Could The 'O Method' Be Just What You Need To Have The Sex You Want?
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
The O Method for Intense Orgasms
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
Manifestation & The O Method
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
Does the O Method Work? 5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work).
So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Struggling With Vaginal Hyperpigmentation? There Are All-Natural Remedies For That.
Recently, while getting my monthly waxing down below, my waxer was commenting on how healthy my vagina — well, technically it’s my vulva — looks for my age. Lawd, where has the time gone when I’m finally at the point and place where “for my age” is following more and more comments? LOL. Anyway, when I asked her to expound, she went on to say that as women get older, it’s not uncommon to notice more sagging (check out “Vaginas Age Just Like Everything Else. You Can Slow It Down, Though.” and “Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth”) and some discoloration as well.
As I was on my back, legs open and looking up at the ceiling, waiting for her to finish, I first thanked her for the compliment. Then I let her know that, indirectly, she was gonna help me with my next writing check from this platform — because what she said about vaginal discoloration was going to inspire me to do some additional research. And I did.
That said, whether you glance at your vagina on a daily basis, you only do it while you’re in the process of doing a vaginal self-exam (which is always wise), or you’re someone who doesn’t give how your va-jay-jay looks much thought unless you’ve scheduled a professional maintenance appointment or you’re “prepping” for a really hot night (check out “12 Men Told Me What They Love So Much About Vaginas”) — although this is a topic that you may not have considered before, I think you might find a few of these tips to be quite beneficial. That is, if you want to keep your vagina — well, vulva — looking radiant and youthful for as long as you possibly can, anyway.
Check it out.
Vaginal Hyperpigmentation. What’s the Cause?
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Hyperpigmentation. When it comes to your vulva (the outer part of your vagina), whether you couldn’t care less about it or having some low-key irks you to no end, the first thing that you should know is that it’s pretty normal. Although it somewhat varies from person to person, it is important to always keep in mind that there are certain factors that can play a role in just how dark parts of your skin — again, in this case, your vulva — can get.
Factors like what? Well, for starters, your skin contains cells that are known as melanocytes; they are somewhat sensitive to your body’s natural hormones.
So, as your hormones shift (like during puberty, pregnancy, and the later stages of perimenopause), that can cause your skin to get darker when it comes to your vulva, nipples, and even your anus. Something else that can cause hyperpigmentation is constant friction (which is just one more reason to keep wearing super tight pants down to a minimum).
This is because friction can cause bodily inflammation (I just read that rosemary is the best herb for treating inflammation, by the way), and that can lead to discoloration. It should also go on record that sometimes skin experiences hyperpigmentation wherever “folds” in the skin happen (like your underarms or if your vaginal lips are “meaty”). Oh, and if you shave and get ingrown hairs or pimples, that can be a part of the culprit as well.
Are these the only things that can make vaginal hyperpigmentation happen? No. In fact, if your skin down there is super itchy or irritated (and you know that it’s not due to something like BV or ayeast infection), you should get your doctor to check it out. It could be because of an underlying condition like (possibly) diabetes, an STI/STD, or even PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
However, the other causes that I mentioned tend to be the ones that are the most common. And for those, I have 10 all-natural things that you can do at home to 1) help to prevent vaginal hyperpigmentation from transpiring and/or 2) help to even out your vulva’s skin tone if some discoloration has already taken place.
10 All-Natural Things You Can Do At Home To Prevent Vaginal Hyperpigmentation
1. Make Sure Your Panties Are “Breathable”
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Okay, so for those of you who don’t wear any drawers (check out “10 Women Told Me Why They Stopped Wearing Panties (And They Don't Regret It)”), this first tip won’t apply. For the rest of us, though, just like tight jeans (for instance) can cause friction in your vaginal region, so can panties that won’t let your vagina breathe (whether it’s due to sizing or fabrics like spandex or nylon).
The method to the madness here is air carries oxygen andoxygen helps to give your skin the nutrients that it needs to remain healthy. Plus, looser underwear that’s made out of a breathable fabric also prevents chafing that could cause discoloration too. Now that you know this, if you’re not sure if you’re currently wearing the type of undies that are best for your vagina and vulva, I’ve got you covered (no pun intended). Check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”.
2. Exfoliate Your Pubic Mound
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You know how I mentioned my waxer in the intro? Sometimes, she has some pretty wild stories about what happens when she gives someone a Brazilian wax for the first time (yeah, y’all can keep that). Since she said that it can take a good 4-6 months for 1) it not to hurt as much as it initially does and 2) for a person’s skin to fully recover, something that she recommends doing (2-3 days following your hair removal appointment) is exfoliatingyour pubic mound (the fatty area that covers your pelvic region).
Exfoliation helps to remove dead skin cells and turn over new skin, which can ultimately help to even out discoloration on your pubic mound (if you happen to have any).
Since that part of your body is more sensitive than others, my two cents would be to DIY an exfoliant out of some brown sugar (recipehere) or coffee grinds (recipehere). Natural ingredients reduce the chance of (further) irritating your skin.
3. Massage Your Vulva with Some Vitamin E Oil
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If you want your skin to look fresh and radiant on any part of your body, you’ve absolutely got toinvest in some vitamin E oil. The properties in it help to deeply moisturize your skin, relieve any itching that may be associated with mild infections, allergic reactions to fabrics, or basic-level irritation; help to treat and heal eczema and psoriasis; minimize the appearance of scars over time, and it also can slow down your skin’s aging process — including when it comes to your vulva.
