12 Investment Staple Pieces To Base Your Wardrobe Around
I like to put my money right where I can see it: in my closet. While I try to be intentional about how I spend my money, I also feel like there are certain pieces I must have in my wardrobe that make a statement. From time to time, that statement is considered an investment. Thee Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter once said, "I don't like to gamble, but if there's one thing I'm willing to bet on, it's myself." Well ladies, if you're looking to rebuild your wardrobe with some investment pieces, it's time to bet on yourself by snagging some statement items that will transcend trends and time.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
Topshop Cowl Back Satin Slipdress
Nordstrom
If you're a woman over 21, you need a slip dress. Yes sis, I am talking to you! Slip dresses are so sexy and classic. No matter the outing or occasion, you can throw on sneakers or pumps and slay the scene.
BLANKNYC Faux Leather Moto Jacket
Nordstrom Rack
The perfect addition to any simple outfit, the moto jacket is truly a wardrobe essential. Tap into your inner bad gal with faux leather moto jacket by BLANKNYC that is the true definition of edgy meets chic. You can cop the look with another option here.
PAUL GREEN Diana Kiltie Fringe Pointed Toe Loafer
Nordstrom
You may have PTSD from your mom forcing your feet into loafers for church or school but we want to empower you to let that go so you can step into your next-level wardrobe. We want to challenge you to pair these loafers with your go-to suit the next time you're getting dolled up.
Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Shoreline Slip
When it comes to a classic casual sneaker, you can't get any better than Converse. Whether high or low, Converse Chuck Taylors embody effortless and authentic street style, and can turn any casual OOTD up a notch on a stylistic note.
OFF-WHITE Jitney 2.8 Turn to Open Leather Bag
Nordstrom
Time to secure the bag! Say hello to your new structured satchel sure to turn all the heads. It features the new signature OFF-WHITE "ARROWS" motif with unique, trendy sayings. We can see you pairing this bag with a fun t-shirt dress and your favorite shoes. For a cheaper alternative, shop here.
SCHUTZ Lou Pointed Toe Pump Women
Nordstrom
Every girl needs a pair of pumps that make her feel closer to God and closer to her dreams. These SCHUTZ beauties have a slender pointy toe with a tapered heel which is what makes the style of a pump a masterpiece.
Linen Wrapover Blouse
H&M
What's a wardrobe without a white top? We love this linen number for its breathability and versatility. You could rock this to the office with a midi skirt or couple it with jeans for a picnic in the park.
Women's Organic Cotton Box-Cut T-Shirt by Everlane in White
Everlane
Speaking of white top, a good plain white t-shirt is a wardrobe must-have, especially when it comes to creating blank canvases for staples to pop against. When it comes to basics, Everlane is the truth and their Organic Cotton Box-Cut T-Shirt is an icon all on its own when it comes to basic tees.
Women's Mixed-Media Bow Blouse by White House Black Market, Ecru
What's a blouse without drama? With this Mixed-Media Bow Blouse by White House Black Market, the proof is in the pudding in terms of how much a bow can add instant flair. From the exagerrated sleeves to the undeniable shade of ecru, this blouse is the ultimate drip inside of the workplace and out.
Women's Topshop Leather Wrap Pencil Skirt
Topshop
We live for a wrap-style silhoutte because of the way it flatters every shape and embraces every curve. This waist-cinching pencil skirt is a chic take on the professional staple, and due to its leather material can translate well in a work landscape or a night out, depending on if you wish to dress it up or down.
Old Navy Women's Mid-Rise Rockstar Super Skinny Jeans
Old Navy
Denim is the greatest of all time and you need all the styles, washes and shades but starting off with these mid-rise skinnies is a "jean come true". With its riveted scoop pockets and soft medium-wash, we are more than here for it! Fun fact, these jeans are available in both regular, tall, petite and plus sizes.
Gathered-Sleeve Jacket
H&M
Blazers are quintessential to a woman's wardrobe. Whether you have your own business, attend school or work a 9 to 5, you need a blazer. This staple from H&M will quickly pull any look together. You could even stylize it with biker shorts after a long day at your computer.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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'Love Is Blind' Star AD Smith Shows Us That The Journey To Self-Worth Is Ongoing And She Shouldn't Be Criticized For It
This season of Love Is Blind was undeniably a rollercoaster ride of emotions. From intricate love triangles to deeply rooted attachment issues, it offered viewers a compelling glimpse into the complexities of modern relationships.
Yet, amidst the drama and romance, I think it serves as a poignant reminder of how we can possess a keen awareness of our relationship patterns; we can even find ourselves in therapy for years yet find ourselves repeatedly entangled in the same destructive cycles. Without the necessary tools and strategies to dismantle old habits and embrace healthier alternatives, we are destined to remain ensnared in a cycle of repetition and stagnation.
Amber Desiree “AD” Smith was left shocked and confused at the altar when her fiancé, Clay Gravesande, ultimately decided not to go through with the wedding ceremony. His actions throughout the season consistently indicated hesitancy towards commitment despite initially expressing readiness for a long-term relationship when he and AD first connected in the pods.
Throughout the season, Clay's journey revealed layers of immaturity stemming from childhood wounds caused by generational trauma, along with a clear unpreparedness for a healthy relationship. His relationship with AD began on shaky ground when he hesitated to commit without knowing her appearance first.
@netflix.reality.clips Clay and AD in the pods #clayloveisblind #ADloveisblind #loveisblindseason6 #libs6 #dating show
Despite AD's initial surprise, she decided to give Clay a chance, continuing their relationship. However, this initial compromise led to recurring issues, such as Clay's insensitive comments about potential weight gain and his insistence that AD join a gym if she were to gain weight in the future.
Despite these challenges, Clay and AD left the pods engaged with a road ahead of them of ongoing struggles in the real world. Clay and AD's relationship seemed shallow, mainly revolving around superficial interactions reminiscent of casual social media banter. Clay's fixation on physical appearance and fear of commitment clashed with AD's idealized vision of their relationship, blinding her from facing the reality of who Clay truly was.
Clay often centered conversations around himself, indicating a deep need for validation, which AD eagerly provided. From my point of view, this mutual reinforcement bolstered Clay's ego while fulfilling AD's need for validation in return.
Throughout season 6, Clay grappled with committing to a single partner, influenced by his upbringing witnessing his father's multiple relationships and extramarital affairs. The absence of healthy marriage examples shaped his perception of relationships. Despite these challenges, AD remained steadfast in her support, demonstrating a willingness to confront and overcome obstacles with Clay, given her upbringing in a household where her father was absent, an attachment wound that she has gained awareness about in therapy.
In the season finale, AD's excitement turned to confusion when Clay unexpectedly responded with "I don't" after her "I do." Clay's decision wasn't about AD's worth but stemmed from his own lack of emotional maturity and focus on superficial traits like physical appearance and achievement.
@stephmoneymonster Justice for AD #loveisblind #loveisblindseason6 #fpy #viralvideo #foryoupage #single #dating
Despite Clay's repeated expressions of self-doubt throughout the season, AD was visibly taken aback, holding onto the hope that he would change. AD's desire to be with Clay overshadowed her ability to discern if he was the right guy for her. Throughout the season, she found herself caught up in a fantasy of who she wanted Clay to be and the idea of being married to him. Clay's repeated statements about how AD made him a better man and how he wanted to change for her likely boosted her ego.
Many of us can relate to AD's struggle; grappling with feelings of unworthiness due to childhood trauma and abandonment often traps us in cycles that reinforce our deepest fears.
At the altar, AD was left devastated, questioning her worthiness and desirability. However, it’s not that AD isn’t worthy; she’s just stuck in a pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable partners, reminiscent of her father. Though she desires a different outcome, she finds herself unable to connect with a man who is emotionally present, reflecting her own emotional unavailability.
In our society, there's a common expectation for women to take on the role of nurturing and guiding men, often justified by the belief that “boys will be boys.” Like most women, AD frequently excuses Clay's behavior and does much of the emotional work in their relationship.
Deep down, AD likely felt the need to show unwavering support to Clay, hoping to secure his commitment by accommodating his flaws. For AD, love has become synonymous with earning someone's affection, a belief she reinforced by investing her heart in Clay, hoping to prove her worth to him. Yet, in doing so, she unwittingly perpetuated her own cycle of dysfunction.
AD's journey highlights the importance of being discerning in relationships, distinguishing between genuine compatibility, and settling for something less (the "right" from the "kinda sorta right"). Unfortunately, she lacked the tools to see Clay clearly, especially when dealing with her own attachment issues. Relying solely on physical attraction can be risky, as it often leads to repeating old patterns, with judgment clouded by the intensity of emotions.
Netflix Love Is Blind season 6 Clay and AD/ Screenshot
Engaging in inner work through therapy is undoubtedly a crucial step toward personal growth and healing, but it doesn’t fix us. It provides us with the opportunity to delve into our past traumas, confront deep-seated insecurities, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. However, despite the insights gained and the progress made within the therapeutic setting, applying this newfound self-awareness to real-life situations, especially in the realm of romantic relationships, can be challenging.
For someone like AD, the journey towards self-discovery is ongoing. I love the way Yung Pueblo puts it: “If the pain was deep, you will have to let it go many times.” While therapy equips her with valuable tools for introspection and self-reflection, it doesn't necessarily guarantee an immediate transformation in her dating behavior or decision-making process because she needs to grieve what she didn’t get from her father and create a new identity for herself.
One of the biggest reasons for this disparity between inner work and practical application lies in the complexity of human emotions and behavior.
Despite understanding the root causes of her attachment issues, AD found herself still drawn to partners who perpetuate these dynamics. This phenomenon often occurs because our emotional responses are deeply ingrained and may override rational thought processes, particularly when it pertains to matters of the heart.
'Love Is Blind' Season 6 Finale AD and Clay's Wedding/ Screenshot
Furthermore, the dynamics of therapy sessions differ vastly from real-life interactions and relationships. In therapy, individuals are in a controlled environment where they can explore their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. However, the unpredictability and vulnerability inherent in dating can trigger old wounds and defense mechanisms, making it challenging to maintain the same level of self-awareness and emotional regulation.
Moreover, societal expectations and cultural norms can exert significant pressure on individuals like AD, influencing their perceptions of what constitutes a successful relationship. The desire for validation, societal approval, or the fear of being alone may cloud judgment and lead to compromising on core values or overlooking red flags.
So, how can we bridge the gap between inner work and practical application in our own dating lives?
Firstly, it's essential to acknowledge that growth is a gradual process and setbacks are inevitable. Instead of expecting instant results, we can practice self-compassion and patience while holding ourselves accountable.
Additionally, we can also work on slowing down, setting boundaries, and practicing assertiveness in our interactions with potential partners. Start getting to know people from the inside out. Not just by what they say but by what they do. These two things should always walk hand in hand.
By clearly communicating our needs and values and slowing down on physical intimacy, we can better discern whether a relationship aligns with our values.
Furthermore, seeking support from wise counsel (trusted friends and family), mentors, or even continuing therapy BEFORE things get too serious can provide us with additional perspectives and guidance as we navigate the dating landscape. Having a support network can offer reassurance and validation while also providing accountability in making healthy choices.
Lastly, by staying attuned to our emotions and paying attention to what our intuition is saying, we can make more informed decisions and avoid falling into familiar traps.
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Feature image Netflix Love Is Blind Season 6/ Screenshot