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Mistletoe Around Your Waist (And Other Christmas-Themed Sex Ideas)
Although I’m personally not a holiday kind of gal, because I am all for people getting the most out of their sexual experiences, I do look forward to special occasions when I can pen pieces like this. Why? While so many people are stressing themselves completely out as they plan to celebrate the Christmas season, I like to recommend ways that they can incorporate this time of year with an activity that can bring their anxiety levels down and truly bring some peace and goodwill — to their own man.
That said, it really is crazy to take in that Christmas is just a few days away. However, while you’re out here hustlin’ and bustlin’ to get your last-minute items together, here are 15 things that you can do to make the nights leading into Christmas and, possibly the night of, one that will even give Black Santa a run for his money.
1. Text Him Your Sex Wish List
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Sometimes, wives will ask me for a subtle way to convey to their husbands that sex has fallen into a bit of a rut without bruising their ego (wise call). This time of the year is a perfect opportunity to get certain, umm, requests in because, since this is the season of giving, you can share some (new) desires that you have without it coming off like you’re complaining. So, why not put together your own sex wish list and share it with him? You can do it by sexting. After all, there are reports that say that sexting has the ability to boost your partner’s self-esteem and build trust with them as well. How can all of that not work in your favor this Christmas — and beyond?
2. Get Some Velvet Handcuffs
While some of y’all may have thought that bondage is no more than a fetish or kink, there are actually some proven benefits to participating on some level in this type of sexual activity. One in particular that I once read is it can cause “sensory deprivation,” and while, on the onset, that might seem like a bad thing, what that actually can do is cause your anticipation levels to spike, which can intensify your sexual experience overall.
And so, since velvet is winter’s “signature fabric,” why not cop (pun not intended) some velvet handcuffs while you’re doing your holiday shopping?
3. Invest in a Portable Fireplace and Faux Fur Rug
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Listen, Brian McKnight gets all sorts of side-eye from me these days (if ya know, ya know), yet we’d all be in some serious denial if, when the topic of top Christmas songs (especially in the Black community) comes up, “Let It Snow” (Boyz II Men featuring Brian McKnight) doesn’t almost immediately come to mind. In the visual, we get what I oftentimes think of when I reflect on the quintessential Christmas scene: a log cabin, a fireplace, and I’m pretty sure there’s a fur rug on the floor somewhere up in there. It’s romantic. It’s cozy. And it’s hella sensual.
And guess what? Even if you don’t have a fireplace, there are portable ones that you can purchase. There are compact ones (like this one here) or electric stoves that look like fireplaces (like this one here) that you can buy, or there are even little tabletop fire pits (like this one here) that are pretty adorable. As far as the rugs go, these days, they’ve got some faux fur ones that feel amazing and won’t break your budget. My suggestion would be to go to Amazon and put “faux fur rugs” in the search field; especially if you want to try and get one by Christmas.
4. Send Your Man a “Naughty” Christmas Card
You would think that with as attached to our phones that we are these days and with the rising costs of stamps (don’t get me to cussin’), the greeting card industry would be struggling. Nope. I actually recently read that a whopping one billion cards go out in this country alone on an annual basis. So, in order to help get your partner even more in the mood, why not send him a naughty rather than nice Christmas card? Etsy is my jam, and I recently saw a card on the site that had two ginger people on it with the message “taste my cookie” on it (you can cop it here). Or you can get damn near filthy and make one from scratch.
5. Light Some Clove-Scented Candles
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When it comes to scents that are associated with Christmas, cloves are definitely one of them. And guess what? They are also considered to be an aphrodisiac. Both the scent and consumption of them help to reduce stress, and, when you cook with them, they can help you to feel all warm ‘n fuzzy down below. And since candlelight not only creates a sensual atmosphere, it can also be ideal if you’re into wax play (you can read more about that here)…why not get some soy (they burn longer and cleaner) clove-scented candles? These alone will help to get you and your partner instantly in the mood.
6. Fill a Garter Stocking with Some Sexy Surprises
Hanging stockings from a fireplace or mantel is pretty common during Christmas. Well, since this is about sex-themed Christmas ideas, why not fill a sexy garter with little sexy surprises? Maybe some Santa Condom Pops. Some tiny truth-or-dare cards. A cock ring. Some sex position cards. A handwritten love/sex letter. A hotel room reservation for Christmas or New Year’s. Some sex dice. A nipple and clitoris chain (that you both can enjoy). A couple of sex tokens. A sexy scent.
The possibilities are truly endless.
7. Bake Some (Sex Position) Ginger Christmas Cookies
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It’s pretty common to see a gingerbread house, some ginger snaps, or some other ginger-based dessert during the holidays. Okay, but did you know that ginger is actually considered to be another solid aphrodisiac? I’m dead serious. Science says that it “triggers” a sexual stimuli in both men and women in a way that intensifies sexual arousal. Not only that, but it can increase blood flow to your genitalia as well as increase fertility (whew, chile!). And now that you see some bona fide reasons to make some ginger cookies, why not send a few hints by having your ginger cookie people participate in a few sex positions? Etsy has several merchants who sell Kama Sutra cookie cutters. A few of them can be found here, here and here.
