
What You Need To Know About Shea, Mango, Kokum & Other Body Butters

Nashville's weather is so fickle. Take this week, for instance. Monday, it was in the late 80s, and then Tuesday, the high had the nerve to be in the low 60s. That’s why I try my best to take the advice of one of my late great-grandmothers who used to say that you should dress for the season, not the weather (and won’t that preach?). And so, while I ran a couple of errands on Tuesday, I had on a sweatshirt, some jeans, and a pair of flip-flops (hey, they were comfortable).
Now, I must admit that my feet “told on me a bit” because they were dry dry — which is what traditionally happens to them whenever the weather gets cooler. And since I don’t use lotion and “sealing my skin” with my current favorite oil (plum oil) typically isn’t enough, this is the time of year when I adore body butters the most.
Aside from the fact that body butters are great because they’re extracted from natural things like nuts, seeds, and beans, and because there is no water in them, body butters are also thicker than lotions and other popular body creams. Know what else? Body butters are really good for your skin because they come with all sorts of nutrients (including various vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, proteins, and antioxidants) sans any chemicals.
So, since we’re pretty deep into autumn at this point, if you are looking for a way to keep your skin soft, smooth, hella hydrated, and even glowing, here are 10 different types of butters that can give you exactly what you need — head to toe too.
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1. Shea Butter
Aside from the classic cocoa butter (which I will get to before this is over, for sure), probably the most popular body butter on this list is shea butter. Shea butter is actually a type of “fat” that comes from the nut that hangs off of shea trees (in West Africa).
Because it’s loaded with antioxidants, it contains antifungal properties along with ones that help to boost collagen production; it works well as a natural sunscreen; it helps to fade skin discoloration, stretch marks, and acne marks; it soothes eczema and psoriasis; it reduces the inflammation that is associated with arthritis; it definitely deeply moisturizes your skin, and it even treats dandruff (and reduces hair breakage) — how could you not have at least one tub of shea butter in your possession?
Anyway, because shea butter is so commercialized at this point, if you want to make sure that you are getting the kind that is as raw and unrefined as possible, there are some purchasing tips that you should check out here.
2. Hemp Seed Butter
So, hemp seeds are seeds that literally come from — yep, you guessed it, the Cannabis sativa, which is a hemp plant. That said, if you’re low-key wondering if they can get you high, they only contain an itty-bitty amount of THC, so…probably not. Anyway, hemp butter is good for your skin because the fatty acids in it are known to soothe eczema, reduce overall itchiness and irritation, and, yes, really quench dry skin. And since the properties in hemp seeds can also help to reduce PMS and menopause-related symptoms, you definitely should cop you some.
This particular body butter you can find on sites like Etsyhere. Or, if you’d prefer to make some from scratch, check out this recipehere.
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3. Mango Butter
A type of body butter that I can 1000 percent vouch for is mango butter. This kind of butter is made from mango seeds. Between the antibacterial and antimicrobial along with the antioxidants that it contains, mango butter will help to heal damaged skin cells, and moisturize your skin, and the salicylic acid in it will help to protect your skin from UV rays (which are around whenever the sun is out, regardless of what time of year it is).
Since mango butter is the type of body butter that won’t clog your pores or leave a greasy residue, you can use it even if you’ve got acne-prone skin. As a bonus, if you’re looking for a butter that will also hydrate your hair, mango butter can do that, too, while also serving as an all-natural heat protectant before using a blow dryer or flat iron. Awesome, indeed. Some places to purchase raw mango butter include here, here, and here.
4. Tucuma Butter
Tucuma seeds come from the tucuma palm tree that is in South America. It’s a type of fruit that has a ton of fatty acids in it along with antioxidants. The cool thing about this particular butter is it’s so good in the hydration department that a lot of people use it on their hair in order to smooth their cuticles and reduce frizzing.
And since it’s great for your hair, at the very least, consider applying it to your scalp once a week or even using it on the driest parts of your body (like the heels of your feet, your hands, elbows, and legs) after getting out of the bath or shower in order to properly “seal” your skin. You can get some raw tucuma butter here and here.
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5. Almond Butter
I already know. Some of y’all just read this one and thought it was a typo because, usually when the topic of almond butter comes up, it’s in edible form. Okay, but here’s the thing — did you know that almonds are really good for your skin?One reason is because of all of the magnesium and vitamin E that’s in it.
Another is because it contains properties that can protect your skin from UV damage, environmental pollution, and other things that can cause damage to your skin cells. Another cool thing about almonds is all of the vitamin E in them can help to prevent and/or reduce hyperpigmentation as the linoleic acid in it can help to hydrate, especially the skin of women who are going through perimenopause or are in postmenopausal. Another perk of almonds is they can help to prevent and/or reduce the appearance of stretch marks.
