Why Black Women Are Declaring Rest & Self-Preservation For The Next Four Years
It's been weeks since the election results have come in, and the resounding response of millions of Black women all over the country has been unequivocal: America, you're on your own. Exit polls showed that 92% of Black women voted for Kamala Harris, an even higher number than those who voted for Joe Biden in 2020.
It's clear that we showed up when it mattered most. But are we surprised? We always do our part; the rest of this country didn’t do theirs, and it’s not up to us to save y’all this time.
Yet, as the shadow of a Trump inauguration looms, Black women, myself included, have taken to social media to declare that whatever happens next, we won't be the leaders of any movements or causes because we did our part; it's time for the rest of America to do what our ancestors have done since the moment we were brought to this country - work.
Why Rest Is Needed
Black women are proclaiming the next four years as a time of rest and deep self-preservation, a contrast to the resilience we've demonstrated time and time again for the sake of the greater good and during this election process.
Our strength was evident in the monumental Win With Black Women Zoom call that saw over 44,000 (including myself and my mama) participants rally to raise more than 1.5 million dollars for Harris's campaign and in the endorsements from powerful figures like Oprah Winfrey, Angela Bassett, Kerry Washington, Viola Davis, and Beyoncé.
We showed up and showed out to win this election (like we did for Obama and Joe Biden) and still—we lost. So what's next? According to the sentiments of thousands of Black women online - we do what our mamas and grandmas used to do when we didn’t want to eat what they cooked for dinner: let them fend for themselves.
Our needs should be the first priority, and this election process has been traumatizing enough. The racial rhetoric that we’ve endured surrounding Kamala Harris and the questions of her race, qualifications, and overall worthiness have made it very clear that this country continues to not see us as good enough.
So let them navigate the next four years without us. By taking care of ourselves, we affirm our importance and contribute to our own resilience - leaving a legacy of radical self-care for the Black girls of today and the future to know that at this time in our nation's history, we took a unified stand of rest.
How Chronic Stress Impacts Black Women Differently
Studies have shown that chronic stress biologically ages Black women faster than white women in a process called weathering. The term was coined by Dr. Arline T. Geronimus, a public health researcher during her time at Princeton University in 1992 and in her book titled Weathering. Her findings show how marginalized communities are at a higher risk of the chronic stress that comes from living in a racist society.
Additionally, 2021 research on race-related stress shows that not only are Black women exposed to higher levels of chronic stress, but it can also affect our central nervous system, cognition and learning, immune system functions, cardiovascular systems, gastrointestinal complications, and overall mortality.
Speaking with experts regarding Black women's stance post-election, trauma therapist Ashley McGirt-Adair suggests that right now, she doesn’t recommend Black women do anything outside of rest. "During this time, Black women should embrace rest without guilt, engage in joyful activities, practice mindfulness and community care, celebrate your strengths, seek professional support, and lastly, play music and dance." She places emphasis on dance most of all, as our music and movement has long been a way to connect and embrace the joy that is our birthright.
McGirt-Adair also points to the women of the Black Panther Party, whose embodiment of joy and Black pride fueled their resilience. "When I watch videos of the Black Panther Party, I see their fists held high. Afros. All black and enjoying each other's Blackness. Too often, we equate Blackness with oppression, but it's joy, and that is what I think we should be doing. Resting and experiencing joy."
And as joy is our birthright, so is the right to push back against the idea that Black women exist to serve. Chronic stress wreaks havoc on our bodies, leading to serious health risks like hypertension and heart disease. Andrea Dalzell, RN, eloquently states, along with the knowledge that rest is a form of resistance, a nod to Tricia Hersey’s teachings through The Nap Ministry and her novel Rest is Resistance. “By prioritizing rest, Black women can continue leading, advocating, and uplifting from a place of resilience rather than depletion,” Dalzell says.
As Jasmine Johnson, an exercise psychologist and yoga instructor, emphasizes, rest is a fundamental need for survival, not just an option. It's a necessity, and we must reinforce within our community that it's perfectly acceptable to take a step back. "We can take our crowns off and rest," she urges, reminding us that attending to our well-being is paramount.
In this moment in history, whether you are, in the words of our illustrious Vice President Kamala Harris, rolling up your sleeves, or you’re taking the stance of rest is resistance, know that you deserve to prioritize yourself. Not just today, but every single day that matters because your life and overall wellness quite literally depend on it. We have been the backbone of movements and change, and now it's time to care for our minds, bodies, and spirits.
By prioritizing our needs, we can chart a new path forward to ensure rest is our birthright, and when (and if) we so choose to ready ourselves to lead the charge when the call comes again.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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