Even though I’ve been rockin’ an H-cup for quite some time now, it’s still funny when I haven’t seen someone in a while, and they try and not low-key gasp when they take me all in with their eyes. I get it — kind of. I mean, if the last time you saw me was when I was in my 20s, it is quite a shift that’s transpired as far as my upper region goes. Plus, whenever I look down at these bad boys, I only see half of my breasts. And since they don’t feel heavy at all (not sure why but…), it’s not until I’m in a full-length mirror that I get that they are pretty, well, let’s go with “wondrous” to behold.
I ain’t complaining. The women on my father’s side of the family bestowed them upon me. What I will say, though, is when you’re a card-carrying member of the Over D-Cup and Up Club, “to whom much is given, much is required” is quite the understatement. Over the years, I’ve had to learn how to take good and then better care of my girls. And what I’ve learned, through a bit of trial and error, are the following 15 things.
If you’re in the club with me, hopefully, you’ll learn a hack or two that can make your breasts more of a blessing and less of a burden (if that’s how they’ve been making you feel as of late).
1. Get Fitted for Bras on an Annual Basis
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Listen, again, as someone who wears a 38H, I already know that this one will probably cause some of you to roll your eyes, yet the reality is that bra experts say that we all (regardless of size) need to have no less than 4-6 bras that we rotate and then replace every 6-12 months. Can that get to be expensive? When you’ve got large girls, yes. At the same time, that’s why getting professionally fitted, yes, on an annual basis, is such a wise move.
Not only can you make sure that you are the same size as before (listen, I jumped from a C-cup to an H-cup in my 30s), but you can also discover brands that may work better for you than the ones you currently wear; ones that might be cheaper. My recommendation? Consider Wacoal. The price point is not super ridiculous; they fit comfortably, and they’ve got some that don’t look boring and bland (y’all know what I mean). Plus, you can oftentimes find pretty good sales on sites like Amazon.
2. Avoid Synthetic Bras
Before the article is over, we’ll talk about breasts and yeast infections. A few years back, I had a DOOZY of one underneath my left breast, and a part of the reason was that I was constantly wearing bras that were made out of synthetic fabrics like rayon, nylon, and spandex (or a blend) instead of “breathable bras” like cotton or silk.
We all know that bras stay on for literally hours at a time, and when you’re a D+ woman, that’s a lot of flesh that’s tucked away in them. The less sweat and moisture that’s trapped up in your bras, the more your skin will ultimately thank you for it. So, unless you’re trying to be sexy for a few minutes, leave synthetic bras alone.
3. Buy an “Asymmetrical-Friendly” Bra
I once read that a whopping 90 percent of women have some sort of “unevenness” when it comes to their breasts. Why is that the case? It’s because we all have two sides of our body that are more like sisters than twins. That’s why you might not have identical eyebrows no matter how hard you try to shape them, or one eye, hand, or foot might be slightly larger than the other.
There’s nothing wrong with any of this, yet if your breasts do have you feeling a bit self-conscious, there are some bras that are designed to give the appearance that things are “balanced out.” T-shirt bras, plunge bras, and balconette bras all fit the bill. The bra expert who helps to fit you for new bras should be able to give you some suggestions, too.
4. Pay Attention to Your (Natural) Estrogen Consumption
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Back when my breasts were “doing the most” as far as growth goes, because I was no longer in puberty, I did ask my doctor (at the time) what the hell was going on. One thing was genetics. Another? My diet. Just like birth control can make your breasts bigger due, in part, to the level of estrogen that is in them, phytoestrogens can do the same thing. What are those? In the context of what I’m talking about, they’re foods that have plant-based estrogen in them.
So, if you’re a big fan of foods like plums, pears, apples, grapes, cabbage, spinach, tofu, garlic, onions, or beans, you are taking a form of estrogen into your system — and that could be playing a direct role into why your breasts seem to be getting larger. The bottom line here? Don’t overdo anything. Keep it all in balance.
5. Always Wear a Sports Bra While Working Out
Something that I’ve had to accept over here at the big age that I am is if I want my breasts to remain looking as youthful as they did when I was in my 20s and 30s, I’m going to have to exercise more often. If you’re slowly starting to surrender to that fact as well, please make sure that you invest in a sports bra for ample support. You are going to be absolutely miserable if you’re trying to get your run on or do some push-ups if the girls are flying and flopping all over the place. If you’d like a few tips on where to get a great sports bra, check out Women’s Health’s article, “The 19 Best Sports Bras for Women With Big Boobs.”
6. Build Up Your Pectoral Muscles
Speaking of a good sports bra for exercising, no matter what size your breasts may be, they are guaranteed to lose elastin over time; that’s just the way life is. If you want to keep them looking perky — or at least, perkier — without going under the knife, developing your pectoral muscles is the way to go. If you want to incorporate this more into your own workout routine, check out Women’s Health’s “The 20 Best Chest Exercises To Add To Your Upper-Body Workouts, According To A Trainer” and Shape’s “The Best Chest Workout for Women.” I’m telling you, every time I focus on my pecs, my breasts (and bustline) always look fuller. Never fails.
7. Watch Your Alcohol Intake
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Some things aren’t shared with you in order to make you paranoid; some things are just a reminder to do (most) things in moderation. And that’s where this point about alcohol comes in. While, on one hand, alcohol comes with some health benefits (check out “10 Ways Alcohol Can Be Good For You Past A Great Buzz”), the flip side is it can increase your chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer. How? Well, alcohol can cause an uptick in your estrogen levels, and when that happens, not only could it lead to larger breasts, but there’s a chance that it could increase your chances of breast cancer, too. Again, that’s nothing to get super worried about; it’s simply something to take special note of.
