2023 ends with Mercury in retrograde, and with the events of the year, this makes a lot of sense. Healing is needed, new ground must be built, and chapters are closing that have been lost in the chaos. The end of the year may feel a little heavier as we work on releasing the strong bonds that have been holding us back from living out our dreams and true potential.
When Is the Final Mercury Retrograde of 2023?
Mercury enters Capricorn on Dec. 1 and goes retrograde on Dec. 13. Mercury retrograde then moves into Sagittarius on Dec. 23, where it will finish its retrograde motion until Jan. 1, 2024. Mercury wants to send a message at the end of this year, and the message, “Get things together before the new year because you can’t bring old energy into new blessings.”
Read: Your December 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Fresh Starts And Pushing Boundaries
Mercury Retrograde December 2023 & Its Meaning
Mercury retrograde happens a few times every year and throughout different signs and modalities. This year, Mercury’s retrogrades were giving earth signs a run for their money, as its transits were in these signs this year. This Mercury retrograde transit is a little different, as it moves into a fire sign at the end of its transit, signifying a shift being made before the year ends.
Use this Mercury retrograde to put the past behind you, to get things in order, especially financially, and to be a little more responsible. This is not the most favorable time to sign contracts, travel without planning thoroughly, overcommit, or rush things.
Mercury retrograde is overall a time to gain inspiration, rest more, refocus your thoughts, and give yourself time to stand on new ground.
Read below to see how this Mercury Retrograde transit will be affecting you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
What the Final Mercury Retrograde of 2023 Has in Store for Your Sign
Getty ImagesWhat the Final Mercury Retrograde of 2023 Has in Store for Your Sign
ARIES
Career and professional matters come into focus for you during this Mercury retrograde, and you are thinking all about your long-term goals right now, Aries. It’s about being okay with cheering yourself on for a while, with or without that same recognition from others. Know that what you have accomplished for yourself is just as worthy of support, and it will come when it needs to. Honor your skills and your talents, be willing to learn more, and continue to expect and believe in your blessings in life.
With the energy of this Mercury retrograde, you could be experiencing some misunderstandings with authority figures, clients, or peers in your working environment. Feelings of not being understood or appreciated for the work you are doing can come up for you during this time, and you are seeking some stability and assurance in your career right now. Patience and discernment at work are necessary, and you’ll want to go over the work you produce thoroughly during this time.
This Mercury retro ends with the energy moving into your 9th house, and your mind is somewhere else entirely by the end of the year, which helps you relax without putting too much pressure on yourself.
TAURUS
This Mercury retrograde for you, Taurus, is about taking things slow, enjoying your time, and not rushing plans or adventures. You may be feeling a little more restless during this transit, but use this time to get your body moving rather than lead towards impulsion. With this Mercury retrograde occurring in your 9th house of adventure, travel, and the higher mind, there is a sense of needing some more downtime to reflect and understand what your inner world has been guiding you towards without the chatter of others. This isn’t the best time to travel, but it is a good time to explore in ways that you can.
Know that plans change and paths detour, but they are often blessings in disguise rather than true hindrances to our lives. Through the experiences you’ve encountered so far this year, a new perspective has been born, and you are looking at your beliefs, truths, and values right now. At the end of this transit, Mercury retro will be helping you bring things into focus financially, and some of the inspirations and adventures you were musing over at the beginning of this transit are moving through the planning stages now.
GEMINI
This Mercury retrograde for you, is a transformative experience, Gemini. Mercury retrogrades always hit a little closer to home for you since Mercury is your chart ruler, but this one is especially being felt as it’s happening in your 8th house of depth, rebirth, sensuality, and intimacy. Mercury will be bringing the focus on where your energy has been spent and if it’s benefiting you and your empowerment in life, or limiting you.
It’s about asking for what you need within your close partnerships, commitments, and within your financial world, and knowing that you deserve just that.
Once Mercury goes direct on Jan. 1, 2024, you are going to feel more clarity and empowerment in your life and feel like you have cleared the way for more blessings to enter. However, before Mercury goes direct, it will briefly move into Sagittarius, your sister sign, and relationship matters are once again being brought up for you to clear and understand for the better. This transit is about breaking down the walls you’ve had around your mind and allowing a new perspective to be born.
CANCER
Mercury will be retrograde in your opposite sign, Capricorn, making this retrograde transit about your relationships in life, Cancer. You are focused on where the love has been and where you still want it to grow, and it’s about being patient with your efforts. You could be experiencing some miscommunications within your one-on-one partnerships during this transit, and will be understanding your own mirror and triggers better. Relationship dynamics are shifting, trust that they will shift into a better position for love to thrive.
The end of this transit involved Mercury moving into your 6th house of health, work, and daily routine, and this is the energy you are re-working in your life as the year comes to an end. Old health concerns may reappear during this time so that you can get another chance at greater health, healing, and understanding of your body. Overall, you are finding a way to create new, beneficial systems in your life during this transit.
LEO
Taking care of your health and honoring your time and energy is a priority right now, Leo. With this Mercury retrograde, this is a good time to strengthen a skill, dive into a subject you want to know more about, and put a little more focus on your overall well-being. You especially value being of service right now and will have the energy to get things done, but be careful with errors and double-check your work thoroughly.
Once Mercury goes direct on Jan. 1, 2024, you are going to start seeing more improvements at work, forward movement with projects, and more balance with your peers and within your everyday life. Before Mercury retro comes to a close, however, it moves into your 5th house of romance for a brief period, and your heart may be a little more confused as the year ends. Be careful with smoke and mirrors appearing as fate, and know that romance that takes its time to develop is just as valuable to you right now.
VIRGO
This Mercury retrograde transit for you has to do with love, romance, and your sense of happiness in life right now. You may be finding that things that once made you happy are a little lackluster now, and you are moving through a journey of listening to your heart more. If you haven’t been prioritizing your happiness, hobbies, or leisure time, this matter will be becoming more pressing for you now.
Any limitations you have been feeling creatively and romantically come up at this time to be reviewed, healed, and understood better.
Once Mercury goes direct from this transit you will have a better understanding of what makes you happy, making it easier for you to create those spaces. The end of this Mercury retrograde for you is all about the home, and you are entering 2024 with some new ideas about your home life, emotional world, and sense of stability, and you will be breaking new ground in the new year, Virgo.
LIBRA
Mercury retrograde for you right now is all about getting back to the basics and being more practical, Libra. Spending time with family and loved ones is where your mind is right now, but also may be what’s causing you the disruption. You are taking a look at your foundations, where you are feeling that support in your life, and where you want to continue to grow your roots. Your emotional well-being is a priority, and your safe spaces are where to be to get through this.
Your stability in life and how you feel grounded in it all are in focus right now, and this is a good time to declutter, finish that home project, and bring peace into the home and surroundings. The end of this Mercury retro involves how you have been communicating, and some people from the past may be coming in for some last words. Think things through, honor your truth, and communicate from the heart.
SCORPIO
Mercury retrograde will be moving through your house of communication, and miscommunications and misunderstandings with others are more likely now. The influence for you during this transit is about overcoming previous communication challenges and seeing what has been blocking you from feeling heard or connected to others. You could be taking things a little more personally during this Mercury retrograde, and giving yourself more patience, love, and self-acceptance is needed now.
This will be an inspiring time for you, nonetheless, and journaling and writing are favored right now. The second half of this Mercury retro will be in your 2nd house of finances, and with the mental clarity you have been working towards as of late; you are now looking to see this clear focus in your finances, earnings, and earning potentials. This Mercury retrograde for you overall is about strengthening your confidence in yourself in it all, Scorpio.
SAGITTARIUS
Mercury retrograde will be putting things into focus financially for you, Sagittarius. With this being the last Mercury retrograde of the year, you are taking a look at your entire financial journey this year, and recreating new goals for yourself moving forward. You may be seeing some errors in your spending or may need to spend a little more at the end of the year, and financially, you are going through a certain closure right now.
Overall, this has to do with your values and how worthy you see yourself as living the abundant life of your dreams.
You are focusing more on the giving and receiving in your life during this time and finding greater balance here. On Dec. 23, Mercury enters your sign until Jan. 7, 2024, and will be direct on Jan. 1, 2024. Mercury in Sag is a firecracker, and anything will be less than settled during this time, but the fire that is burning is leading you to a clearer path.
CAPRICORN
Mercury retrograde begins in your sign and in your 1st house of self, Capricorn. This Mercury retrograde transit may feel a little more intense for you than most, but it will also feel more personally empowering for you as well with the way it impacts your chart. This is the type for you to take a look at the entire year that’s been, to decide on what this means for you, and to stand by your authentic truths. Don’t doubt your progress right now, and trust that your path is right for you because it is yours alone.
This Mercury retrograde for you overall is about being consistent with your personal growth and about getting your ducks in a row. On Dec. 23, Mercury retro leaves your sign and enters Sag, and you get to walk into the new year with a little less weight on your shoulders and your heart. You are seeing closures as this transit comes to an end; you are letting go of the past for good.
AQUARIUS
Life is coming full circle for you this Mercury retrograde as you close one door and prepare to walk through a new one. You may be feeling a little more emotional and in tune with your inner world during this transit, as it’s occurring at the very bottom of your chart, where everything is hidden, including the things you may necessarily not want to bring up.
