Amber Howard is the Head of Talent at TalentX Gaming (TXG), a talent management company specifically built for gaming and esports athletes and streamers, and has now made it her mission to shake the rooms of status quo, diversity and inclusion within the gaming industry.
While only 45% of all U.S. gamers are women, Amber has already demonstrated her commitment to highlighting diversity in the esports and gaming industry by including a diverse A-list roster of esports athletes, gaming influencers, creators, and streamers such as Latina gamer and activist Natalie "ZombiUnicorn" Casanova.
Not to mention, the boss babe herself is responsible for executing a brand deal between Converse and PAX West, Univision's multi-cultural creators' network by creating all aspects of the business development and talent procurement model, and brand deals with Apple, Epic Games, and Paramount.
In a recent chat, xoNecole caught up with TalentX Gaming's newly appointed Head of Talent about being a boss Black woman in the esports and gaming industry, bringing diversity to the misogynistic industry, and her vision for the future of esports.
xoNecole: What initially sparked your interest in esports?
Amber Howard: While working at IMG, they announced the hiring of an esports agent. A short time later, Riot Games was hosting a League of Legends championship at the Staples Center. I was completely blown away that they sold out the Staples Center in less than an hour. Thinking back, it had to actually be anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes. As a Lakers fan, I understood the significance, given how big the Staples Center is, it usually doesn't sell out unless it's a Championship or playoff game. My interest was sparked from that moment on, and I started looking into gaming and esports more. Shortly after, I took a job at the biggest gaming multi-channel network (MCN) in the world at the time, Machinima, and it was a great opportunity for me to dive into gaming.
What are you currently doing in your role as the new Head of Talent at TXG to ensure and actively bring diversity into this industry?
Diversity is something that is important to me and it's something I actively strive for in all aspects of life. Growing up, I took an interest in watching Pam Oliver on TV who would interview my favorite athletes. Watching her intrigued me, I knew that there were great opportunities if I could break through. As I've continued in my career, it's been important for me to make sure that representation is always at the forefront…seeing people who look like you doing things you and the world both think are exciting matters. As Head of Talent at TXG, my primary focus has been making sure we're recruiting great talent and making sure that we are bringing diversity to the roster.
I've made it my mission to do so, by signing A-list talent, streamers and creators who are diverse, and using my resources to give them the recognition and spotlight they genuinely deserve. It's very easy to go after the top ten percent of talent within the industry, but in order for us to actually bring in diverse talent, we have to actively search and seek them out. We also need to ensure diverse talent have the tools necessary to be successful, so they can grow and be seen as higher tier talent in the industry. Essentially, it's about finding the talent and giving them opportunities to grow. To be sure we're abiding by this in our recruiting efforts, I'm constantly reiterating to my team that we are a creator-first company and need to include all races, genders and people from diverse backgrounds. To ensure we achieve this, I make it my priority to provide my team with the tools needed to achieve this goal.
Courtesy of Amber Howard
"As I've continued in my career, it's been important for me to make sure that representation is always at the forefront…seeing people who look like you doing things you and the world both think are exciting matters. As Head of Talent at TXG, my primary focus has been making sure we're recruiting great talent and making sure that we are bringing diversity to the roster."
Did you have any reservations when going into this role knowing that there was a lack of diversity and representation?
No, because there is unfortunately a lack of diversity across every industry. The lack of diversity exists in traditional sports and entertainment, so I knew gaming would be no different. It's unfortunate and, for me, sadly pretty common but I'm strong enough and willing to undertake all that comes with the circumstances in order to press on. I know TalentX Gaming and ReTKGlobal have the resources in order to elevate and highlight diverse talent. I had no reservations taking this role, because I'm confident in the resources I have available as well as my skill set to get the job done.
With your career, how have you seen Black women be mistreated, talked down to or sexually harassed in the workplace?
I personally can't speak to that, because I'm typically the only one or one of two! As a woman working with other women, I've witnessed the unequal treatment of other women and for a long time we had to sit back and take it. I'm happy to be in a time where women have a voice and are being heard.
