I've had weed in my lifetime. Smoked it. Tried a couple of edibles. One time, I underestimated the power of medicinal weed and lawd—that is another article for another day! But I'm not even close to what quite a few folks in my world are. I mean, I've got some real, top-notch, bona fide weed connoisseur in my space. And if there's one thing that they all unanimously agree on, it's the fact that if you want to take your sexual experience to another level, adding a little Mary Jane, brown sugar, cannabis into your life will definitely help you to do it.
If you're someone who is skeptical about that, I totally wrote this with you in mind. Not so much as a "commercial" for you to try cannabis yourself (to each their own, chile), but so you will consider having a more open mind about weed, in general and those who do enjoy it—whether they do so in the bedroom, out of it or both. By the way, I also wrote it for the weed-curious who are wondering if they really should believe the hype. So, are you ready to learn some of the sexual benefits that can directly come from a puff-puff-pass?
1. Weed Reduces Anxiety
If you're someone who struggles with feelings of anxiety, weed is something that could very well help you out. I once read a study that stated, out of the 9,000 people surveyed, half of them said that weed helped them to cope with anxiety, stress and depression-related symptoms more. That's because weed is capable of bringing calm and even improving one's quality of rest; especially if you're someone who is particularly sensitive to phobias, social anxiety, PTSD or sleep disorders.
How this ties into sex is, pretty much any reputable physician or sex therapist will vouch for the fact that, the reason why a lot of women struggle with climaxing is because they are overly anxious. If weed is brought into the mix, it can move your stress and tension out of the way, making it easier for you to orgasm. Sounds good to me.
2. Weed Can Give You an Energy Boost
If you're someone who is the living and breathing definition of the mind wanting to do what the body just can't seem to muster up, this is one more reason to give weed a try. There are certain strains that can legitimately give you quite the energy charge, so that you can have sex—or have it longer—than you usually do. A real popular weed pick-me-up strain is sativa. That's because it has a high THC (the compound in cannabis that gives you the "high feeling" effect) count (it sits somewhere around 22 percent). You can read more about this particular kind of strain here.
3. Weed Relieves Physical Discomfort
If you don't enjoy sex as much as you'd like to and it's strictly because you're in some type of physical pain or discomfort, weed can help here too. Not only is it able to help to modulate pain and elevate your serotonin (the natural chemical that calms your nerves and makes you feel happier) receptors but, the reality is, when you're feeling good, you tend to focus on pain less. Just one more reason to give weed a try, huh?
4. Weed Relaxes You
I'm thinking that it's a given that sex is always better when you're in a chilled out and relaxed kind of headspace. Well, something else that weed is really great at doing is taking some of the edge off, so that you are able to feel more peaceful. When it comes to this particular perk, the key is to take the "less is more approach" because, too much of a good thing, can actually trigger hyperactivity in some individuals. It's also a good idea to opt for a strain that is either indica-dominant or sativa-dominant; both of those have been proven to give the best woo-sah results.
5. Weed Can Make You Hornier
When it comes to what causes a low libido in women, the reasons run the gamut—hormonal imbalances; medical issues like diabetes, high blood pressure and arthritis; drinking too much alcohol; sleep deprivation; pain during sex and straight-up fatigue. For the record, if you're someone who normally has a fairly high drive and just recently, it has tanked, it's always a good idea to make an appointment with your doctor to see if there are any underlying health issues going on. If there's not, weed is something that can crank up your sex drive too. A strain known as limonene is one that comes with citrus scent varieties and can produce a strong euphoric feeling that can totally put you in the mood for coitus.
6. Weed Intensifies Orgasms
Can sex be good without an orgasm? Yep. Is sex a billion times more rewarding when you're able to have one? Also, yes. And guess what? There are many studies out here to support that another benefit that comes from incorporating weed into your sex life is it's able to intensify orgasms; especially our orgasms. I actually recently read an article that cited a study at Stanford Medical Heart's urology division. It said that, because weed definitely makes us less anxious and more relaxed, we don't overthink and less overthinking leads to 1) more orgasms and 2) better ones.
7. CBD Lube Is the Ultimate Weed Complement
This platform is such a fan of CBD lube that we actually did an article on it. Please make sure to read "Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day" when you get a chance. In the meantime, if you want the Reader's Digest version of why you should, at the very least, add some of this kind of lubricant into your sex collection, I'll share a couple of solid reasons.
For one thing, lubricant always makes sex better, especially for us, because the wetter we are, the more pleasurable sex can be. As far as CBD specifically, it is the non-psychoactive compound in weed that comes with many medicinal benefits. Sexually, it's great because it's able to heighten sensitivity in your genital region and also help to decrease any discomfort if you happen to have a partner who is "blessed" in the packing department (if you know what I mean).
BONUS: Make Sure to Consider the Strain
Something that you might've noticed is, when it came to a few of these points, I also made sure to mention a particular kind of strain of cannabis as well. The reality is, not all weed is created equal; different kinds come with a different backstory and set of benefits. So, if there's a specific type of "effect" that you're looking for, it's a good idea to do some research on the strains that exist out in these streets. A site that can help you out is Leafly and an article that can help you out on the site is "The best strains of all time: 100 popular cannabis strains to try before you die". As far as where to cop various strains, this link here will help you to know if your state has legalized medicinal and/or recreational weed and this link here is just one place where you can order from dispensaries online.
Oh, and if you decide to go the edible route, just keep in mind that it can be hard to know how much weed—and therefore, how much THC—is in a brownie or cookie. If there's too much, you can easily go from swinging off of chandeliers to literally climbing the walls. So, on that tip, proceed with caution.
Welp. There you have it. Seven solid reasons why sex and weed do mix. In a really big, hot, erotic and euphoric kind of way. Wheeeeew.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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