What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women

1. Maven. Divorced. 51.

“I know people like to act like menopause is the end of the world, but that isn’t the case for me. I couldn’t wait for my periods to stop, and almost two years from going through menopause, I can say that the process was easier for me than periods were. My PMS was awful, and even though I did have some hot flashes and restless nights, menopause symptoms were still easier. Now? Being able to have sex whenever I feel like without having to pay attention to a damn calendar? That is enough to make post-menopause bliss!”

2. Analia. Married. 50.

“My hormone levels have always been off and it was draining how much my doctor and I would have to work to find balance for them again. The hormone therapy that I’ve gone through since menopause has totally changed my life because we have finally found the right ‘cocktail’ — one that I have never had before. Now, my libido is higher, I am wetter, and sex is more pleasurable. I know some look down on hormone therapy but it’s been nothing but a blessing for me.”

3. Carmen. Divorced. 49.

“Going through menopause forced me to study my body more than I ever have. Since the symptoms were unpredictable, I had to learn what I really needed to ‘feel like myself’ again. Being a student of my body helped me to learn what works for me and what doesn't — and that made me want to study my body in other ways. Menopause was a blessing in disguise because it has made me more sexually self-aware.”

4. Madison. Married. 54.

“I’ve been married for over 25 years at this point, and I think my hubby will tell you that this is the best sex that both of us have ever had. A part of it is because sex does get better with time when you’re married; your man learns intricate things, and so do you. When it comes to menopause, sex has improved because I don’t bring fear into the bedroom. The fear I had was always worrying about getting pregnant. We have six children, and I love them all, but my body didn’t do well with [hormonal] birth control, my husband wasn’t about to use condoms, so we did a lot of pulling out — A LOT.

"Six kids in, obviously, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. After child five, I was starting to get paranoid; after child six, I definitely was. Being able to have sex now without pregnancy being an issue has caused my freak flag to fly — and I’m sure I don’t have to expound on how thrilled my hubby is about not having to pull out anymore!”

5. Thomasina. Engaged. 39.

“I had a full hysterectomy, and that put me into early surgical menopause. To say that I was depressed for a while is kind of an understatement because I don’t think anyone plans to go through menopause at 34. The good thing is I already had children and didn’t want more; I just needed to adjust to no ovaries. Some people say it’s controversial, but wild yam helped me out. I wanted to treat my lack of estrogen naturally, so I also took black cohosh, DHEA, and evening primrose oil. I have an estrogen-rich diet with foods like soy, dried apricots, blackberries, and garlic, and meditation [has] helped.

"Adjusting [to] and accepting my new normal is what I had to do. When I was dating my now-fiancé, one of the first things he said was he didn’t want any more kids, and one of the first things that I shared was that kids weren’t [physically] on the table for me. That immediately took pressure off of us, and not having to figure out a birth control plan has been a load off. Stressless sex is always better sex.”

6. Doris. Dating. 49.

“I’m just a year into post-menopause and it’s magnifique! I don’t care what doctors say, I felt like my PMS was all month long, so not having to deal with a period means not feeling bloated, achy, and unattractive — none of that puts a woman in the mood for sex. Just feeling like my body isn’t [a] slave to my PMS symptoms has been a relief. I also like traveling without a period because I can go whenever I feel like it, and my travel companion doesn’t have to worry about if I’m not ‘in the mood’ or can’t have sex because my damn period is around.”

7. Johanna. Dating. 52.

“How many times has a woman brought up the thrill of not worrying about pregnancy? For me, that has been the best part about sex after menopause. I don’t think that men get how much birth control consumes the thought process of women. It takes forever to find something that works and doesn’t come with side effects. Then you’ve got to get your insurance to cover it. Then your body goes through changes that might mean that you have to start all over with your birth control search. HEADACHE. Now that I’m past menopause, none of this is an issue. I still need to use rubbers; Mama ain’t dumb. But not worrying about conception takes a lot of pressure off.”

8. Zantha. Married. 38.

“It runs in my family that women go through menopause early, so I wasn’t blindsided or anything. If I didn’t know about it in college, going through it might’ve been difficult but I had my kids young. Hormone therapy has been annoying, but the extra estrogen has made me wetter than ever, and that has made me have more orgasms. Everything has a silver lining, including menopause.”

9. Faysa. Married. 51.

“My sex drive didn’t really change after menopause; lubrication did. I didn’t want to do estrogen therapy because I know about some of the risks that come with it. Instead, I did what I had never done before, [I] tried lubrication. At first, I was a bit embarrassed because wetness has never been an issue for me. But as my man and I started experimenting with different types of lube, including flavors and all of the ways to bring it into foreplay and sex, I found it to be something that I wished that we had used all along! He feels the same way.”

Shellie here: Yeah, lubricant can definitely be your friend. Check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant.”

10. Jacqueline. Divorced. 55.

“Mine is more about how aging has changed my thoughts about menopause. The older I get, I truly don’t give a f-ck what people think — and that has made me more confident. Gray pubic hairs? Sexy. Breasts not as firm? More ways to get creative. No period? It means there is no time of the month when I’m not in the mood. Learn how to keep up. Going through the stages of menopause wasn’t fun, but now that I’m out of all of that, my sex life is better because I see myself as an experienced, daring woman who doesn’t have to revolve my spontaneity around my uterus. You won’t know freedom like that until you come to where I am.”

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It was King Solomon who once said that everything has a time and a season. And when it comes to the season of menopause, please don’t let society and culture make you think that your life is coming to an end. As you just read, even when it comes to your sex life, on some levels, it is only just beginning! #wink

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