Want Fireworks In Your Bedroom This July? 10 Sexually-Charged Tips.
I don’t know where this year is going, but it’s flying right by! Seems like it was just yesterday that I was writing about intimacy for Valentine’s Day, and — ding! — now, Independence Day is right around the corner.
Here’s the thing about this particular holiday, though — whether it’s your favorite one or you could honestly pass on it (because you’re more of a Juneteenth person yourself), I personally think that any time there is an opportunity to get creative in the sex department, we should take full and complete advantage of it.
So, since the Fourth of July is the day when fireworks are in abundance, why not take some of that energy into your bedroom this year by applying some of the following 10 holiday-themed, fully sex-related tips?
1. Create the Mood with Some Confetti Poppers
GiphyLet’s begin with some atmosphere. Although there are sparklers that you can use indoors, if the sex is going to be even a little bit good, if you want to go along with the whole fireworks theme, you should opt for décor that can stick around for more than just a minute or two. In walks,confetti poppers. If you want to give off the fireworks feel in your bedroom, opt for the smaller ones that are traditionally used for baby showers (like thesehere). It’s a unique way to ring in the 4th right before you well…you know. #wink
2. Screw in a Fireworks Light Bulb (No Pun Intended)
GiphySomething else that you can do to create a feel of Independence Day inside of your house is to screw a fireworks light bulb in a couple of places where you plan on creating some sparks. Something that’s cool about a lot of the LED options is they give off subtle light changes without being super bright — if a romantic mood is what you’re after. Some affordable options arehere,here, andhere.
3. Try Some Fireworks Lube
GiphyIt’s kind of a shame that a lot of people only think that lubricant should be used in order to get wet (or wetter) — because no matter how much or well things are flowing down below, lubricant is a welcome addition to a fun evening; that’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”. When you get a chance, check it out. Then, once you’ve read it, get yourself someFireworks Female Arousal Gel; it’s a popular lube that contains a good amount of peppermint (the menthol sensation will be sure to be off the chain!) and glycerin. Many satisfied customers have said that it takes orgasms to a whole ‘nother level, y’all.
4. Or Apple Pie Lubricant
GiphySpeaking of lubricants, when it comes to signature foods for the 4th, outside of grilled meat, it doesn’t get too much more American than apple pie, chile. In the spirit of that, you might also want to cop yourself a tube of edible lubricant that comes in the flavor of this particular dessert like this brand here. I checked out several reviews and women said that not only does it taste pretty good, it provides a bit of a warm sensation as well. Hmph. Sounds like a good ole’ slice of apple pie to me (sans the calories and plus the climaxing — a win all the way around!).
5. Play with Some Sweet Tea Ice Cubes
GiphyAs far as signature drinks go — not just on Independence Day but the summer, in general — is there anything more popular than sweet tea? Southern home-brewed sweet tea, at that? This Fourth of July, when it comes to your bedroom activities, pour some tea into a couple of ice trays, freeze them, and then pull aMookie and Tina (shout-out to the Do the Right Thing movie). Temperature play can definitely increase your stimulation levels; plus, since the tea is sweet, it can be a really nice and unexpected foreplay surprise.
6. Invest in a Popsicle Vibrator
GiphySpeaking of temperature play, if you want to bring a sex toy or two into the mix, why not a popsicle (since that’s pretty popular this time of year, too) vibrator like this onehere? Take the thrill up a notch by applying one of the flavored lubes to it, freezing it, and then using it…however you plan to. I bet you'll never see a popsicle quite the same way again! #wink
7. Or a Strawberry Shortcake Egg
GiphyA summertime dessert that many people just can’t seem to get enough of isstrawberry shortcake. On the sex tip, that’s cool to know because, not only are strawberriesin season right about now, but they are also considered to be abona fide aphrodisiac. That’s because the high amount of vitamin C that is in them can help to keep your libido in great condition. Well, as you’re enjoying some shortcake or strawberries and whipped cream in a more creative kind of way (eh hem), another sex toy option is a Strawberry Shortcake Egg (here). It literally looks like a strawberry, it’s waterproof and fast-charging and it has 20 different vibrating functions. Awesome!
