I like to put my money right where I can see it: in my closet. While I try to be intentional about how I spend my money, I also feel like there are certain pieces I must have in my wardrobe that make a statement. From time to time, that statement is considered an investment. Thee Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter once said, "I don't like to gamble, but if there's one thing I'm willing to bet on, it's myself." Well ladies, if you're looking to rebuild your wardrobe with some investment pieces, it's time to bet on yourself by snagging some statement items that will transcend trends and time.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
Topshop Cowl Back Satin Slipdress
Nordstrom
If you're a woman over 21, you need a slip dress. Yes sis, I am talking to you! Slip dresses are so sexy and classic. No matter the outing or occasion, you can throw on sneakers or pumps and slay the scene.
BLANKNYC Faux Leather Moto Jacket
Nordstrom Rack
The perfect addition to any simple outfit, the moto jacket is truly a wardrobe essential. Tap into your inner bad gal with faux leather moto jacket by BLANKNYC that is the true definition of edgy meets chic. You can cop the look with another option here.
PAUL GREEN Diana Kiltie Fringe Pointed Toe Loafer
Nordstrom
You may have PTSD from your mom forcing your feet into loafers for church or school but we want to empower you to let that go so you can step into your next-level wardrobe. We want to challenge you to pair these loafers with your go-to suit the next time you're getting dolled up.
Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Shoreline Slip
When it comes to a classic casual sneaker, you can't get any better than Converse. Whether high or low, Converse Chuck Taylors embody effortless and authentic street style, and can turn any casual OOTD up a notch on a stylistic note.
OFF-WHITE Jitney 2.8 Turn to Open Leather Bag
Nordstrom
Time to secure the bag! Say hello to your new structured satchel sure to turn all the heads. It features the new signature OFF-WHITE "ARROWS" motif with unique, trendy sayings. We can see you pairing this bag with a fun t-shirt dress and your favorite shoes. For a cheaper alternative, shop here.
SCHUTZ Lou Pointed Toe Pump Women
Nordstrom
Every girl needs a pair of pumps that make her feel closer to God and closer to her dreams. These SCHUTZ beauties have a slender pointy toe with a tapered heel which is what makes the style of a pump a masterpiece.
Linen Wrapover Blouse
H&M
What's a wardrobe without a white top? We love this linen number for its breathability and versatility. You could rock this to the office with a midi skirt or couple it with jeans for a picnic in the park.
Women's Organic Cotton Box-Cut T-Shirt by Everlane in White
Everlane
Speaking of white top, a good plain white t-shirt is a wardrobe must-have, especially when it comes to creating blank canvases for staples to pop against. When it comes to basics, Everlane is the truth and their Organic Cotton Box-Cut T-Shirt is an icon all on its own when it comes to basic tees.
Women's Mixed-Media Bow Blouse by White House Black Market, Ecru
What's a blouse without drama? With this Mixed-Media Bow Blouse by White House Black Market, the proof is in the pudding in terms of how much a bow can add instant flair. From the exagerrated sleeves to the undeniable shade of ecru, this blouse is the ultimate drip inside of the workplace and out.
Women's Topshop Leather Wrap Pencil Skirt
Topshop
We live for a wrap-style silhoutte because of the way it flatters every shape and embraces every curve. This waist-cinching pencil skirt is a chic take on the professional staple, and due to its leather material can translate well in a work landscape or a night out, depending on if you wish to dress it up or down.
Old Navy Women's Mid-Rise Rockstar Super Skinny Jeans
Old Navy
Denim is the greatest of all time and you need all the styles, washes and shades but starting off with these mid-rise skinnies is a "jean come true". With its riveted scoop pockets and soft medium-wash, we are more than here for it! Fun fact, these jeans are available in both regular, tall, petite and plus sizes.
Gathered-Sleeve Jacket
H&M
Blazers are quintessential to a woman's wardrobe. Whether you have your own business, attend school or work a 9 to 5, you need a blazer. This staple from H&M will quickly pull any look together. You could even stylize it with biker shorts after a long day at your computer.
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There is quite a bit of science to back this up too. For instance, physical touch can lower stress and boost immunity. Physical touch makes us calmer and more compassionate. Physical touch reduces pain and anxiety. Physical touch helps to cultivate emotional intimacy with other people. Physical touch creates comfort and pleasure. Bottom line, physical touch does so much for us which is why we should learn as much about it as we possibly can.
That’s not to say that all of us desire to be touched in the same fashion, though. For example, did you know that there is quite a bit of research to support the fact that men and women (overall) long to be touched in different ways?
In the effort that we all become more “fluently effective” when it comes to how we “speak” the language of physical touch to those around us (especially when it comes to our partner), let’s explore how a man wants to be touched vs. how a woman prefers to be.
Men and Women Are Different. Even When It Comes to Touch. Why, Though?
GiphyBefore I get into some things that I discovered about men and women when it comes to where they prefer to be touched and how those places differ from one another, first let’s — pardon the pun — touch on why there is even a difference in the first place. Apparently, because women’s fingers are naturally softer, they are better when it comes to touch discrimination. What is that? Touch discrimination is basically having the ability to tell the difference between different types of touch sensations. And this is probably a big part of the reason why research also says that when compassion, anger, or happiness is conveyed through touch, men and women tend to respond/react a bit differently as well.