Also, sinceboth vitamin E and ginseng have been proven to boost sexual performance in women (which ultimately leads to more natural lubrication), you can’t miss by applying some of this to your vulva just as soon as you possibly can.
4. Apply Geranium Essential Oil
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As I learn more about the purpose and power of essential oils, I wish I had started studying more than the “common” ones much sooner than I did.Take geranium oil, for example. Did you know that it has the ability to soothe sore muscles, speed up the healing process of certain respiratory infections, reduce anxiety and depression-related symptoms, fight candida, and even decrease nerve pain that comes from things like shingles (pretty impressive, right?)
However, the reason why geranium oil is listed here is because it’s also awesome (and non-irritating) when it comes to skincare. What makes it so divine? It reduces wrinkles, contains antibacterial and soothing anti-inflammatory properties, and naturally deodorizes, too.
Also, since this oil also provides a hormone-balancing effect for women who are perimenopausal and menopausal, when it comes to adding to your own essential oil collection, how could you not want some geranium oil now?
5. Or Frankincense Essential Oil
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Personally, if frankincense oil had no real benefits, I’d still use it because I like how it smells. Kind of like woody-meets-musky-meets-sweet-meets feminine. The fact that it’s got somesolidantioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-aging properties in it makes it that much better.For instance, since it’s a stress-reducer, that’s always good to know if you’re doing your best to find holistic ways to keep your hormones as balanced as possible (because stress can put your hormones into influx). Some other notable things about this oil (as far as your vulva goes) are it fights off bacteria, helps to slow down aging signs, and actually balances hormones (and helps to improve fertility), too.
6. Soothe and Heal with Pure Aloe Vera Gel
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So, what if you recently took a look at your vulva and noticed that there is some discoloration due to things like nicking yourself while shaving or your skin getting over a couple of back-to-back yeast infections? One thing that you might want to try is applying some (and this is key) 100 percent pure aloe vera gel to the darker spots. For one thing, its high water content will help moisturize your skin.
Next, its anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, antiviral, and antiseptic will do wonders when it comes to helping to heal your skin.Another perk of the gel is it’s actually a natural source ofsalicylic acid, which means that it can help prevent future breakouts (if you happen to get pimples and acne scars down there). Plus, it also fades discoloration (over time) and slows down the aging process of your skin.
7. Take Vitamin C and D Supplements
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Did you know thatalmost every American in this country is not getting all of the nutrients that they need from their diet alone? Yeah, don’t get me started on what people’s health would look like if the United States actually covered healthcare costs (eye roll). ANYWAY, I’m just saying this to say that if you don’t already take a multivitamin, now is as good a time as ever to start. Or, if you’d prefer to take certain supplements that are specific to this article, vitamins C and D are your better bet.
Vitamin C is bomb because it’s great for skin health overall; it boosts collagen levels, helps to prevent infections, and speeds up the process of wound healing. Vitamin D is great because it helps to maintain your vagina’s pH levels, reduces the chances of vaginal infections, and if you happen to be on the other side of menopause, it can help with your libido and make arousal easier — and since vitamin D deficiency is so common among us (Black women) that is certainly something to especially keep in mind.
8. Use Lubrication During Sex
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The main reasons why your body naturally lubricates your vagina during sexual activity are so that 1) penetration will not be painful and 2) there won’t be a ton of unnecessary friction during sexual acts. Yep, and there goes that word again: friction. Whether you struggle with getting as wet as you’d like due to hormonal reasons (or foreplay challenges; check out “What If The Sex Is Good...But The Foreplay Isn't?”) or you’re simply someone who takes the saying “the wetter, the better” quite literally (check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”), just remember that when it comes to preventing vaginal hyperpigmentation, all forms of lubricant will always be your friend.
9. Try Some Rose Bush Butter
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It really is amazing, the random things that you can find out on the World Wide Web. Take a product called Rose Bush, P-ssy Butter. I first stumbled upon it whilereading an article about it on Well + Good’s website. The reason why it sings the butter’s praises is that it can do so many things for your vaginal region, from moisturizing and preventing chafing to making it smell great and serving as an all-natural lubrication (if you’re someone who DOESN’T use condoms).
Word on the street is that it can even help to keepyour vagina’s pH where it’s supposed to be (which is always a bonus!). So, if you’re looking for something that can help, and heal your vulva, why not give some rose bush butter a shot? You can cop yourself some of ithere.
10. Sleep Naked
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Last one. Your vagina and vulva don’t want to experience friction, especially not 24 hours a day. That’s why it’s important to at least give them both a break during your sleeping hours. That will give them time to get more oxygen, regulate their temperature, prevent excess moisture from creating the perfect breeding ground for a yeast infection, and it will help to keep your hormones balanced, too. At the end of the day,sleeping naked is one of the best ways to be proactive when it comes to avoiding vaginal hyperpigmentation. No doubt about it, sis. So make sure to do it….tonight.
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Welp. There you have it: 10 all-natural ways to keep your vulva looking as good as (hopefully) it feels. Test some of the remedies out. Let me know how it goes. Especially that rose butter, aight? #wink
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