8. Get into the Fireworks Sex Position
GiphyI’m telling you, if you’re tired of doing the same go-to sex moves, cyberspace has a ton of sex position options for you to choose from. For instance, did you even know that there is a sex position known as “fireworks”? Now, I won’t lie — you need to be semi-flexible and have some solid upper arm strength (both of you) in order to really pull it off. Yet, from what I gather, the grinding possibilities, coupled with the direct eye contact, could make for a truly memorable time. You can see the position for yourself here.
9. Go Outdoors
GiphyMost Independence Day activities happen outdoors, right? Why not take your sexual escapades out there, too, by either having sex in your car or in a tent in your backyard (so long as it's nighttime, of course)? Or, you could stay inside; the workaround is to book a room at a hotel and get up on a really high floor so that you can engage in some coitus in front of a window without worrying about if someone is (really) going to see you. It’s a surefire way to pull the exhibitionist out in you — that’s for damn sure!
10. And Enjoy a Lil’ “Sex in the Driveway”
GiphyIt’s not a myth that alcohol can play a role in making sex better — so long as it’s consumed in moderation. In fact,many studies say that a drink or two can make you feel sexier, can sometimes make sex last longer, and for some, it can intensify orgasms as well. So, if you’re looking for a creative cocktail for you and your bae to enjoy this coming holiday, have you ever tried a Sex in the Driveway before? It’s a beautifully blue drink that contains vodka, Blue Curaçao, Peach Schnapps, and Sprite (recipehere). Since you’re gonna be outside for a little while anyway, why not consume something that focuses on that very theme? Happy Fireworks and Fourth, y’all!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Halle Berry On Aging Like Fine Wine: 'I've Always Known That I've Been More Than This Face'
If "aging like a fine wine" was a person, it'd be Halle Berry.
The 58-year-old Never Let Go star recently donned the cover of Marie Claire magazine and she let it be known that though people have highly regarded her beauty and her body throughout much of her career, she is happy to be at an age now where "people will focus on the other aspects of me that I think are way more interesting."
"I’ve always known that I’ve been more than this face and more than this body," she shares with Marie Claire.
The actress and wellness founder has never felt as defined by her looks as she does by the aspects of herself and her nature that she has carefully cultivated through lived experience, knowledge and wisdom gained, her craft and accolades, her motherhood-- she insists that those are the things about herself that move her the most. "I do take ownership over those things that I’ve worked really hard at, and if somebody finds value in those things that lights me up," she tells them.
With physically demanding roles like her directorial turn in Bruised (where she also played double duty as the film's star) and John Wick 3: Parabellum and the recently-released The Union, it's clear Halle isn't letting age slow her career down or stop her from taking on the types of roles that excite her inner child. She told Marie Claire age ain't nothin but a number:
"Age is just a number that they stick on us at birth. As women, we get defined by it way more than men do and sometimes it can debilitate us. It can trick us into thinking what we’re supposed to do. We have to kick that in the face and say, 'No, I’m going to do what I can do as long as I feel good doing it!' And that will be whatever I want it to be. I get to define that."
For Halle, doing what she can do looks like prioritizing her health which was never for aesthetic reasons as it was for longevity reasons. The actress received a diabetes diagnosis in her 20s and has managed to stay off insulin by staying away from sugar. She tells Marie Claire, "Sugar is the enemy. You couldn’t put anything sweet in front of me right now and pay me to eat it. I’m just not interested."
Halle attributes being at what she calls "the pinnacle" of her life and "feeling better and stronger than I did when I was in my 20s" to a regimen that centers on her health and wellness. This includes non-negotiables like daily workouts, red light therapy, progesterone, and hot and cold therapy, to name a few.
Read more of her Marie Claire cover story here.
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