

A short time ago, “send me a pic” was the only way to subtly facilitate the back-and-forth action of sending nude pics, and they were often from a guy you were talking to.
Text exchanges were already well into the sexting territory, so a nude was a treat, sexy and sweet, easy to swallow. But that exchange has quickly evolved to into something any random man feels compelled to do, even if your relationship or conversation never even alluded to the possibility of a sexual relationship.
With the introduction of technological advances such as the smartphone and social media, it seems that people are not willing to take their time, build connection, or master the art of seduction. Technology has undoubtedly had an influence on how we relate to one another, and it trickles over into the dating world.
A couple of weeks ago one of my coworkers (who I forgot even had my number, that’s how little we interacted outside of work) sent a series of six photos featuring an ashy penis: held in his hand, against a comforter (for contrast I suppose), a close up to its tip, a side profile, and one top view angle. I couldn't help but wonder, what did I do to deserve this? I get that fortune favors the bold, but I don’t really think that’s what they had in mind when that quote was uttered!
The misconception of what's considered appropriate comes from the fact that men and women are different. Men tend to be a lot more visual, so getting hit with a nude featuring some T, A, and V is right up their alley as far as turn on’s are concerned. For women, not so much. Seduction is what we like, build up, sext me with words, tease me with a shot of your abs and an imprint versus the real deal Holyfield.
There’s no such thing as “unsolicited” when it’s coming from a partner.
I began to wonder if I was alone in this feeling of not being into receiving unsolicited nude photos and inquired about it with some women who are close to me and the general consensus was there:
We don’t like it.
“I definitely had one of those. I just played like I never got it. Then he was like, ‘Oh how’d you like the pic?’. My response, ‘I didn’t respond because I have no clue what you want me to do with it’. #yawn.” - S.H.
“I'm not a fan. The male anatomy is nice to look at in person, but I just have never thought it photographs well, regardless of how big, thick, caramel colored or whatever. I don't discriminate either because vag shots almost always look like loose meat sandwiches to me. My husband loves sending peen pics when he's bored in the shower or at work and while I love the gesture, they do nothing for me. Of course I am a fan of the real thing, but having to quickly scroll down on my phone on the train because I need to text him back without giving other passengers a free show is not fun. Now give me a pic of a nice peen imprint in some sweatpants like the ones Chris Brown is famous for or that chiseled "thigh brow" line, I'm here for that. Just my two cents.”
- A.P.
“I recently received a pic from some guy who I had just met. I thought he was going to be a business connect, and next thing I know I get an unsolicited picture of dude's john, and I was pissed. I felt disrespected and that the guy clearly thought little of me for him to feel comfortable sending the picture. I immediately told him about himself and blocked him. For me, any type of ‘sexy’ pictures should be reserved for your partner, not some random. I don't get excited over penis pics. They do nothing for me. And I have to question any guy who sends unsolicited pictures to someone other than your girl. It makes me think you don't respect yourself and that this is something that you do often. Like, how many girls got your john in their phone? That's not cool bruh.”
- K.M.
“To be honest, most of the time (penis) pics I get come from casual encounters and nothing ever transpires from them so I play along and sext back, but on the other side of the phone I’m sending them to my friends and laughing about how funny looking it is.”
- O.O.
Fellas, here is a simple rule when it comes to sending nudes:
If you’re not her man or are not in a sexual relationship with her, do not press send. Do not pass go, do not collect the $200, instead, converse with her the right way and if you’re really interested in taking the convo there, do so as naturally as possible. Wait until you’re sexting hot and heavy and don’t be afraid to ask a simple, “Can I send you something?” If you wish to be direct, do so the right way versus saying “surprise” with your member. Actions do not get your farther than words in this scenario, trust.
Men should tread lightly with that sort of thing unless they are trying to get blocked for good. Although it understandably is often used as a tool to gauge someone’s sexual interest in you, a direct conversation versus pictures might be a better way to go. As with most things, there is a time and there is a place for nudes. Receiving a nude photo in a working environment, out of the blue, from a random randomly, is just so unnecessary. Whatever happened to that slow burn the 90’s taught us so well?
How do you feel about unsolicited nudes filtering their way into your inboxes? Is it completely opposite from me and the ladies above? Is it the same? Share below.
Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Roscoe Dash joined xoMan host Kiara Walker to share the journey of his personal and spiritual evolution—from the party anthems that made him famous to a deeper life rooted in faith, family, and purpose. This episode offers an honest look at how the artist has grown beyond early fame, addressing fatherhood, masculinity, creativity, and healing.
Dash opened up about the internal transformation that has guided him away from chasing the spotlight and toward seeking peace. “Faith and fear can’t occupy the same space,” he said, underscoring his shift toward a more spiritually grounded life. Throughout the interview, he emphasized the importance of self-reflection:
“The most important conversations to me, honestly, outside of the ones you have with God, is the ones you have with yourself in the mirror.”
Dash is focused on the man he’s become. “I’m not the accolades I’ve achieved—I’m the person who achieved them,” he added, pointing to a broader understanding of identity and worth. A large part of that growth has come through fatherhood, especially raising daughters, which he said has deepened his understanding of love. “Love is unconditional and love loves to love no matter what,” he shared.
He also spoke candidly about the pressures of fame and its impact on creativity. “Chasing fame can kill your creativity as a musician,” he warns. Instead, his advice to other artists is simple but clear: “Keep your focus on your art form, whatever that may be, and stay passionate.”
The conversation also touches on gender dynamics and emotional safety in relationships. “Safe men make soft women. If she feels safe, she’ll melt like butter,” he said, challenging traditional notions of masculinity. Roscoe also offers wisdom on discernment and spiritual testing: “Sometimes the devil will give you what looks better than your blessing.”
Ultimately, Dash has learned to embrace peace over chaos. “All I can do is control what I can control. And that's how I respond to things and what I'm giving out,” he said. It’s a thoughtful, soulful side of Roscoe Dash that many may not expect—but one that leaves a lasting impression.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube