Over the past four years, xoNecole and its social platforms have become the perfect space for Black Girl Magic to thrive in all its glory.
We laughed together.
Cried together.
Shared our breakup stories and major wins while giving everyday women a voice to be heard and felt.
And as we near our 5th anniversary, we wanted to curate a safe space to connect with our tribe even deeper.
We are proud to announce our new members community The xoTribe!
If glowing up with a gang of fly and fearless women striving to be their best selves in life, love and everything in between is your thing, then The xoTribe is the right place for you. Join our private members community where conversations come to life as you chop it up with the xoNecole editors and gain a supportive tribe of women from around the globe.
You can sit with us!
Membership Perks
- Gain access to industry leaders through our Mentor Monday sessions and archive of digital fireside chats
- Get access to discounted xoNecole event tickets before they are available to the general public
- Connect with xoNecole editors for feedback on your story ideas and articles for possible publication on the site
- Get notifications for job announcements within xoNecole and the opportunity to be a part of our brand ambassador program
- Get notified when there are new networking events and conferences happening in your city
- Have your business or brand featured in the xoNecole newsletter, website and social media by submitting to our Small Business Saturdays
- Connect with and get advice from xoNecole founder Necole Kane
And we can't forget the supportive gang of amazing women that you'll meet in one of the safest spaces on the Internet for women of color.
So, are you in or nah? Click here to join the xoTribe today and connect with us!
Featured image by Giphy
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VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
Courtesy
I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
Courtesy
So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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