Have you, yourself, ever experienced or been a victim of such?
I've spent the majority of my career in male-dominated workplaces, which did not go without challenges as a female to be heard, recognized and respected. It's unfortunate, but as women, that's something we experience and often told to just accept that's how it is. It's necessary to be strategic about showcasing your value, ensuring that your voice is heard and it has just as much validity as any male or white male counterpart. Being a Black woman certainly does not make it any easier, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Being a Black woman in gaming is an added perk, and I've learned to position myself in such a way that who I am is seen.
Courtesy of Amber Howard
"It's necessary to be strategic about showcasing your value, ensuring that your voice is heard and it has just as much validity as any male or white male counterpart. Being a Black woman certainly does not make it any easier, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."
What do you believe work environments can do better to protect Black women?
I think work environments can honestly do a better job at protecting every woman, especially Black and minority women. I've seen how Black and minority women, all generally experience a lot of the same pitfalls in comparison to our white counterparts. As Black women, we're sometimes even at a level, that is a step lower than some of our white female counterparts, only because we're Black. So, I believe that more can be done. I believe companies should ensure that there is diversity training throughout their company, from HR to the executive board.
Also, ensuring there are engaging activities and inclusion programs that are organic and a part of the company culture. We see a lot of companies doing so now, because of what's happening in society, but diversity councils were not commonplace until recently. It's also important to not only ensure that more Black women are hired, but they are placed in positions where they are seen and truly valued for their contributions. We need more Black women in leadership roles who are being recognized for their contributions with articles such as this.
What do you hope for the future of Black female executives in esports and gaming?
I think the tide is starting to change and we're seeing a little bit of it. We're starting to see more Black and women of color in gaming and esports. I've worked with amazing women throughout my career. Someone who immediately comes to mind however, is Johanna Faries who is the Commissioner of Call of Duty Esports at Activision Blizzard. We're here, but I'm not sure there has been a lot of publicity, excitement or promotion that we are entering and have held these positions until now.
What advice do you have for young Black girls who are looking to dive into careers in esports and gaming?
My biggest advice that I'd give to young Black girls looking to venture in the esports and gaming industry is that you have to have a passion for what you do. I grew up playing video games, I was that kid on the weekends in my room, playing video games for hours. I had an interest and a genuine passion for it. After that, it's important to understand what role you'd like to play since the gaming and esports industry is so vast. Would you like to be on the representation side, in graphic design, programming, work for a game publisher, or help create a culture to ensure there is diversity? There are a ton of different options. Whatever you decide, it just has to be authentic and true to you.
What is something you wish you knew sooner about the esports and gaming industry before entering? What is something they don't tell you?
Something I wish I knew sooner, was to get into it sooner. I've been interested in gaming for a while, but did not enter the industry immediately. Gaming and esports have been around for over a decade. While I was forging a path at NFL Network in 2010, the gaming and esports industry was just beginning to take shape. If I would've known it was happening, I would have jumped right in. It's like going into any career; there are lots of things that you'll just have to learn on the job and be there to truly understand.
What are some of the biggest lessons you've learned about yourself - professionally and personally - as a Black woman in the esports and gaming industry throughout the years?
The biggest lesson I've learned about myself is my ability to persevere. As gaming and esports have begun taking shape, there were positions that I've had that didn't last; companies that I worked for that were sold. My route was not easy, but I knew it was something that I wanted to continue to pursue. I've come to know that the gaming and esports industry does not come without its challenges and having the ability to push through is a must. I was thankful to find a position as Head of Talent at TalentX Gaming (TXG), which is a joint venture between global esports powerhouse ReKTGlobal and "creator-first" talent agency TalentX created specifically to serve gamers. The role encompasses all of the things that I was really looking to do when I set out into gaming and esports five years ago and they are in support of my mission to highlight the diversity that actually already exists within the gaming community.
