A short time ago, “send me a pic” was the only way to subtly facilitate the back-and-forth action of sending nude pics, and they were often from a guy you were talking to.
Text exchanges were already well into the sexting territory, so a nude was a treat, sexy and sweet, easy to swallow. But that exchange has quickly evolved to into something any random man feels compelled to do, even if your relationship or conversation never even alluded to the possibility of a sexual relationship.
With the introduction of technological advances such as the smartphone and social media, it seems that people are not willing to take their time, build connection, or master the art of seduction. Technology has undoubtedly had an influence on how we relate to one another, and it trickles over into the dating world.
A couple of weeks ago one of my coworkers (who I forgot even had my number, that’s how little we interacted outside of work) sent a series of six photos featuring an ashy penis: held in his hand, against a comforter (for contrast I suppose), a close up to its tip, a side profile, and one top view angle. I couldn't help but wonder, what did I do to deserve this? I get that fortune favors the bold, but I don’t really think that’s what they had in mind when that quote was uttered!
The misconception of what's considered appropriate comes from the fact that men and women are different. Men tend to be a lot more visual, so getting hit with a nude featuring some T, A, and V is right up their alley as far as turn on’s are concerned. For women, not so much. Seduction is what we like, build up, sext me with words, tease me with a shot of your abs and an imprint versus the real deal Holyfield.
There’s no such thing as “unsolicited” when it’s coming from a partner.
I began to wonder if I was alone in this feeling of not being into receiving unsolicited nude photos and inquired about it with some women who are close to me and the general consensus was there:
We don’t like it.
“I definitely had one of those. I just played like I never got it. Then he was like, ‘Oh how’d you like the pic?’. My response, ‘I didn’t respond because I have no clue what you want me to do with it’. #yawn.” - S.H.
“I'm not a fan. The male anatomy is nice to look at in person, but I just have never thought it photographs well, regardless of how big, thick, caramel colored or whatever. I don't discriminate either because vag shots almost always look like loose meat sandwiches to me. My husband loves sending peen pics when he's bored in the shower or at work and while I love the gesture, they do nothing for me. Of course I am a fan of the real thing, but having to quickly scroll down on my phone on the train because I need to text him back without giving other passengers a free show is not fun. Now give me a pic of a nice peen imprint in some sweatpants like the ones Chris Brown is famous for or that chiseled "thigh brow" line, I'm here for that. Just my two cents.”
- A.P.
“I recently received a pic from some guy who I had just met. I thought he was going to be a business connect, and next thing I know I get an unsolicited picture of dude's john, and I was pissed. I felt disrespected and that the guy clearly thought little of me for him to feel comfortable sending the picture. I immediately told him about himself and blocked him. For me, any type of ‘sexy’ pictures should be reserved for your partner, not some random. I don't get excited over penis pics. They do nothing for me. And I have to question any guy who sends unsolicited pictures to someone other than your girl. It makes me think you don't respect yourself and that this is something that you do often. Like, how many girls got your john in their phone? That's not cool bruh.”
- K.M.
“To be honest, most of the time (penis) pics I get come from casual encounters and nothing ever transpires from them so I play along and sext back, but on the other side of the phone I’m sending them to my friends and laughing about how funny looking it is.”
- O.O.
Fellas, here is a simple rule when it comes to sending nudes:
If you’re not her man or are not in a sexual relationship with her, do not press send. Do not pass go, do not collect the $200, instead, converse with her the right way and if you’re really interested in taking the convo there, do so as naturally as possible. Wait until you’re sexting hot and heavy and don’t be afraid to ask a simple, “Can I send you something?” If you wish to be direct, do so the right way versus saying “surprise” with your member. Actions do not get your farther than words in this scenario, trust.
Men should tread lightly with that sort of thing unless they are trying to get blocked for good. Although it understandably is often used as a tool to gauge someone’s sexual interest in you, a direct conversation versus pictures might be a better way to go. As with most things, there is a time and there is a place for nudes. Receiving a nude photo in a working environment, out of the blue, from a random randomly, is just so unnecessary. Whatever happened to that slow burn the 90’s taught us so well?
How do you feel about unsolicited nudes filtering their way into your inboxes? Is it completely opposite from me and the ladies above? Is it the same? Share below.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
_____
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy
