

Juneteenth aka Freedom Day aka Emancipation Day aka June 19, 1865, commemorates the actual end of slavery. Contrary to popular belief, July 4, 1776, was not inclusive of all people per America's modus operandi; the 4th of July only represents the day that white male Americans became free. Thanks to social activists and the movement that is Black culture, Juneteenth's history, meaning, and importance have become more prevalent over the past few years.
It wasn't until very recently that I learned that the Statue of Liberty doesn't only represent the strength and resilience of immigrants but was initially created to celebrate the emancipation of slaves. The more I learn about Juneteenth the more I feel an immense duty to celebrate my blackness every day but even more on June 19th. We owe it to General Granger, the Union soldiers, and our ancestors to celebrate the culture and achievements of Black folks because we deserve that. We deserve celebration.
As we continue to live out loud, we thought it was important to share the stories of the women who show up for the culture and fight for freedom from all chains every day. Keep reading for what that looks like for these social justice mavens.
Share the story of how you learned about Juneteenth.
Now that I look back on growing up in the Midwest with a household of four generations, our daily life defined how we had overcome so many racial injustices and impacts of slavery. My grandfather migrated to Detroit, Michigan for a job in the factory shortly after becoming an entrepreneur and buying a home in a prestigious Detroit neighborhood where blacks weren't welcome at one point and time. My grandmother worked a good job at the hospital and my mom was the first to go to college in our family. They worked hard and we lived well, with almost every holiday being a really big occasion showcasing our gratitude and how far our family had come with my grandfather sharing stories of how he remembers his grandparents who picked cotton — Juneteenth was an empowering day filled with family traditions in the backyard.
What does Juneteenth mean to you?
When [talking about] slavery, I like to make a conscious effort to look at it with a multi-lens approach rather than just the 400 years America dates it to. Juneteenth is an opportunity to learn, share and express the knowledge and truth of who black people were before slavery, what we went through as slaves, and how we are moving toward the future.
How do you define freedom?
Freedom is the ability to think, do and be with no limits or restraints whether that be physical, mental or emotional. While freedom for my ancestors meant not being a slave and having full citizenship rights, in today's time my generation is facing the challenges of breaking free from a learned limiting mindset to a life of unlimited possibility and purpose.
How are you celebrating Juneteenth this year?
My life's work holds the commitment of being even more intentional about my servant leadership dedicating philanthropic time and efforts to racial disparities of black Americans. Later this year, a national non-profit that I co-founded with an amazing group of leaders will be launching that positively impact black Americans who have been impacted by slavery. Having a direct hand in the impact of racial disparities of wealth that still impacts community, families, and individuals is something that should not be swept under the rug, but confronted in the most honest and transformational way. We are coming to change generations.
Share the story of how you learned about Juneteenth.
I feel like the story of Juneteenth is a story that has always lived with me and has been part of the fabric of my life that has informed my Blackness. I cannot pinpoint when exactly I learned about it. I remember feeling literal jubilee when learning that my people wasted no time once they learned they were free exiting those plantations and casting off the label of chattel.
What does Juneteenth mean to you?
Juneteenth is about ancestral veneration and commemorating the bold act of love that our ancestors exercised in choosing to live and survive under the most horrific circumstances. Juneteenth also reminds me that you truly cannot stop freedom from coming. You cannot stop the freedom train because it is always on time.
How do you define freedom?
Angela Davis teaches us that "freedom is a constant struggle." Which means we must always struggle to keep it, take it, and define it for ourselves. Freedom to me is Black people being free from premature death engineered by racism, Black people being able to love themselves and embody their gender and sexuality as they define them and freedom to access their bodily sovereignty without the fear of state violence or interference. Black people being free to access the full range of their emotions, rest, and joy while having all of their basic needs met and not feeling like they must be excellent to matter. This freedom cannot happen unless our indigenous kin gets their lands back and figure out how to stop this climate disaster.
How are you celebrating Juneteenth this year?
I will journal, tend to my altar, meditate on freedom, and share the love with the Black people in my life.
"Juneteenth is a time for all Black people situated in these United States never to forget that we are miracles. We were not meant to survive, and yet here we are. We must not ever forget that no Black person is free until we are all free."
Juneteenth being in Pride Month is also an invitation for all Black people to never forget about our queer, transgender, and non-binary kin whose freedom is also bound up with our collective Black freedom. There were queer folks on the plantation and those slave ships. It's all of us or none of us.
Share the story of how you learned about Juneteenth.
I grew up in New York City, when I was about six or seven, I went to the Juneteenth festival in Harlem with my grandparents. That's when I first learned about Juneteenth. I initially learned about it as a celebration of life. As the years progressed, I was introduced to more of the history and I was able to engage in thoughtful conversations with the elders of my family. My grandparents are "Old World" Harlem, they spent a lot of time when I was a child and even now in their 91 years of living, teaching me and younger members of my family who we are and where we come from.
What does Juneteenth mean to you?
Juneteenth is a reminder that I do not exist alone and I am a reflection of every single one of my ancestors. I like to think of myself as an embodied figure of ghosts. Juneteenth reminds me that I am rooted in their struggles and their joys on a day-to-day basis.
How do you define freedom?
Freedom is waking up every morning and thanking the spirits who cradled me as I slept and who will have my back all day as I fulfill their wildest dreams. Freedom is curiosity; it's the space to be curious about me and this world. Freedom is detangling myself from the racist, sexist, capitalist, and colonized structures of our society that attempt to grip me and hold me down. Freedom is liberation and liberation is an internal experience that cannot be taken away.
How are you celebrating Juneteenth this year?
This probably isn't the most exciting response, but I will celebrate as I celebrate my life every day, by giving thanks to those who came before me and showing myself the utmost respect and care by choosing to rest because I and they deserve it.
Share the story of how you learned about Juneteenth.
Growing up, I never knew the importance of Juneteenth. I just knew my family and community would celebrate by coming together to barbecue, gather and talk. That was the norm for many years until I was old enough to research on my own. What I thought I knew, just a generic version of the truth, became much greater and important to me. The day enslaved African-Americans learned they were free in the south. This meant free from bondage, free from abuse, free from "ownership". This was also a turn for African-Americans as this moment emphasized achievements and education.
What does Juneteenth mean to you?
Juneteenth inspires me to keep educating my community about the modern-day liberations we deserve as a community. Never forget how far we've come as a community and how far we need to go as a community. Juneteenth is more than barbecuing and gathering, although we deserve it plus more, but it also means celebrating the sacrifices our ancestors took for us to get here.
How do you define freedom?
Some people believe because we're "free" we have "freedom". Freedom for me looks like reparations for my community. Equal opportunity for my community. An equal justice system for my community. Free from the mental chains placed on our black men and boys as they step foot out their doors. Physically free from the harsh sentencing placed on our minority community for small defenses. Freedom comes in many forms, because we are free from the chains does not mean we are truly free in this country.
How are you celebrating Juneteenth this year?
This year is different for me in terms of celebrating because of the pandemic. I usually participate in marches, rallies, and conferences. This year I will educate my community virtually by going live via social media and spreading knowledge to others. Also, go grab some of that barbecue my family loves to make.
Last year and this year there was a spark within grassroots leaders and fighters. It amazed me to see how much attention was brought to an ongoing fight within our community. As a community, let's keep this fight going on and off the streets and remember we have children looking up to us. We must pave the way for them as our ancestors did for us.
Featured image courtesy of Meagan Ward
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images