This isn’t the time to entertain the past or see things better than they were, but it is the time to accept, process, and heal from them. What’s being brought up for you now is doing so so that you can experience an emotional renewal in your life, and this is the time to give yourself the space to process and heal. By the end of this transit, Mercury moves into the house your sign rules over, and you get a little push to rewrite your story and create your future.
PISCES
Mercury goes retrograde in an area of your chart having to do with friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, and you could be feeling a lack of inspiration in your life for the time being. This doesn’t mean it isn’t there; you may just have to look a little harder to see it.
This Mercury Retrograde is allowing you to re-think some of your long-term goals to see if they still apply to you now and is helping you really examine and get the full picture.
Friendships could be experiencing a shift, but the strong ones will make it with you into the new year. Past goals, future goals, and their progress all come up for review for you during this time, and this allows you to see where you can put more intention and effort into them.
The end of this transit involves Mercury moving into your 10th house of career, and you are ending the year looking to bring things to fruition in your professional and social worlds.
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RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Not to mention the fact that so many folks literally don’t read (you know, past skimming) anymore — and yes, I have stats to prove it. I recently read that back in 2022, reportedly, a little over 48 percent of people read one book over the course of that entire year (that is not a good thing and proves that book reading is on a steady decline). Meanwhile, the amount of time that is spent on social media: 2.5 hours on a daily basis. That’s 150 minutes of listening to folks just say…whatever. And if you listen to it long enough, you could actually start believing it as gospel.
This includes what I am going to touch on today: the belief that if someone really cares about you, they should constantly reassure you. Y’all damn near are gonna have me join the world of social media again, just to address this one fallacy. For now, though, I’ll settle for making some points via this article — because as you can see from the title, I don’t agree with that conclusion at all.
In fact, I personally believe that thinking this way is a pretty big relational orange — if not red — flag.
Reassurance. And What It Does for a Child.
GiphyIf you’ve read enough of my content, you know that I am big on word definitions — and when it comes to the word “reassurance,” the meaning alone explains why this article has the title that it does:
Reassurance: something, such as information, praise, or an action or gesture, that soothes, comforts, or restores to confidence
Reassurance restores confidence. Bookmark that, please. I will certainly circle back to that point before I am done.
Okay, so when it comes to, say a child, there is absolutely a place for reassurance. That’s because they are still in the process of significant self-development and so they need reassurance in order to feel safe, secure and loved. It’s also a way for them to establish trust in others.
However, did you know that many mental health experts say that if a child deals with, say anxiety, constant reassurance can actually be counterproductive because they can start to rely on external validation to emotionally stabilize them instead of learning how to remain calm and relaxed on their own (yeah, bookmark that too)? Some other ways that constant reassurance can become potentially problematic is it can cause kids to create problems that don’t exist, to overthink and to jump to the wrong conclusions (hmm…very interesting).
And so, already, we’re seeing something pretty interesting, right? Although reassurance has its place, too much of it, even for kids, typically ends up doing more harm than good.
Let’s keep building.
How 'Lack' As a Child Can Manifest As an Adult
GiphyOkay, so we just touched on how constant reassurance can be counterproductive for an anxious child. Now what about when that child grows up? If they never learned how to properly and effectively deal with their anxiety, what then? Well, this is where attachment styles can very easily come into play — especially since one of them is literally called “anxious attachment style.”
Anxious attachment style is rooted in insecurity. It typically stems from experiencing the type of dysfunctional upbringing that resulted in one or both parents being unpredictable or inconsistent in their caregiving approach and techniques. As a result, the child deals with things like fear of abandonment or rejection and, without healing from that, they become an adult who is pretty much the exact same way.
In relationships, it can manifest in them being extra clingy, codependent, super jealous, controlling or — catch it — someone who is always looking for validation and reassurance.
Hmph. Did you catch that? Did you really catch that? Needing constant reassurance in a relationship IS NOT something that should automatically come with a relationship. In fact, if you’re someone who has this type of need or even expectation, there’s a really good chance that what you actually need is therapy — not for your partner to work harder to make you feel better about yourself or the relationship.
Which brings me to my next point.
Relationships Can Be Therapeutic. They Aren’t Therapy, Though.
GiphySomething that some of my clients will tell you that they’ve heard me say, more than once I might add is, “PARENT and PARTNER are not palindromes.” A palindrome is a word (line, sentence, etc.) that is the same whether it is spelled backwards or forwards — and while, of course, parent and partner couldn’t qualify as being that, what I mean is there are far too many people who think that partners should pick up where parents left off and/or dropped the ball — and that is a super unhealthy approach to relationships. Come to think of it, not only is it unhealthy but really unfair as well.
This is exactly why I’m not big on phrases like “the princess treatment” in adult relationships. A princess is the daughter of a king while a queen is the wife of one. For a grown woman to expect a man to do what a father did for her as a child without accepting that as an adult, there are far more responsibilities as a wife that comes into play? Yep, that is toxic thinking.