Featured image courtesy of Amber Howard
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It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
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"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
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What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
From their perspective, their friend should simply know what they should and shouldn’t do. Yeah, one day, I’m going to write an article about how a lot of relationships could be spared so much drama if we all stopped automatically expecting others to think, act, and even love like we do. Anyway, my client did pause for a moment; then she shared that there was one thing, in particular, that she had told her friend that she didn’t appreciate and her friend just kept on doing it — so much to the point where it was starting to feel not only intentional but disrespectful too. In response to that, here’s how the rest of the dialogue between us went down:
Me: “Did she apologize?”
Her: “I mean, after I about lost it and told her that I was sick of her sh-t, she did. I don’t know if I can trust it, though.”
Me: “Has the action happened again since?”
Her: “The last time was only a few weeks ago. It’s too soon to tell. I know I’m starting to put distance between us, though. I’m not sure if I want to be friends with her anymore at this point.”
*le sigh* What to do, what to freakin’ do, when you’ve got a friend in your life who does something that bothers, offends, hurts, or harms you (because those are all different things, y’all), they apologize and you’re not exactly sure what to do with their apology. That is something that I’m pretty sure that all of us have gone through, probably more than once. If you definitely have, and there have been times when it’s left you feeling stumped, let’s unpack it all a bit — just so you’ll know how to move, with complete peace of mind, for the sake of your friendship and, most importantly, your peace of mind.
People with Regrets Apologize (and Every Self-Aware Human Should Have Regrets)
GiphySometime last year, I was talking to a friend of mine about his spouse. As he was raving about all of the things that he adores about her, something that he said caused my eyes to get semi-big: “I mean, she doesn’t believe in apologizing which can get on my nerves but that’s about it.” Whew, chile. Also, another article for another time: It’s very hard for a marriage to function, in a healthy way, if both people aren’t willing to apologize and forgive because there are going to be countless times when doing one or the other is going to be extremely necessary. Why?
Because we all make mistakes and sometimes poor decisions (and no, those two things aren’t the same either) must be corrected with an apology. Not only that but we all also experience times when someone needs to apologize to us and, because of the first thing that I said, we should forgive them and LET. IT. GO.
Yeah, those “I don’t apologize” people? Talk about folks who I don’t trust because that typically either means that they have way too much pride going on or they suck and taking personal accountability for their actions — and neither of those things makes it easy when it comes to trying to have a solid relationship with someone else. Honestly, the only kind of folks who “cause me to pause” more are the ones who claim that they don’t have any regrets in life. Truly…what in the world are you talking about?
If you’ve been rocking with me on this platform for a while now, you already know that I totally and completely loathe the saying, “I don’t regret anything” (check out “Why Regret Might Not Always Be A Bad Thing”). SMDH. Some statements, I just think that they have been popular for so long that people repeat them without really thinking about what they actually mean.
When it comes to regret, if you look up its definition, you should see the word “remorse” somewhere in there and remorse means “deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; compunction” — and if you NEVER feel this way, that low-key sounds like either you think that you never do anything wrong (which is a completely delusional mindset) or you don’t care to “right your wrongs” whenever you do them (which makes you a pretty unsafe individual to be around).
And why am I laying down all of this foundation? Because, before getting into how to discern someone’s apology, it’s important to first surround yourself with individuals who even get that they should apologize from time to time in the first place — not because you think so but because they think so. I’m telling you, it can spare you a ton of time and potential heartbreak to follow this tip.
I say that because I ended a relationship about six years ago, mostly because the person reached out to me to help them out with something, and when I wrote out a full email about something they did that was highly offensive and would result in my not obliging them — not only did they not apologize, they didn’t even acknowledge what I said. What kind of makes it “comically worse” (utter audacity-wise) is the few times that I’ve seen them since, they’ve acted like nothing even happened. Then I had to think back to other times when I’ve brought hurt feelings or offenses to their attention and how they would deflect, play the victim, or change the subject (bookmark that).
