The Biggest Takeaways From xoNecole's First-Ever ElevateHER Crawl
A mirage of pink and purple balloons come into focus as I step into the building. I can faintly make out the beats of "Before I Let Go" and muffled laughter as I walk up to the counter. Suddenly I hear an empowering, Kiki-filled "Courtney!" behind me. An overwhelming sense of comfort comes over me and, at this point, I have to check myself. I'm in Atlanta at a business networking conference with my cards in hand and my elevator pitch memorized. So, why does it feel like I just walked into my favorite hair salon on an early Saturday morning?
It's Saturday morning but I'm not at the salon, I'm at xoNecole's first annual ElevateHER presented by Toyota Corolla and I'm already in love.
Artist Melissa Mitchell giving us life.Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
The first 300 attendees received custom tote bags
Black women are the fastest growing economic force in the United States and that's a fact Necole Kane understands like the back of her hand. It could be argued that Necole is one of the biggest pioneers of that entrepreneurial spirit in the digital space, both personally and through xoNecole.
xoNecole's SHEeo vibing out at the ElevateHER entrance.Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
Boss Babes Link Up was a perfect networking wall where attendees wrote out what they needed and what they offered.
This one-of-a-kind marketplace was a community of digital and traditional business women who are, above all else, enthusiastic to see other women win. An expertly curated space with Instagram-worthy backdrops and an extraordinary DJ who understands how to get a party started were merely exciting add-ons to the empowering experience of ElevateHER. Over 700 women filled Mason Fine Art Gallery to shop a varied array of 25+ black women-owned vendors like Melissa Butler's The Lip Bar, LaKeasha Brown's 1987 Juices, Candice Cox's CanDid Art, Charline Shelby's Fabulina Designs, and Tay Watts' Posh Candle Co. to name a few.
Swank Blue
Bask & Bloom
Play Pits
The Lip Bar
As attendees we got even more bang for our buck as we were able to listen to panelists give testimonies and real-life advice for propelling women forward. The speakers included host Dana Blair, Ezinne Kwubiri (the Head of Inclusion and Diversity for H&M), Pauleanna Reid (a Forbes.com Senior Contributor), Tamisha Harris (a CNN/HLN producer), Janell Stephens (the founder of Camille Rose Naturals), Alicia Scott (the founder of RANGE Beauty), Christina Rice (the founder of OMNoire), and Shavonne Riggins (the founder of Curlkalon) as well as a surprise appearance by Hollywood producer Will Packer.
Dana Blair moderating the Elevator Pitch panel featuring Christina Rice, Tamisha Harris, Pauleanna Reid, and Ezinne Kwubiri.Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
To top all of that off, we were even treated to free palm and tarot readings, henna, drinks with the "you can sip with us" slogan served by Crown Royal and Baileys, and musical stylings by the ever-talented lady spinners DJ OHSO and DJ Traci Steele.
DJ Traci Steele had the crowd bumpin' on the 1s and 2s. Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
VIP attendees enjoying complimentary drinks from the Crown Royal bar.Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
Attendees were able to kickback in the Crown Royal lounge complete with cocktails, Vegan bites, henna, palm readings and astrologists.
The Real Queens fix each other's crowns walls was an attendee favorite and reminded us of the Queens that we are.
An underlying theme throughout the event was the idea of timing.
It wasn't your usual "trust timing" mantra we see on Instagram but instead, a diligent lesson on how timing works with the power of intention to progress towards your goals. It takes more than perfect timing for an idea to come to fruition. Timing is nothing without intentional execution and dedicated hard work.
From Necole's keynote about her career pivot and being acquired by Will Packer Media to each panelist on the Elevator Pitch panel co-signing to this theme in one way or another, this message wasn't the only one received all day. In fact, below are a few more key takeaways.
1. Your trajectory is yours to own.
Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
Necole delivered a beautiful keynote on the power of understanding and leaning into your journey, especially when you're just starting out. One of the key points touched on was the pressures from the outside world on where you're supposed to be or who you're supposed to be. Oftentimes we internalize the pressures and opinions of others and allow it to direct the trajectory of our careers. A big moment in the room happened after Necole described the feeling of people telling her how moving to Phoenix wouldn't advance her career. Her response? "Will Packer found me in Phoenix." Sis, yes. Hello. The moment was received by so many in the room who feel limited by circumstances like location, and shed a light on the facts that location isn't what's important.
Throughout her chat, she stressed the importance of listening to your inner voice and moving towards your personal happiness; a sentiment that was echoed other times at the conference. The aha-moment was when Necole shared why she was so determined to execute this event perfectly. "This event is the epitome of my new direction," she says.
"Young girls are watching and this has to be a success. This is the only way I can push forward with this acquisition."
Support is excellent but without execution, it's just an idea.
2. Us supporting Us.
Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
By now, we've all seen the stats on how long the black dollar lives in the black community. It's more important than ever to cultivate real spaces for the black community to invest in one another. We aren't readily found in the aisles of Target, the racks at Saks 5th Avenue, or the counters of top retailers (yet). Awareness and information are needed to build this financial community and ElevateHER Crawl was a giant step in that direction.