8. Massage Your Breasts on a Weekly Basis
I’m thinking that you already know that you should be conducting routine breast self-examinations every 7-10 days after your period starts. Yet if you also want to improve the appearance of your breasts, performing a breast massage on a weekly basis is a really good idea, too. It increases blood flow to your breasts, helps to increase elasticity to the skin and it can also help them to sag less. Just apply a carrier oil like olive or sweet almond and gently rub in a circular motion for about half of a 30-minute sitcom. You should notice a difference in how they appear within a month or so.
9. DIY Some Cornstarch Pads
Boob sweat. Sometimes, especially during the hotter seasons, it’s unavoidable; that’s the bad news. The good news is that you can combat it naturally with the help of some homemade cornstarch pads. It’s simple. Just sprinkle some cornstarch on a few make-up pads and place the pads underneath each of your breasts after putting on your bra. Not only is cornstarch a highly effective way to absorb excess moisture, but it also contains amino acids that will help keep the collagen and elastin in your breasts strong and healthy.
10. Invest in an Essential Oil Collection
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Something that I’m super thankful for is I don’t have many stretch marks, really anywhere, but definitely not only my breasts. There’s nothing wrong with those either; all they are is the result of your skin stretching out further and/or faster than the elasticity in your skin is able to accommodate. If this is your personal testimony (especially if it’s due to pregnancy, which made your breast sizes jump a few cups), something that can help is to apply argan, lavender, neroli, pomegranate, or frankincense (that’s been mixed with a carrier oil like coconut, sweet almond or grapeseed oil) to them on a daily basis. Not only will this help with the elasticity of your skin, but it can make your breasts appear softer and more supple as well.
11. Use Hemp Oil or Mango Butter for Itchy Skin
With big breasts comes more skin to maintain. So, if itchiness is what you’re dealing with, it could be due to dry skin, eczema or psoriasis, or your breast skin stretching out. Two things that can help with any of these reasons are hemp oil or mango butter. Hemp oil can reduce skin inflammation as it deeply moisturizes. Mango butter is full of Vitamin A and fatty acids that will not only hydrate your skin, it will also soften the appearance of stretch marks and help to keep your breasts looking younger. For a lot of reasons, I’ve been a fan of mango butter for years. Personally, I like to whip up a batch of my own. You can check out a quick YT video on how to DIY some for yourself here.
12. Have Some Anti-Fungal Cream on Tap
Okay, something I must admit that I used to have a habit of doing is, whenever I would bathe or shower, although I would lift up my breasts to wash the skin that’s underneath them, I wasn’t exactly looking at what was going on under there — and I should’ve. One day, it was feeling so itchy and raw that I stood in the mirror and was damn near horrified. Why? Because I had a purple ring that was shiny and looked slightly sweaty. It was a yeast infection.
Yep, contrary to what a lot of people think, you can experience an overgrowth of yeast just about anywhere. Mine was so bad that I had to take an antibiotic to clear everything up (look up under there at least twice a week, y’all!); however, if you start to notice some itchiness or redness and your skin doesn’t look raw (just like it has some “sheen” to it), applying the same kind of antifungal that you would if you had a vaginal yeast infection can help to get rid of a breast yeast infection fairly quickly. Yep. A tube of Monistat is a must-have for women with big breasts.
13. Try Some Red Clover Extract
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Whether you’re in menopause or perimenopause, something all-natural that can help to bring some relief is red clover extract. Word on the street is that it’s great at reducing hot flashes, decreasing depression-related symptoms, and also helping with vaginal dryness — all of which can transpire as your body is shifting into menopause.
Since it’s also a solid remedy for improving the texture of both your hair as well as your skin, I just thought I would put it on record for this article too, especially if your nipples feel rougher or drier than usual.
14. Don’t Wear Bras While You’re at Home
To be totally candid, the debate of whether or not you should wear a bra is one that we’ll probably not come to a full agreement on while the earth continues to spin, especially when you’re a D-cup or above. The reason why I’m personally Team No Bra when you’re at home is because there is scientific evidence to back up the fact that, by not constantly suppressing your breasts in a bra, that can make it easier for collagen to flow through them, and that can help your breasts to ultimately look and feel firmer.
So, as long as having your girls “run wild and free” doesn’t hurt your back or feel uncomfortable, in general, give them a break when you walk in the door from work. The paranoia about that leading to sagging? You’d have to go much longer than you think (hours and hours for months on end) for that to be a major cause of concern.
15. Avoid Sleeping on Your Stomach (As Much As Possible)
Even though sleeping on your stomach may feel comfortable, did you know that it doesn’t actually have any solid health benefits to it? In fact, according to many sleep experts, other than reducing snoring, it can ultimately do your body more harm than good, especially since it has the tendency to totally throw your spine out of whack. Something else that it can do is cause your breasts' ligaments to stretch out, which, along with aging, breastfeeding, menopause, obesity, and collagen deficiencies, can also cause less firmness in the breasts. So, if you want to keep the big girls sitting up as much as possible, sleeping on your side or back is best.
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Having a lot of breasts comes with a lot, no doubt. As you can see, though, with some knowledge and implemented TLC, they can always be seen as a blessing and not a curse. Take care of your girls — you’ll never regret taking the extra steps to ensure that they are…good.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
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It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
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Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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