Hmph. We talk about narcissism a lot both on and offline — uh-huh, be careful about those narcissistic friends out here. They always want to be the center of attention. They constantly put their own needs first. They have a hard time forgiving and yet think that you should dismiss whatever they do that’s wrong (or damaging). I could go on and on about those jokers. For now, I’ll just bring this point to a close by saying that if you want to trust someone’s apology, you need to trust that they care enough to apologize in the first place. And lawd, won’t that preach?
Next point.
Karma Is Attached to Apologies
GiphyOne day, I’m also going to write an article about how much forgiveness tends to be weaponized — and how absolutely insane that is. Meaning, so many people think that they deserve an apology for all of the things that they do while others don’t — and that’s not really how forgiveness works. If you’re looking at it from a Scriptural standpoint, the Good Book tells us that if you want to be right with God, you’ve got to forgive other people (Matthew 6:14-15). Science says that if you want to be healthy, it’s wise to forgive as well. Adding to both of these things, since karma (which is basically just reaping what you sow) doesn’t discriminate, if you want to be forgiven in the future, you should forgive others in the present.
And that’s what I mean when I say that karma is attached to apologies. When it comes to some completely bold and If-I-were-a-different-type-of-person-things-would’ve-gone-very-differently things that have happened to me throughout the years — what has kept things peaceful and put me on a faster track to healing is choosing to forgive others; especially when they make a point to apologize (check out “How I Learned To Forgive People In My Life Who Weren't Sorry”).
Honestly, a part of the reason why I can do closure so well is because I can accept an apology. What I mean by that is I think a lot of times, we stay in “hamster wheel relationships” (same problems, no new solutions) or we’re so super devastated (because we’re not just sad, we also beat ourselves up with guilt and yes, regret) if something should happen to someone who we used to be in relationship with and it’s partly because we don’t accept apologies.
Me? I never want to be so high and mighty in my mindset that I think I can gamble my relationship with God or my health simply because I want someone to think that what they do and ask forgiveness doesn’t deserve mercy while I’m somewhere thinking that I should be pardoned for all of my mess. I don’t know about y’all but I need God’s forgiveness, plus, it feels good — cleansing even — whenever people who I’ve hurt or harmed have forgiven me and so I give forgiveness in order to receive it — because every single human needs to receive it.
Next point.
A Sincere Apology Doesn't Deflect, Justify or Play the Victim. It Takes Full Ownership.
GiphyNow that we’ve talked about why you should only befriend people who forgive and apologize and how you shouldn’t be in relationships if you don’t know how to forgive (and apologize) — let’s talk about what a sincere apology should even look like.
Years ago, I had a friend who violated a very clear boundary of mine. She kept trying to push something on me that I didn’t want to do until one day, she did it anyway. And boy, was I pissed. When she saw how angry I was, she called me crying and, although she did say that she was sorry, she also went into all kinds of reasons why she thought that she was the bigger victim. The more that I listened, it was like she wanted me to apologize to her for violating me (whew, chile). Yeah, don’t trust those kinds of apologies because they are chocked full of manipulation.
And this is where we start to tiptoe into the difference between accepting an apology and trusting one.
Since she literally said, “I’m so sorry,” I accepted her apology because, although I think that my discernment is pretty keen and she was trying to manipulate matters, at the end of the day, who am I to brush off her efforts to acknowledge what she did? Did I trust her apology, though? Absolutely not because to trust something, you’ve gotta be confident in it, and anyone who decides to make what they did to you totally about them? They don’t really get what an apology is all about.
Hmph. I grew up with people who would apologize and also deflect (shift blame, gaslight, go into semi-denial mode), justify poor behavior (make excuses, follow their apology with some long ass story) and/or play the victim (act like they are more hurt than you are) in the midst of their apologies and those types of individuals typically only apologize in order to “move on” from what they’ve done — not to really make sure that you are okay about what had transpired.
And those people? Whether they are too selfish, not self-aware enough or they’re simply ignorant about what a sincere apology looks like, if those three factors come into play, their apology can be accepted yet not really trusted in the sense of you believing that they will do their best to not repeat the action again. How could you TRUST it if they don’t fully OWN it? Make sense?
Next point.
Accepting Apologies and Actually Trusting Them Are Quite Different
GiphyIf you know that someday, you will need to apologize to someone, you will get again why I say that none of us should really refuse someone else’s apology. Another way of looking at this is if someone apologizes and you don’t accept it, it’s basically saying, “I don’t acknowledge that you acknowledge what you did that you are trying to take responsibility for” — and honestly, what kind of sense does that make?
Because while you are thinking that not accepting their apology is harming them, it’s really only hurting you because you are choosing to hold onto what their apology has actually released them from. Plus, y’all know that I am pretty word-literal and, at the end of the day, accepting an apology simply means that 1) you are responding to what they are saying and 2) you are receiving the effort. Over and out.
Now TRUSTING an apology? Again, that is something entirely different. I’ll give you another example. Everyone who knows me (check out “5 Signs You Really Know A Person”) knows that if I come out to a big function, that’s love — DEEP LOVE. Back when I was an entertainment journalist, I had my fill of stuff like that; these days, low-key is how I get down. Anyway, one time, a friend invited me out to a crowded and pretty important function. After a bit of convincing, I made the personal request of not wanting to go along with someone else in their world who I am not fond of (who they are now not even friends with because they discovered on their own just how shady the person can be).
My friend assured me that it wouldn’t be an issue — only for me to get to the place where we were meeting up and my friend then telling me on the way to the venue that the person would be joining us. When I tell you that we literally had the conversation about that not happening just a few hours before? Chile. My response? I left before we headed there and went back home. I am BIG on my boundaries being respected and I’m not going to be set up to be put in a position to somehow be the bad guy if I’m not kee-keeing with someone who I didn’t want to be around, intimately, in the first place. Plus, my friend needed to fully enjoy her night without worrying about what the energy was going to be like.
My friend owned that it was “bad business” to even move like that — that it was thoughtless and a bit manipulative on her part because a part of her thought that if I was pushed to the wall on the matter, I would just get over it. She apologized. I accepted it. However, I didn’t just accept it, I trusted it because, a few weeks later, she invited me to another event, out of state, all expenses paid.
Listen, if you know me, you know that it wasn’t the free trip that “moved me” because my favorite place is always gonna be at home. LOL. It’s that my friend didn’t just acknowledge what she did, she also took it upon herself to make amends — and that’s what a real apology should always include.
And what is amends? It’s “reparation or compensation for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind; recompense.” That said, when we really get the weight and magnitude of something that we’ve done to another person, it’s never enough to just toss a flippant “My bad” in their direction — it’s important to put forth the effort to set things right.
I got that my friend understood how much effort it took for me to do the initial outing with her in the first place because she took a few steps up from that and turned another event into a girls' trip — just us. That was a couple of years ago now. We’ve not had an issue in that lane since.
Your friend who hurt you and apologized? One way to know if you can trust the apology to the point where you know that it’s okay to move on fully from the matter is if they are willing, on their own, to make amends. If, in their own way, they ask you, “How can I make this right?” If you get that from them, I really recommend that you give them a chance because not only does it seem like their apology is heartfelt, but they also want to help you to heal from what they did — and at the end of the day, because none of us can change the past, just “own” our part in it, there’s not much more that a human can do.
Plus, people who go so far as to make amends, they typically also put forth the effort to try and change their behavior (or not repeat the action). And again, what more can you really ask for from any fallible individual (and we are all that)…right?
____
No one is perfect. We’re all going to mess up. If you really get that, when a friend apologizes to you, let both of yourselves off of the hook and accept it. And during the apology, if they take full ownership which includes making amends, trust your friend enough to have faith that they will try to not hurt you, in that way, again.
Accept is about recognizing.
Trusting is about putting your confidence in something.
When it comes to apologies, specifically, I hope it’s easier to now know the difference.
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