It's the fourth quarter. October 1 through December 31 marks the most compressed time of the year. Everyone is trying to finish the year strong and be better than they were on January 1. And while that's all well and good, being busy isn't cool anymore. It's all about being balanced.
As we know better and do better, we learn our unique balance equation. For us, that equation includes affirmations. Whether you need some inspiration or want to add this as a daily practice, we hope this menu of affirmations helps you speak life into this last quarter of the year.
1.Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good.
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The truth is: we are all learning, growing, and overcoming obstacles. Things don't always make sense at the moment and this affirmation validates that trusting the process is essential. Remember that you are being led to a greater destination and a better outcome. Keep believing.
2.My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.
When it comes to healing, you must include your entire being which is your mind, body, and soul. We have learned that the mind is the power of the brain, the soul is the power of the body, and the soul is your spiritual essence. Ideally, you want to be balanced in all three areas to maintain alignment. When one is off, you feel it and the best way to stay aware is by checking in with yourself.
3.Breathing in, I focus on what I can control. Breathing out, I release what I can’t control.
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Go ahead and free yourself by releasing what you cannot control. It's definitely easier said than done but when you release, you make room for greater. This affirmation helps us to shift our vision and prioritize things that serve us.
4.I am inspiring people through my work.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you matter. You were placed in this world with an assignment and each day that you show up for yourself, you empower someone else to do the same. Isn't that powerful? By simply walking in your purpose, you show someone else that it is possible and they can do it too.
5.I am turning DOWN the volume of negativity in my life, while simultaneously turning UP the volume of positivity.
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When you build positive thoughts, positive actions follow. It's difficult to not have negative thoughts but we want to challenge you to follow them with positivity when they appear. Think of it as your emotional contingency plan when things don't go as we want them to. The mindfulness practice, AWARE, can help you break the cycle:
- Accept: Acknowledge your thoughts but don't become them.
- Watch: Pay attention to your body and what and how you feel.
- Act: Journaling and visualizing are great ways to move into action.
- Repeat: If you feel yourself spiraling, repeat the three steps above: accept, watch, and act.
- Expect: Last but not least, expect realistic improvement.
6.I have clarity and energy.
Mental clarity leads to an appreciation of your life. You see the positivity in all things and it creates a space free from distractions. As someone who overthinks, clarity helps me to be present because my brain space is allocated for things that fill me up.
As for energy, Emily Maroutian says:
"Energy is the currency of the universe. When you 'pay' attention to something, you buy that experience. So when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates with the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive, not just within you, but in the collective consciousness as well."
7.I am the architect of my life; I built its foundation and will choose its contents.
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The first step in being the architect of your own life is believing and deciding that you create the life you desire. Just as you hire contractors to build your dream house, you must employ yourself to design a life you'll love.
8.I’ve made it through hard times before, and I’ve come out stronger and better because of them. I’m going to make it through this.
Surviving hard times makes us resilient and while it's difficult to remember this when you're in the middle of a storm, acceptance opens the door to purpose. Everything happens for a reason and finding the silver lining supports healthy self-esteem.
9.Note to self: I am going to make you so proud.
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To acknowledge your growth is to have a strong sense of self-worth. It's OK to be proud of yourself and we would even say that you should take some time to brag about yourself to yourself while keeping an attitude of gratitude.
10.Through the power of my thoughts and words, incredible transformations are happening in me and within my life right now.
Our habitual thoughts and actions determine our destiny so it's time to think about the life-changing events we will soon experience. In order for transformations to happen, you have to release outdated thoughts and actions. God and the universe won't move until you do.
For more inspiration, self-care, and healing tips, check out xoNecole's Wellness section here.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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