Since starting my workout journey, I have tried almost everything to reach my health goals – HIIT, cardio, etc. Fortunately, I quickly realized I am a weightlifting warrior who likes to throw in yoga occasionally. Now, in true “new to this, not true to this” fashion, I hopped on YouTube to learn some simple yoga moves and their alternatives I could practice during warm-ups and post-workout stretches.
After nearly two months of practicing different poses, I remember one day, I suddenly felt “different.” I did not cry, but I experienced what felt like a release, and when I was done, my back and shoulders felt lighter. Additionally, my spirit felt a little more at ease. Since I did not fully understand what happened, I decided to tap on an expert’s shoulder.
Divinity Gaines is a yoga instructor, dancer, personal trainer, and content creator. In our talk, she explained the release I experienced and shared the best poses for an emotional release. “When we talk about yoga, people associate it with just poses, but it is much more,” Divinity explained. “Yoga possesses eight limbs.”
The eight limbs of yoga, or Ashtanga, are:
- Yama (Self-restraint)
- Niyama (Observance)
- Asana (Movement and posture)
- Pranayama (Breath)
- Pratyahara (Withdrawal of senses)
- Dharana (Concentration)
- Dhyana (Meditation)
- Samadhi (Union)
When explaining to me the "why" behind my emotional release while doing yoga, Divinity noted that the physical movement of my practices is the limb called asana. She continued, “The emotional release you feel is just that. We hold tension within our bodies throughout. We have energy channels on both sides of us. These channels run through our bodies, and people associate different energy points with their chakras. And yoga opens those channels.”
Not all emotional releases look the same; therefore, you do not necessarily have to worry about an “ugly cry” while doing poses. For example, sometimes, an individual will experience samadhi, which is “ultimate bliss.” However, regardless of your pose, you will not experience that release if you are not breathing throughout.
“If you are using your pranayama (breath), then you will experience that release,” Divinity stated.
Divinity GainesPhoto courtesy of Divinity GainesTop 5 (Physical) Yoga Poses for An Emotional Release
Even though you can practice many yoga poses for an emotional release, Divinity has provided her top five poses to get us started.
1. Lizard Pose/Utthan Pristhasan – The lizard pose is a deep hip flexor opener perfect for someone experiencing high stress and can release unconscious trauma. It deals with your second chakra – Svadhisthana (sacral chakra), which is linked to confidence, survival instinct, creativity, and a feeling of generosity.
Begin on all fours in Downward Dog, ensuring your feet are hip-width apart and your chin stays tucked under your chest. Next, step your right foot forward to the outside edge of your right hand, entering a lunge position. Next, lower your left knee to the ground and press into your hips, keeping your arms and back straight. Then, slowly lower onto your forearms, keeping your back flat and your head aligned with your spine. Finally, press up onto the ball of your left foot as you straighten your left leg. Hold the pose and then repeat on the other side.
2. Pigeon Pose/ Eka Pada Rajakapotasana – The Pigeon Pose is another hip flexor opener that deals with our second chakra. It can be an intense emotional release and tension release.
Start with your knees under your hips and your hands slightly before your shoulders. Bring your left knee forward and out to the left, position your left foot in front of your right knee, and rest the outside of your left foot on the floor. Slide your right leg back, straighten the knee, tuck your toes under, and push through the fingertips to lift your torso and lengthen the spine. Keep your hips squared, press your tailbone down and forward, open the chest, and gaze up.
3. Supta Baddha Konasana – For anyone experiencing anxiety, stress, or a scattered mind, then the Supta Baddha Konasana is an excellent move for you. It stimulates your sacral chakra, which is associated with your sex organs, and root chakras, which are responsible for your sense of security and stability.
Lie on your back. Bend your knees, keeping the soles of your feet on the floor. Next, open your knees out to either side, bringing the soles of your feet together. Your arms can be in any comfortable position—out in a T shape, overhead, relaxed by your sides, or resting on your thighs are some options. Stay here for several minutes as gravity works to deepen your stretch. Breathe naturally throughout the pose. To come out of the pose, reach down and help your knees come back together. Then roll over to one side and use your hands to support you as you sit up.
4. Camel Pose/Utrasana – The Camel Pose is for anyone with a hurting heart. It involves your heart chakra and heart opener. For example, if you recently experienced a breakup and want to release that pain, then try this move.
Place your knees hip-width apart in kneeling, and tuck your toes. Engage your inner thighs, draw your lower belly in and up, and roll your shoulders back. On an inhalation, lengthen through both side waists, and lift the chest. With the lower body stable, on an exhale, start to come into your backbend, lifting the chest without crunching the neck or lower back. As you lean back, find your blocks or heels with your hands – or you can do this one side at a time by circling one arm up and behind you. Keep your inner thighs engaged, firm the shoulder blades into the back, and stay for a couple of breaths. Use your inhalation to help you back up, then sit on your heels with a neutral spine for a moment.
5. Inversion Pose – The last pose releases trauma, promotes emotional growth, and re-toxifies your blood. These poses allow your blood to circulate. An Inversion Pose is any move where your heart is higher than your head, such as a headstand.
Although yoga is a great tool to help with emotional release, incorporating other activities, such as therapy or journaling, can also help.
Divinity Gaines is a former NBA dancer turned Yogi. Her website offers a mind and body release program and a 21-day fitness challenge (all levels welcomed). In addition, she teaches yoga at Core Power in Hollywood on Mondays and Wednesdays.
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Feature image courtesy of Divinity Gaines
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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