to invite her to her house for a sleepover, unless she slept outside. When asked why she had to be the only one to sleep outside, she was quickly informed it had been due to her race. Though her parents discussed it with her and explained why she and the young lady could no longer be friends, A'ja Wilson offers a relatable lens to express the grief of realizing one's otherness.
The year she discovered her Blackness meant a difference, Wilson felt alone and began isolating herself. It wasn't until she met a woman who worked in the cafeteria that she understood the importance of being seen by someone who looked like her. In Dear Black Girls, Wilson teaches the importance of representation and finding someone who "looks like you" and actively cares and checks in with you. Though the young readers of this book will most likely never meet Wilson, she provides her novel as a stand-in role model who actively sees how alone some Black girls feel in the world and tells them lovely: "I see you, I got you."
Finding Oneself
There is a certain power in discovering one's "why." In Dear Black Girls, Wilson explains that in order to find oneself or one's reasons for doing things, it might be important to look to your elders. The ones that could make you believe in yourself. For Wilson, it was her grandmother. Her grandmother was her place of solace and the person she felt closest to. Before she picked up the game of basketball, A'ja's grandmother believed she was special and would achieve so many things in life.
Through this belief, she nurtured Wilson and taught her to believe in the good that everyone had to possess. She taught Wilson that Black women could be heroes, and knew how to "walk the walk" and "talk the talk." She taught Wilson, and in turn, Wilson has taught Black girls, that finding oneself can be done at the hands of the ones that we love. And that if one's love is strong enough, we can "freeze it, and preserve that safe space forever."
It's Okay to Be Different
In school, Wilson was considered a "slow learner." Diagnosed with dyslexia at the late age of 16, she believed she had not been as "smart" as the other kids. Wilson would freeze up in class, and despite loving to write narratives and the school itself, she found she did not catch on with her peers as quickly as she liked. She spent hours on end stressing about being different, so much so, that at times the thought of her otherness became debilitating and all-consuming. With her family and in her solitude, she understood who she was. However, among her friends and in class, she found that she didn't know who she was, nor who they wanted her to be.
From this, she taught Black girls that being a teen is stressful enough, so being oneself should be easily embraced. Though, she admits to not knowing the right thing to say, do, or act, and therefore is unable to give us "cheat codes," the best thing a young Black girl can do, is just be.
Find Your Gardener
I often say that Black women have learned to grow without nourishment. So, in reading Dear Black Girl, it was a refreshing change of pace to read that Wilson had been adorned with love, guidance, honesty, and protection by strong support systems in her life. One of those support systems was Wilson's father. Her father taught her many things in life, but one that was most essential was the importance of perseverance and overcoming mediocrity. See, despite being the best in her career, Wilson and basketball did not mesh well from the start. Instead, she had been known to try many things and was lackluster at best.
Nevertheless, when Wilson was told that she did not play well by her father--after asking why she wasn't getting any playing time--she finally learned to overcome her challenges.
Not because she suddenly practiced more, or believed she could do anything with time. She became better because her father gave her the option to walk away from the sport. He allowed her to be scared, to be unsure of what she wanted in life, and freed her of the stress of absolutes. Through encouragement, he became her gardener--always trying to bring out the best in her through "easy" and "tough" love. In Dear BlackGirls, Wilson encourages Black girls to find their "gardeners," the people in their lives who bring out the best in them, drive them crazy and are never afraid to tell them how it is. The person that pulls out all of the weeds and negativity, and leaves enough space for you to receive sunlight and bloom.
Gaining a Nonsense Detector
While finding a gardener, Wilson also encourages Black girls to find or gain a "nonsense detector." A nonsense detector is just as it sounds, someone who can detect the nonsense that the world is attempting to bring to them and help them identify what it truly is. They are the person who is willing to approach a spade and call it by its name. In Wilson's life, this was her mother. A'ja's mom encouraged her to think logically about her education and its relationship to her basketball career.
