

When Entrepreneurship Isn't For You: How To Thrive At Your 9-To-5
I was privy to an interesting conversation a few weeks back about entrepreneurship and fulfillment. My sister had been taken aback by an Instagram Reel she saw that basically shamed people who worked 9-to-5s while touting the benefits of being an entrepreneur. It was as if one couldn't thrive at a 9-to-5, as if everyday professionals play themselves every day going into a regular J-O-B. My sister began to question whether she was missing out on something great in focusing on her 9-to-5 as a teacher (and a damn good, dedicated one, at that).
As a journalist, editor, and consultant, I have covered entrepreneurship (particularly in service to Black women) for almost two decades, and I’ve studied organizational leadership while earning my master’s degree, so I had to go into both journalist and big-sister-protector mode, immediately reassuring her that while entrepreneurship is an awesome endeavor, it’s not for everyone, and there’s no shame in working a 9-to-5 you love. Also, you can indeed build wealth and fulfillment when taking the traditional professional path.
We’ve all seen that theme being perpetuated on social, where influencers push hustle culture and entrepreneurship as the end-all-be-all to happiness and getting to the bag, all while disrespecting and disregarding the valuable work of 9-to-5ers.
Again, more power to my boss sistas (me included), but here’s the affirmation all my fabulous 9-to-5ers need, especially my young professionals who are early in their careers: Sis, it’s more than okay to love your job, be an employee, and thrive. And indeed, you can be financially free, happy, and accomplished without having a business account in your name or a brand you’re pushing on IG.
Here are a few stats to back that affirmation: According to recent Bureau of Labor stats, 1 in 5 businesses fail within the first year. And while Black women are among the fastest-growing groups in terms of entrepreneurship (with 2.7 million businesses across the U.S.) Black women have higher labor force participation rates than other women (at 58.8% compared with 56.2% for women overall). There are more than 75 million women in the workforce (compared with 12.3 million women-owned businesses), so sis, you’re not alone.
The key to thriving at a 9-to-5 is totally foreign to any IG Reel or TikTok video you might watch a million times regarding entrepreneurship. Here are five ways you can build a career you love and thrive as a 9-to-5 power woman:
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1. Actually pursue (and do) work you like to do.
There are so many statistics about unemployment, inflation, and what's wrong in the world of working. Please don't let that drive you to take a job that you either hate or aren't passionate about. While we all have bills to pay, it's a better idea to always strategize for landing a job that aligns with your passions, skills, and financial goals, even if you have to start from the bottom with a mindset and plan of elevating. You won't always get that dream job on the first try or even after the 10th interview, but find ways to work for that dream company, build that dream life, or work for that dream boss.
Do your research, get the training needed, and find unique but authentic ways to brand yourself via LinkedIn or Facebook. If you have to take that just-to-pay-the-bills job in the meanwhile, set a few goals with deadlines so that you can focus on your plan and get a better job that's more of a fit for what you'd like to be doing.
Take a few assessments to see what you're good at, what skills you have, and where your weaknesses might be. Sit down and write what you love doing, scenarios where you felt empowered and loved, and the types of jobs or industries where you might find a fit for what you're called to do.
This tip might seem like a no-brainer, but oftentimes women take jobs that they know aren't a great fit from the job description or interview process, remain at the job for longer than they should, and end up in both a professional and financial rut. If you can avoid doing this, you have a better chance of thriving.
2. Invest in yourself, your growth, and your future. Make this a priority.
Even with a job you don't necessarily like or when working for a company that's not quite a good fit, there are ways to invest in yourself and your financial future. Be sure you're locked into their 401K, you're taking advantage of every benefit of the packages they offer, and you're taking every bit of PTO allowed. In your spare time, again, be sure you're looking to the future and applying for jobs or positions that meet the standards of your future self. If you love your job, be sure you're setting benchmarks and goals as to how you'll grow, when you'll apply for promotions, who you'd like to work with in the C-suite, and what projects you'd like to take the lead on.
If you want to build wealth at a 9-to-5, investing is a good idea, no matter how much you make, and boosting your savings goals is also something you should become deliberate about. Some companies still offer matches for retirement fund investing.
That's totally okay because you can take retirement and investment planning into your own hands by talking to someone at your local bank or other financial services company (like Fidelity, for example). You can set up a regular or Roth IRA to save for your future. If you find the FIRE strategy to be one you'd like to pursue while you're working a 9-to-5, there are several online resources and available coaches to guide you through that process.
If you're okay with retiring at the traditional age, seeking out companies that provide opportunities for retirement investment is key and you must ensure you have a great financial plan for that. Prioritize your financial planning as a 9-to-5 employee so that you can achieve the life you want. While there are several systemic barriers to equity and wealth building for Black women, nothing beats a disciplined savings strategy and a bit of planning savvy. (Here's some great guidance on how to boost your savings goals in other ways beyond retirement funds.)
