My first job was working as a floral assistant and cashier at a local flower shop. It was quite rewarding, engaging with consumers as they picked up bouquets and arrangements for various occasions. I kept that job for a year before transitioning into a completely different industry. From then up to today, I’ve had over 20-something jobs. Now, I know what you may be thinking: “How have you been able to have so many jobs and bypass the flood of questions that come with job hopping?”
Much of job hopping appropriately requires a clear strategy and understanding of what you are hoping to achieve. Leaving an organization preemptively because you are underpaid, undervalued, or treated poorly is a justifiable reason to job hop. Leaving an organization because you feel you have capped on growth opportunities, even if it's sooner than expected, is a justifiable reason to job hop.
You shouldn’t, however, job hop if you aren’t clear on the fundamentals of your job function. For example, leaving your well-paying role as Project Manager after four months because a TikTok video made you feel you could make more money elsewhere is not a good idea if you are still new to the responsibilities of a Project Manager.
There is a right and wrong way to job hop. To keep things easy as you navigate your corporate journey, here are the general steps you should follow:
@kyyahabdul Is Job Hopping Bad?? No, not inherently. BUT there is a right and wrong way to do it. If you have no idea what you are doing and just job hop to make more money, it will eventually catch up with you and somoone will without a doubt call you out on it. This could make it harder for you to get jobs in the future. The best practice for job hopping is to leave a role once you have mastered it. #corporatelife #corporatetiktok #corporateamerica #jobhopping #jobhopper #jobhop #howtojobhop
Step 1: Stick to the rule of 6 months for entry-level and 18 months for mid-level roles.
Entry-level jobs (0-2 years of experience) are not as challenging as corporations make them out to be. Depending on the industry, responsibilities for early career roles can be mastered in under one year as they tend to be more supporting roles than project-owning roles. Some people may even master their responsibilities within 3 to 6 months. Whether your reasoning is to make more money or have a higher title, you should start looking for new opportunities around the 6-month mark.
Mid-senior level roles are a little different as you’re more likely to own projects from inception to completion. It’s better to remain in these roles until a project completes which spans, on average, from 12 to 18 months. If you leave too many mid-senior roles after 6 months or so, future employers will question or ability to see a projection through completion. It will be a challenge for them to invest in you when you have not shown your ability to invest in a company project.
After this allotted amount of time, you should start to explore other opportunities for higher pay and/or a higher title. Another reason to remain in mid-senior roles for 12 to 18 months is to ensure at least a fraction of your equity vests if you are awarded any at the time of accepting your job offer.
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Step 2: Leave the job after you have mastered the role.
As mentioned above, it’s important to put a 'skill frame' on your job opportunities as opposed to a 'time frame.' The 6-month and 18-month rule in the first step is in regard to the minimum amount of time you should spend in a role. Many people will remain in a job, that does not serve them, for 5, 10, or even 15 years. They have mastered their role and won’t leave because they don’t think they have spent enough time with their organization.
To be frank, your allotted amount of time means nothing if you’re not growing. The reason a professional with 4 years of experience gets the role over the professional with 10 years of experience is that the person with 4 years (the job hopper) had robust experience. They left jobs that stunted their growth and matriculated into roles that diversified their skill set. Meanwhile, the person with 10 years of experience can only serve future employers in limited capacity. They lack a diverse skill set due to their stagnancy.
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Step 3: Address your “job hopping” when transitioning to new roles.
When you are interviewing for a new role, and they ask you why you left company a, b, and c, each after 1 year you explain that: (1) you outgrew your role and felt it was time to transition into a more challenging position or (2) you would have loved to continue growing with your previous organization(s), however, there were no opportunities for growth and no transparency as to when such opportunities may become available.
If you are wanting to job hop but fear what companies may say, don’t. I promise you, a good company will care less about the amount of time you spent and more about what you can bring to the table. Good companies will understand that leaving a toxic work environment or a place that stunts you professionally is a viable reason to job hop. Don’t let a company, recruiter, or colleague guilt you into staying in a role or at a company you’re not pleased with.
A recruiter once told me, “You’re going to ruin your career. You can’t just go hopping from job to job thinking companies will still hire you.” August 2022 marked my 9th year working within the pharmaceutical industry. I am gainfully employed, and content with my current employer. I turned out okay and you will too.
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Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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