I dare not lie and say I have all the answers to fighting systematic racism or the social injustice that continues to plague black folks. In fact, a few weeks ago I was just as angry, tired, and confused as the next person. I cried my tears, stewed in my frustration, and vented until I could vent no more.
I had an honest moment with myself, admitting that all the reposting in the world did little to fix the issues at hand. After coming to grips with this reality, I decided I was going to do something that mattered, but what? Between work, a baby, and COVID, I knew protesting in the streets was a no go for me. Thankfully, my Sorority sent out a call-to-action that included several ways I could make a difference from home. Once I worked through that initial list, I stumbled upon resource after resource and even created a few ideas of my own.
Here is a rundown of some of my faves thus far.
When We All Vote
If you are like me, you have seen activists everywhere harping on the importance of voting. There is a reason for that. Our vote dictates more than who becomes President, it influences who serves as District Attorney, Mayor, City Councilmen, and so forth.
Make a concerted effort to learn more about the issues affecting your state and hometown. Next, look at which candidates seem most aligned with the needs of your community. Take note of their stance regarding social injustice and other issues facing the black community. Mark your calendar with reminders of election days in your city. Finally, if you've moved, changed your name, or just aren't registered to vote, you can visit whenweallvote.org to register.
See Something, Say Something
We often discount the power of our voice. If you notice a lack of diversity or an instance of social injustice, call it out and ask for help changing it. It is as simple as writing or calling your Congressman to state your concerns and what you'd like to see happen as a result of those concerns. If you're not sure where to begin, NAACP.org does a great job of laying out some of these concerns in an easy-to-understand format that you can use as a guide.
Lack of diversity at work? Write your CEO to respectfully explain your experience as a black employee, why it matters and solutions for change. You may be surprised to see the impact your voice truly makes.
Participate in the Census
There's not enough emphasis placed on truly understanding the importance of the census.
The census is vital to change because it directly affects billions of federal government budgetary allocations. These allocations could be the difference between funding community centers in black neighborhoods or elsewhere. Nearly everything you can think of is impacted by the census – public transit systems, highway repairs and construction, free lunch, daycare, and housing assistance just to name a few. In addition, the census determines congressional representation. It is also used to draw congressional legislative districts as well as state legislative districts. The opportunity only comes once in a decade and it's here now. If you haven't already completed your 2020 Census, visit 2020Census.gov. The process is quick and painless but makes a world of difference.
Spend Consciously
With black consumers spending more than any other demographic group, now is the time to put your money where your mouth is. Only shop with socially responsible companies who reflect good diversity practices and are in the fight for equality with us. Be conscious about supporting Black-owned businesses and double down on your philanthropic efforts by contributing to organizations that are making a difference in your community. Not sure whether you should support a brand? Go follow @pullupforchange. You will find diversity stats and action plans for a ton of major brands with the list growing daily.
Use Your Influence
Been sitting on a great idea? Now's your chance to put it out there. Get creative about effectuating change by leading your own movement. Do not despise small beginnings. If everyone did something positive, imagine the difference we could make.
For my part, I have hosted a little black dress photo challenge to bring awareness to the slaying of Breonna Taylor and raise funds for justice. Aside from this, I created an email template that can be used as a starting point for discussing workplace diversity. The outcome of these efforts has been phenomenal. A huge reminder that we all have what it takes to fight the power by using our voice and our resources.
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Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
Sean Anthony Eddy/ Getty Images
Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
Carlos Barquero/ Getty Images
Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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