And you know what? So is expecting your partner to overcompensate for where your father and/or mother didn’t show up in the way that they should have. That is not your partner’s fault, their role or their assignment while dating you. If you feel otherwise, it really is time to speak with a professional who can help you to do a bit of “reprogramming” in your thinking because, for you to feel and/or assume that since your parents didn’t make you feel confident and secure or teach you how to value yourself, your partner should work overtime to make up for it? There is not one thing that is healthy, mature or emotionally solid about having that type of mindset.
And that is why I am also good for saying that, although relationships can be therapeutic (healing), they should never EVER be seen as therapy. Therapists are trained to deal with the mental and emotional challenges that people have. On the other hand, no one should expect their partner to have the knowledge and expertise that professionals do — and while we’re here, partners also shouldn’t trust that someone who needs the assistance of a therapist to become whole (again) would know exactly what steps are required for that to happen.
So yeah, if you’re someone who thinks that being loved means that someone needs to constantly make you feel good about yourself or secure in the relationship — you probably do have an anxious attachment style. See a professional to get that confirmed, though. Because no one should have to make you feel valued or worthy. That is an inside job.
And this brings me to my final point.
It’s Not Fair to Want Someone to Love You More than You Do
GiphyFor this last point, something that Christ once said immediately comes to mind:
“No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” (Matthew 9:16-18 — NKJV)
A lot of times, Christ spoke in parables because it was easier for people to get where he was coming from (Matthew 13:13). Anyway, along these lines, what would be the point in pouring a liquid into a bottle that has a hole in it? It’s not built to contain and maintain the fluid and so, no matter how delicious the drink may be, no matter how many times it’s poured into the bottle, the bottle is never going to remain full — because it has cracks in it.
BOOKMARK THAT.
My fourth baby’s daddy (check out “Why I Named The Children I Aborted”), while we were in the process of our “exit interview” (which is what I choose to call it) of our dynamic, he said something that has always stayed with me: “Shellie, your biggest problem is you receive compliments are revelations when they should be seen as confirmations.” Hmph. The irony of HIM saying that is kind of a trip and yet, at the time when we were experiencing each other, he was exactly right. I should’ve never had such a low sense of self-worth that whatever a man said to me had me so in awe that I either felt extremely grateful or became super addicted to his validation.
And y’all, that is exactly what needing constant reassurance looks like — because why does someone need to keep telling you that you are beautiful, keep saying that you are wonderful, keep letting you know that they want to be with you — keep restoring your confidence in yourself and in your relationship with them?
In other words, why should they work harder at making you feel good about yourself and solid in your relationship than you are willing to? Isn’t that just like pouring liquid into a broken bottle?
There is someone in my family tree who I had to distance myself from because he kept venting to me about his marriage and the fact that his wife was just like this. Sadly, it was never (and I do mean NEVER) enough that he chose her — whenever she felt some type of way about herself, here she came looking for him to fill her voids. After a couple of years of the nonstop needs for reassurance, he was worn out from doing it and I was exhausted from hearing about it. He was too scared to call her out and she was too unaccountable to get the real help that she needed. Whew. Toxic on top of toxic.
So Shellie, what are you saying — that we shouldn’t expect compliments, affirmations, support and encouragement in our relationships? Chile, if that is what you got out of this, you are choosing to think that way because that couldn’t be further from where I am coming from.
Again, you’ve got to remember what reassurance means: it’s about restoring confidence. A compliment is “an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration” yet if you already know that you are pretty, smart, funny, whatever, someone telling you that isn’t “building your confidence;” it’s cosigning on something that you are already aware of. Encouragement is about inspiring or stimulating someone and so yes, of course, the right partner is going to want to see you win in life and so they are going to offer up influence and motivation to help you — but what if they aren’t there?
Shouldn’t you be able to encourage yourself? ABSOLUTELY. However, expecting them to restore your confidence due to things that have nothing to do with them or because you simply lack self-confidence? That is not how relationships are to go. If you aren’t sure of yourself (which is a foundational definition of confident), get to the root of why and then figure what you need to do to become sure — that way, your partner doesn’t have to constantly “fill you up;” actually, what they do will be surplus instead of void-filling because your “bottle” will be unbroken.
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I’m telling you, if you pay attention to the relationship side of socials, at least twice a day, someone will talk about how they think that a relationship should entail receiving constant reassurance. Lies on top of lies. No one should think that love means trying to make someone else feel sure about themselves because they don’t know how to do so on their own.
And this is why I say that expecting constant reassurance is an orange, if not red, flag.
Because when you already feel good about yourself, there is no need.
And if you don’t, figuring out how to is an inside job — FIRST.
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