When Will Packer took the pink stage, the energy was amplified by a thousand. Will understood the importance of investing in the community that helped me to his billion-dollar successes, and he made it clear at every turn.
"I have made over a billion dollars at the box office. You know who drove me to that billion-dollar success? Black women. You did that. So when the time came for me to put my money and my resources where my mouth was, guess who I wanted to invest in? A black girl, you damn right."
The message: We are enough. A message that wasn't only present in Will's speech, but seen in every aspect of the event. From the 25 shop owners on Vendor Row, to the team Necole invested in for the day, it was all manifestation of this sentiment. ElevateHER showed what can happen when passion, community, and resources come together. We are enough and we have enough to build this community.
3. Substance over Flash.
Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
The key to any great event is substance.
The pretty colors and photo-ready corners are nice, but the heart of any conference lies in the information. Each panel was expertly chosen and perfectly crafted to fulfill the needs of real, working women. Panelists focused on tangible and actionable pieces of advice needed to propel women forward in business. The industries were far-ranging and each speaker brought a unique perspective to the subject at hand.
For those hoping to produce an event similar to ElevateHER, I encourage you to take this advice to heart. A conference is more than a place for a cute photo. It's about crafting a unique and extraordinary experience for whatever community you support. This also applies to the work you're doing; it's more than the aesthetic of your Instagram. The real work happens in boardrooms, on conference calls, and in the hours of labor that aren't captured on video. It was a common trope from almost every panelist (including Necole herself) that your primary focus should be crafting and creating a quality product/service, not how many followers or likes you get.
I have never been in a space so uplifting, encouraging, and dynamic as ElevateHER Crawl. I've never left an event feeling so motivated and confident in my abilities as a woman. Above all else, the community presence was real. A slew of women loving other women is always my jam, and the foundation of ElevateHER. For those looking for a conference to call home, I also encourage you to attend ElevateHER next year.
We can only get bigger and better from here.
Photo by Carol Lee Rose for xoNecole
Want a peek at more of ElevateHER? Check out some of the event's highlights in the slideshow below:
Featured image by Carol Lee Rose
- 11 Scalp and Strand Products That Will Keep Your Protective Style ... ›
- 10 Products to Clean Your Scalp While in a Protective Style ... ›
- How To Soothe An Itchy Scalp Protective Style | Real Beautiful by ... ›
- 12 Protective Style Products for Natural Hair To Help With Growth ... ›
- The Best Spray, Liquid, And Gel Shampoos For Box Braids ›
Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
Meet The Designer Behind This Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" Video Look
When Megan Thee Stallion dropped “Hiss,” a shift happened. From the audacious lyrics to the striking visuals, there was no doubt that the song and video would go viral. The opening of the video shows the H-town hottie rocking a barely there Shibari red dress, showing off her voluptuous frame. It was a sexy moment created by Timeekah Murphy of Alani Taylor. The designer exclusively tells us how the opportunity came about and what it was like seeing her design on Megan for the first time.
Timeekah Murphy
Photo courtesy
xoNecole: How did the opportunity to create such an iconic look for Megan Thee Stallion's "Hiss" video come about?
Timeekah Murphy: The opportunity came from a DM from celebrity stylist Zerina Akers. She asked for a unique Shibari piece for Megan, and I needed to get it done in two days. So, of course, I did everything in my power to make it happen. I've always wanted to design for Megan, so this was an awesome opportunity for me.
xoN: What was that initial feeling of seeing the dress on her for the first time?
TM: I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
xoN: Did you meet her? If so, how was that moment?
TM: I didn't meet Megan during the shoot, but during my time in LA, I got the opportunity to meet her at LA Pride with Tiffany Haddish, Common, and EJ King (stylist). Megan is such an amazing person, so it made it even better to know that my designs were going to be worn by her. I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her.
"I was shocked because, at first, I thought it hadn't been used. I saw Megan's last video and thought, damn, maybe it didn't fit. So, to see it on such an amazing video was breathtaking. I was beyond excited to finally say I designed for her."
Photo courtesy
xoN: Walk us through the creation of the dress. How did you come up with the look, and how long did it take to make it?
TM: I was the co-designer for a brand called Deviant in 2018-2020, and we used to make custom Shibari pieces. That's how Zerina knew me. So I'm very familiar with making these types of pieces. We made plenty for Beyoncé, Cardi B, Tiffany Haddish, Tyra Banks, and so many others. So Zerina knew exactly what she wanted.
To get it done, it took me a day and a half. It's very intricate and time-consuming, so I spent about six hours making it then I sent an image of it to Zerina, and she didn't approve the first one, so I had to start from scratch again after getting my guidance and understanding of what was needed. The next day, I went to The Lab and created another version, and she approved it. I had to get it shipped overnight so that she would get it in time and fast forward to seeing it on the big screen.
xoN: What's next for you?
