OK, girls, so daylight savings time has come, the clocks have rolled back, and we have officially entered *drum roll* cuffing seasonnnn! That's right, ladies, the infamously annual cuffing season. And while some of us are ecstatic, the rest of us are rolling our damn eyes dreading another year of more of the same. But whether we're interested or not, society has synonymously named the next few months as a time for prospective bae applications to officially become wide open—just in time for holidays.
On this week's xoNecole's Happy Hour episode, Amer and Sheriden decided to lay out the blueprint and explore exactly what this means:
What is cuffing season? How do we navigate? What will cuffing season look like in a world of COVID? Is this when you're going to find bae? Should we be out here dating multiple men?
Courtesy of Insecure/HBO
Grab a cocktail and press play as the ladies divulge in helping us all figure out the tough answers to what we all ultimately want to know...is you cuffin' or nah?
Amer and Sheriden are now accepting voice notes! Click here to send them a 1-2 minute question for your chance to receive on-air advice directly from them! Also, be sure to subscribe and listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
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"'Tis The Season: Is You Cuffin' Or Nah?" Show Notes
Intro:
We're in Mercury retrograde, yayyyy. #sarcasm
Understanding the importance of lessons that are masked by challenges. Knowing how to separate your emotions from work. Don't take on other people's feelings, sis!
#HoodieEnergy, get you some.
Tis the season to be boo'd up, yall! We break it all down as we discuss:
- Shooting our shots
- Having dating rosters
- New rules for cuffing amid COVID
Pre-Game:
Twitter's 'How It's Started vs. How It's Going'—we love this because this is a great time to reflect on how far we've come
Our fave YouTube relationships, who are yours?
Men actually categorize women into "Girls You Date" and "Fun Girls"
Happy Hour:
Courtesy of Insecure/HBO
Great news! You can now visit xohappyhour.com to leave us voice notes, which we will begin playing on-air (please limit to 1-2 minutes).
We played our first voice note on-air from this segment from xoHappy Hour listener, Taylor:
Dating and achieving your goals: how do we balance both?
Sheriden's advice: if you have the bandwidth and capacity, then see where it goes! But there's nothing wrong with just having the friendship in the meantime.
Amer's advice: When you ask the universe for something, they are going to send it to you, but before they give it to you, they're going to test you to see if that's what you really want.
As you go along with trying to reach your goals, you're going to attract the right person. If you're on the right path, they're going to find you. If this is your person, he'll still be there at the end of your journey.
We need to reintroduce and normalize men and women JUST being friends. Why has this gone out of style?
Men today believe they are in control in dating. Are they the prize now?
"I'm not the table, I'm the room." -- Amer-Marie Woods
Cuffing season, defined
- Defining what it means to date during cuffing season
- Does holiday season have an affect?
- What do people actually do during this time?
Roster dating, defined
- How it works, who's on the team
- Ground rules
- How it can get tricky
The rules of casual sex, knowing when to have sex, expectations, and more
How has COVID pivoted cuffing season?
- COVID vs. STDs
- End of the world syndrome, what is it?
- We're not sure how it's going to work, but if you're going to be out here, be responsible!
Hobosexuals are real.
Shooting your shot...are we doing this?
Sending nudes and the mixed messages that come along
If you're sliding in the DMs: have something to talk about!
People aren't good at conversations because they don't really know themselves *poetry snaps*
What has cuffing season or casual dating taught you about yourself?
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Why Men Love Bitches (book)
"Cuffing Season & COVID-19. Whew, Chile." by Shellie Warren
Missed our last episode? Catch up and listen to Episode 3 | Throw It Back Like A Zodiac: Mercury Retrograde, Horoscopes, & Tarot Reading Defined
Feature GIF courtesy of Insecure/HBO
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