That said, a great (and easy) recipe for this type of body butter is to gohere to make raw almond butter; then add rosewater and some manuka honey (add as much as you want to get the consistency that you’d prefer).Rosewater contains antioxidants, reduces skin irritation, and hydrates. And, as far as manuka honey goes, well, check out “Manuka Honey Is The Ultimate Beauty Find” when you get a chance. It’s just what the title says that it is.
6. Babassu Butter
The babassu palm tree also hails from South America and actually, when it comes to the skin, it’s mostly used in oil form. What it’s best known for is speeding up the healing process of minor cuts and skin wounds as well as reducing the vaginal discharge that is associated with hormonal imbalances. Anyway, the potent amount of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties, as well as all of the fatty acids in babassu oil help to moisturize your skin without leaving any greasy residue.
Something else that’s pretty dope about it is that studies say that babassu oil can leave your skin feeling soft and smooth without leading to any breakouts. There is a word of caution with this one, though. Some health professionals say that there hasn’t been enough research conducted to say that it’s completely safe for pregnant or breastfeeding women to use, so definitely speak with your healthcare provider if you happen to fit into either category.
For everyone else, you can purchase some babassu butter here, or if you’d prefer to go the DIY route, you can get the oil here, and a quick two-ingredient recipe is here.
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7. Cocoa Butter
As I said earlier, cocoa butter is probably the most popular body butter of them all — and with just cause. The saturated/fatty fats in the butter do everything from repairing the barrier of your skin and deeply moisturizing it to improving the elasticity of your skin and smoothing the appearance of scars and stretch marks.
Another thing to keep in mind about cocoa butter is if you happen to struggle with rashes from eczema or dermatitis, it can speed up the healing process of those as well. The vitamin E that’s in cocoa butter can make it a great all-natural lip balm on those cold and windy days, too. Cocoa butter is pretty easy to find. If you want it in its rawest form, though, some places include here and here.
8. Kokum Butter
Kokum comes from the seeds of the fruit of the kokum tree. Thanks to its anti-inflammatory properties and antioxidants, as well as the vitamins B and E, magnesium, and manganese that it contains, kokum is able to treat issues that are related to inflammation from dermatitis. Not only that, but when it’s turned into butter form, kokum is a popular skincare ingredient thanks to its ability to deeply hydrate the skin without clogging your pores in the process. And, since it has so much Vitamin E in it, you can also use it to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, fade scars, and soothe any itching that may come from having really dry skin.
Places like Amazon sell kokum butter in its rawest form. One merchant can be found here.
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9. Coconut Butter
Something that you’ve heard me mention several times throughout this article is fatty acids. The reality is if you want your skin to get and remain in peak condition, it needs those in order to add elasticity, deeply hydrate, speed up the healing process of surface wounds, help to prevent breakouts and slow down the aging process of your skin from top to bottom. Well, something that contains several different types of fatty acids is a coconut.
Aside from the other benefits that I just mentioned, another thing that is bomb about using coconut in the form of body butter is it also has properties that help to keep skin-related infections like athlete’s foot and cellulitis (a pretty serious skin infection that’s caused by bacteria) from becoming a real issue. Another wonderful thing about this fruit is it is an all-natural soother if eczema is something that you happen to deal with. Coconut butter can be purchased in its raw form at places like Amazon here.
10. Sal Seed (Tree) Butter
Yeah, don’t even get me started on the fact that it was hard to find a lot of scientific articles on this last type of butter. SMDH. That’s because, while the West likes to pump medication down our throats, natural approaches to our health are something that isn’t explored and/or shared en masse nearly enough (because it doesn’t make the same kind of money, and yet, I digress). And you know what? All that does is make me want to share uncommon natural things, even more, chile — like Sal seed butter.
A tree in India produces the seed, and it’s great for your skin because it is also rich in fatty acids — the kind that soothes super dry skin, helps to slow down the appearance of aging in your skin, and even brings relief to achy muscles. Matter of fact, after doing some extra digging, I discovered that many cosmetic companies like to use Sal seed as one of their ingredients (well, looka there). If you’d like to give this particular body butter a shot, especially as something to massage yourself with, you can purchase some here, here, or here.
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Okay, so if you clicked on some of the links of the various body butters and thought to yourself, “They don’t have the consistency that I’m looking for,” that’s probably because you’ve got whipped body butter in mind. No problem. After buying the raw butter, all you need is an electric mixer, some of your favorite carrier oils (to make the butter super smooth), essential oils (for fragrance), and a container (with a lid), and you’re good to go.
You can go here for a DIY whipped body butter recipe that you can read or you can check out a YouTube video on how to make your own whipped body butter here. When stored in a cool, dark, dry place, homemade body butter can last anywhere from 3-6 months — if you make some now, that can take you well into late winter/early spring.
So…what are you waiting for? Between the cold weather that’s steadily coming outside and the HVAC unit’s dry heat indoors, your skin needs the TLC of some body butter — and now, you know just the kind to indulge it with. Enjoy!
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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