Remember, retirement planning isn't just about waiting until you're "older" and it's not just something your mom or grandma should be thinking about. You should be planning today for the lifestyle you want in the future, especially if you'd like to live it up via travel or lavish luxuries, you want to have a flexible work-life balance by a certain age, or you plan to finance your children's education. Wealth building is a game of strategy and long-term planning for sure.
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3. Connect with a mentor and create a community of support.
Thriving at a 9-to-5 is almost like raising a child. It takes a village. Connect with mentors, sponsors (or people at your company that can speak to your abilities for opportunities there), and other means of support in your career journey. Oftentimes, many of us work in a silo, just thinking hard work will pay off, but you'll need more than that to advance at a company. If you find that the culture of the company you work for is toxic, doesn't reward quality, or doesn't meet your professional needs, consider looking for work at another company. If the mission and values of a company don't align with yours when it comes to opportunities for growth and advancement (i.e. coverage of extended training, mentorship programs, ERGs, or workshops), it's time to say "Goodbye," or "No, thank you."
I remember my first major full-time job in publishing, and there were so many opportunities for growth. There was a stipend to take courses, opportunities to be mentored, company retreats, and a culture that made me feel like a valued team member.
I stayed at that company for almost a decade and had some of the best years of my professional life there. I also experienced growth in my confidence, skill set, and abilities to the point of ascending to a management position. I was also able to come up with a class (of sorts, like high school or college), of amazing Black professionals in media and communications, and make lifelong friends in the industry. These are people who, while we don't talk on the phone all the time, continue to inspire me and drive me to do more in my career.
4. Keep a positive perspective and add fun to your work day.
It's easy to get into a mental cycle of negativity, especially with so much bad going on in the world today. However, getting into the habit of gratitude and documenting wins at work helps to balance this. Keep a journal of your accomplishments, small and large, and be specific. (You can write, for example, that you led a team that brought in new clients or that you were able to boost revenues by 20% with your efforts. You could also write that you arrived on time for 30 days in a row, hired new talent that led to boosts in morale, or led trainings that helped with understanding a new system or way of doing business.)
While you indeed need to be aware of the challenges of working as a Black woman in any business arena, you should also keep your eyes on the prize (as the elders used to tell me growing up in the South as a child). If you are focused on the end goal, you're better able to steer your way through much of the mud of BS and strife that comes along with making boss moves at work.
I once had a situation at a job I loved, where an older professional was trying to get me fired. I'd already impressed managers in multiple departments and always wrote down my wins. Needless to say, not only did I not get fired but I thrived at the company for several more years and ended up befriending the woman who tried to get me fired (years later.) Keeping receipts and having a positive attitude through that ordeal is what led to my survival at that company.
Also, adding a bit of fun to your workday can help with coping with the everyday stresses of any job (whether you like your job or not.) Get active, make meetings you lead fun and engaging (in line with your company's policies and rules), and try out-of-the-box thinking when approaching problem-solving at your job. Smile often and find the humor (when appropriate).
Try to be a light in someone else's work day, and find ways not to take yourself so seriously (especially the higher up you go in your career). I often read emails back to myself before sending them just to find the "fun" or "light" factor to them and will add GIFs, a "LOL" or an exclamation point to take the edge off of a message. I'll also add a compliment, congratulations (if applicable), a fun quote, or a high point (especially to emails that might be about correcting behavior or disciplining someone.) It's super-helpful for me because I find management quite overwhelming and stressful and providing negative feedback is draining.
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5. Allow your purpose, not money or a job, to define and motivate you.
When your foundational motivation is purpose, you're often feeding fulfillment, no matter what role you take or job you have. I have always wanted to help give voice to the voiceless, and I've always been attracted to work that helps advance women, especially my fellow Black women. I've found that the jobs I've thrived in have done just that, even on the days when I feel the work is tedious, annoying, or overwhelming.
I know that if I'm writing or editing stories or working on projects that will achieve that goal, I'm more apt to enjoy the work I do, overall. I also am more likely to offer my best in those roles, versus ones where I don't feel like I'm actively contributing efforts toward purpose.
I once worked a customer service job, when I was in-between clients and needed to supplement my income, and found that the monotony of the job as well as the organization's culture just didn't align with my passion for helping Black women (or empowering women at all). This ultimately led to a very traumatizing end to my employment with the company. I totally disregarded purpose by taking on that job and staying there even when I saw signs that the way they did business just wasn't empowering and didn't align with my values. I also wasn't focused on how I could be a change agent to strategically leverage the opportunity, thus, it ended in an abrupt disaster.
While the position did help fulfill my financial and healthcare needs at the time, I probably would have found myself in a better ending with that particular company had I remembered my career purpose and held true to it.
All in all, if you're strategic, purposeful, deliberate, and open-minded about working a 9-to-5 and making a job work for you, you can find fulfillment and build wealth in order to reach your personal and professional goals. You don't have to be an entrepreneur to find ultimate happiness. You can succeed as a professional who offers the gifts God has given you to the best of your ability and with an end goal that honors why you're here on Earth.
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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