TM: Everything. The sky is not my limit, so the Alani Taylor brand is expanding into so many different avenues. We are getting involved in the community more, offering sewing classes to the youth. I've opened up a store for my brand in Atlanta and now preparing for fall/winter Fashion Week.
Megan Thee Stallion "Hiss" video/ YouTube
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Dating Apps Are Out, Meeting People IRL Is In — And Here’s How To Do It.
Whoever coined the phrase, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it,” certainly was not referring to the state of our dating scene. Whether online or in real life, you don't have to go far to hear the grievances of singles calling for the immediate repair of all leaks, cracks, and fractures in the dating pool.
No matter the state you live in, your age, how much you earn for a living, or if you’re a chronic app dater, there’s a general consensus that something (anything) must be done to restore the hope of singles looking for long-term, fulfilling relationships. And as many of us hold on to the hope for an unexpected cross-encounter with our next love story, others are leaning on the side of giving up completely. But before throwing in the towel, it might be time to make a few adjustments.
Dating Apps Are In Their Flop Era, Making Connections IRL Is Where It's At
Alistair Berg/Getty Images
Many singles agree that spending their leisure time swiping through dating apps is out. What’s in is stepping out of one's comfort zone to make connections in the real world. Scary. We know. But unless you were one of the lucky few to find love on dating apps before its flop era or made a love connection from home during the pandemic, going about your dating life the same way is bound to render the same results: being single with a headache. And we want better for you.
It’s safe to say that constantly meeting strangers off the internet for a chance to find love has lost its charm, leaving singles open to the train, farmer’s market, the gym, or a friend’s house party to be prime real estate for matching up with potential partners.
This shift, as Marissa Nelson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and BLK’s Relationship and Intimacy Expert tells xoNecole, is due in part to a growing concern about the authenticity of online profiles — in other words: is what you’re seeing, in fact, what you’re getting? “From their profile picture, what they say they do, the height they say they are; it’s this fear of, ‘Am I really talking to who I think I'm speaking to?'” she explains.
On our journey to finding “the one” out in the real world, a common question is, “Where do you find the available singles?” The short answer is, everywhere. The long answer is at the grocery store, on a plane, during happy hours, at work, at a conference, on a solo vacation, or, as Nelson puts it, anywhere you are showing up as your most open and vulnerable self.
“You never know where the connection is going to come from, which is why it's even more important to be receptive, to stay open, be curious, and lean into your vulnerability,” she says. In fact, Nelson encourages singles to release themselves of the rigidity around finding the perfect person at the “perfect” place, because, in essence, there isn’t one. “We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people,” she says. “We have to be open to however love shows up.”
"We have to let go of the constraints that we can only go to singles events to meet people. We have to be open to however love shows up."
We all can relate to the fact that the idea of shooting our shot in real life is a lot more exciting than the actual act. The relationship expert explains that one of the greatest hesitations to us putting ourselves out there and taking a chance on love is rooted in the fear of rejection. However, it’s important to keep in mind that “we’ve all been hurt” and most importantly, “we’re all afraid of rejection.”
That’s why Nelson suggests the following strategies to make the first move and find love in your everyday life.
1. Don't close yourself off.
“When you relax your expectations, you start to meet really cool people. Some of those cool people became friends and that makes your life richer because now, you have new friends and great people to hang out with. Even if it wasn't a love match, it can become a significant or meaningful friendship.”
2. Don't let your "type" hold you back.
“We all have a type. And a lot of women will say, ‘I like them tall. I like them like this or that.’ When we’re rigid about who we believe we ought to be with versus being open to people who might be more aligned with our values, we close ourselves off. Sure, you're not going to date somebody that you are absolutely not attracted to. But people have a lot of unwritten rules around who they will allow themselves to get to know, and I challenge people to challenge their rules because that can hold you back from expansive experiences.”
skynesher/Getty Images
3. Make the first move.
“I think that if we can be bold, be brave, and if there's somebody that's good-looking, catches your eye, or just seems like they have a good vibe, we can approach them with curiosity. Ask them how they're doing. Introduce yourself. It doesn't have to lead to all these things; you can just have chemistry and flow from there.”
4. Ask better questions.
“When you meet someone for the first time, asking them ‘What do you do?’ is not the best first question because that only tells you what they do for money, not necessarily what they're passionate about. To get insight into who that person truly is, ask: What are you passionate about in your life right now? What lights you up? What excites you? What are you working towards?”
5. Shift your mindset.
“We've all been hurt. And we can be guarded because we don't want to get hurt again. The brain is a very complex and brilliant system designed to keep us safe, and emotional survival is a real thing. We become super protective, and in that, we come up with a lot of different rules, paradigms, [and] belief systems. The biggest mindset shift is: how can we do our own work to know and believe that we are worthy and deserving of love.”
Whether you’re on a dating app or roaming your local Trader Joe’s, love is everywhere — and the abundance of love is available to us once we remove limiting beliefs that make it feel scarce and out of reach. Vulnerability, shedding our walls, and openness just might be the tweaks we need to snitch up the dating streets and watch it heal for the better.
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Featured image by LeoPatrizi/Getty Images