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Sex Might Take Your Manifestation Practice To New Heights

It's time to start having better sex. And not for the obvious reasons.


I don't know who needs to hear this, but sis, it's time for you to start having better sex. And not for the obvious reasons. Yes, we all know that sex is great for boosting the immune system, improving your sleep, clearing your skin, and is a form of preventative medicine. But did you also know that sex is a great inclusion to your manifestation practices? When exercised properly, your orgasms can be the gateway to getting the things you ultimately want in life. This can be achieved through a little-known practice called "sex magic."

Now sex magic is a tantric ritual dating back to the 19th century. It is the practice of harnessing your sexual energy and your power to bring the things you want in life to fruition. It can be done either by yourself through solo pleasure or with your partner(s). What's most important is that when you do begin your sex magic practice, you remain grounded, keeping your intentions as the focal point.

How to Practice Sex Magic


There is no perfect way to practice sex magic. There are no specific intentions that you should set. You don't have to share anything with anyone. And best of all, you don't even need to have an orgasm. So for those who struggle with achieving the "Big O," you too can still engage in sex magic as long as you remain focused on your energy.

Before practicing sex magic always create a welcoming environment. One that feels comfortable and keeps you present and at ease. This could mean lighting candles, burning incense, donning your sexiest lingerie, or playing music that gets you in the mood. You should also hone in on your intentions.

Whether it's writing out your goals, creating checklists, or even using the vision boards that many of you have recently made, begin to visualize yourself having the things you want.

Focus on the Outcome You Desire

As you begin to focus on your desires, it is important to be specific. Like with all manifestation practices, being specific is key as we truly have the power to speak things into existence. That and you don't want to get less than or something not quite what you're asking for. If you want a million dollars, see yourself receiving that amount. If you want a new house, see the exact house you want. If you want to travel more, see yourself getting on planes and going to places you have always dreamed of.

Whatever it is that you want to manifest for yourself, keep that image in your mind when it's time for the main event. For an added bonus, you can even include your sex magic practice with your New or Full Moon rituals. You can also incorporate crystals, essential oils, and/or herbs.

While having sex, whether it be with yourself or someone else, focus on your breath and embrace those feelings of walking into your manifestations throughout your body. If you want, you can begin to calmly and silently repeat a mantra of your choosing to yourself. One that will help to intensify your intentions bringing you closer to your orgasm or deepening your pleasure. As you approach your big finish, see your intentions skyrocketing into outer space, solidifying that you have successfully put your desires out into the universe. And when you're done, express gratitude for what just took place.

Focus on Yourself


One important thing to note when practicing sex magic is to focus on yourself. Like other forms of manifestation, your sex magic practice is to be used solely for the purpose of elevating the things that you want out of life. It is a personal moment used and not to be used as a means to control or manipulate someone else's fate. So if you're thinking about using sex magic as a way to force your partner to propose to you, think again. Because at the end of the day, using spells, magic, or anything else on another person does nothing but cause it to backfire. And we don't want that for ourselves.

At the end of the day, your sex magic practice can be an empowering tool once you master the art of using it. It can be used to change your trajectory, help you to better visualize your goals, and even connect with yourself on a deeper level. So the next time you're feeling in the mood, try incorporating a sex magic ritual or two into your sexcapades. And give your sex life the heightened experience it deserves.

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I was determined to set the mood and engage in some erotic self-focus by way of masturbation, and I wanted to do so with a little more variety than my wand vibrator provides. My commitment to almost daily masturbation was affirmed even further with the arrival of what would become my new favorite sex toy, the viral Lovers’ Thump & Thrust Dual Vibrator.

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If there is one artist who has had a very successful and eventful year so far it’s Mary J. Blige. The “Queen of Hip-Hop Soul” shut down the 2022 Super Bowl Half-time show along with Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, and Eminem, she also performed at NBA All-Star weekend and now she is being honored as one of Time's most influential people of 2022.

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When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

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