She was the person Wilson called when she learned to drive in a new state or deal with the stress of her newfound career. Through her mother's encouragement, she learned not to chase after boys or some concept of a new sense of self, instead, she learned to make decisions with her best interest in mind. In doing so, she chose family, which meant more time with her grandmother, which she would not have had if she hadn't learned to listen to something that encourages no-nonsense.
Grief Has No Timeline, Knows No Bounds
In 2017, during her junior year of college, A'ja Wilson was known as one of the best players in the NCAA. After two seasons of coming up short of winning a national title, she had finally accomplished her goal of winning with Dawn Staley's South Caroline Gamecocks. However, the win was bittersweet, because the champ had been grieving the loss of her grandmother, one of her biggest support systems.
During this time, Wilson discovered that grief could not be neatly packed away in a box, waiting to be unraveled when she had prepared to deal with it. She noted that it was an unending rollercoaster where lows felt all-consuming and endless.
In Dear Black Girls, Wilson discusses the importance of experiencing grief at its pace, and on your own timeline. She explains to young Black girls that the feeling of despair and paralysis is normal and that instead of trying to climb out of the sadness, sometimes it is beneficial to wade through it, with the people you care about. Not only this, she encourages Black girls to embrace support that may be considered unexpected, through a beautiful anecdote involving Dawn Staley.
The champ mentioned the coach drove down to her house, upon hearing about the death of her grandmother, and sat in silence with the athlete as she cried. She informed her that she could take all of the time that she needed and that the "team would be waiting for her when she was ready to return."
You Don't Know What You Don't Know
The issue that many people hold today is they expect to be perfect. Though we know perfection is merely a concept, and the only thing perfect about perfection is the word itself, many dwell on being perfect and having the foresight to ensure it is so. When perfection is inevitably unattainable, we punish ourselves for not knowing better or being fallible. Nevertheless, dwelling on things, especially in relation to being perfect, is nothing more than wasted energy.
In Dear Black Girls, Wilson--through a humorous anecdote of her WNBA drafting day--points out that everyone makes mistakes and that many should not be ashamed for not knowing what they hadn't known before. Instead, beauty lies in learning and giving oneself credit for the knowledge that you now have for navigating future situations. Instead of beating yourself up, Wilson tells young Black girls there is no point in beating themselves up and to allow grace in moments of uncertainty and error.
Protect and Nurture Your Mental Health
The idea of seeking therapy is often a hurdle for Black women. With societal expectations and generational aversions, the concept of the "strong Black woman" often overpowers the necessary, and sometimes dire assistance Black women should seek. In Dear Black Girls, A'ja Wilson points out that most Black women are the first, or one of few, in their families to accomplish significant achievements, such as going to college, getting a corporate job, or making a high-figured salary.
This results in pressure that cannot be seen as relatable by family members, and often results in anxiety disorders, growing, unrelenting pressure, and crippling stress. To solve this, Wilson encourages Black girls to seek help outside of themselves and their friends, to ensure they are not taking on the weight of the world, simply because it was placed on their shoulders. Black women need someone to talk to, especially when it has been ingrained since birth that we should nurture and care for everyone but ourselves. By seeking a therapist, this narrative can change, and the idea of being a "strong Black woman" can come from the idea of learning to be vulnerable and asking for help.
Be Your Own Hero
It is heroic to take control of your own life. Being your own hero gives you confidence and reassurance to face obstacles directly, to follow your passion, and to define success how you see fit. It can be powerful and gratifying to become the best version of yourself and to allow yourself to be. In Dear Black Girls, Wilson teaches Black girls their final lesson, "If you can see them [your heroes], then you can be them." Many Black girls do not seek certain positions in life because they have never seen people who look like them in certain positions.
Nevertheless, Wilson explains the importance of having and seeking out representation, either in life or in media. Then, she encourages young girls to pursue that life they dream of, because anything is attainable with hard effort and--most importantly--love.
Check out A'ja Wilson and the 2024 Paris Women's Basketball Olympic team from July 26 through August 11.
xoNecole's I Read It So You Don't Have To is a recurring series of self-discovery that breaks down self-help books into a toolkit of takeaways and tips that are meant to assist you in finding the best life you can live. Take what works for you, and leave everything else where it is.
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