8. Create Some “Naughty or Nice” Coupons
Has your man been naughty or nice this year? With any luck, he’s actually been a bit of both. If you want to reward him for balancing things so well, make him some naughty or nice coupons. The naughty ones can feature sexual things that he can “redeem” from you throughout the upcoming year, while the nice ones can feature things like taking him out to his favorite spot or cooking him his favorite meal on a random weeknight. If you need some help as far as how to literally design the coupons, The Dating Divas published an article entitled, “24 DIY Love Coupons for Him” that can point you in the right direction.
9. Hang Some Christmas-Themed LED Lights
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One of the best things about Christmas is driving around at night and looking at all of the pretty lights. Some that I saw online, that I found to be pretty stunning, were LED lights that were designed to mimic meteor showers (you can see and buy them here). And that gave me even more sexy Christmas inspiration. Whether you string some lights from your bed, you bring a mini Christmas tree into your bedroom, or you’ve got a tree out back that you can hang some lights from to look at during afterplay, hang some lights somewhere. They can be very sensual — plus, can it really feel like Christmas without ‘em?
10. Use Some Hot Chocolate Lubricant
nfortunately, a lot of the time, whenever the topic of lubrication comes up, people think that it’s only for women who may have trouble getting wet (or wetter) — and that couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s actually why I once wrote, “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant,” because there are all kinds of ways to incorporate it into your sexual plans. Not only does more lube create less friction (which means that you can go longer…both of you), the sensation of wetness is pretty damn erotic too.
And since I’d be floored if you went an entire holiday season without at least one cup of hot chocolate, in the spirit of how delicious hot chocolate is, why not invest in some hot chocolate-flavored lube? One place that I found some is located here.
11. How About Some Cannabis Chocolate Caramel Candy?
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What’s Christmas without candy, and what’s sex without weed? Okay, I know that might’ve been a bit of a wild segue, yet you really can combine Christmas, candy, and cannabis if you truly want to. For instance, there are sweet treats like Sensi Chew Amoré Chocolate Caramel Aphrodisiac that can help to get you and your partner totally right as far as getting (and staying) in the mood is concerned. And why would you even want to give this a shot? Because if anything can help to make you more uninhibited, it’s weed. If you don’t believe me, check out “7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better” and “Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day” at your leisure.
12. Explore with Some Peppermint Frosting
A couple of years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”. One of the things that got a shout-out was frosting. It’s super sweet. It’s easier to clean up than, say, syrup or honey. And since you’ll probably have some frosting lying around anyway, why not bring some into your bedroom? And while we’re on the topic, why not, in the spirit of Christmas, have it be peppermint-flavored? While there are some mixed reviews on the consumption of mint being able to lower a man’s testosterone levels, adding a few drops of peppermint oil to some frosting isn’t going to cause any harm. If anything, the menthol sensation will make for him receiving fellatio a truly mind-blowing experience — umm, so I’ve heard. #wink
13. “Deck Your Halls” with Some Edible Glitter
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Glitter is something we see a lot around this time of year. With that being said, it’s almost impossible to imagine what life was like before YouTube. Lawd. And won’t it help you in a pinch when you want to learn something real quick? For instance, I was recently looking for how to make edible glitter (I forgot) and stumbled upon a channel called My Lockdown Rasoi. It featured a way to make edible glitter with just two ingredients (you can watch it here). If I’ve gotta explain this tip…I don’t know what to tell you, sis.
14. Swap Out Your Safe Word with a Jingle Bell
So, what if some of the things on that wish list of yours have you a little nervous when it comes time to actually execute them? I hear you. To keep along with the whole Christmas theme, instead of using a safe word over the next couple of weeks, why not get yourself a jingle bell instead?
It’s a festive way to slow things down and pretty easy to find at a local arts and crafts store during this time of the year.
15. Wear Some Mistletoe Around Your Waist
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Anyone who knows me knows that I am big on discovering the origin stories of things (which is why engagement ring pressure irks me to no end; you can read about it here). So, since mistletoe comes up, A LOT, during Christmastime, I definitely looked it up to see what all of the hype was about. Well, aside from the fact that it is actually a parasitic plant that provides nourishment to birds, butterflies, and various mammals, the reason why we hold the tradition of kissing underneath them is because, way back in the day, to Celtic Druids, they were a symbol of fertility while to Norse mythology, they were a symbol of peace and love. Also, apparently, a goddess by the name of Figg lost her son to an arrow that was made out of mistletoe, and so she declared that anyone who walked underneath mistletoe should kiss instead of using it as a weapon.
And since kissing is definitely what still holds true as far as mistletoe goes today, why stop at the mouth? Wear some mistletoe anywhere on your body where you want to be deeply kissed. Around this time of year, you should be able to find some at your local nursery or online at sites like Amazon. If you pin a piece of it to some sexy red lingerie or on your garter belt, how could your partner not get the hint? Talk about “and to all a good night”, chile. Enjoy, sis! ENJOY.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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