Case in point: One study stated that when two men try to convey compassion through touch, it doesn’t really resonate well, although men can detect anger, even through the slightest touch, extraordinarily well. And happiness? Well, when two women are sharing that feeling through touch, it is clearly conveyed — meanwhile, between a man and a woman or two men? Yeah, not so much.
The thought process for these three emotions is, when it comes to compassion because women have been the prominent caregivers throughout history, they have “mastered” the ability to express it. Anger? Remember, men are good at detecting it — studies say that it’s because they tend to feel and express anger more often; I’d venture to say that being protectors and providers requires being aware of that emotion far more often as well. Happiness? Reportedly, women tend to be happier more often than men are and they also convey their emotions, openly, more than men do too.
How Men Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphyOkay, so when it comes to unique things about men and women as it relates to touch, let’s start with the fellas, out the gate. I wanna do that because, when I was doing my research on all of this, I immediately came across something that proved what I just said in the intro. What part in particular? Did you know that, even when it comes to truly platonic friendships, men still wish that their female friends would engage in physical touch more than women do (via their male friends)?
That’s because, even when it comes to intimacy among friends, physical touch displays trust and a feeling of closeness — and research says that men find that to be valuable. And so yes, this does amplify the point that physical touch and the need for it go well beyond sexual intimacy.
Still, I’m sure that it comes as absolutely no surprise that if you were to ask a group of men and women who prefer the love language of physical touch more, it’s going to be men (especially if they are over the age of 45). And while there are many theories for why this is the case, mine is that, since men are traditionally known and expected to be providers and protectors and that is hard work, I think they feel safe, reassured, seen, validated and deeply cared for through physical touch. It’s a way for them to get “off of the clock” from using touch to take care of others to being touched in a nurturing way.
Some other interesting things about men and touch is, although women seem to be more at ease with being touched overall, guys are more comfortable with being touched by strangers, especially in a flirty way (in part, because they process it as a potential for “opportunity” — read between the lines there), they prefer women touching them over being touched by men and they are known to initiate touch more if who they are touching is a woman.
And what about touch as it relates to sexual intimacy? Well, according to science, while both men and women enjoy their genital region, lips, ears, shoulders, and inner thighs to be caressed, men also respond to the back of their legs to be touched while women barely even acknowledge that part of their body (in this way). Men also consider their hands to be an erogenous zone far more than women do. It should also be noted that men are more aroused by touching their partner than being touched by them.
How Women Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphySo, what about women and touch? Well, something that is associated with women quite a bit is affective touch. If you’re not familiar with what that is, affective touch is all about having the ability to touch in a way that cultivates feeling and emotion. Not only do women tend to be better at doing it, but they also find it to be a more pleasurable experience than men do. Research says that this is because of the fact that, overall, women have had more positive experiences, as it related to touch than men.
Something else that is interesting about affective touch is women who express themselves through touch are typically considered to be more affectionate and trusting as opposed to men who touch a lot. And so, since women like to give affective touch, they are also highly responsive to it — and that could explain why women like to touch and be touched (like reaching out to touch someone’s hand) when someone is sharing their thoughts and feelings with them.
Another thing to note about women and touch is because their pain perception is a lot more sensitive than men’s, even slight adjustments in touch (pressure, temperature shifts in body parts, etc.) will affect them in a way that won’t affect men. When it comes to sexual intimacy, specifically, this could explain why even a slight shift in touch can bring a woman into or take a woman out of the mood far easier and quicker than it would a guy’s.
Something else that should go on record here is how women respond to touch based on their menstrual cycle. For instance, when a woman is ovulating, she tends to be more sensitive to touch; plus, she also finds kissing to be more of a priority. Meanwhile, the drastic shifts in hormones during menopause and postmenopause can make women less sensitive to touch.
As far as sex and sexual stimulation go, women reportedly like to be touched more than to touch. Also, when a man looks into a woman’s eyes while touching her, that increases her arousal levels significantly (men prefer women to gaze at their genitalia; not sure if anyone is shocked there — LOL). Places where they prefer to be touched include their breasts, neck, and butt; some even say that they can orgasm just from being stimulated in those spots (along with their lips and ears). As far as the type of touch that is most effective for women during copulation, oral reigns.
And what about how men feel about oral sex? Well, I once read an article that said that 27 percent of the male participants in their study would rather get some fellatio tonight than receive a raise, so…you do the math. LOL (while we’re on the topic of oral sex, a little over 50 percent of men and women find it to be more intimate than intercourse and consider refusal to engage to be a relationship deal-breaker. Agreed).
GiphyOkay, so with all of this intel on how men and women differ in the touch department, what does all of this even mean? To me, it’s a blaring reminder that even something as simple as touching has billions of layers to it — that even though touch is something that we all need, the art of it is something that must be studied and mastered; especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex and even more so when that person is our partner.
And yet, we shouldn’t take this information lightly because, when you (again) factor in all of the ways that touch is holistically beneficial…just imagine how much better intimacy would be, on all levels, if we respected how people prefer to be touched more often.
A poet by the name of John Keats once said, “Touch has a memory.” Think about that the next time you reach out to touch someone — and they reach out to touch you. Then ask yourself: what memories do you want them to have? What memories do you want to keep?
How can all of this data help to make that happen?
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Featured image by Giphy