'Balanced Black Girl' Host Les Alfred Shares How Embracing Change Transforms Your Life
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
The Balanced Black Girl podcast is back for a new season, a new look, and a new network.
The content creator and host of the podcast, Les Alfred, had no idea when she launched the podcast that it would result in becoming a part of the Dear Media podcast family five years later; but the best success stories are the ones you had no idea were being written.
The 34-year-old described her career journey as one that isn't linear. Les started her career in corporate finance but, over time, realized that though working in corporate might have been paying the bills, it wasn't feeding her in ways she needed. The depletion and burnout she experienced inspired her to turn to exercise to support her mental health and boost her energy.
"That habit blossomed into a love of all things wellness," Les explained to xoNecole. "I became a personal trainer and nurtured a fitness career on the side, venturing into content creation in 2014."
Les would continue to pursue her content creation endeavors for four years in the form of a fitness blog. That fitness blog evolved into the launch of her podcast in 2018. The Seattle-based creator said the idea to expand her blog into a podcast sparked from her desire to cover broader conversations within the wellness niche. And thus, the Balanced Black Girl podcast was born.
The podcast touches on topics like wellness, healthy habits, rest, fitness, confidence, heartbreak, healing, and more and is sometimes structured as different "issues" similar to a magazine and what is expounded on in the podcast's wellness community and sister site, Balanced Black Girl. And what is a "Balanced Black Girl" exactly? "It's being a well-rounded, multi-faceted person who wants the best experiences life has to offer. So much of that starts with getting centered and focusing on habits that help us feel our best," Les shared.
Through the BBG journey, Les acts as a "wellness-y big sister" who is navigating similar life trials and seasons in a supportive way that makes her listeners who are going through similar things feel less alone with the help of community and someone who just gets it. With her work, Les guides others to their own expansion, healing, growth, and, of course, balance.
"I think I have had so many years in survival mode that they've blurred together. But being willing to make changes -- whether that was changing my environment, leaving relationships that weren't working, leaving jobs that weren't supporting my growth, etc., always helps build some momentum," she said of her journey to cultivating a life well-lived through optimal well-being.
In this installment of "Finding Balance," Les chats with xoNecole about the advice she'd give her younger self, making self-care a prerequisite in everything she does, and what balance looks like to the ultimate "Balanced Black Girl."
xoNecole: How has practicing self-care helped you become a better person?
Les Alfred: I don't think practicing self-care makes me a better person than I was before, however, I now have more patience and tools to help me be a better version of myself. I've learned how to communicate my needs, hold more space for others, and I've learned how to believe in myself.
xoN: What is the best advice you could give your younger self on how to navigate your 20s/30s?
LA: Stop putting pressure on yourself to figure everything out -- nobody ever has everything all figured out. Focus more on building the skills you need to have to build the life you want. Instead of focusing on finding the right relationship, focus on having healthy relationship skills. Learn how to manage your finances. Understand the ripple effect decisions you make in your 20s can impact you later on in life.
"Instead of focusing on finding the right relationship, focus on having healthy relationship skills. Understand the ripple effect decisions you make in your 20s can impact you later on in life."
xoN: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
LA: I think I'm still learning that lesson! But in my late 20s, I had a bit of a reckoning with my personal life and career, when I realized what I had been doing just wasn't working for me. I wasn't having the social and professional experiences that I was seeking, and I had to learn how to assess what decisions I'd made until that point.
By pausing, getting curious, and being willing to do things differently, even if I didn't have immediate examples around me, I learned how to hold space for things being so much greater than I could imagine by releasing control.
xoN: What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
LA: On a normal weekday, I wake up around 5:30 or 6 a.m. and do a quick meditation, then practice a little French. Then I'll throw on workout clothes, brush my teeth, and sip on warm lemon water or tea while doing a bit of reading. After that, I'm out the door going to my morning workout (usually either a class or a strength workout in the gym). After my workout, I get dressed for the day, have breakfast, make my to-do list, and get to work around 9 a.m.
I work [the] typical 9-5 hours and wrap up the work day around 5. Evenings totally vary -- I could be heading to an event, meeting up with friends, going on a date, or going for a long walk after work before having dinner at home and ending the night reading a book.
xoN: What are your mornings like?
LA: I'm a pretty early riser. I'm usually up by 6 and like to spend a bit of time reading, journaling, and getting in a morning workout. I've been doing these things for so long, this morning routine is like second nature to me by now.
After my workout, I get dressed for the day, whip up a smoothie for breakfast, and am usually ready to start the workday by about 9. I try to stay off my phone as much as possible.
xoN: How do you wind down at night?
LA: My wind-down routine usually involves a hot shower, doing my evening skincare, and reading (always fiction at night!) on my Kindle until I fall asleep.
xoN: When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it? What techniques or tools do you have in place to maintain your sense of self amid chaos?
LA: I tend to be time-optimistic in the sense that I have a habit of underestimating how much time things take (whether that's the time it takes to do a task, travel time to an event, etc.) so I have to be really mindful to not overbook myself. I also have to make it a point to build in downtime for myself.
I definitely don't feel my best if I don't have a bit of quiet time to recharge.
xoN: Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
LA: I try to infuse self-care into everything I do. Before starting a task, I like to get really clear on what I need to do and why -- that clarity to me is self-care. Spending time with my loved ones (and enforcing boundaries when needed) is self-care. I also consider my hobbies self-care. Earlier this year, I started taking tennis lessons not to be the next Serena [Williams] or Coco [Gauff] but to learn a new skill and to have an outlet that feels like play.
I also love buying flowers from the grocery store and making arrangements. Reading fiction and getting lost in a story is a huge form of self-care for me. And, of course, the standard practices like exercise, meditation, and journaling -- we talk about them so much because they work.
xoN: Oftentimes, when we hear talk about love languages, it is how we give love to others. What is your self-love language and how do you give that to yourself?
LA: This year, I learned my love language is quality time. I really like having rich experiences and creating memories, so I'm always looking for ways to do that. Whether it's through travel or intentional time with friends and family, I'm always looking to create a positive, memorable experience.
xoN: When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
LA: I embrace change because, in those scenarios, things can't get better without it. Even making the smallest change can provide much-needed momentum. Whether it's trying a new workout, taking a new route to work, changing up daily walks, or listening to new music, embracing small changes helps us see new perspectives and prepares us for the bigger changes that help take us to the next level.
"I embrace change because, in those scenarios, things can't get better without it. Even making the smallest change can provide much-needed momentum."
xoN: Lastly, how do you define "balance" in your life?
LA: Balance to me doesn't mean doing it all or packing my plate until it's full to the brim. It means being a whole, well-rounded person who is able to hold space for the various experiences life brings us.
For more of Les, check out Balanced Black Girl and its new season here. Follow Les on Instagram @balancedles.
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Featured image by Kaye McCoy
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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50 Cent Is Celibate And Might Be Open To Marriage In The Future
50 Cent wears many hats. He's a rapper, actor, executive producer of the very successful Power franchise, author, and father. With such a hectic lifestyle, the "21 Questions" artist has also decided to vow celibacy. He first revealed that he was celibate in a New Year's post in January.
"My new idea is so big, I don’t have time to be distracted I’m practicing abstinence, I have been meditating and focusing on my goals. I hope this New Year helps you excel to the next level," he wrote.
And he elaborated on his decision during his recent visit to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. "Listen, when you calm down you can focus," the 49-year-old mogul said. "I've been good to me."
He also explained how his financial status can complicate things and being celibate helps him see things clearer.
"[Money is] when things start getting complicated, things start getting confusing cause people come in for different reasons," he said. "If you go on a date but you have no interest in anything, I can see you now. I said, ‘God damn, girl, you fine, but you ain’t got nothing going on."
When Stephen asked if The Accomplice author has ever been married, he responded with, "I am safe. I’m not a happy hostage. I’m here. I’m free. I made some mistakes, just not that one."
Later on in the interview, 50 clarified that he still wants a romantic relationship and possible marriage down the line, but that's not his focus at the moment. "I want someone I can love in my life too, just not right now. I’m fine."
50 has had a lot of high-profile relationships, from Vivica A. Fox to Ciara. Here's a look back at his relationships below.
Shaniqua Tompkins
Before 50 became famous, he was dating Shaniqua Tompkins and they share a child, 27-year-old Marquise Jackson. For years, the former couple have been involved in a back-and-forth over their son and eventually, the rapper's relationship with Marquise turned sour.
Meagan Good
Meagan Good confirmed in a Hollywood Unlock interview that she and the Queens-bred rapper did date in the past. They reportedly dated from 2002 to 2003, and she starred in his music video for "21 Questions."
“Just to bring clarity on that, that was over a decade ago, and it was for about a year. … I kept it under the radar intentionally because…at that time in my career, I’d just come off of Biker Boyz, I’d just done the music video, and my career was going in a really great way," she explained. "And what I didn’t want was my connection to him to be the catalyst in any type of success that I had."
Vivica A. Fox
Photo by KMazur/WireImage
50's relationship with Vivica A. Fox might be his most memorable one yet. After publicly complimenting her on her dress at the 2003 BET Awards, they showed up at the MTV VMAs together later that year. Their love affair was brief, but their public feud lasted years. Two decades later, they seem to have both put the petty past behind them.
Joy Bryant
Joy Bryant and the "In da Club" rapper reportedly dated from 2005 to 2006. The two were co-stars in Get Rich or Die Tryin' and had impeccable chemistry. However, it seems they couldn't replicate that chemistry offscreen.
Ciara
Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage
The "Can't Leave Him Alone" collaborators dated from 2007 to 2010. In 2012, Ciara revealed why they ultimately called it quits during an interview with the Ricky Smiley Morning Show. “He’s obviously far from afraid of anything that he can control. But at the same time — him not being afraid of anything in that way — the one thing he is afraid of is love," she said. "And with that being said, in a sense, he’s afraid of me.”
Chelsea Handler
The couple that surprised everyone the most was 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler. The comedian called the mogul her favorite ex. “I love 50 Cent, he was fun. He was just a sweetheart, and he was fun to be around,” Chelsea told Entertainment Tonight in January 2023. “My friends loved hanging out with him. I loved hanging out with him. It was a pretty short-lived romance. It was only two months. But yeah, I mean, If I saw him, I’d definitely have a drink with him.”
Daphne Joy
50 dated model Daphne Joy from 2011-2012, and they share a 12-year-old son, Sire. The Grammy award-winning artist is currently suing his ex for defamation after she accused him of rape. This accusation came after 50 asked for sole custody of their son following Lil Rod's sex abuse lawsuit against Diddy, which alleged that Daphne was a longtime sex worker. The model has also accused her ex of abuse in the past.
Jamira "Cuban Link" Haines
Photo by JC Olivera/Getty Images
Jamira Haines, known on social media as Cuban Link, and 50 began dating in 2019. Since then, they have made many public appearances together and have been posted on each other's social media pages. However, it appears the law school student and the rapper are no longer together. While neither party has confirmed the breakup, Jamira has scraped her social media with any traces of 50.
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