In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
When growing up, we have so many examples of what a relationship looks like. We see how our parent(s) act when they are in love, we watch TV sitcom couples like Martin and Gina, and we even get front row seats to see our friends go through their romantic relationships. So, when it is our turn to pick our partner, we assume we have everything figured out. But when it comes to love, sometimes we need a bit of help. That is where Magnetic Matchmaker and Relationship Expert, Spicy Mari comes in to help guide you towards your purpose-mate.
Spicy Mari is the CEO and founder of The Spicy Life. The Spicy Life is a relationship consulting firm where she teaches the S.P.I.C.Y. (Self, Passion, Intimacy, Communication and learning to say "Yes,") Fundamentals to her clients in order for them to form and maintain healthy fulfilling relationships. Spicy has mastered the power behind deep connections through a B.A. in Communications from the University of California-Berkeley, an M.A. in Communication from USC, and a dating certification from the International Dating Coach Association. Spicy currently has an upcoming e-course where she is providing a six-week program of her proven S.P.I.C.Y. method.
Courtesy of Spicy Mari
What we all have to remember is that, when you are in a relationship, loving our partners does not mean we should forget about loving ourselves. When we commit to living our lives focused on our dreams and our "why", we attract the right person who will support us along the way. Spicy is a true believer in self-love. She understands how prioritizing self-love within your daily routine is the best way to find that balance.
In this installment of Finding Balance, we talk to Spicy Mari about the power of affirmations, healthy relationships, and the importance of recharging to ultimately find balance.
xoNecole: What is your WHY?
Spicy Mari: My mission in life is to restore the family unit. I believe I was put on this earth to educate and empower women and men in order to have healthy relationships. I want to break generational curses as well. I come from an upbringing where I witnessed my mother being married multiple times. I saw how it affected how she perceived her value. So at an early age, I began to study and research the fundamentals that you need in order to be successful in relationships. Now, I can teach that to the masses. Connecting with your purpose-mate has the ability to help you achieve self-actualization.
At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
I learned about pressing pause early on because I saw the ramifications of not filling up my cup. It's important to fill up your love cup first before feeling you have the abundance to pour love into other people. It was during college where I really started to prioritize self-care. If I don't do it for myself, nobody else will. But when I first started my business, I threw myself in there full throttle.
At a moment, I started to notice my hair was breaking off, skin was bad, and I gained extra weight. I couldn't even recognize myself. That was when I realized that I was pouring into others and stopped pouring into myself. So now when things get crazy with work, I have to remind myself to apply those self-care practices that I educate to my clients. Every now and then I say to myself, "Spicy go take a walk (laughs)."
What is a typical day/week in your life?
My weeks are crazy. The one thing I do like about my weeks is that they are consistent… but with craziness (laughs). So I always start my morning working out and saying my affirmations. I set my intentions for the day. After that, I have my client consultations and perform screening processes for potential clients to see if they are ready for the program. Then, I record for my podcast, editing, and a couple more client sessions.
Throughout the day, I am still connecting with my team and answering any emergency calls my current clients may have and need advice from me. I have made my husband and I dinner sometime in there too (laughs). But my day usually doesn't end until midnight.
"I started to notice my hair was breaking off, skin was bad, and I gained extra weight. I couldn't even recognize myself. That was when I realized that I was pouring into others and stopped pouring into myself. So now when things get crazy with work, I have to remind myself to apply those self-care practices that I educate to my clients."
Courtesy of Spicy Mari
Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
My favorite self-care practice is hiking. I LOVE to hike. Whenever I have energy to burn or I am feeling stressed, I am taking myself on a hike. I like to do it myself because that is my time to pray, talk to God, and regroup. After my hikes, I always feel recharged and ready to take on the next thing.
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
I like to affirm myself throughout the day. So in-between clients, I tell myself how amazing I am, how gifted I am, and remind myself that God gave me this task because he knew that I would be able to handle it. So having that conversation with yourself, whether it's an affirmation or an actual dialogue for two minutes, helps you be able to control your thoughts throughout the day. When you are able to control your thoughts, you have a better handle on your emotions. Once you have mastered that, you can show up for others better.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
I try to stress the notion with my clients that just because you get into a relationship or start dating, does not mean you leave your friends to the wayside. The same mindset we have for dating our romantic partners, we should still be dating our friends. So for me, with balancing my friendships, I have a shared calendar with my friends.
My friends and I put scheduled events/make reservations to certain restaurants. We also started a book club to hold each other accountable and to check in. My friend group and I make sure that when we are checking in, we are still pouring into each other and sharing any best practices that could help our group in everyday life.
Love/Marriage?
I'm not going to lie, this is actually something that is very challenging for me. I am an alpha woman and we tend to have this strong masculine mindset. Being married to an alpha man, I have had to learn to sit in my feminine. So when my laptop is closed, I have to give my partner that level of attention that makes him feel happy or loved.
I also try to make sure I check in on him daily and I am not talking about the "how was your day" check-in. I am talking about those intimate conversations where we can talk about family, relationship goals, and affirming him on how much he means to me. I like our balance where my husband brings security and I bring the passion/romance.
"I am an alpha woman and we tend to have this strong masculine mindset. Being married to an alpha man, I have had to learn to sit in my feminine. I like our balance where my husband brings security and I bring the passion/romance."
Courtesy of Spicy Mari
Health?
Health has always been a top priority for me. I try to work out 4-5 times a week. But now that I am expecting a baby boy, it has been a lot harder to work out, OK? (Laughs) I have been challenging myself to put workout time on my calendar. I also work with my personal trainer and abundance mindset coach to push me and encourage me to keep going, even when I am not feeling my best.
Wow you’re expecting? Congratulations! When it comes to preparing for motherhood, what types of self-care practices have become more important for you than before?
Now this may sound unorthodox, but I believe sex is a part of self-care (laughs). There are so many health benefits to the female orgasm. I don't think us women incorporate that enough into our self-care regimen. I mean sex is how we got pregnant in the first place (laughs). But to continue having sex and keeping that part of my marriage alive during my pregnancy is a must.
I hear that! Now when it comes to self-care for your child, how do you plan on teaching your son the importance of self-care?
One thing that I think is important to know is who we are, what we want, and what we have to offer. Being clear on that will help my son in relationships, career, and friendships. But another thing I am super excited to teach my son is his cultural background. I am Black and Mexican and his father is Jamaican. So with the self-love component, I want my son to be proud of his heritage. That confidence in your culture really helped me growing up, so I know it will help him too.
Honestly, what does success and happiness mean to you?
Happiness for me is a state of peace. Happiness is knowing that I set myself on a path where I have set my intentions and I am still proud of myself, even if I don't hit the mark. Success is hitting the mark (laughs). Success is blowing ish out of the park. When you set goals for yourself and you make that checklist, I find success in being able to check those things off that list. So it is not necessarily those long-term goals. But even those short-term goals that help you see things come into fruition, which guide you towards your long-term goals.
To learn more about Spicy Mari, follow her on instagram @spicymari. You can also listen to The Spicy Life Podcast, here.
Featured image courtesy of Spicy Mari
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Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
